Feeling Unhappy In Your Relationship? Follow These 3 Steps For Resolution

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

We have all been there. We feel stuck, blocked and unhappy. Our sex life might be bland or non-existent, and arguments and strife might be what we consume for breakfast. It doesn't feel good to not be on the same page as our partners. The easiest way for us to feel better is to blame the other person. The problem with blame is it makes us a victim and as you know none of us are. We make choices
and are where we are because of the beliefs we have and the decisions made.

When we feel unhappy, we look to the other person as the source of our unhappiness. However, taking responsibility for where we are is something that each of us has to do to begin to shift our energy and change direction from negative thinking which blocks to gratitude and the downward spiral of negativity.

Responsibility is the key to healing.  JEM

Step One

Once we recognize that we are in blame, we have to change our focus and look for ways to resolve the mess we feel we are in. To solve a problem, we have to look at it from a perspective we haven't used yet. Begin by using a query to uncover the truth. Ask yourself the following questions and write your answers in a journal. I feel your resistance, and I get it. Writing involves a little inner work to get the clarity we need. Introspection and clarity will set you free and allow you to shift quickly. Basically, when we refuse to look inside it is because we are in denial of the truth using the small part of us (ego) believing we are right and the other(s) are wrong. Remember the reason we are in a relationship in the first place is to grow and evolve not stagnate and blame.
Journaling your answers also gives you a baseline to return to in a week, month or a year to see how far you have come.

• Have I set healthy boundaries?
• Have I kept silent about issues that upset me?
• Have I griped, groaned and complained rather than looked for a solution?
• Is my mindset negative?
• Am I only seeing my partner's negative qualities and refusing to recognize their wonderful side?
• How do I feel about myself? Am I overweight? Am I depressed? Am I complaining rather than living in a state of gratitude?

Step Two

Now that you have some insight, can you see what you can do to change the course of history and the way you feel? Our feelings are a barometer for the three "Cs." Clarity, Cour-Correction, and Congratulations. Once you feel better to take the time to congratulate yourself for recognizing your patterns. Old patterns mean we are living in the past and dragging it into your present circumstances. We can't evolve beyond where we are by living under the shadow of old stories, limiting beliefs and programming. Think of it this way, imagine watching Leave It To Beaver today or Little House on The Prairie. How do you feel? Those old television programs are like the old programs that are running your current day reality. We can choose something different. The way we change old programming is by choosing to respond differently.

It is not the event that causes the damage, it is our reaction and response to it that creates our programming

Step Three

Maybe you have an issue with your mother which also bubbles over into your current romantic relationship. Perhaps mommy is critical, cold and negative. Is she the problem? Maybe she didn't love you the way you wanted to be loved. The little you probably would say, "Damn straight she's the problem and always has been!" Remember what was stated earlier about taking responsibility? Blaming mommy (or anyone) makes us a victim. I know I did it for years. My mother was my kryptonite! I could be strong, powerful and authentic with everyone but my mother. When I was in my mother's presence, it was as if all my strength was drained from me. Why? Because I was operating with my small child Jennifer programming. I became the people-pleaser, making mommy happy. I used to do everything in my power to keep peace with my mother and keep her happy because I wanted her to love me. I even married a man because she told me to. My mother was so worried about what her friends would think about me living with a man. My mother was very worried about appearances. Appearance and keeping up with the Joneses is an ego-based program.

Worrying about what other's think of us is none of our business. JEM

What have you done to make your mother or someone else happy? What have you given up in the process? Are they any happier as a result of your cartwheels and twisting yourself into a pretzel? The truth is, no one can make anyone else happy. Our mother's happiness isn't our responsibility. Our spouse's happiness isn't our responsibility either.

