You Can't Always Get What You Want

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Have you ever been in a situation where you had your own idea of what needed to happen, so you pushed to make it so? Even in the face of everything sacred, things just didn't go as you planned. They usually don't when we attempt to impose our will on others.

Life inspires me. When issues arise in my life, I share them with my readers. This week, I traveled with my daughter to Boulder, Colorado in her father's truck on Monday. Our drive was good, easy and uneventful.

When we arrived in Boulder, we had paperwork to process and our own agenda. We had good intentions. We thought we could take care of her driver's test, truck tags and ID card while in town. That was not to be. For every corner we turned, we were met with closed doors, wrong forms, no picture ID from California. The FedEx overnight package I spent $40 on, was returned without so much as a phone call by the North Dakota DMV, because I did not sign the paperwork the way they wanted me to. 

California uses a paper driver's permit, that other states don't recognize as a valid form of identification. Even California won't recognize a learner's permit as a valid ID. My daughter asked me if maybe she wasn't supposed to be in Colorado. Intuitively, I knew that was not the issue. Both Ariel and I were challenged for different reasons when things did not go as we planned.  "If one more thing goes wrong, I think I will cry!" my daughter said.

For over a week Ariel and I talked about having banana cream pie from the Walnut Cafe in Boulder. We were delighted to find that they had it on their extensive pie menu when we arrived there on Thursday at lunch time. We always ordered pie as our first course. I love to eat desert first, it is one of my little indulgences when I am out of town.

When we arrived at our favorite breakfast and pie place, we watched in disbelief as, banana cream, was removed from the menu board before we could place our order. All I wanted was my daughter to get her driver's license, and truck tagged so she could be independent and have transportation. If she couldn't have that, at least we had banana cream pie! As we watched the banana cream pie vanish from the menu, it was me, who burst into tears, not Ariel. The things I wanted to accomplish were not being done. Doors were being closed at every turn.

It was her fear of driving without me. Although she had been driving every chance she could get, she was not ready to drive on her own as yet. Her mother being 900 miles away, did not make her feel warm and fuzzy driving. The Universe always and in every way works for our highest and best good. The Universe was protecting her from herself. She will be unable to get her permanent driver's license till I return to Colorado in 20 days. We both were shown that our agenda was not in my daughter's highest and best good. She had tremendous fear about driving alone. Fear behind the wheel could easily attract an accident. Neither of us wanted that to happen.

To some, when we have our agenda or will that pushes for our desires, we might feel that The Universe, or God is working against us. That is not the case, and could not be further from the truth. Just because YOU feel it is a good idea, doesn't mean that it is. It does not mean no, it just means, not right now. There are so many possibilities in The Universe, we can only see what is immediately before us.

We all have our desires and will. When we attempt to impose our will on another, in a relationship we will find our partner can and often will apply equal pressure in the opposite direction. When our agenda doesn't match our partner's we can try to make things happen, the way we want them to. For women, this could mean trying to get someone to be exclusive, move in with us, marry us, or adopt our children. It could mean to have a man take a more active role in your children's lives, when he isn't interested. For men, pushing your agenda could mean trying to get the person you are dating to have sex with you, ahead of her schedule. 

When we push for something that goes against the grain, we become like salmon swimming upstream. We are pushing our energy, trying to make things happen. Things begin to fall apart. We could lose the relationship we have because our agenda does not match our partner's, and The Universe will not support us in our manipulation.

Sometimes, women want men to move in with them, to make them feel more secure. Or women want to be exclusive with the person they are dating. When the relationship has not evolved to that point, your partner might feel pressured and wonder if you are the right person for them. You have to have a conversation about your individual desires. 

What does this mean? When things evolve naturally, they feel right. You don't have to push. They just fall into place on their own. Pushing your ideals, will, or agenda could create the exact opposite of what your desire is. If the person you are dating is recently divorced and single, it is likely they are not interested in a serious commitment just yet. They haven't gotten over their break-up. They have not healed and let go. So what do we do?

1. Be in a state of allowing. Allow things to take their natural course. Don't push your own energy to make things happen.
2. Be present in the NOW. Breathe deeply. Focus on what is going on right now, rather than striving to bring what you desire into the present. Enjoy each moment rather than pushing for something different.
3. Pay attention to your fears. What is your motivation? Are you in fear of losing your man, or woman? Are you trying to push them away? Are you afraid of intimacy? Or are you afraid you will never get married, and want to MAKE IT HAPPEN?
4. If your partner says, "I'm not ready for a relationship." Don't try to push it. Listen to what they are saying. Trying to change another is manipulative and rarely works to your benefit. Let them go. 
5. Talk to your partner about what they want. Do not read into what they are saying, "I am not ready to get serious, yet...." does not mean that they will want to move in with you and your children next month.

