Showing posts with label fetishes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fetishes. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Why You Need To Know The History Behind Fetishes and Fantasies

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters


Fantasy or Fetish?

I recently had a question from a reader about fetishes. "Does everyone have a fetish? What is considered normal?" Whatever you and your partner agree to and feel comfortable with is normal for you. 


Believe it or not but many people have fantasies or fetishes. If you are a history buff, you will love this! History details fetishes as early as the 1200's and strange S&M as early as the first Century BCE. 


Humans have been having fantasies and strange sexual experiences since the beginning of time. We are sexual beings. Men's brains have a larger portion dedicated to sex than women. It makes sense that men think about sex every 52 seconds.


Thinking outside the box and incorporating excitement into your experiences can make sex more interesting. I caution you to keep sex safe for both parties.


Documented historical references to fetishism and strange sex play on cave walls sex is a part of our world. Ignoring history doesn't make these things go away. Whether you engage in these events or not, I am providing this historical data in the hopes of educating and saving lives.


A sexual fetish is an obsession with something that doesn't usually have a sexual association attached. You might enjoy seeing your partner in sexy lingerie or red high heels, but that doesn't mean you have a fetish. 

Sexual fetishes are more common in men and can be anything from a woman's underarm to an object. Those with a fetish might hold, rub or taste the object while masturbating or all the way to full-on massage with the object.  Some men are obsessed with a woman's feet, toes or lingerie. Women might be turned on by tattoos. Having sex with anyone sans ink would be a turnoff for them.

Fantasy is something that you think about while you are having sex that keeps you aroused during your encounter. Fantasies are often those erotic thoughts that turn you on, but that you don't necessarily have to happen in reality. 

Many people are fearful of telling their partner about their fantasies because they may seem strange or weird. For example, a threesome might get you hot, but the thought of engaging in one, in reality, terrifies you. You may fantasize about someone watching you have sex, but be very shy about being seen naked in front of another person. Revealing your fantasies and desires to your partner may heighten arousal while deepening intimacy at the same time.


Practice Safe Sex


1. Feet 1220 AD. A foot fetishist loves the smell, taste, and texture of feet and would hold, suck, touch, smell or use them to achieve an orgasm. They might also love to smell shoes and anything your feet have been in. It is believed that foot fetishes began due to a fear of getting the plague from sex around 1220 AD. A foot became a safe-second! 

Admiring another's shoes doesn't mean you have a foot fetish. An A-list of celebrities has copped a feel or two of a delicious and tantalizing foot from F. Scott Fitzgerald, author of The Great Gatsby, Thomas Hardy,  Cassonova, and even Jay Leno!

2. Sadomasochism 470 BC. Though named after the Marquis de Sade, he didn't invent it. Characterized by sexual role play of dominance and submission, sadomasochism has been revived and brought to the forefront of our minds with movies like 50 Shades of Gray. Those that are professionals opt for rooms or dungeons where the sex play occurs. Rather than being about penetration it is more about humiliation and domination which is said to stimulate arousal in the submissive. 


An element of dominance can be a part of titillating and exciting even those who aren't into pain and pleasure. A safe word that is respected by both parties stops sex play that becomes too scary, painful or over-the-top.


The Etruscans were noted for guy-on-guy sex and threesomes including flogging five centuries before the new testament. The Tomb of the Floggings was the earliest depiction of S&M known to man. Wife sharing was also common place. Thinking that our civilization is falling apart with that latest sexual fantasy or porn? Think again! Strange sex acts have been a part of civilization since the beginning of time.

2. Voyeurism.  Watching another person or couple coupling, kissing and having sex is a must for a voyeur. A fantasy for many voyeurisms are depicted in the movie, Eyes Wide Shut, with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Voyeurism was first recognized and chronicled by the Etruscans, where nothing was off limits.

