The Joy of Pleasure Seeking

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Call me a hedonist! I have to admit that I love pleasure. 15,300,000 other people seem to be searching for it as well when I googled the term "pleasure." Perhaps that is why I am happy. I do my best to focus on the things that make me feel happy and fulfilled. 

I do what gives me that incredible feeling of pleasure, this is what many people call following your bliss. I travel at least five times a year, I spend time with my family whenever I can, I eat healthy foods and exercise daily. I do work that I love and I stopped trying to make others happy.

What is the definition of pleasure? 

Merriam Webster's definition of pleasure is:

 a source of delight or joy. A frivolous amusement, or sensual gratification. A further search using Bing suggested a happy feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment.

There is no doubt that pleasure raises our happiness quotient. Our brain is geared for pleasure. There are many ways we can experience pleasure; getting exercise, eating healthy foods like fresh fruits and vegetables, spending time with the people we love can also help to heighten our experience of pleasure. Sex also increases pleasure for us. Some people may feel that they aren't good at it, and resist having sex. Many people are only having sex occasionally, rather than regularly. Regular sex keeps us healthy, youthful and balanced.

Of course, the flip side is that relationships can be challenging. Some people may feel that their relationships don't make them happy. Their relationships might not bring them pleasure. If not, why not? 

I recently watched the movie, Hector and the Pursuit of Happiness. If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend it. The movie chronicles a psychiatrist looking for happiness. 

Not only is the movie humorously done, but also a source of inspiration for those looking for it. "Hector" will help you recognize what you already have. The recognition of the good in your life can allow you to feel happier and give you increased pleasure. I agree with the premises in the movie. Seeking pleasure can bring you happiness and Vice Versa.

Different Ways To Experience Pleasure

My little dog Yoda in the very hot sand

Living in the desert can be an intense experience. In the middle of a  two-week, hundred degree plus heat wave I decided to take an impromptu trip to the beach.  I checked the air temperatures in San Diego and was thrilled to find temperatures there were in the low 70's. I booked my hotel through hotels.com and found a boutique hotel that was pet-friendly in Little Italy. 

My time at the beach, although short, recharged me, enlivened and excited me. I received many different types of pleasure there alone. I took myself out to dinner, had a great glass of wine and treated myself to Tiramisu, my favorite. Eating slowly is a sensual experience. Tasting our food slowly, savoring it, can be as sensual an experience as a massage for some of us.

Adventure

Travel just about anywhere can be exciting. Taking a trip on a whim can be the most exciting. Travel details and planning can bog us down, create more stress, rather than give us the pleasure we seek. Being spontaneous and deciding the same day to go somewhere, without any preparation can give you a sense of excitement or adventure. The trip doesn't need to be lengthy to give you a rush of positive energy and happiness. A road trip can be just what you need to give you inspiration or your batteries a recharge. 



A trip out of town to a lake, mountain or ocean can bring you a new lease on life, ideas or inspiration. Water and sand ground us. We all need to get ourselves grounded, in touch with nature to recognize who we are, and enjoy the simpler things in life, like just being alive. Making love in a new place can also re-ignite that spark into your relationship. Camping is an inexpensive way to travel when you can swing it. 

The Regenerating Affects of The Ocean

Playing on the beach with my dogs gave me great pleasure. I walked along the soft sand, played in the water with my dogs and relaxed on the shore. The sound of the ocean, and just looking out over the water is in itself meditative. Salt water is healing. The

minerals and salt are restorative agents which cleanse our negativity, balancing our PH. I recommend bathing in salt water to many of my clients because of its healing effects.

Our Brain on Sex

A study in the Netherlands determined that both men's and women's brains react similarly during sex. The brain behind the left eye (lateral orbitofrontal cortex) shuts down, which is the seat of reason or behavior control. When you have an orgasm you lose control. There are some differences as we would expect. When women have

sex the periaqueductal gray (PAG) is activated. The PAG controls the flight or fight response. It is no wonder that women need to feel safe when having sex. Having trust for their partner also deepens a woman's experience of pleasure.