Pushing your own will on another could lead to disastrous results. Instead of being in a state of allowing in our relationship with a man or woman , we may cause it to explode and end because we are not being patient and allowing nature to take it's course. 

When we are supported in our endeavors by The Universe, things happen and move forward with ease, effortlessly and easily. Check in with yourself. Are things difficult? Are you pushing your will on another? Stop, take a step back and breathe. Allow nature to take it's own course, it will be infinitely more beneficial in the long run, with much more positive results. You may not always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you will get what you need. Take it away Mick!

Jennifer is the author of Orgasm For Life. This book is due out May 28th, available on Amazon.com. She is an awakened healer, hypnotherapist and certified life coach. Sex, love and relationships are her focus. When you love being alone with you - others will want to be with you also! Jennifer's website is: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com

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Marriage Is Not THE Destination

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Wedding Bliss and Joy

I hear women planning their weddings, pouring time, energy and love over bridal magazines, it seems to me that many feel that a wedding is the final destination. "When I get married I will be happy!" seems to be the sentiment.Yet, marriages are ending at an alarming rate, people are depressed and suicidal, which is far from a blissful state. What is wrong with this picture? 

It was a very happy day

For me, it was not until my fourth marriage that I finally was ALL IN. I gave everything to my marriage. I was no longer looking for someone else. I was completely committed and, in love. I felt satiated with life. I thought I found THE ONE. Boy was I wrong. Within months of our wedding, he was having affairs. Being a psychic I knew these things. I was awakened from a sound sleep when he was away ostensibly visiting with his daughter. At 10:30 after being asleep for half an hour, my guides roused me, saying to me, "You should have heard from Jeff (name changed to protect him) by now."

My happy place in Alpharetta, Georgia

I called him. Instead of him picking up, his phone went straight to voice mail. I could feel guilt on the other end of the line. I knew what this meant. He was not with his daughter. He was with someone else. Why after all these years, inner work and healing did I experience this pain and suffering? Because I had more work to do. I had cleared energetic patterns, but I had not cleared the emotion that I had stuffed deep down for over 50 years. I had covered up pain with anger and stuffed it all deep down inside.

Discovering your spouse or partner is having an affair is devastating. You begin to question what is wrong with you. The point is, that it is not you. It is them. They have a void that is not being filled. They looked to you to fill it and you did not. No one else can.

Each of us have our own lessons to learn. We all experience pain, suffering and trauma on some level to help us look within and grow. Pain is the catalyst for growth. Without it, we stagnate. Our soul purpose is to evolve and become enlightened, but most people have forgotten what we are here to do. Not everyone turns within. It is the higher road, but not an easy one. We each have to take responsibility for your own life, happiness and bliss. We depend on our marriages, husbands and wives to fulfill us. When this does not happen, you do what I did, you divorce them. 

Returning from India - Atlanta, GA with Ariel

Yet, happiness does not come from re-marrying another. It comes from deep introspection and self discovery. I had done so much of this it made me really question what was going on. After three months of grieving, screaming, crying and tossing his crap out of my barn, I let it all go. He was the catalyst for deep healing of my blocked emotions, and thankfully, I learned to let it all go. I was grateful for what he gave me. I let him go with love. Each person we encounter has something to teach us. Learning the lesson and recognizing the gift is the important message. Instead most of us blame our spouse or ex for what they did to us. When we do, we are missing the point. If you do not learn, grow, forgive and let go, you will attract another who will teach you a more difficult lesson. This will keep repeating until you learn. Your fulfillment, your happiness is an inside job. You are the purveyor of your own bliss, joy and happiness. You are the one who needs to say, "I choose to be happy. No one else can give that to me."

We focus on what another can give us. Yet, what we give ourselves is permanent. Self acceptance, self care, unconditional love. Until we give it to ourselves, we are giving to others to manipulate, control and to attempt to fill the empty places within  ourselves. No other can fill a void. No other can love you enough. No other can validate you as you can yourself. 

When another is expecting us to fulfill them, to be responsible for their happiness, it is a huge burden. It is an impossible task. Yet, men, women and children spend lifetimes attempting to make others happy, to no avail. It is not possible. You will feel like a failure if you make this your life's mission.

The old me, hugely popular but very unhappy

Instead love and accept yourself. Love yourself no matter what. Love the journey, the joy ride, rather than look to an event in your life to make you happy. No ring, certificate or marriage will give you happiness permanently. This is an experience and feeling you give to yourself. Live in the moment, rather than focusing on how some future event will make you happy. Each event in our life only comes one time. If you are focusing on the future, you miss the joy of the moment. You miss the love that is present right now. You miss out on living life to the fullest.