3. Autoerotic Asphyxiation 17th Century. I include this as it is a dangerous dance with death taking the lives of some 500 to 1,000 young men (and a few females) each year who accidentally die from strangling while masturbating. The family often covers up the nature of their child's death. Occurring as early as age 9, all the way to 77 years old, finding your loved one's in this way is horrible for family members or hotel staff. 


Parents of teens need to know about scarfing.


Autoerotic asphyxiation deaths are accidental but ruled as suicide - always by hanging with a knife found near the body. People don't recognize how easy it is to loose consciousness by hanging. The most famous are the Kung Fu star Keith Carradine, Robin Williams is thought to have died similarly. The circumstances surrounding Robin's death were very similar to Keith Carradine's. He was in a seated position, like Keith, with a knife nearby. It is understandable that to preserve his memory that his family would not want this to be public knowledge. 


Covering up the statistics does not make this go away. 

Historical evidence of hanged men in the 1600's dying with erections, even ejaculating at the time of death began a fascination with autoerotic asphyxiation. It was used as a treatment for erectile dysfunction. And we think our medical doctors are strange!

Warning this George Carlin video contains explicit language.



4. Weird Places. Having sex in places other than the bedroom is a fantasy for many. Cars, closets, movie theaters, restaurants, airplane bathrooms, can heighten the excitement due to the fear of being caught. A 68-year old woman and her 49-year old boyfriend were caught having sex in the public square of her retirement community! Where might you ask? Florida! A UK couple was thrown out of their local MacDonald's for stripping down in the bathroom and making some strange noises for all to hear.



5. Latex. Whether you are a fashionista or not, latex is a big turn on for men and woman alike. Remember Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Angelina Jolie? From latex bras to boots, this is a fetish that is guaranteed to turn on your man. 



6. Strange Porn 16th Century. From furry porn - dressing up in animal costumes to Japanese octopus porn, there seems to be no end to the weird taste for some. Though the tentacle porn appears to have been a recent addition, it's origins are Japanese late 1500s. The story of The Fisherman's Wife is not the earliest; interestingly early dildos were found in fishing villages where men were away for extended periods. Sorry, fish porn just doesn't do it for me! EWW!


7. Sex Toys 4,000 BC. A recent find in Sweden turned up an ancient Stone Age dildo. 4,000 - 6,000 BC people were thinking about sex too! Though the archaeologists hadn't determined exactly what this hand-carved phallic object was used for, we can only imagine. To think 40,000 years ago people were spending their days carving these things. I wonder how long they had to wait? This dildo gives new meaning to the word hard-on!


8. Bondage. Bondage ranges from being tied up like a Christmas turkey to blindfolding your partner. Being held down, unable to use your arms can excite even the most mundane of pleasure seekers.

Sex is a part of life and has been since the dawn of creation. Having sex in strange and different ways can excite and shift a hum-drum sex life. Even reading erotica together can be a turn-on. I hope you have enjoyed your history lesson today. I would love to hear from you. Did you find it interesting, funny, weird, exciting, or insightful? Join me on FaceBook and comment on the blog.

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Jennifer is a healer, sex, love, and happiness coach that clears limiting beliefs, blocks, and self-sabotage from the past so that you can have the life, love, and happiness you desire. A healed healer herself, she helps others overcome anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, shame, insecurities that block you from having healthy relationships and happiness. 



Find Jennifer's books on Amazon.com

Jennifer is currently working on her third book: 

Happy Here, Happy Anywhere:

The Step-By-Step Guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without A Prescription!


© Jennifer Elizabeth Masters    All Rights Reserved. 


No part may be copied or reproduced in any form without the author's written consent.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

50 Shades of Grey Lessons

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Whether you are into Dominant-submissive relationships or kinky sex, or not, watching or reading 50 Shades of Grey will certainly excite you or give you a plethora of ideas for sex play adding greater excitement in your boudoir. It may, however, lower your vibration and make you feel very sad. It certainly did that to me. The musical score was fabulous. Here is some music to play to accompany your reading. 