1. Be honest with yourself. How much energy have you spent attempting to do what other's wanted you to do? Stop wasting your precious energy and power on another person.
2. Instead of staying mute use your words and voice to state what you want and don't want.
3. Set healthy boundaries with others. Remember every day you are training others how you want to be treated. If you have allowed the behavior to continue, it could take a little time to retrain others. Be consistent. Think of the other person as a little puppy or a child. Each time someone attempts to get you to do something recognize the manipulation. Just say, "That doesn't work for me, it is not what I want for myself."
4. Watch your emotional reaction to other people. Remember no one can "make you feel or do anything." You are in control of the way you feel.
5. Don't stew or boil over what others do or ask of you. Remember your reaction to their requests, prodding or insistence doesn't have to continue. Tell them, "No, thank you."
6. Get clarity on what you want and don't want. Most people are unclear about what they want and don't want which creates issues within relationships.
7. Notice what you feel. If someone is pushing your boundaries, anger may bubble up. Anger is there for a reason so that we recognize when our boundaries are being crossed. We have to put our hand up and say stop.
8. Until our behavior changes, we have not changed. If you are still doing and acting the way you did as a child you are responding with old programming. 
9. Move out of fear of the new and different knowing you are safe and worthy. What another person says or does is not who you are. No one defines you but you. Stand in compassion and self-love using the, "I LOVE ME," mantra.

The amazing thing about our brain is that it creates new synapses - hence new programs when we are consistent with new behavior. Mantras work when we use them consistently. We can reprogram hate, anger, shame, guilt, and all of our negative emotions to be different. In the past, my mother would feel illicit guilt from all of us kids. I stopped allowing her to "make me feel," guilty. If a program continues long enough, it is imprinted in our cellular memory.

Our cellular memory can be changed, I've done it. When we reprogram our cellular memory, we heal cancer, tumors, Fibromyalgia, auto-immune disease, anxiety, depression. All of it can be healed by thinking differently. Meditation, mantras and coaching will help you get there faster. It took me over thirty years on my own. When we want something different and are sick and tired of being sick and tired, we persevere every day. Working on ourselves isn't something we do here and there, it is a daily practice that changes our lives so that we have a magical life full of wonder, joy, and happiness; it is where I live and breathe every day.

Part of my work involves Telesummits where I have a 90-minute interview so you can hear me live and receive a free gift or purchase a package that is an incredible saving. I am involved with several Telesummits in the next two months. You Wealth Revolution and Radiant Intuitive Woman are the most recent. I'd love it if you joined Dee Wallace, myself along with 22 other powerful healers on the Radiant Intuitive Woman Summit happening right now.

Can't do this alone? You don't have to. Let's set up a time to talk. I'd love to hear about your situation and see how I can help. Send me an e-mail, and we'll set up a time to chat.

How To Use Spirituality To Overcome Your Problems

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

When we believe that life isn't fair, we are plagued with problems, challenges, and suffering. I know, I have been there worn the t-shirt and given it away to Goodwill! Today, I will share with you the secrets to manifesting in the moment, overcoming what you perceive are problems, finding parking places that don't exist and get more than what you need in life, miracles included!

There are some rules to life. Once you know the rules, understand how to use them you will win, be happy and find you have what you need. The problem is when we focus on our problems we create more of what we don't want. When we focus on not having enough, or not having what we want that gets in the way of being a master at life and manifesting. Below is an explanation of how to use the rules along with my personal truth about how I manifest in the moment. Follow these rules and life will kick ass! I promise. 

Follow these and you can rule your world!

1. The Universe is always and in every way orchestrating your life FOR YOU!
2. Everything that happens does so for a reason.
3. Life is a gift.
4. Gratitude is the fuel for the Universe to give you more.
5. You attract what you are.
6. You only get what you give.
7. Wherever you focus your attention expands.
8. When one door closes, another will open that offers better opportunities.
9. There is always a silver lining. 
10. Faith is always rewarded. 
11. You have a reason to live. You have gifts to share with the world.
12. Everything is subject to change.

How To Have A Kick-Ass Life

If The Universe is always orchestrating our lives for us, focusing on our problems gives us more problems (more of what we don't want). Why? The Universe delivers to us what we predominantly think. The more we think about something, the more energy we give it. The more energy we give something, the faster it manifests. Most people focus on the problem, which creates more problems. 

Every thought is a prayer. Each thought we think goes out into the universe and boomerangs back to us. The Universe then sends us back what we continue to think about. Everything we think manifests especially when we couple thought with emotions. 

Instead, focus on what we want. For example, when I had rent to pay and no manifestation of money in the bank, I would say, "How can I effortlessly and easily have $1,000  by July 1st?

My Personal Story

I misappropriated funds in December 2015. The Universe doesn't like it when we use money that is allocated for rent or bills for other things, like a trip to Canada, in my case. 

