7 Ways to Shift Your Relationship Quickly

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

When we are dating, we often overlook the negative. We might brush issues we need to comment on under the carpet because we don't want to ruin what we believe we have. At the beginning of a relationship, we lay the groundwork for boundaries, communication, and appreciation. We teach the person we are dating how we want to be treated by being kind, generous and considerate to them. When we don't call someone on their bad behavior, we are doing ourselves a disservice. We are also training our partner that poor treatment is okay with us. This is where abusive treatment begins. 

As time goes on, the bad behavior often goes from bad to worse. Things are usually the best early on in our relationships because each of us is on our best behavior. If you are not setting up healthy boundaries when you are dating, it will become increasingly difficult to do it later. 

In mature relationships, we sometimes snap, gripe and complain to our partners. We can use a condescending tone when we get irritated. We can make demands rather than requests. When we demand, we block love. When we use a condescending tone, as if we are exasperated with our partner, we are acting like the parent, rather than an equal. 

Communication Inside The Bedroom

Trying to get your needs met in the bedroom can be very difficult if you don't have an open channel of honesty. Compassion, and appreciation go a long way to show our partner kindness. However, if they don't get what you need and you aren't getting your needs met, a conversation needs to take place BEFORE you get into the bedroom. 

Following are 7 Ways To Shift Your Relationship Quickly

1. Appreciate him/her when your partner does something for you. Say, "Thank you." Smile and make eye contact to show you mean it. Appreciation is one of the most important issues to men. If they are not being appreciated they will feel unloved.
2. Be respectful. Giving your partner the respect they deserve will shift your relationship quickly. If you talk down to your partner or they talk down to you, you won't feel respected. Mutual respect is a requirement of a happy and healthy balanced relationship.
3. Validate them. If your partner isn't feeling well, or is having a bad day, they need to be validated for their feelings. Saying, "I'm sorry you are having a bad day today, is there anything I can do to help you feel better?" Usually, they will say no or maybe ask for a hug. The most important issue is that you have validated their feelings. Telling someone they can't or shouldn't feel a certain way will lead to feeling unimportant and even angry.
4. Touch your partner in non-sexual ways. There are times when we need to be hugged, have our shoulder touched or even our hand held to know we are loved from more than being a sexual partner. Non-sexual touching keeps intimacy alive in the relationship. For you men out there than think intimacy means sex, it doesn't. Emotional closeness is what intimacy is. Allowing the other person close to you at others times than when sex is occurring will show that they are loved.
5. Make loving eye contact. In today's fast-paced world, many people rarely look each other in the eyes. Take the time to look at your lover in the eyes when you speak to them. Eye contact allows another to see into your soul. If you can't allow them in, you won't have close sexual intimacy either.
6. Be honest. Honesty is important if you want to have a deep connection. Lies create distance. Allowing another to hear the truth may hurt at first, but over time, your relationship will deepen and become more connected if you don't have lies and distance between you. 
7. Be authentic. Pretending to be something you are not, or faking anything (even that you like football when you don't) creates a disconnect. You will not have deep intimacy and connection if you are not allowing your partner to see the real you.

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9 Things Happy Couples Talk About

The Happiest Couples In The World Talk About These 9 Things

Introducing our guest blogger from Vixen Daily!

By Nick Bastion / Vixen Daily


You know what good relationships are all about?

It’s not necessarily about chemistry, or compatibility, or even attraction most of the time.

Most of the time, when you look at what makes relationships REALLY good – it comes down to
communication.

It comes down to how well you can talk to each other, and more importantly…

…WHAT you talk about.

Science backs me up here – there was a study published in the journal Psychological Science that found that couples who mostly stick to the small stuff when they talk wind up much less happy than couples who get into the deep stuff.

The happiest couples on earth spend only 10% of their time with each other talking about unimportant small stuff like the weather. Meanwhile – the unhappiest couples talk about the small stuff more than 30% of the time.

It’s important to find out the things happy couples talk about.

Let me break it down for you. Here are the 9 things that the happiest, most satisfied couples on earth

talk about:

1. The State Of The World

I said BIG topics, didn’t I?

The happiest couples talk about what’s going on around them – whether it’s on the local level or the

worldwide level.

They share an interest in the world outside their home and talk through major issues and events with

each other to share their views and let each other be heard.

And their relationships wind up stronger for it.

2. How You See The Future

Talking about the future can be a scary topic in a relationship – especially when you’re not 100% sure how he feels about you.

But if you don’t talk about the future, how can you ever possibly know where you stand?

The strongest couples don’t shy away from talking about the future with each other – and making firm plans that involve each other. If you can’t talk about the future with him, your relationship might not have one.

3. Embarrassing Moments From Life

One of the best parts of a relationship is having someone you can share ANYTHING with – even if it was

a super embarrassing moment you’d rather forget.

So if you’ve got a childhood memory that still makes your ears burn, share it with him. Chances are, he’s

got a memory that trumps yours – and you’ll both feel better for having shared them with each other.

4. TV, Movies, And Other Entertainment

I’m not counting this as small talk – even though some people might.

To me, taste in movies, TV and entertainment matter. It helps when you both like the same things – but barring that, it helps when you can at least see each other’s perspectives and opinions.

Plus, discovering that you both LOVE tense political dramas is a great moment – and foretells lots of

happy nights curled up on the couch with each other.

5. Your Biggest Fears

One of the most important things to do in any relationship is to share yourself completely with your

partner – to better allow him to share himself completely with you.

And yes, that includes your fears. If you can’t allow yourself to be vulnerable around the person you’re supposed to trust with everything, where can you be vulnerable?

Summon up your courage and share what you’re truly afraid of with him. He’ll do the same – and it will bring you closer together.

6. What’s Going On In Politics

This is a scary subject for a lot of people – there’s a reason its one of the biggest ones avoided at

parties.

But being in a relationship is about being respectful and listening to each other – even when you don’t agree. Even if you’ve got opposing views, it’s good to talk about them with each other in a respectful way, so that you get the opposing viewpoint from someone you respect.

Plus, it’s a great way to practice patience and positivity with each other – if you disagree that is.

7. Your Childhoods

Things that happen in your childhoods shape the people you are today. How are you supposed to know who your partner really is without knowing what went into making him the person he is now?

Talk to each other about your childhoods… the things you remember and the things you wish you could forget. Sharing such an intimate part of your lives is a great way to bring yourselves closer together.

8. Your Romantic Pasts

This probably isn’t something to bring up on a first date – but if you’re in a serious relationship with

someone, it helps to know what happened to them romantically over his life – just like it helps him to

know where you’re coming from.

Talking about exes – what happened, where you went wrong, where they made mistakes, and why

things ended up the way they did, gives you and your partner valuable information about how to get

things right THIS time, in THIS relationship.

That way, you don’t wind up repeating mistakes of the past, and instead make happy memories and

plans for the future.

9. What Your Families Are Like

When you put together a list of the most important, influential people in someone’s life – family is

almost always at the very top of the list.

These people make you who you are – no matter how infuriating, frustrating, and aggravating they can be sometimes.

Share with each other about your relationships with your family – it will give you both huge insight into how you view relationships and what to do to keep each other happy.

Vixendaily.com is the only site out there that specializes in mind-reading quizzes, content

and advice tailored to your particular needs.  It’s like having your own personal mentor

guiding you through life’s challenges every step of the way! It was founded by dating and relationship expert, Nick Bastion, who is the main contributor to the Love & Relationship Advice section of the site.