Are You Avoiding Life?

As an observer of life, I watch men and women. I watch couples interact as well as single people. Recently, I have been astounded at the absence of mindfulness in the men I have encountered. Two men, let doors slam in my face as I entered the buildings after them. I talked to those men and this is what I found.

Both men were terribly distracted. When I brought their actions, gently to their attention, they were both very apologetic and told me that they didn't realize what they had done till afterward. One was going through a divorce and clearly had other things on his mind, he later asked me out on Facebook. I declined. 

The second one was married. He made excuses. It was his cell phone, his computer, texting.... I asked him if he treated his wife with such disregard he said sheepishly, "No." I know this can't be true. I asked if they were still having sex? He looked surprised at my question. I told him if he was so absent-minded and disconnected during his day, he was most likely missing the boat with his sexual encounters as well.

As You Do One Thing Is How You Do Everything

If you are not present during your work day, you will not be present at home with your wife and family either. 

If you are aggressive on the road and cut women off, rather than let them go ahead of you, you will also be aggressive in your relationship with women.

If you are shut down to the idea of sex and being intimate with your partner, you are also shut down emotionally for yourself and life. You will not be experiencing life to it's fullest potential. 

Cluttered Home - Cluttered Mind - Cluttered Body

Is your home cluttered with collections, magazines, newspaper and mail? If so, you are an emotional hoarder. You have difficulty letting go of the past, you will continue to be angry about things when it is more than beyond the time you need to let it go and move on. 

If your home is cluttered, your car is probably also. As you do one thing, is how you do everything.

A woman I have worked with complaints about her husband hanging on to magazines, books, and newspapers. Yet, she also has stacks of magazines, a slew of clutter on her bathroom counter top and oodles of unworn brand new clothes in her closet. The very things we criticize our partners for are our own issues as well. Look inside rather than pointing fingers at others.

If your home is cluttered, you most likely need to do a colon cleanse. Read my previous article about digestive hoarding. Digestive issues can kill you. 

Get your digestive tract cleansed and let go of all that crap stuck inside of you. Emotional issues will also be released. A colon cleanse cleanses more than just the body, it also cleanses the mind, emotions and raises your energetic vibration. Think about it this way, all those meals you have eaten over the years with food additives and undigested foods are stuck in the colon, making absorption next to impossible. You are literally starving to death as we speak due to your body's inability to completely digest your food.

Holding Hands And Kissing

Are you affectionate with your partner? If not, why not? Most people that are not affectionate with their partners are also not kind and loving with themselves. The more kind and nurturing you are with you, the more in touch with your partner you will also be. You can't expect someone to want to have sex with you, if you don't express love to them or yourself. 

Sex for women is an emotional experience, but it begins in the mind. We can't have sex with our men when you are being an ass, or have forgotten our birthday, anniversary or are just plain disconnected. Kiss your partner. Act like you care. Be present. Tell her or him how beautiful they are - often.

How To Be Present When You Are As Disconnected As A Lamp

I understand feeling disconnected. When I was first starting my healing path, I was absent-minded, fragmented, living in the past and the future and an emotional landmine. I reacted at the drop of a hat. I felt more than a little crazy. Considering what I went through in my childhood, none of that is outrageous. Be patient with yourself. Follow my steps for becoming present, mindful and connected to who you truly are, an amazing, loving, kind and gentle person. Loving kindness is the core of who you are. Breathe that in. Love is your soul essence. Consider giving yourself some compassion along the way, in turn we all become more compassionate with others when we are compassionate with ourselves.

1. Breathe Deeply. The fastest way to get back into your body and get grounded is to breathe deeply. Most people are barely breathing. When you breathe shallowly, you are not affirming life. Affirm life. Breathe in slowly. Exhale slowly and completely. Feel the aliveness in your body when you do. There is nothing to be afraid of. This is you. Breathe in the love. Breathe in the present. Breathe in life.
2. Silence. Sit is complete silence twice a day beginning with 10 minutes. You don't have to sit in the Lotus position, cross-legged. Sit up straight. Breathe. Turn your eyes upward towards the ceiling to shut down the mind chatter. Then close them. With your eyelids shut, turn your eyeballs upwards towards your hairline. This will keep your mind quiet. Shut off your television. Shut off your cell phone. "Oh my God! Shut off the cell phone, what if someone wants to reach me?" They will call back or leave a message. It is okay. Many people are afraid to be alone with themselves in quiet. I promise you, your life will improve when you begin to revel in the silence every day. 
3. Connect. Go outside, walk out in nature. Connect with the earth. Nature, plants, trees, birds will help you recognize your
   