After The Wedding

When women (especially) focus on the fact that getting married will make them happy, they wake up days or weeks later and feel let down. If the wedding and being married didn't make me happy, then it must be my husband's fault. We blame the men for not doing it for us. Many women begin looking or another for this very reason. It may happen in 5, 10 or 20 years down the road. If you are not happy with yourself, no marriage will make you feel better about you. You may have the greatest guy in the world, but unfortunately you don't see him as great, because you don't FEEL great. This very thing recently happened within my own family. My son married a beautiful girl. He was deeply in love and committed to her. 

Her focus was on the wedding, rather than the relationship. Everything had to be perfect. She spent hundreds of hours creating center pieces for each table, decorations and give-aways for the guests. She put so much energy into the wedding. When my daughter (her bridesmaid) tinted her hair 6 months before the wedding, she freaked out. Yelling at her on Face Book, "How could you do this to me!" She was a bridezilla. The wedding, rather than the relationship was her focus. Within 2 years she met a guy at the gym that shone brighter - he must be the one that will do it for me! My son was devastated. 

Self Love Is The Key To Happiness

When we look for happiness outside of ourselves, we find that a love, marriage, job or car only gives us a temporary charge. The feelings don't last because there is not enough love for ourselves. We are giving to others from an empty place. There is simply not enough to go around. When we are filled with unconditional love for ourselves, it is a very different story. Instead of focusing on our faults and being perfect, we need to accept ourselves the way we are - as if we will never change. We all have parts of ourselves that are less than stellar, because we are human. We also have talents, gifts and expertise that no one else has. We are all unique. When we begin to see the magic within ourselves, focusing on the beauty within, rather than seeing ourselves as ugly, imperfect and lacking everything shifts. Everyone of us have personality traits that make us different, those parts that don't smell or look so pretty are the ones we need to embrace unconditionally. Those are the parts that are harder to love. Loving all of us, even those parts that are hard to love, fill us. Instead of feeling incomplete and broken we begin to feel full.

Our connection with God, Allah, Source energy is the other half of the equation. I have never been a religious person. I was not even sure God existed until well into my 30s. I needed proof and my life sure did not show me that there was a God. Many of us feel this way. It isn't God that does bad things to us. It is our patterns, family programming that is in place for us to grow. We look at our lives upside down. We were taught backwards. When we were children we were taught that self love was selfishness. This is not so. I recommend doing The Divine Presence Process Meditation to fill yourself to overflowing. I have a You Tube video that many have used and found their love within.http://youtu.be/8RNHrXoWWsc

We are not looking for another to MAKE US HAPPY. Sex becomes dull quickly. We begin to blame our spouse. We are not all in. We may have spoken the vows, but we don't believe them. Since we don't love ourselves, there is a constant search for the next best thing - whether it is a lover, or subsequent marriage. 

Famous People and Movie Stars

Have you ever noticed how rare it is for movie stars and musicians to have long-term marriages? People in the lime-light are often filled with self-loathing and unworthiness. They are faking it till they make it. Models fall into this category as well. They usually have very low self esteem. When our self esteem bank is low, we can't take criticism, we get extremely defensive and reactive when there is any conflict. We are often in tremendous fear of our partner having an affair or leaving us, because we don't feel good enough. Our thoughts create, so we end up creating just what we fear. Sadly those marriages that had such a beautiful spark of love, end. 


How Do I Focus On The Present?

1. Breathe deeply. Quiet the mind chatter. 
2. Stop blaming yourself for what you did or didn't do in the past.
3. Recognize that each event, relationship or experience in your life is to teach you more about who you are.
4. There is no right or wrong. It was not wrong to fall in love or marry that person. It was just an experience.
5. Let go of your story. Life is a series of experiences that we create for ourselves with our thoughts. If you continually tell your story of woe (I am so sick....  I am so lonely..... I am so broken... I am so depressed.... and I sick and tired...) The Universe will send you more of what you are focusing on. Stop telling your story. 
6. Focus on the positive. Take your attention off the negative and magnify the positive. Whatever you focus your attention on will grow, whether it is positive or negative. You would rather have the positive, right? 
7. If you have issues with 1 - 6 it is time to book your private session with me so that I can assist you to live in the moment, empower you, expand your awareness, heal, grow and evolve. If not now, WHEN?

Jennifer is the author of the forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life. She is awakened, living in the moment fully connected to The Divine. Her sessions are enlightening, heart-opening and life-changing. If you are ready to live life to the fullest, happy with you, connect with Jennifer to schedule your private session now. JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com or visit her website and check out what others have experienced through her coaching and teaching. http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com