I had $1,000 in the bank which was allocated for my final car payment due in December. Instead of using the money to pay off my car loan, I bought an airline ticket to Canada to spend Christmas with my mother. (Buying a plane ticket to do something loving for my mother was unselfish of me.) Giving to others unselfishly without expecting something in return is rewarded. 

I sat on my couch where I meditate daily when I returned to California and asked, "How can I effortlessly and easily have $1,000 for my final car payment by Thursday?" 

Then I sat with my eyes closed and focused on my energy. This is what I said:

1. The Universe is infinite. Therefore, I am infinite.
2. The Universe is expansive, therefore, I am expansive.
3. The Universe is abundant. Therefore, I am abundant.
4. There is nothing lost in the Universe. Therefore, my money is on its way to me NOW!
5. I was in complete faith that I would have the money. 
6. I began acting as if I already had the money in my bank account; giving gratitude which fuels manifestations.
7. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Within two hours I had $700 that was unexpected from two different clients. It took two more days for $300 to show up. Within two days I had the full $1,000! My focus was on the truth that The Universe is always orchestrating my life for me. I know that I am always taken care of. I had complete faith that I would have the money by the time it was needed.

Don't Focus on Your Problems. 

Every problem has a solution. I didn't focus on not having money. I focused on creating it! I was in complete faith that I would have the money. The result was that I paid my car off by the deadline. I was extremely grateful.

When One Door Closes

Also in December of 2015, I needed a dog sitter to take care of my two dogs while in Canada. I booked one dog sitter but knew they weren't the best for the job. They lived in an apartment which was upstairs and my older dog, Karma had difficulties with stairs. She offered dog sitting for a good price and was kind to animals. I wasn't completely comfortable due to her not having a fenced in yard. I didn't focus on the problem, however.

The Day Before My Flight I Had No Dog Sitter!

Two days before I was about to drop off my dogs, the dog sitter was not returning my calls. I knew she changed her mind. Rather than forcing her to do something she didn't want to do, I looked for another sitter. I messaged one person who looked perfect, but they never responded. I messaged another woman who sounded great but charged more money. The day before I was to drop my dogs off at her place, she stopped answering my calls. I couldn't reach her by e-mail either. 

I knew that everything happened for a reason. Rather than focusing on the problem - not having a place for my dogs the day before I was heading to Canada, I asked the Universe to send me the best possible solution. I knew when one door closed another better opportunity will show up. I had complete faith that I would find a great dog sitter for my two furry best friends.

The Universe loves win-win solutions! JEM

Miracles Happen When You Believe!

I believe in miracles. I know they happen every day. I know they happen for me.  The night before I was to leave, I received an apologetic e-mail from the guy who was perfect as a dog sitter. He was the first one I messaged but never responded till now. He was a single dad with two teenage boys. The dad worked full time and did dog sitting on the side. He assured me the boys were very sweet and capable of taking care of the dogs while he was at work. The teens gave the dogs the love they needed, their father got the money he needed and my dogs were taken care of!

 It was a win-win for us both! He even discounted his rate for me to what I could afford. We all benefited. 

The Universe loves it when many people benefit from one orchestration. This way it is less effort for their team to bring things to fruition for us.

He had a fenced in yard which made it so much easier for the dogs and the sitter. All the boys had to do was open the back door and let the dogs out! Perfect.

Finding The Perfect Parking Spot

I manifest all the time by myself. Sometimes I have had others with me while I manifested. I have changed non-believers into believers just by being myself. This is a story of finding a perfect beach-front parking spot in Santa Barbara on a busy weekend:

I send the parking angels ahead to find the perfect spot close to the beach. One Saturday with my partner I drove straight toward the coveted beachfront parking lot. He pointed to the lot further from the beach, "Don't you want to park over there?" I said, "No, I have a spot over here....." as someone walked toward me and pointed to their car, indicating they were leaving. Not only did I get a great spot, but the people leaving were friendly, smiling at me and made sure they left me plenty of room to pull in as they exited.

My friend shook his head in awe. He is always surprised at how I manifest in the moment and follow the guidance I receive.

Seeing Dolphins Where There Were None!

When I look up at the night sky I most often see shooting stars, because I expect them. I have mystical experiences everywhere I go. 

