3 Reasons New Isn't Always Better

by Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

The latest I-Phone, a flashy new computer, or a new (partner) or vacuum may seem exciting at first till we get them home and recognize that what we had previously was so much better than the new one we just landed. Today I share my story of thinking new would be better and what I discovered about human nature and myself. 

My experience is about a vacuum cleaner. It could just as easily have been about a cell phone or a man. The similarities and lessons are the same. How can a vacuum cleaner that doesn't suck be like a man, you ask? Listen and learn!

I have a house full of rescued animals. I love my animals, but they shed. My Hoover vacuum packed it in and just stopped sucking. I cleaned all my filters and decided arbitrarily and without research, it was easier just to buy another. I could have taken it to a repair shop. I could have attempted to fix it myself. I made the judgment that it would cost almost as much as a new one. Listening to my daughter's advice, I went to Target and made a selection, even though I could have gotten something better at Costco.

Honestly, I didn't do my usual research, "It was just a vacuum," I thought. The first use of my new vacuum got me excited. Instead of a vacuum that didn't suck, I had one that did! I was ecstatic! After one use, however, I recognized that the system to clean out all the pet hair, dirt and dander was disgusting.

Instead of having a central area that could be easily removed and dumped with ease, the new vacuum had several areas that needed to be cleaned out by hand. It was impossible to empty the collection area without getting dirty and dumping debris all over the vacuum and floor.

My Discovery About My Latest Purchase

1. It wasn't as good as my previous one. After closer inspection what I thought was so wonderful, wasn't. I was hugely disappointed. In fact, I wished I could go to the dump and retrieve my old vacuum. I felt regret that I had given up so soon on my old vacuum and didn't try to fix it. Now I had to put up with a lesser quality system that made me angry every time I had to empty it, which was every use.
2. There was a cost I hadn't anticipated. I paid more money for this new vacuum. Every time I used it, I said to myself, "I hate this thing!" I felt bad every time I realized that I didn't recognize what I had previously. Why oh why didn't I work on the old one and save myself the time and aggravation.
3. I was committed to the new one. I spent my money and had used the vacuum. I couldn't return it. I couldn't get my old vacuum back. I had to stay with my present vacuum until it died, or waste money and buy a second one. 

How often do we give up what we have thinking a newer model would be better and find out that we made a huge mistake. Just because something is new, doesn't make it better. In fact, sometimes knowing the one we have will allow us to work around the shortcomings in other ways.

Then The Worst Happened...

My new vacuum crapped out on me. It stopped doing what vacuums do best - suck. I returned from a two-week vacation to find my house filled with cat hair and a vacuum that wasn't working. At first, I thought, I will have to buy a new one. My next thought was, "I can't fix this!" When I realized that I was saying NO to The Universe and opportunities, I changed my thoughts into a YES! In fact, a "Hell YES!" 

I Asked Questions

I knew I tossed my previous vacuum aside prematurely. I learned from this lesson. I asked if there was a way I could learn how to fix my vacuum. Ah! The Internet! I went to my trusty computer and found a site for the Do-it-yourselfers. I read enough to feel confident and got out my tools. I opened up the back of the vacuum and unscrewed the panel and found where the hose was clogged to capacity. I used a hangar to pull out the horrible stuff and voila! My vacuum worked better than it had in months.

This vacuum cleaner taught me some very valuable lessons. These lessons can be applied to dating, marriage and relationships. How often do we give up on a relationship because we don't know how to fix it? How often do we avoid talking because we have blocked emotions and reactivity getting in the way of smooth communication and understanding?

Lessons Learned

1.  I discovered positive traits in my new vacuum, I didn't previously notice when I stopped being so negative and judgemental about it. There were washable filters which I didn't have to replace monthly that saved me money. When they were clean my vacuum operated exceptionally well.
2. Once I learned how, it got easier to take care of my new vacuum, I found it infinitely easier going forward. Yes, I still had to get my hands dirty each time I emptied the receptacle, but it worked so well when I did. 
3. My judgment made things worse. Once I got out of my own way and realized I can do this, we worked together to make things work. I kept the vacuum filters cleaned and emptied and it began to suck like it was meant to!
4. New isn't the answer. Instead, work on what you've got, getting a new anything isn't necessarily the answer when the issue is within. 