I do not condone physical violence against men or women. This was not about love. 50 Shades of Grey is about sadomasochism and sex. Christian Grey is unable to have a relationship, as he puts it..... "fucks." There is no connection, no love, he is incapable.

In a future post, I will explore the dominant-submissive roles. For the purposes of this article, the focus in on the lessons learned from this movie.

50 Shades of Grey has become a hit for several reasons. Sex begins in the mind. Women are the ones predominantly, reading this book. Men, if you don't see why, I have compiled the lessons to be learned from this rise (forgive the pun) of interest in eroticism. Both parties can benefit from taking turns being more aggressive in bed.  It does not mean you have to haul out whips, rope or tape. Although a silk tie might come in handy on occasion.


50 Shades is alluring for women that fantasize about the rich man who can take her in fast cars, on helicopter and planes, buy lavish gifts and whisk them away from their dull lives. Christian Grey does all of these things. Anastasia is an innocent, virginal college grad who has never experienced sex at all. There is something for everyone. A virginal college grad is a rarity these days. Many men fantasize about taking a girl's virginity. This movie will certainly give you some ideas for making use of your old silk ties! Boy scouts can utilize their knot skills.

Anticipation

The art of teasing the mind has been an exciting adjunct to sex play for centuries. When we allow sexual tension to build excitement increases, making orgasms stronger and pleasure-filled. The longer the anticipation, the more incredible the sex. Grey has rules that set the tone for what is to come. He lets Anastasia know she can't touch him, she can't make noise, and she has to lie still. What happens when you tell someone they can't do something? They want to do it all the more. Ask any teenager.  Grey shows her a silk tie, asking, "Do you know what this is for?" Even showing Anastasia the tie conjures up visions in her mind adding to her excitement and deepening her pleasure. When Grey begins to disrobe her, he does so slowly, deliberately. He is in control. She starts to trust him, opening up to him. 

Kissing 

Spending time kissing, rather than jumping to the old in-out, allows time to bring her sexual energy up. Women are slow to warm up to the idea of sex. They need to be turned on in their mind first. A kiss is exciting on its own. When Grey kisses Anastasia, it is passionate, sensual leaving her breathless, wanting more. Instead of taking her right then, he walks away leaving her stunned, thinking about his lips, his body, what it would feel like to have him on top of her. She is anticipating what is to come. You can use this technique with your partner in the morning leaving them to conjure up fantasies about your hard body pressing up against her (or him) all day long. 

Every time Anastasia thinks about sex with Grey, she bites her lip. There are over 25 instances of her biting her lip in this movie, and 20 minutes of sex.


If you have never worn a blindfold during sex, you are missing out on an amazing sensory experience. With eyes restrained, your sense of touch and smell become heightened. When your other senses 
become stronger excitement builds. Sex is a sensory experience. Heighten your other senses and try a blindfold. Not knowing what is about to happen adds to the anticipation. Ask any blind person about their heightened senses. 


 The Spoken Word

Our voices have the power to vibrate parts of our bodies. Our voice needs to be part of the sexual experience. Many people don't speak during sex. Telling your partner what you are about to do to them, as you are doing it allows them the freedom to let go, enjoy the pleasure of what is happening in the moment. Voice
brings someone back into their body when they tend to drift and disconnect. Many of us have had sexual trauma and need to hear a reassuring voice keep us present, in the moment, rather than avoiding what is occurring. "You're so beautiful! You are amazing! You taste so good. I love the way you smell." All those phrases will excite the mind, engage them to stay with you, rather than drift off. Staying present is one of the fastest ways to help someone to orgasm that has challenges doing so.

Get Creative

We have fingers, nails, a tongue, lips, hair we can use to tickle, tantalize and excite our partners. Try different forms of touch and pressure. Using a feather to tease and excite adds a different dimension and feeling to the sexual experience. Use your imagination. Feed your partner juicy fruit when they are blindfolded. Use an ice cube in your mouth while going down on them. Read Orgasm For Life, for other exciting and sensual experiences.