When I go to the beach I ask for dolphins. My little brother visited me in California with our childhood neighbor. When we arrived at Santa Monica Beach, I said, "We'll probably see dolphins." My brother who is a faithful Catholic doubted me and expressed his doubt out loud. I smiled and said, "Oh ye of little faith!" As I looked over his shoulder, I pointed to the pod close to the beach, "There they are!" My life is magical because I expect it to be so. 

Change Challenges Into Opportunities

Nothing stays the same. Energy moves continually. We change and grow. We need to be flexible and flowing. Rather than getting stuck or fixated on the problem we need to focus on the solution. When we look up instead of down to see opportunities rather than problems. 

When you focus on hate, hate is all you see. 
When you focus on negativity, negativity is all you get.
When you focus on others opinions and what they are doing, you

are missing the point. Life is all about you. Mirrors are everywhere. What you see in others is what is inside of you.

Do Not Do The Following

1. Watch the news.
2. Don't focus on hate or negativity
3. Don't focus on all the problems in the world.
4. Don't complain.
5. Don't critique yourself or others.
6. Don't react.
7. Don't avoid feeling.
8. Don't blame others.

Read The Signs


When we are awake, we notice signs on the outside and feel our feelings on the inside. We are guided by both the outside circumstances and the inside gut reaction (feelings). Just like a check engine light that lights up on your dashboard, your body will give you signs as well. Don't ignore the signs. Pay close attention.

We might be warned by a closed door or a missed opportunity. With increased awareness of witnessing what is happening in our world, we might notice we weren't present, which caused us to miss something amazing! We might notice after-the-fact when we ignored our Guidance we missed out. Learning from past experiences helps us tomorrow. We are always improving and growing, or we are dying.

The more we listen and trust our Guidance, the stronger the messages become. I listen to my Guidance and use it every day. My life is all about TRUST, FAITH, HONESTY, and AUTHENTICITY. When we live by these rules, our life becomes one of miracles and bliss. 

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One of my clients told me today that I have helped him become happier with himself, his marriage and everything around him. He is more focused, present, loving, accepting, non-reactive, kind, caring and appreciative of everything he has. He now can see the signs and knows what they mean. Good things keep happening in his marriage, and in his business.

When we lovingly accept ourselves as we are with all our faults

and flaws, we have healthy self-esteem. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE The Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without a Prescription!


Find Jennifer's books on Amazon.

5 Reasons You Need To Know Your Core Values

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Core values may come up in business discussions, but rarely on first dates. If you haven't discussed your core values by your second date or phone call, you could be in for a wild ride and heartbreak. Marriages fail and crime rates rise because people have no idea what their core values are. Without a focus on our values, they weaken.

Knowing what your core values are what each of us needs to have a happy life and long-lasting healthy relationships. 

What are core values? 

Core values are what is important to you. Core values are not to be confused with hobbies or interests. If you are a spiritually minded person, your core values might include healthy lifestyle, meditation, compassion, truth, respect, love, spirituality and give back. Matching your values with another who has similar core values gives you a greater chance of success in your relationship.

There are core values for business. There are core values for families. Before dating someone a second time, it is important to find out what their core values are. It will save you energy, time, and heartbreak down the road. 

Reason #1:

If your core values don't match, you could be wasting your time with someone that doesn't want to get married, have children or has other opposing values from yours.

My List of Core Values

• Love and respect
• Loving Communication
• Commitment
• Monogamy
• Spirituality
• Responsibility/health/happiness/finances
• Compassion
• Sharing
• Acceptance
• Honesty/Authenticity/Transparency
• Hard Work/According To Soul Purpose
• Forgiveness
• Self-Growth and Higher Learning
• Time with family
• Nature/pets/rescues/environmental responsibility
• Conscious Sexual Expression

Write Your List

Your list might be very different than mine. That's okay. You are different than me. Sit down with a pen and paper and write your list of drop-dead must haves. In my Love Yourself Fearlessly program, I help people find out who they are, what they want and don't want so they can recognize what they want in a partner. Until you know yourself and what you truly desire, it will be very difficult for you to manifest what you want, because you aren't clear.

Don't Want To Rock The Boat?