If your relationship sucks, or doesn't suck, isn't it time to get the help you need to keep it chugging along at its highest and best? If you are in a space of ready to take your relationship to the dump, maybe you need to set up a FREE discovery session of 40 minutes where I impart valuable tools for you to begin using right now and find out if my work is a good fit for you. 


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Is There Only One Love?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

All over the Internet we see workshops "Calling In THE ONE," women looking for their Twin Flame, or ONE TRUE LOVE, or soul mate. Have you ever asked the question, "Is there only ONE person out there for me?" 

If The Universe is abundant and infinite possibilities are possible, does this mean that when it comes to love that there is only one possible person?

I am here to tell you the answer is that when you open up to love, be loving to yourself unconditionally, then the world is your oyster. There are many people that you can love and that will love you also. The key is that most people neither accept themselves completely nor do they love themselves. 

Case in point: twice this week I had interactions with professional coaches who are guiding others. Both of these coaches have serious issues with self-love. If the blind are leading the blind, how can we find love?

LOVE

When we love and accept ourselves, we no longer strive to be perfect. 

We see ourselves as already having arrived. We are already perfect, whole and complete. Stepping into our personal power happens when we love and accept ourselves unconditionally. When we do, we become a magnificent magnet that draws wonderful experiences and success to us in all areas of our life. 

When our focus is looking for love, we are emphasising lack - the fact that we don't have love. All we bring to ourselves is our focus, not having love. Love continues to elude us.

Most people look at things upside down. They feel lonely, lost and unhappy. Therefore they look outside of themselves for someone to complete them and MAKE THEM HAPPY! You gotta love this, but it is backwards. 

As long as you look outside for someone to give you love, you are missing the bus. The train has left the building without you on it. You are the love. You have to turn it all around and make yourself the focus. Loving someone else puts the focus on the outside. We have to get to know and love ourselves. We need to have a soft focus with ourselves, loving all parts of the self as we are. Because some of us never change. If you keep striving to be perfect, you will never, ever love yourself completely.


If you are looking for The Perfect Love to be without issues of their own, you will never find love. 

Are You One Of These? 

Do you hold a baseball bat in one hand and a magnifying glass in the other? Are you ready to beat yourself up for the slightest imperfection or error? 

Do you second guess yourself and your choices all the time? Do you look at your past and feel that all you have done is make mistake after mistake? Repeating the same relationships again and again - just with different faces?

If so, you neither love nor accept yourself. Unconditional love means that you love all of you, even those flaws and imperfections. You may not be at your perfect weight now, but that does not mean that you should hate your body. Instead, you love your body. Looking at your naked reflection in the  mirror with eyes of love. I love you naked person. I love you just as you are. 

How Can You Love And Accept The Flaws

The need to be perfect is a flaw. We have been programmed by society, parental units, information in books, educational systems, and business associations to strive for perfection. Yet, how could our creator who is perfect, create anything less than perfect? It is not possible. When you begin to look at yourself as already enough, already having everything you need within yourself, there is nothing to be done. 

Acceptance is all about loving ourselves and others the way we are, without having to have the perfect job, be the perfect weight or have the perfect love. 

The key is our thinking. How we think about ourselves is what we believe to be true. If you think you are perfect, you will begin to feel already enough, already perfect. 

I Used To Feel Broken But Searched For The One Perfect Love

I used to be the cheerleader that was insecure. Although I looked pretty, I didn't feel it. Although I looked fit, I felt I was too heavy. I didn't feel smart. I had teachers who told me all the time, "You can do better!" I had some dyslexia and ADD. I felt broken. I had been traumatized in early childhood and felt like a victim. I was always wanting someone to rescue me. School was difficult for me. 

I felt a huge void inside of me. I used to feel I needed a man to make me complete. This void and pain I felt, led me to search for answers. I found them. When I did, I also found myself. I found the joy and passion inside me. My past and the pain of my past no longer defines me. I no longer feel depressed, anxious or lonely. 