This Butts For You!

Americans are more open to experience violence than nudity, which is evident in our movie censorship. In Europe, a bare breast or behind is commonplace and natural. 50 Shades has plenty of
nudity for both sexes to enjoy. Dakota Johnson has a lovely youthful body. Her counterpart is just as lovely to look at. 

Overall, this movie was okay. It is dark, kinky and as Christian Grey says so eloquently, "50 Shades of fucked up!" He cannot connect on a heart level. He cannot engage enough to have a real relationship. Their relationship is twisted and purely sexual. If you are looking for some ideas in the bedroom, there are other sexy movies for those who are not into the S&M model.

Erotica

 Lady Chatterley's Lover was the first erotica I ever read. Written by D.H. Lawrence in 1928, you would be surprised at how titillating it can be. Read erotica together in bed, and watch what unfolds.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach. She empowers women to become happy with themselves and, therefore, happier in life, their relationships and guides them towards their purpose. The cornerstone of her work is healing addictions and codependency. Jennifer empowers women to nurture themselves, stepping into their personal power so that they are more emotionally available and present in their lives. From anxiety to depression, worry, fears or insomnia, Jennifer has done this healing work herself for over 30 years and has developed an integrative healing that shifts you gently without changing who you are. She has helped couples heal long-term marriages, others find their love, and still others live a happier more purpose-filled life.

Jennifer's radio show, All You Need Is Love, airs on BBM Global in July, 2015. Your questions will be answered on air. If you are committed to making positive changes in your life, e-mail Jennifer for a free discovery session to see if her work is a good fit for you.



Saturday, April 18, 2015

Generosity And Compassion For Sex Addicts

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

The following information is not for the feint of heart. If you know someone is a sex addict there are reasons for this. I do my
best to write articles that are uplifting. Once you get to the end, of this article, there are answers, help and hopefully, you will have more compassion and understanding for yourself or your loved one. There is light and help at the end of the tunnel. 


The reason I do what I do, is because of what I have experienced. This was the path I chose. Each of us has a life path. Along our path we discover that without a purpose we feel lost, ungrounded and unfulfilled. Believe it or not, we chose our life before we incarnated. Some of what we experienced was extremely painful. There was a reason for the pain. We called it forth so that we would learn, continue to search,
excavate, evolve and grow. Those of us that have experienced the intense pain, grief and shame of sexual molestation have endured the worst type of suffering known to man. Our souls were fractured as a result. A rift between truth and fantasy begins when sexual molestation occurs. We have to make up stories about our molestors to make living with them palatable. To be able to endure life at all we often appear to be schizophrenic, bipolar, have personality disorders or have severe depression most of our lives.

If you have a sex addiction or know someone that does, they need more love not less. They need more understanding not less. They need compassion, love and healing. There is a reason for the pain. Yes, they have intense pain. The reason is that most sex addicts are this way because way back in their childhood they were molested by the very people that they trusted. Has horrible as it may be to imagine, molestation often occus before a child turns three years of age. When trauma occurs before the age of 3, they usually won't remember the incident.  The patterns are imprinted without any memory. The soul fracture happens without the mental memory.


Even as I type these words waves of energy are hitting me. This has been secret information up until now. We have not been privy to this understanding before now. There is a direct connection between our search for love through sex and sexual molestation.

Sexual molestation causes sex addiction. 

Why?

When children are molested by those that they trust, a crack occurs in the soul and the emotional psyche. A false belief is set up because of this pattern. First of all, we become victims. Our parents most often are the perpetrators, but there could be others. Sadly, in some families, molestation of children goes back 7 generations or more. It could be a trusted grandparent, clergyman or babysitter. For many, of us molestation happens with more than one person in our lives. It is as if a neon sign appears on our forehead. This message or signal goes out into the universe and pedophiles recognize the signal. They are attracted to it. Which is why many victims of sexual molestation are often molested by more than one person. They/we often go on into our adult lives and continue to attract others who will victimize us. Some people molest others. When you understand the patterns that occur, it helps you to understand how our relationships suffer as a result of this atrocity.