   own Divinity within. Walk barefoot. Touch or hug a tree. Ask the tree to take away your burdens. Then say thank you when it does. Trees have a consciousness and will communicate with you. They love it when we talk to them. Sounds crazy? I certainly don't care what others think of me, you shouldn't either. 
4. Notice. Begin to notice what you are thinking, saying and feeling. Noticing is called raising your awareness. Do your best to stay positive, think positively. As with anything new, it takes practice to train your brain to be positive. When you do it
   
   consistently, you will feel happier, life will be easier. We create with our thoughts. Make your world a better place by thinking lovingly about you and everyone around you.
5. Feel Your Feelings Fully. Most of us try to run away from our feelings. We do this with exercise, work, sex, alcohol, drugs, spending and food. Running away from our feelings keeps us stuck in denial and trapped in the past. We have to feel our feelings fully, sitting with what we have coming up and allow the feelings to pass through us. Running away is avoidance of reality, life and what is. I know I did this for years. I was an expert at avoidance. You cannot be fully present for sex, love or any part of a relationship if you cannot be present with yourself and feel fully.

When we are disconnected from ourselves, we are also disconnected from our partners. Our conversations are shallow and meaningless. Sex takes on a cursory note - lifeless as if going through the motions. We don't show up for our kids fully present, we don't work to our best ability and we don't succeed in life when we are

not fully present. 

Living life to the fullest means turning all the lights on, igniting our soul, living in our passion - fully alive in every breath. I want this for you. Living in a state of gratitude for what we have now allows us to appreciate life more, it is how I live my life. 

Meaningful and Thriving

Life is more meaningful when you are fully present. Your conversations mean something to the people you connect with. Sexual encounters are amazing when you are fully present, connected to yourself and your partner in the moment. Your partner notices that you are fully present - there with them, fully, attentive, feeling everything actively, rather than thinking about what we want to say to make our point instead. 

When we are not in our bodies, we are afraid of who we are. We are afraid of feeling our emotions fully. We shy away from deep connections and eye contact. We are not being true to ourselves or our partners when we are disconnected from ourselves. If you liked this article, please comment below, or share it with a friend. I appreciate you being here. I love you! Thank you to all of you have been following me and reading my blogs. To the Russian people, our ancestors are from a similar family tree. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters has been on her personal healing journey for over 30 years. Her own awakening changed her life in so many positive ways. She shares her knowledge, compassion and understanding with you, her clients. To receive your personal one-on-one discovery session of 40 minutes, e-mail Jennifer now, to see if her work is a good fit for your growth process. 

If you have struggled with relationships and life and are tired of going it alone, Jennifer will give you the support, impetus, and tools to support your journey and empower you along the way. You will find your passion when you work with Jennifer. Jennifer is a gifted catalyst, who's voice heals. She uses six different modalities to help her clients clear, shift and eliminate baggage, depression, sadness, suicide programs and addictions. Her books are available on Amazon.com

How To Communicate In Loving Ways

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Humans are sensitive emotional beings. As we evolve our emotional reactivity begins to diminish. When we are upset our resolve to be level headed flies out the window along with our intelligence. How can we communicate through the challenges that relationships bring our way without thrashing each other in the process?

Arguments are not an indication of relationship failure. It is the way we argue that creates the resultant demise.

Through my life, I have had plenty of experience in relationships. What I have found is that what our parent's modeled for us as love usually wasn't loving. Certainly, in my case, there has been much un-learning and unraveling of what works and what doesn't in relationships. 

My parents didn't speak to each other for weeks when they were upset. As children, we were caught in the middle of missiles, landmines, and volatile rage. Their style of communication was destructive, damaging and negative. We need to learn a new style that lifts each other up, rather than destroys self-esteem. If we can't communicate when we are angry and upset without giving each other the silent treatment while we process, we might continue to operate in our parent's footsteps of volatility, defensiveness and contempt. 

Unlearning old behaviors takes time, patience and practice. We didn't create these deep patterns overnight. As children, we were
little sponges who soaked up everything our parents did, said and felt. We mimicked them because that is what we are programmed to do. Children learn by watching other's behavior and replicating it.

If our parents were negative and accusatory with one another, we mimic their style. Beginning a conversation with harsh accusatory criticism can cause the other to react in a tailspin of emotions, Once contempt enters a relationship we are doomed to failure. Divorce is a certainty. 