Here are some of the tools that I use with my clients to help them feel and recognize that they already are enough. they just need a refresher course.

1. Spend time getting to know you. Write down a list of what you like about you. C'mon, you can come up with 10 descriptors or parts of you that you like. I know you can! Even if it is, "I have great nails." Or, "I have great hair."
2. Write down a list of what you love to do. Most of us spend time getting to know the person we are dating, but don't have a clue about what we like, or what we like to do. 
3. What makes you feel happy? When do you feel happy and fulfilled? It could be being at the beach, or helping an elderly person tie their shoes. Or maybe you love babies. Being around animals or rescuing an abandoned animal.
4. What are you passionate about? What lights your internal fire?
5. If you were given a magic wand that worked, what would you change about you? This may sound backwards; when I talk about unconditional love, but everyone has some place that needs a little more kindness, a little more acceptance, or perhaps a little more attention. The parts of you that you want to change is where I suggest that you give yourself more love and acceptance. 
6. Every day upon awakening and right before sleep use the following mantra to change your thoughts about yourself. Using this mantra daily will focus on the positive, amplifying it and also will access your unconscious mind which you have allowed to run amok. 

I AM WHOLE, PERFECT, STRONG, POWERFUL, HARMONIOUS, LOVING AND HAPPY!

You did not come to this place overnight. It takes perseverance and courage to continue to work on yourself. Most people need to have someone to guide them weekly. This is what I do for my clients. I am a natural catalyst. Being on the phone with me each week causes issues to bubble up to be processed and healed. 

I help you through different modalities to let go of the past, forgive those who you feel have hurt and harmed you and begin to see life for the experience that it is. Life is always and in every way working FOR you. It is the way that we view life, or react to it, that changes our perspective. I help you change your perspective. You don't change, it is your lens that you see life through that does. You are already perfect, whole and complete. I just remind you that you are. 

I have the solution to your problem! I am the solution person for your life issues. In 2012, I became self-actualized and enlightened. What does that mean to you? It means I no longer take things personally, my ego is quiet and I come from a place of complete acceptance and love. I have done over 30 years of inner work, healing, study, and recovery. I love myself completely. 

Become happy with yourself, like me!

I am no longer anxious, depressed, lonely, worried or fearful. I can help you find your path. I am your spiritual pathfinder. I am the guide that you need. If you know someone that can benefit from this post, pass it on. You might be helping more than just one person, in this way.

Certifications:

The National Guild of Hypnotists. 

The Spiritual Response Association, Advanced energy practitioner. Meaning she can clear past patterns, limiting beliefs, negativity, attachments, control issues, etc. 

Coach Training Alliance, a 22-week coaching training that cost thousands of dollars. Jennifer is so much more than a coach. She is a healed healer and catalyst.

Neurolinguistic Programming Practitioner, meaning that she has the ability to eliminate fears, triggers and things that make you feel like you can't cope.

Jennifer is a Georgia Master Gardener. Now she helps you tend the garden of your heart. She is an animal lover, communicator, and channel. She is compassionate, direct and honest. She is one of the most authentic people you will ever meet. Don't ask a question you don't want the answer for, she will tell you the truth. Some people are not ready for the truth. You can connect with Jennifer through her private e-mail here:

JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

Buy her book HERE!

Attracting THE ONE!

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Love. Is is what we all want, search for and many crave. Women miss it when they don't have it. Women wonder each time they have a date with a new man, "Is he THE ONE?" 

Women are notorious for spinning tales in their heads about weddings and engagements as early as the first date. Why is it we spend so much time thinking about it, but can't seem to find it?

What I tell my clients is that when you begin to act as if you already have love, rather than searching and feeling empty you will find it. The way the Universe works is that we must begin to already be grateful for having love in our lives. We must feel full of love within ourselves first. We must give love to ourselves first.

When we begin to love ourselves, as we are, completely and unconditionally rather than waiting till we are absolutely perfect, love will come barreling in and knock us off our feet, when we stop looking.