O-face

When women were asked to fake an orgasm the brain scan showed the part of the brain that controls movement was activated. Women actually having orgasms did not. Interesting that the brain registers the difference when we fake orgasm, our body does also.

The Scientists also said that men and women looked like people on heroin while in the throws of orgasm. Pleasure it seems, is the same. It does not matter whether the pleasure is from food sex or drugs.  Denying ourselves pleasure is also saying no to happiness. How do you deny yourself pleasure? I'd love to hear from you. Visit me on FaceBook and join the conversation.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, life coach, hypnotherapist, and energy healer. She uses all of these tools and a few others in

her coaching practice. If you are ready to commit to being happier, more expanded and having happier relationships, set up your free session with her to work on an issue. This way you will be able to see if her work is a good fit for you.

Why Me God? Why Do I Have To Suffer?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Pain is a terrible thing to endure. When we are in pain everything is difficult. We find work arduous. Often pain is so profound we can't function. We can't focus, think or do the most mundane tasks. We can't love our families, friends, children. We certainly don't find joy in the midst of all this pain. We can look at others and see them living a life free of pain and suffering while we are in the trenches, gutting it out, in agony. Pain can be emotional, guilt, shame, unforgiveness, resentment, anger, grief, sadness or depression. It can be a feeling of emptiness, longing or a void.

Pain can also be physical. 

Pain is A Vehicle

We experience pain when the universe is trying to get our attention. Perhaps we have been avoiding looking at our issues a lifetime. Maybe we have been suffering since birth. No matter the length of

time we suffer, you can be sure, pain is there to teach something. 

Ways We Avoid Pain

Some of us have sex or masturbate when we are in pain. Others reach for a beer, drink, food substance, sugar, or "help others" to avoid feeling our pain. Others work to avoid their pain. No matter the drug of choice, avoidance of pain will not make the pain go away, it only sidesteps it, numbing it briefly till the drugs, sex, or substance wears off. No matter whether you read for a drink, pornography or food, the end result is the same. You are numbing yourself so you don't have to FEEL.

You may say, you don't have an addiction, or drug of choice. If you have pain you do something, maybe even shop, cook or eat to avoid feeling it. You may take prescription medicine to push it down deep into your cells. 

Or maybe, you like me, have done all of the above AND rescued every stray animal in the universe to "help them," in order to evade feeling the depth of your despair. Animals are a really great way that we hide our feelings and put our attention instead on something sweet, soft and furry that will love us back, when we can't completely love and accept ourselves. 

Serial Monogamy

Others jump from relationship to relationship trying to avoid feeling the pain they are having. 

The Purpose of Pain

Pain has a purpose? You betcha! Pain gets your attention when nothing else the universe/God/Allah/Mohamed/ has tried to show you. Pain is the last resort. When situations don't do it, you keep repeating similar experiences of trauma, chaos, suffering in different ways to expose the truth. Instead of running away, you need to stop avoiding and focus on you. Until you stop, and feel the feelings fully, you will continue to suffer. Suffering is avoidance of pain. Suffering will continue until the beatings stop. The Universal beatings is what I am talking about. Pain is to move you off center. Pain is to get you out of this rut you are in. Pain is a catalyst for your healing. It was what did it for me. I finally said, "I am done with this suffering, I will do whatever it takes to move it and feel joy." Now, I don't suffer any more. Divine Grace flows in where the pain once was. It is like a miracle.

Why Do We Experience Pain?

Pain gets our attention like nothing else. The purpose of pain is to get our attention. Other methods have been tried, and pain is the last resort. 

The key is focus. Focus on this pain. Sit with it. Revel in it. Feel it completely. 

A River In Egypt?

River of De Nile? 