If you are afraid of losing the person you are dating by having a discussion about values and spiritual beliefs, you are already on a rocky slope. Your boat is already filling with water; you just don't know it yet. If when you rock the boat someone falls out, they weren't meant to be in your boat with you.

Why You Need To Know Your Core Values

Reason #2:

When you don't know what is important to you, you might search and never find what you desire. 

Reason #3:

If you are job hunting, and you know you are an honest person, but choose to work for someone that promises blue skies and dreams but doesn't pay taxes, is a hoarder, holds grudges, doesn't pay his employees on time you will not be happy with your job choice. 

Find Out Early

Before selecting a partner for marriage your core values must match, or you will find too many challenges that your marriage fails. Choosing someone that wants what you want gives you a greater chance of success. If you are dating, you could spend months getting to know someone, fall in love and then find you don't have the same desires for a future together. They might want children, and you don't. You might want sex, and they don't.

Talk About Sex First

Too often sex occurs without a discussion before it happens. Sex is an important part of a relationship. Do we wear condoms? Do you have chlamydia or any other STD? Do you have any sexual phobias or perversions? 

Reason #4:

You might find out that your partner prefers kink while you prefer vanilla sex. Though you might stretch your rules and boundaries to accommodate their desires early, a steady diet of something you find abhorrent like being slapped across the ass or elsewhere, might prove too much to endure in a marriage or long-term commitment if it isn't what you want. It is best to find out early what type of sexual experiences your partner likes.

Religion and Spiritual Beliefs

Religion can be a touchy subject. For two people of differing religious backgrounds to meld comfortably, both need to either not practice their religion, be open to conversion or completely accepting of your differences with respect and without judgment. 

However, religion is a subject you want to broach with a partner you are dating. If you are Buddhist, and they are Christian, even if you have great chemistry, it would take tremendous openness for a Christian partner to understand your mindfulness, meditation or spiritual beliefs. There needs to be respect for each others' differences and a state of allowing for them both to occupy the same space. 

Reason #5

Religious differences may take a smaller role at the beginning of a relationship. Sometimes to keep things on an even keel, we may downplay the importance of our spirituality to maintain the relationship with the guy/gal. If one person is Jewish and the other is Christian what religious upbringing will your children have? Even with Catholic and Christian's backgrounds bringing up children can create havoc and discontent when both parties want to raise their children with their religions.  Having a discussion early about religion/spiritual beliefs and practice will save you heartaches and conflict later.

Knowing how important your religion or spirituality is to you is important. Expressing your need to have and practice according to your wishes needs to be an open discussion. 

Author's Note:

Even when a discussion occurs, some people lie about what they believe and want. I married to a Southern man who said he had no problem with my work. After we had been married, it became quite apparent not only did he have a problem with it, he disapproved. He hid his strict Southern Baptist and Christian views and dogma from me until after we were married. 

I have a close connection with The Divine. I pray and meditate daily. I live in gratitude; I work with God and angels in my healing work. I speak to Guides and spirits. This is a deal breaker for me. You can be the greatest guy in the world but if you aren't spiritual, accepting of my work and beliefs, it's game over!


I believe in authenticity. I am not afraid to ask questions. I stand up for what I believe. I don't keep my beliefs a secret. If I am not open

to having a particular type of sex, I say so. An open discussion ensues when I begin to have a connection with a man before I move forward towards sexual intimacy.

Susanne Alexander with co-authors Craig Farnsworth and John Miller  has an extensive list of 56 character qualities in their book, Pure Gold Encouraging Character Qualities in Marriage. They are: 

Acceptance	Creativity	Generosity	Mercy	Spirituality
Assertiveness	Detachment	Gentleness	Moderation	Strength
Beauty	Discernment	Helpfulness	Patience	Tactfulness
Caring	Education	Honesty	Peacefulness	Thankfulness
Chastity	Encouragement	Humility	Perseverance	Thoughtfulness
Commitment	Enthusiasm	Idealism	Purity	Trustworthiness
Compassion	Equality	Integrity	Purposefulness	Truthfulness
Confidence	Excellence	Joyfulness	Respect	Unity
Contentment	Faithfulness	Justice	Responsibility	Wisdom
Cooperation	Flexibility	Kindness	Self-discipline
Courage	Forgiveness	Love	Service
Courtesy	Friendliness	Loyalty	Sincerity

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