Empty Nest

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Most of you know me as an intuitive life and sex coach, healer and Spiritual teacher. To my family, however, I am a mom. I am just another mother in a sea of mothers. As mothers, we support, sacrifice and teach what we know about life. We teach our children right from wrong, how to respect others, manners, personal interactions, how to drive and be safe in the world. 

We teach our children how to live life from a higher plane, not to take things personally, moral code and how to love. Then one day, our little chicks are all grown up.  They long for their personal freedom and to begin life on their own. As of Monday, May 19th, it is with a combination of great joy and sadness that I release my last little chick out into the world. My daughter, Ariel was a Divine gift. I gave birth to her when I was 41. This will be the first time in 32 years, that I have been without a child at home. My nest will be empty except for my two dogs and cats.

Before I got pregnant, I was guided to fast, cleansing my body in preparation. I had to raise my vibration to carry this Divine being. I had to grow and evolve quickly. I became a channel, mystic and enlightened around this beautiful young woman. 

At the age of three, Ariel was channeling messages from her angels, seeing spirits and communicating with them. To her peers, she was weird. Growing up around a Metaphysician, nothing was

strange to Ariel. She remembered her past lives, other father, how she died in past lives and so much more. I dragged her to Spiritual conferences, workshops and festivals. We even had them in our own home. Ariel has had her own challenges. She has experienced great loss and tragedy. The loss of our beautiful home. The loss of everything we owned, when our house was filled with black mold. The loss of our Beloved pets, Gunner, Jake, Lucy, Lydia, Khatman, horses, too. 

Ariel has moved across the country with me. Leaving Georgia when I was guided to do so and Milton High School to live in Boulder, Colorado in 9th grade. She got over her initial anger

Ariel, 2nd runner

about me pulling her out of high school in the middle of 9th grade. She was drowning and lost in a sea of 3,000 very wealthy kids. Her initial fear of attending a new high school vanished within the first week at Boulder High School, when a sea of friends engulfed and surrounded her. These were kids that came into our home and cooked for me, getting to know me as well. They did activities together as a group, which Ariel had never done before. She had a network there, great teachers who loved her.

Adam, David, Jennifer, Ariel For Heaven Scapes Crew

She also experienced divorce, shared custody and other deep emotional losses. More importantly, Ariel lost her father right after her 16th birthday. Rich died in his sleep at the age of 52. Ariel had no chance to say good-bye. He would not be there to see her graduate, go on to college or get married. Her father's death hit her hard because she had harbored so much anger towards her father with regard to the shared custody. Going back and forth every other week was challenging. She had no real roots as a result. It made her stronger. She became more flexible.

Rich Resuta and Ariel

She has blossomed and grown into a beautiful, vibrant and strong young woman who knows her own mind and heart. A month after Rich died, our dear friend Joanne Butler passed away from complications of diabetes and an amputation. Three weeks later, Diana Davis died from experimental chemotherapy for breast cancer. Diana was like a second mother to Ariel. Her son Forrest had grown up with Ariel. Spending time together during summers in North Georgia, swimming and just being kids. Forrest and Ariel both lost a parent.  2012 was a very challenging year.

Forrest and Ariel with Isabella (dog)

She faced challenges, growing up with two much older brothers. She is 12 years younger than her brother David and 15 years younger than Adam. Early on, she felt she lived in her brother Adam's shadow. 

We were living in Boulder,

Elk in Estes Park, Colorado photo by Jennifer

Colorado at the time of his death. Rich died in North Dakota where he had gone to work in the oil fields. His high end residential home building business had failed when the economy tanked. Working in the oil fields gave Rich the income to pay child support for the first time in 8 years. He worked in North Dakota for 10 months until his death. The work was hard. He was the oldest man on his work crew. When he first told me he was going to work there, I felt he would not leave North Dakota. I cautioned him about it. He asked a medical intuitive we had been going to in Georgia and she said he would be safe. Perhaps there are some events that have to happen, or we choose how and when we leave. 

Boulder, Colorado 

 

Three months after Rich's death, I had to leave Ariel with a friend to retrieve his belongings. The biggest of which was his pick up truck. When I began to see the places Rich had worked, I started to cry. Over 700 miles away, Ariel, felt what I was experiencing and became very ill while I was away.

Ariel learning to drive her Dad's truck in the desert

Being an empath means you pick up on other's emotions. Ariel and I have been very closely tied since her birth. When I was upset as a child, she would be also. I had to be careful to not allow my emotions to run amok, as Ariel would get migraines or worse from what I was feeling. For two weeks, Ariel's own future was touch and go. I thought I was going to lose her. I made the decision to withdraw her from Boulder High School while she recovered. The stress of attending school while she was grieving intensely was impossible. I knew school could wait. I focused on getting Ariel stronger. 

