Soulfully Orgasmic Sage: How To Turn On Your Man

You don't have to do this alone. If you need help in your life, business, or relationship, I do intuitive coaching. You can book an appointment through this link or reach me through my website JenniferElizabethMasters.com

Sex Addiction: The Courage To Love

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Anxiety, shame,  guilt, remorse are all feelings that surface with sex addiction. Hours are lost, relationships broken and lives slip away. Sex is the drug of choice. Any type of addiction is due to rejection of the self with self hatred figuring prominently. Sex addicts believe they are in control of their life, when they are not. No one wants to be a sex addict. There is help and light at the end of the tunnel.  

Don't feel this applies to you? Teens are becoming addicted to porn on the Internet. This is a serious issue. 

7:00 PM PST TONIGHT ON SEX AS MEDICINE

Tonight on Sex As Medicine with Devi Ward we jointly interview Paul Ginocchio, creator of the movie, "The Courage To Love." Paul's movie details the lives of four individuals who suffered from sex addiction and their stories of recovery.

There are consequences to sex addiction. Acting out can ruin relationships, cause depression and disconnection from the self, and those you love.

Addicted To Own Endorphins

Whether it is pornography, masturbation, or sex with others, sex addiction is an addiction to our own endorphins. Like a drug addict, a trance-like state is reached where nothing matters but getting needs met. Without help, sex addiction can lead to arrests, broken relationships and lost years. Cruising, looking for "Heroine in high heels," was Paul's experience.

Like An Eating Disorder

Jay Parker who was arrested finally for exposing himself to two girls, lost his job as a basketball scout, his marriage and his friends. He compared sex addiction to an eating disorder. We have to eat, it is part of life. Sex is a natural part of life. Sex addiction is a distortion, a natural urge twisted into an illness that drives you.

Numbness

An emotional numbness occurs where there is a lack of heart-connection. There is nothing joyful in sex addiction. Instead it is empty, looking to fill the void from childhood. 

Sweaty palms, hunched over and the anxiety that follows are not good feelings. The feelings of guilt, shame and darkness that surrounds sex addiction creates depression and a sense of hopelessness.

Fear of Intimacy

There may be lots of sex happening, but there is no connection. No real intimacy can exist when you are an addict. People who are addicted to sex cannot allow anyone to see their true self. They are too afraid to let anyone see the darkness that lies beneath the surface. 

Is it possible to masturbate too much? The answer is YES! If you are masturbating several times a day, you are addicted to sex.

In my personal experience sexual trauma was the cause. In over 80% of sex addiction cases, sexual trauma took place in childhood. A lack of validation from parents creates a deep void or emptiness that can't be filled. An endless desire for more, drives the sex addict. 

Recovery

Available on Amazon.com

Recovery from addiction is possible. It is far easier to find fault with others than to see our issues. Honesty, vulnerability and awareness are parts of recovery. When we are in our addiction we can't see that we need help. Self acceptance and self love is the answer. It takes courage to get help. If you are looking for help for your sex addiction or that of a loved one, listen to the show tonight. The movie, The Courage To Love is available for purchase. I watched it twice. It is poignant, and eye-opening.

Our self-esteem takes a beating when we are addicts. I know I was there once. Co-dependency is the need to be in a relationship to feel whole is an addiction. We have a tendency to look at others and say, "I don't have that issue." Compassion, understanding, and love

is the key to getting help and helping a loved one who is addicted. The search for love is what I help others with. If you are looking for love and not finding it, I can help. It begins with you. Visit my website here.  Aphroditeeffect.com

Much Love,
Jennifer

3 Ways To Use Porn To Heal And Tinder Apocolypse

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Happy October everyone! Autumn is my favorite season. In the desert, there aren't any trees that change color. Maybe it's because my birthday falls in the month of October? Or is it the fact that the weather begins to cool. Speaking of cool, tonight I co-host with Devi Ward's on Sex As Medicine radio. You won't want to miss this one! 7:00 PM PST, 10:00 PM EST.

The Tinder Apocolypse And Healing With Porn (iTunes)

Heal With Porn?

1. Healing The Good Girl Archetype. We are not talking about the obsessive use of pornography. What we are discussing is healing the good girl syndrome. Many of us were brought up to be good little girls. The "Good Girl Archetype" has nothing to do with being a sexually aware and conscious woman. 
2. Healing Shame.
3. Using porn to connect. Connected sex, as opposed to cardboard sex. Pleasuring while watching together.

Tinder 

Tinder is leading to erectile dysfunction in young males, disrespect and devaluation of women. Young 20-somethings are using Tinder to hook-up. Tonight we discuss the pros (which are few) and the cons which are many. 

More on Tinder:

Tinder: Super-LIKE Button!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach. Her foundational work is in the area of self-esteem and self-love. Mastery of the self, leads to permanent happiness and ease in all your relationships. You can make an appointment with Jennifer privately here: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

Is It Possible To Masturbate Too Much?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

I have been studying Traditional Chinese Medicine for almost 20 years. I use acupuncture in conjunction with my energy healing to keep myself healthy and balanced. Both Ayurvedic and Chinese Medicine believe we need to guard our energy as if our life depends on it, because it does. 

