Less Endowed - Less Confidence?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

As a young woman we look at ourselves and our breasts and wonder, when will mine grow? Will I ever look like _______ (fill in the blank). Many men have issues with lack of confidence from being smaller in the package department than their peers. Breast implants, penile implants, facial surgery is a multi-billion dollar industry for a reason. People don't love what they have and don't love who they are. The issue of confidence still remains however, because it is an internal issue, rather than external one. Focusing on the inner rather than the outer is the way to remedy this issue. Hiring a coach can help you move beyond not feeling enough. You are already enough, you just aren't aware that you are.

If your confidence is based on lack of something you are barking up the wrong tree. I dated a man who was a little smaller than average. I did not have an issue with this, but he did. At least once a day he would say to me that he had to make up for his size by performing better than average - or being a better lover. He was creating a mountain out of his mole hill. He made his issue bigger by focusing on it. A size issue is usually related to inner self worth, rather than a physical issue.

Have you ever noticed that when people have their stomach stapled they have a different issue crop up somewhere else. This is because they were focusing on a physical issue when the REAL problem was how they felt about themselves. Often the plastic surgery is done - and the low self esteem remains.

The key here is how we feel about ourselves. If you keep looking at your penis and saying, "It is too small!" you are perpetuating a myth. Most women are happy with the size of their men. It is the men who are not happy with their size. 

Focusing on something repeatedly, that you feel is lacking creates low self esteem. Instead focus on being enough. What most people don't realize is that when we feel we are not good enough, not worthy or not big enough creates a blocked root and second chakra. Our root chakra is the source of our security they way we are seen out in the world. The second chakra is all about manifesting. If these two chakras are blocked you will create or already have also created issues with money.

The root chakra is associated with the color red and is located in between the perineum and the base of the penis in men. In women between the anus and the vagina. The second chakra is located in between the pubis bone and the navel. For women it is associated with ovaries, reproduction and menstrual cycles. If your second chakra is blocked you may have issues with cramping and money. 

Here are some ways to create confidence and raise your self esteem:

1. Repeat this mantra upon awakening and just before going to sleep and any other time your mind is in neutral:   I AM WORTHY. 
2. Focus on being enough. I AM ENOUGH! 
3. Love what you have. I LOVE MY BODY! Stand in front of the mirror every day, look into your own eyes and tell yourself - I LOVE MY BODY!
4. Join me Wednesday night for my podcast to clear the first two chakras. (605) 475-4000 PIN 939401# at 5:00 PM PST and 8:00 PM EST. Its FREE!

Remember if you don't mention it most women will not even think it is too small. However, if you focus on it, speak about it you are creating an issue. This issue is one of self esteem. It is an internal rather than an external issue. When you feel good about yourself, it will cease to be an issue. Hire a coach to help you work through your issues of worthiness. Instead become great at oral sex. Learn how to bring a woman to orgasm manually - rather than through intercourse. Most women don't orgasm through the vagina - learn to do things differently. There are ways to be a better lover. Read my book: Orgasm For Life ..... The No Holds-Barred Guide To Creating BLISS  out on May 20th, 2014.

Jennifer is a certified Life, Sex and Empowerment Coach. She is the author of the forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life: The No Holds-Barred Guide For Creating BLISS.  JenniferElizabethMasters.com

Not Having Sex?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Sex is Wonderful. It is a healthy part of our lives. The desire for sex is like thirst, a natural urge. There is nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. It is not bad or wrong. What if you are alone?

We are mind-body-spirit beings. Living a holistic life means that we are fully integrated, all parts working for the good of the whole. All chakras spinning and open. The colors of the chakras are clear and bright. Nothing is closed or shut down. In a perfect world, right?

What happens when we live alone, when we are between relationships? What happens to our second chakra that governs our sexuality? When we stop having sex our second chakra becomes muddy. It becomes weak. We begin to lack confidence, we can become numb and unable to feel our emotions and the feelings of others. I have heard many women say that they feel closer to God when they are not having sex. (Keep reading this could not be further from the truth.)

The 2nd Chakra

The second chakra is the Seat of our Desire. It is located approximately two inches above the pubic bone and below the navel. The color of this chakra is pure orange when healthy. The chakras give our body and abundance of energy. Like a bank gives an abundance of money.When the chakras are weak we have the opposite of a healthy chakra. We will have difficulty keeping money, trusting and getting our ideas out into the world.  The 2nd chakra governs the following:

1. Integration
2. Ability to feel our emotions and the feelings of others
3. Desire
4. Confidence
5. Creativity
6. Ability to get your ideas out into the world
7. Trust
8. Reproductive issues
9. Sexuality - hormones

If you don't use it, you lose it!

If you are having hormonal issues, the best way to regulate them is through sex. Yes, having more sex will raise your hormone levels. Extended sexual pleasure with non-ejaculatory sex (for men) will raise your hormone levels. Like anything else, you have to get revved up to begin. Getting the pendulum to swing when it is stopped takes some energy. Just because you are alone, does not mean you can't experience sexual pleasure. Experiment with what feels good for you. Get to know your own body. Then you will be more able to tell your partner (when you have one) what feels good for you. Self pleasuring is beneficial for the same reasons having sex with a partner is. Here are some of the benefits of sex.

1. Increases cardiovascular health
2. Reduces pain
3. Extends life span
4. Hormones are released through sex: serotonin, oxytocin, phenylethylamine, endorphins and dopamine. 
5. Anti-aging hormones are released through sex
6. Cell renewal is encouraged
7. You feel good (see feel good hormones above)
8. Its is pleasurable
9. It is the closest to God you can be at the moment of orgasm the  prana brushes the central channel giving you a glimpse of enlightenment.
10. Sex reduces stress, helps you relax and sleep better.

What is not to like?

Jennifer is a sex educator and life, love and relationship coach. To book a session with her click this link to e-mail her.