You like to be an adventurer? You may be such an adventurer that you spend time boating up the river of denial, which is not actually a river.... it is that place where you say to God and whoever else is looking on, "I don't have issues, you're the one with the issues!" 

Other Methods?

What other methods have been used to get your attention, you ask? Well Grasshopper, you might have searched outside of yourself for love. Instead you found abuse, heartache, disrespect, lying, cheating or some other painful experience. So you tried another relationship and found more pain and suffering. What gives? You're a good person? Why do bad things keep happening to me? You ask. You look again for a relationship to fulfill you and found instead someone who really takes you for a ride, steals your money, your children, your heart......  get the picture? 

Each relationship is more difficult, challenging and hurtful than the one before, because you missed the signs, the red flags and the lessons. 

All these events were designed to get your attention so that you would look INWARD, instead of outside of yourself for relief. The pain won't go away until you stop running away from it. You have spent half your lifetime running away from the very person who can bring you true love and happiness - YOU!

How Can You Begin Right Now?

1. Stop running. Move towards the pain. Step forward into it. There is nothing to be afraid of. Breathe. Feel the pain fully. See this guy to the right here - he is experiencing and feeling fully. He may be feeling pleasure, but feeling pain is the same thing. Just stay with it. You may cry. You may scream. You may swear. Stay with the emotion until it subsides. I promise you it will. 
2. Move your body. Walking is a form of meditation. Leave your cell phone in your car, home or somewhere safe. Don't be talking on the phone while doing this work. All of the aforementioned are avoidance tools. Walking out in nature is a great way to move through emotion. By the end of your walk and talking with your team of angels, guides and God, you will feel better.
3. Meditate. Sitting in quiet reflection in meditation will move emotions fast! I have been angry and sat in meditation thinking nothing will move this and POOF - it is gone! 
4. Do a mantra if you can't get your mind quiet. I use RAMA RAMA RAMA.... it works well. You can also use.... "I LOVE ME." Below are several mantras that will help you shift energy. Some are in Sanskrit because it is a powerful language of healing. I have provide both English and Sanskrit. Mantras heal. Mantras give your mind something to do and help you focus your energy. 
5. Use a mudra. A mudra is a hand position that also heals. I have provided a couple that work well to move emotions and heal the emotional body. 

Hansi mudra for anxiety

Mudras For Healing

Mudra translated from Sanskrit means gift of joy. Mudras can bring you into a state of joy. So use them when you meditate. It will enhance your experience and bring you higher states of consciousness. Each mudra has a purpose.

The Hansi mudra is a good mudra to use for anxiety. It accesses a state of bliss. Anxiety often is a result of suffering and pain. 

Apan Vayu mudra "Savior of Life"

The Apan Vayu mudra can save you from a heart attack. It is called the "Savior of Life," for th very reason. It increases vitality, relaxes muscles and relieves pain. 

The Udana mudra focuses on the vocal chords. This is important because most people have issues speaking their truth. This comes from a lifetime of having to swallow words you want to say keeping them inside you. The more you can speak your truth with unconditional love, the more your throat chakra will open up. This mudra also heals the respiratory system and the kidneys. Many of us have anger issues and healing the kidneys is part of letting go of the past. This mudra looks more complicated than it is. Leaving the pinkie finger and ring finger extended, bring your index finger and thumb together. Touch the middle finger to the fingernail of the index finger.

If you have enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend, FaceBook, or elsewhere. I do appreciate you!

With Love,
Jennifer

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an authentic, compassionate and empowering healer, life coach and author. She lifts you up, encourages you and helps you to see things from a different and softer perspective. Her books are available on Amazon. Orgasm For Life is a guide for unbridled bliss and connected sex, deepening intimacy and creating happier relationships. The core of the work Jennifer does is self love. A lack of self love is the gap that causes all ailments, addictions and sadness. You can e-mail her here to set up your discovery session to see if her work is a good fit for your goals.