Our Molestors

Those who molested us, were most likely victims of molestation. This pattern often stays in familes for many generations until one person stops it. Which is what I did for my family. Unfortunately, my own personal denial of who it was that did the molesting of me originally, caused my own children to be put in harms way
unbeknownst to me, until recently. No one wants their children to be molested. We have to be diligent, alert without being hypervigilant. Child molestors are fractured souls. They are in deep pain and suffer greatly. Some go to their graves with this in their hearts and may even be afraid to die. It is very sad.

Patterns:

  • Trust equals pain
  • People who love you hurt you
  • Suffering sorrow, grief, shame, humiliation can also equal sex. 
  • Love equals sex. 
  • Sex means love
  • Love equals betrayal of our trust
Trapped Emotions

I began doing healing work because I was in so much personal pain into my 30's. My life was filled with misery, anxiety, low self esteem depression, physical pain until I healed. I could not receive love because I had a block to it. My heart was closed and protected as a result of the fracture in my soul. It is why I became a hypnotherapist, energy healer and life coach. Sex can heal. Sex can be therapeutic. 

I knew there were thousands more out there like me that needed what I learned from my own journey. People that could not do this alone. Even after clearing myself thousands of times having acupuncture, chiropractic, hypnotherapy, NLP, and many other healing methods used to heal myself, I found that there was a missing piece. 

Feeling Numb?

Emotions become trapped in our cells, even within our genitals that can cause us to feel numb. Many women won't experience the complete bliss and release of a sexual encounter until the energy is cleared and released. Many people feel emotionally dead or even numb. 

My first book, Odyssey Victim to Victory was written to help others see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It is the story of my personal journey, realization and healing that totally changed my life and took me out of the dark. Sexual abuse and victimhood no longer define me. This book is a beginning of many people's journey into happiness, out of depression and victimization. For me, I was non-orgasmic into my fifties until I totally and completely healed the energy trapped in my physical body through Tantra. (This Tantric healing is detailed in my second book, Orgasm For Life.)

What Are The Signs Of Trapped Emotions?

  • sex addiction
  • rage
  • irrational emotions
  • emotional reactivity
  • being shut down emotionally
  • depression
  • sadness
  • anxiety
  • worry
  • low self esteem
  • betrayal in relationships
  • Obesessive Compulsive behaviors
  • control
  • fears
  • lying
  • cheating
  • unable to connect with another deeply
  • unable to orgasm
  • serial monogamy
  • obsessive masturbation
  • pornography addiction
  • attract partners who betray you
  • attract partners who victimize you
  • hate sex
  • can't get enough of sex
  • have a thing for anal sex - either really hate it, or can't get enough of it
There are others, but you get the idea.
There is Help

As a result of recent events in my own life I am offering a very special series. This is specifically created to heal sexual molestation and sexual addiction. It is a series of energy clearings, emotional release work and spiritual reparenting for people who have these issues. Currently I am doing a series of three sessions for $450. The total must be paid prior to the first session and only available through May 31st, 2015. I use 5 different healing methods for this release work. None of which is spell work. I work only with Divine energy. 

SOS Healing Package

Each session builds upon the next. This series of three will only be availble through the end of May at this price. This offer is only good for people who are committed to doing the work necessary to heal these issues. I walk you through the process. Most of it is gentle and easy energy release work. The worst thing you might experience is the release of tears and letting go of the sorrow and grief. Your inner child is also healed. You will feel happier and more hopeful about life and relationships afterward. 


SOS Healing Package


Yes, there was a reason for this article post today. I have the utmost compassion and respect for each of you on your journey. Please know that this work does not involve on screen masturbation, it is not a date with me. It is healing work only. Please know that I am professional, compassionate, understanding and have been working on these issues for a very long time.
You can e-mail me here with your questions.