Adam, David and Ariel in Boulder, CO

We talked about her father often. In the meantime, she met a boy who was moving to California at a very vulnerable time in her life. She was smitten. His family drove back to Colorado so that he could attend homecoming with her. Ariel was very thin and still very frail. They had an awkward dinner out before the dance. Ariel had not dated, this was a new experience for her.

Homecoming 2012

After he left with his family to attend a special charter school in Lancaster, California, Ariel and I began discussing her options. She tried on-line school. Working completely on her own with little supervision proved too difficult for her. She also tried another type of format in Boulder for school. It was not the right fit either.

Dressed for Prom at Boulder High

Finally, the mother of the boy that moved to California encouraged us to move to California, so that Ariel could attend Desert Sands Charter High School. This school was not traditional. There were no classrooms, lectures or lunch rooms. She studied independently, with weekly visits with her teacher. Tutors were available, which she utilized for Algebra II and Trigonometry. Those were especially difficult for her. Ariel worked hard at school, even through the summer months without a break. She focused completely on school work. No friends to divert her attention, she began longing to return to Boulder, Colorado. I gave her incentive to encourage her. I told her as soon as she completed high school, I would allow her to return to Boulder, Colorado no matter what.

She made up for the lost time and has completed her senior year ahead of schedule. Tomorrow morning at around 10:00 AM, Pacific time, Desert Sands will ring the bell to announce another graduating student - this time it will be Ariel. She will not walk with her class, because she has not been connected to anyone while here. She did not have time. Her focus has been on completing high school to get back to Colorado where her dear friends are. 

Alex, Ariel and Tessa in Colorado

I thought about Ariel's diligence and stick-to-itiveness. For a teen, she has not blown off school work to have fun. She has not given up when Algebra II almost made her brain explode. She has not gone out drinking with friends or gotten into trouble while we lived in California. California for her, was a means to an end. A way to graduate on time. She is a strong young woman who knows what she wants. She speaks her mind and stands up for what she believes. My work here is done. It is time for me to let go and trust. On Thursday, Ariel will celebrate her 18th birthday in the town that she calls home, Boulder, Colorado. 

Lancaster, CA California poppies, April 2014

I have kept my promise to my daughter. Even though, I will return to Colorado myself for three weeks in June, we are leaving today for her future self. Her room has been packed. Her father's truck is loaded and ready to go. Today at 6:31 PM, I will accompany my graduate to Colorado, where she will begin her new life. She has been accepted into The Art Institute of Denver, despite what teachers at Milton High School said, "You are not college material." She will receive an associates degree in culinary studies and open a bakery in Boulder, Colorado. This 17-year old knows what her dreams are and is pursing them. She has never given up hope. She proved her brothers wrong. They both thought she would never attend college. She was such a sweet little child, so innocent and free, easily misunderstood.

Tessa and Ariel Boulder, CO

These teens are still friends today. She is delighted to be returning to Colorado next week to begin college in Denver. She knew what she wanted to do. At 17 she chose a career in the culinary arts, planning to open a bakery in Boulder, Colorado and cater weddings. She is creative, talented and self assured. She knows who she is. She has learned to be herself, no matter what others feel. She learned to be authentic, independent and strong. 

Today, as a mother, I am letting go, as hard as it may feel to do so. I am launching my beautiful daughter out into the world to shine her light. She is independent, unique and talented. As parents we sacrifice our desires, our dreams and our wardrobes to give to our children so that they will have better lives. My daughter has supported me through the writing of two books. She has seen me grow into my gifts as I have watched and supported her grow into hers. I feel honored to have been in her life. I set this beautiful bird free to soar with the eagles and cast her net into the world. 

Ariel, with brothers Adam and David, Flagstaff Mtn, Boulder, CO

Yesterday, I was asked will I cry? The question is not will I, but rather for how long? I will grieve, it is natural to do so when we experience great changes. However, I  have the joy of knowing Ariel was an integral part of my life for 18 years. We will stay connected. After all, even after I return to California on Thursday, by air, I will return to Colorado for three weeks in June, right before she begins her college career in Denver. I too will soar in my life with the launch of my new book, that she was there to support me through. Each time I mentioned my book to anyone, Ariel would say, "My mom has written a SEX book!" We will stay connected, of course, she is my daughter, I love her. My nest may be empty, but my heart remains full.

I have created a go fund me account in support of Ariel's new life. As a single parent, supporting two households and a daughter in college is a challenge. If you feel called to do so, Ariel (and I) will be very grateful. Here is the link. Thank you for reading and sharing my daughter's story.