STOP LOOKING????

Yes. We have to stop looking. When we are looking we are telling the Universe that we have nothing. We have no one. The more we focus on wanting a man or woman, the more we come up empty. We are focusing on the "NOT HAVING." Instead focus on the love you have - with YOU!

We have to spend time nurturing ourselves. We have to love the parts of ourselves that we have been so critical of in the past. 

LET GO OF THE PAST

We have to get rid of old photos of ex-husbands from the mantel, and remove albums and treasures from old lovers. We have to let go of the past. We need to stop talking about who hurt us and how badly. When we keep talking about pain, we will attract another who will hurt us again.

Each event in our lives leads us along the road of life. Recognizing that the events that we have experienced teach us more about ourselves. They are not wrong or bad, just experiences. We need to be grateful for the lesson learned and the gift. Every experience and relationship has taught us more about ourselves. We need to turn our focus inward, rather than focusing on blame of our ex-husband or mate.

FORGIVE

Part of letting go of the past is to forgive ourselves for attracting our previous partners into our lives. We have to forgive ourselves and we have to forgive the other person. The easiest and quickest way to forgive is to use the Ho'oponopono Prayer. 

I am sorry

Please forgive me

I love you

Thank you

MAKE ROOM

After you have forgiven yourself and everyone you have attracted into your life, it is time to begin to make room in closets. Begin to act as if he/she is already present in your life. 

LOVING YOU FIRST

People that go through my Love Yourself Fearlessly course are finding their Divine Partner before they finish the course in many cases. The simple act of beginning to love yourself makes you a magnet for love. It is a rare individual that can do this on their own. It took me over 30 years. Loving yourself is not as simple as saying, "Oh I love myself!" Answer the following questions to see if you love you.

Self Love I Q

1. When in a relationship you continue your exercise routine as usual.
2. When in a relationship you continue spending just as much time with family and friends.
3. When in a relationship you put yourself first taking time to nurture yourself, rest, get your nails done and do your errands before spending time with your new love.
4. You feel confident, strong and independent even when he doesn't call.
5. You remain balanced, taking a new relationship slowly, getting to know your new person, rather than jumping into bed on the first or second date.
6. You are able to tell your new love what you want, don't want and make unpopular decisions without fear of losing them.
7. When you are away from your new love, you are able to fill your time and focus on other things. 
8. When asked by your new love, you are able to recommend your favorite restaurants, music you like.
9. You are able to show up always as your authentic true self. 
10. You do not try to act the way you think they want you to be.
11. You have healthy boundaries. You do not give more than you are physically able, keeping work, exercise, family and friends in balance.
12. You feel confident even when your new love talks to those of the opposite sex.
13. You are able to wait until he calls you, after having a fabulous time on the first date. 

If you answered more than 8 questions with a "NO" you need to focus on loving and accepting yourself as you are. I have some very good programs private and work at your own pace to help you do this. I also have some really great tools to bring in THE ONE, by the forth week. I have had great success. In fact one radio show host did the fourth week and manifested her ONE the very next day!

Check out my website: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com

Or book your private FREE discovery session to find out if my programs are a good fit for you. I work with women and men committed to heal, grow and evolve. E-mail Jennifer NOW!

Looking For The Perfect Relationship?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Everyone wants to love and be loved. Yet, the perfect idyllic love of childhood books is only found in the fantasy section of Barnes and Noble.

The people who cause us the greatest pain, have committed to help us heal in this lifetime. 

I hear it all the time; "When will my Soul Mate show up in my life? I have been waiting so long." Women and men wait and long for the perfect partner that doesn't fart or burp and says the perfect thing at the right time. Women long for the gorgeous hunk of a man with the six-pack and men long for the buxom blond who is intelligent and savvy, yet a tigress in the bedroom.  Why are we still sitting in front of our television sets watching romantic movies all alone?