The Chinese believe that we only have a certain amount of life force. We are given this life force from our parents. Some parents have a strong constitution and live long, healthy lives, like mine. Others, like my ex husband, have a parent, or maybe two that die early, prone to heart issues and karma that causes an early demise. Just as we can spend everything in our bank account, we can also spend the JING, (core essence and life force) too soon. When we spend it too soon, health issues, like erectile dysfunction result.

Men as young as 22 are having issues with erectile dysfunction. It is easier for some shy young men to have sex with themselves rather than face the rejection of a girl. Teens are being educated about sex, by porn sites, because they don't want to talk to their

parents about it. Parents often feel uncomfortable broaching the subject of sex with their teens, and may even be releived that thier children seem to have a lack of interest. 

Men married and single are also able to view pornography to experience arousal. Masturbation seems like an effortlessly and painless release, however there are consequences to too much masturbation. 

Pornography is easily accessible. There is no need to go to the video store or Red Box to rent porn. It can be delivered quickly and easily to your mailbox. After visiting a porn site, you are followed, like a visitor that was welcome one day and not the next, it can be

difficult to resist this perpetual knock at your door. Watching porn and masturbating is becoming the norm, rather than the rarity for many men. What many are not aware of is the underlying darker side of watching porn and masturbating. Pornography becomes like cocaine. 

Everything In Moderation

Watching it a little, once in a while is one thing. When the arousal does not happen as easily, men are turning to harder core porn, to ignite their desire. Like cocaine or heroin, the need for it becomes more intense and with increased frequency, their wives or partners no longer turn them on, and they turn away from their relationships. Doors closed, secrecy builds walls not only causing a deep and powerful addiction, but ruining lives, through lost jobs, wives and families.

Divorce siting pornography addiction is on the rise. PIED (Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction) is a real phenomenon. Young men are experiencing erectile dysfunction through porn and masturbation addiction. When a 23 year old needs Cialis or Viagra to get an erection, people need to begin paying attention. Pornography can ruin lives. It is not the way real people have sex. There is no communication with another person. There is no love here. Sex without love is empty. It may give you a charge in the beginning, but it will end up leaving you feeling guilty, ashamed when it becomes a necessity in your life. 

I know a thing or two about sex addiction. I have experienced it. I know the shame of needing to have sex. Sex without love leaves us feeling empty and alone. Humans need a connection to really thrive. We need to be held, hugged, kissed and understood. Compassion for ourselves is key to being able to move beyond this addiction. 

Suppressing Emotions

Masturbation can be a way to suppress feelings of low self esteem. Some men reach for their joy stick because they want to shift the way they are feeling in the moment. Sitting with our emotions and feeling them fully is healthy. Allow yourself to feel the emotions, rather than masturbate to avoid feeling. Feeling is actually healthy.

The feeling of bliss following ejaculation can last seconds or minutes in some cases. Sometimes, however when prolactin is released, deep sadness follows. If you are masturbating because you feel depressed, releasing prolactin often can contribute to depression. 

Self love is the cornerstone for healing. Prayer, a Divine connection, meditation and recognizing that you are helpless to recover on your own. Addictions can ruin lives. They cause us to feel unworthy, and worthless. You have value. Don't ever forget it. You can get help. It begins with you stopping today. Recognizing that the compulsion is destroying your life, your health and your vigor. Excessive masturbation can cause depression. Pornography addiction can also cause depression, because you are disconnected from yourself and those around you.

What Can You Do Now?

1. Abstain from masurbation. Take each day one at a time. Find something else to do instead.
2. Get out and take a walk.
3. Write in a journal.
4. Keep yourself busy. 
5. Take up a hobby.
6. Do things that take your mind off obsessing about sex.
7. Pray. Ask for help with your issue. Saying you are helpless over your obsession allows spirit and other angelic assistance. Until you ask for help, the light forces can't do much to assist you. Prayer is powerful. It may seem fruitless at first, but don't give up. Have faith it will help you.
8. Hire a coach or healer that understands addiction. You can't do this alone. Prayer, a healer, 12 step program or a coach can help you. Having the spiritual aspect in your coaching or healing program will help you tremendously.
9. Meditate. 

Shifting into sex and passion was a natural transition for me; someone who loves sex and who has healed addictions and codependency. In my book, Orgasm For Life I share what I

learned on my journey from sexual dysfunction to wholeness. I hope you'll read my books and discover your inner soul's purpose on your road to healing. And connect with me for deeper work, if you feel called.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters now empowers women and men through her love and passion coaching. Using six modalities, the experience is different for every person. A lack of Self love is the source of all addictions.

Loving the self is the greatest gift you can give yourself and the world. You can e-mail Jennifer here for your personal 30 minute FREE discovery session to find out if her work is a good fit for you. 

The Poison of Pornography

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

The following article is an excerpt from my book, Orgasm For Life. Readers please note, that I work with men and women with addictions. Pornography has been scientifically proven to be an assault to our senses, like watching beheading on You Tube. It negatively affects our psyches.