There is no doubt that the greatest hurts are caused by those we love. Thinking that there is ONE person for us, will cause us to continue to wait. For we can only attract that which we have inside of us. We all vibrate at a certain level and attract those who vibrate at a similar level to us. It is the old, "birds of a feather theme all over again. We attract what we are. We attract what we think. We attract those who will reflect our deepest inner issues right back in our face. Those who show up in our lives teach us the lessons we need to learn. 

Our partners show up and act like the saucer of the tea cup. Fitting perfectly with us. We fall in love quickly and then just as quickly realize that, "Oh he smells bad!" or "She drinks." 

I recently was at a mixer of single people in Santa Monica, California. Most of the people were between the ages of 40 and 58. You would expect that they would be mature and have their feet firmly planted on the ground. I was asked to dance by a tall thin man. He emitted low self esteem from his aura. While dancing I talked to him asking about himself. Was he married? "Never!" I asked him, why he didn't marry the one he fell in love with. He replied, "She had issues." The fact that this insecure man was looking for someone without issues of their own, was very telling. We tend to not smell our own poop. He could not see the forest for the trees. He did not recognize that he had his own issues. He wanted perfection. Yet he was far from it himself. 

Whatever our greatest lessons are in this lifetime, someone will show up that will illustrate our lessons for us. If we have issues with low self esteem, partners will show up and teach us how little we value ourselves. They may victimize disrespect, or abuse us. People will show up that teach us what we need to learn about ourselves. 

Waiting for your Soul Mate or Twin Flame to show up? You may be missing out on other opportunities if you push people away who show up in front of you now. When you focus on their imperfections saying they aren't perfect could leave you standing at the train station waiting for Mr. Right to come along for a very long time. You are missing the point.

If you are looking for perfection, are you perfect? If you are looking for a supportive, loving person who will love, honor and cherish you no matter what, are you those things? There is no such thing as the PERFECT partner. No one is perfect. Each and every one of us has issues and challenges that we are working through. To think that there is only ONE person for us, is limiting and simply not true. 

Soul Mates

If you are looking for the romantic love, of a Disney movie, it does not exist. For that romance is make believe. If you want a white knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet and carry you out of your office building placing his helmet on your head, it won't happen. Soul Mates are people who push our buttons. They bring up our issues and challenge us on a very deep level. Soul Mate relationships are the most challenging that we can have. They are not perfect.

Twin Flames

A Twin Flame is someone who is actually part of your soul. When we meet them, we finish each other's thoughts. We feel such a deep and profound connection, that others feel it as well.

The love between you and your Twin Flame is earth shattering. That is the good news. Twin Flames show up to teach us something profound about ourselves. The lesson is particularly difficult and challenging. Twin Flames are only here with us for a very short time, they may even be married to someone else. Mine was single and with me for three months before he died in my arms. (Read more about it in Odyssey Victim to Victory) He was the first person to love me unconditionally. He taught me what REAL unconditional acceptance and love felt like. So that I would know it when it happened again.

I have done readings for several people who had experienced their Twin Flames, like me. Several were married to other people. Another sad story was one of the pain of death. The pain of this experience to find someone that they were so deeply connected to, but could not be with was excruciatingly painful. To lose such a person, or not to be able to be with them is heart-wrenching. 

The idyllic fantasy of the perfect love does not exist because in the end, we are humans. We have faults, and bad breath in the morning. Sometimes we smell bad and say things that hurt the other.  The truth is we are all works in progress. We learn and grow from each and every experience we have, including our relationships. When we are in a relationship we grow much faster than when we are alone. We are triggered often. Our issues come to the surface faster. We can't run away from our issues, unless we end the relationship. To continue to look and wait for THE ONE may mean you are alone instead of learning and growing with someone who may be just what you need. 

All relationships work better when each partner loves themselves. Coming from a place of lack, self doubt or feeling unworthy brings neediness into the relationship. It is impossible for another to fill you, when you are not able to fulfill yourself. Check out Jennifer's courses on Self Love. 

Jennifer is a self love coach. You can contact her at : Divinehealingnow@yahoo.com to schedule a private session. She has courses, in groups and also work at your own speed. Connect with her on Facebook www.facebook.com/JenniferElizabethMasters