Chapter TwelveFear and Pornography

Pornography tells lies about women. But pornography tells the truth about men. —John Stoltenberg

Pornography works on the primal level. Men are visual, women are emotional, relationship based. Women are turned on in their minds rather than through their eyes. We all have our unconscious issues. Men are turned on seeing a beautiful body, women are often turned on by men with money. Women from a primal level want to feel secure, to raise their family.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, fear plays a large part in women’s dryness, lack of arousal, or in overall pleasure. Generations of women have been in fear of rape, molestation, assault, and disrespect. Men are motivated by sex, while women have been in fear of men for thousands of years. Laying fears to rest is what happens in a

committed, loving relationship. The fear of pregnancy is often one of the biggest issues faced by young women today. It permeates our lives from the onset of menstruation through menopause. Men rarely understand how debilitating that fear can be. Abortions are not an option as protection, yet, even with protection many of us have gotten pregnant. 

Pregnancy changes our lives, forever. When faced with being a single parent at an early age, abortion looks like the way. Birth control is not perfect. Using it every time makes it more successful. Even when birth control is used, pregnancy can still result. It is something I had to face as a single woman. My 18-year old daughter is the result. It is not a simple decision. The energy of it remains with you in your cells. It needs to be forgiven or cleared.

One-Night Stands

One-night stands increase fears, limiting beliefs about the self, and insecurities for some women. Pornography has done more to damage women’s issues with men, than it has to enhance it. We fear we won’t be sexy enough, won’t perform the way the porn

stars do and will disappoint you in the bedroom. We can’t compete with women who have breast implants and twenty-two inch waists. We are not porn stars. The standard of beauty and sexiness of porn stars creates one real women can’t possibly live up to.

Women long to be accepted, revered, and loved. Porn has ruined our marriages and is ruining society. 56% of all divorces are citing obsessive use of pornography with one party. Pornography has dehumanized women. It has caused men to view women as objects. It detaches their personalities from their bodies, for their personal gratification, rather than as people who have feelings. There is a level of brutality in porn that teaches men that it’s okay to be brutal with women, or cast them aside after they have come.

Porn creates boredom with men’s own wives, says Rabbi Shmuley. In an interview with Oprah, Rabbi Shumley explained that pornography portrays women as one of four degrading archetypes: “They're either a ‘greedy gold-digger,’ ‘mindless playmate,’ ‘insatiable nymphomaniac,’ or ‘one who craves pain,’” Rabbi Shmuley says. This creates the most insidious view of women, causing men to detach and not form meaningful or romantic relationships with them.

Depression Linked to Porn

Men studied in a recent pornography survey were found to have more sick days and more depression than those who did not view porn at all. Porn creates loners, who shun social interaction, which

is needed for psychological health. Humans need social interaction to survive. Remember the study about the infant children who died without human touch?

Pornography, like any other addiction, can harm all that is good in your life. It hurts children, causes teens to view women in a way nature never intended for, and creates a society that is brutal rather than loving. A Norwegian study of 400 couples found that couples who watched porn together had the most satisfying sex lives with better relationships than when only one person watched porn. There are no secrets in the Universe; people will eventually find out. If you do it, your kids will, too.

Children Watching Porn

Children are having their first encounter with porn as early as age eleven. What are we creating in our world? Teens are watching porn, then having their first sexual experience using porn as a guide. Many boys are growing up without a solid role model at home. Fathers fail to teach their sons how to respect, then make love to a woman. Boys are using porn as a teaching tool.

 

Teenage boys today view girls as objects. They take their virginity without regard for what she is giving to him, or how it changes her life. Before the boy has kissed her good-bye he is lining up the next one. There is no remorse, no conscience, no regret, no feeling. Porn is creating teens so disconnected from themselves, and others. Their self-esteem is low and depression rampant. Suicide in males between the ages of 10 and 24 is the third leading cause of death in the US.

Porn is a waste of your sexual energy that could be focused in loving ways on your spouse. Watching pornography is like gambling. The first time you try it, you find it fun, and alluring. When you go back the second time, you are hooked. It becomes an addiction. Like any addiction, it can ruin relationships and families. Pornography is based on fiction; it is not real. It is like spending your entire day in front of vampire shows on television, then expecting everyone to be a vampire in your world.

Most people have had indiscriminate sex at some point. Today, my belief is that sexual acrobatics with strangers is on the decline where relationships based on love, authenticity, trust, and honesty are on the rise. Women are becoming powerfully successful in all areas of their lives. As women become more powerful, they are more in charge of their sex lives, not in fear of being alone. Looking for someone because you are afraid of being alone is the worst reason to date or become intimate. What you will find is someone who will disrespect you, then further your misery, rather than the other way around.

Buy Her Book Here

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a sex coach and educator. Her focus is on loving yourself fearlessly. When we love and accept ourselves unconditionally, our relationships become easier. We attract healthier situations. If you have a sexual addiction, or porn addiction she can help you with compassion. To work with her or visit her website the links below. E-mail Jennifer to set up a discovery session or ask questions here: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

 http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com