Arguments happen in the best of relationships. Conflict will arise. We can't avoid these issues. Not being able to talk rationally to our partners about issues with emotional intelligence leads to divorce and break-ups with a certainty.

John Gottman, a relationship expert in Seattle has researched and written more than twenty books and researched couples while arguing in his Love Lab. His work is remarkable and enlightening. His best work is The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work.  Gottman began researching couples in 1972. He has researched thousands of couples in seven different studies while arguing to see what works and what doesn't.

He is able to predict whether a marriage will succeed or fail from the way that couples argue, and their repair statements at the end of an argument. Gottman's focus is on success rather than the failure of a relationship.

Gottman's research is clear. When we argue in certain ways, our relationship is doomed to failure. 

Success Is Possible
Relationships that have deep friendships have the greatest success. When couples know each other and continue to be updated and interested, remembering what is said and important to one another gives a relationship the strong foundation needed to weather the storms that arise naturally.

What We Need To Do Differently For Relationship Success

• deepen our friendship by supporting each other's goals and dreams
• learn and remember our partners' likes, dislikes
• continue to have an interest in dreams, wishes and desires
• avoid accusatory statements
• avoid sarcasm and criticism
• avoid beginning arguments with a harsh startup - criticism
• when criticism is pervasive it leads to contempt
• avoid contempt (sneering, cynicism, sarcasm, eyerolling, mockery, and hostile humor)
• avoid defensiveness - it doesn't help your argument
• don't tune out your partner - "Stonewalling" often a trait of older marriages
• avoid flooding your partner with a vitriol of criticism - often accompanied by hostility (physically distressing, blood pressure mounts, heart rate increases, body goes into overdrive)

"Recurrent episodes of flooding leads to divorce for two reasons," says Gottman. "First, they signal that at least one partner feels severe emotional distress when dealing with the other. Second, the physical sensations of feeling flooded - the increased heart rate, sweating, and so on ~ make it virtually impossible to have a productive, problem-solving discussion. When you body goes into overdrive during and argument, it is responding to a very primitive alarm system we inherited from our prehistoric ancestors. All those distressful reactions, like a pounding heart and sweating, occur because on a fundamental level your body perceives your current situation as dangerous."

Repair Attempts

Repair attempts can be as simple as "Stop yelling at me." or "Stick with the topic." These repair attempts can diffuse a situation. A grin, a goofy face can all be repair attempts. A repair attempt stops an argument from steamrolling out of control. 

It is the quality of the friendship between a couple that determines the ability to repair an argument and a positive spin on our past. 

Positive Spin On The Past

How we spin our old story determines how successfully we navigate our present. If we continually bring up the negative about the past, everything in our current situation has a negative quality to it. If we have created positive feelings about the past history, recognizing was the catalyst for your growth and evolution, and got you to the place you are in now, you have a positive sentiment override. 

Every relationship can be repaired. A commitment to renew, recover and repair are what is needed. It isn't conflict resolution that is needed. We need to learn constructive ways of arguing, know each other well and be friends as well as lovers. 

When Everything Falls Apart There Is Good News Coming

Divorce is stressful for everyone. Regret over divorce occurs more often than people admit. If I knew now what I didn't know then, I would have stayed with husband number one. We jump from relationship to relationship because we don't know how to navigate it alone. Having a guide to help you is required, rather than traditional therapy that ends more marriages than it saves. (Just 35% get clinically significant improvements).

I am currently wrapping up a powerful six-week program for women who have continued to attract emotionally unavailable men, or people who won't or can't commit. Last night we began discussing communication and how we can improve our delivery. I am offering two programs beginning in January, one for men and a second for just women. Both sexes have their individual issues with communication. From Tainted To True Love shifts our perspective and patterns so that we easily attract a loving, committed relationship. This workshop is a life-changing and powerful event. 

A clarity building exercise to help you discover what you want and don't want precedes a powerful manifestation event.

Contact Jennifer    Orgasm For Life on Amazon

Spiritually Bonded Intimacy

I WIll Always Love You

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

What happens to love once a person transitions and leaves the planet? What happens to love when two people who once loved each other are divorced? What happens to love when two people who were previously romantically involved split? 

The 80's band The Cure says it best, "I will always love you." When a marriage ends, when someone dies, when a breakup happens, the love remains. 

No distance can cut the ties of love. Not even in death, the love remains. The words, "I will always love you," say it all. Death does not end love any more than divorce does. Love once present remains. Even when we feel disappointment, resentment, and anger, love is beneath these emotions, which is why so many people reconcile after divorce.

Once love is present, it is always there. It is no wonder that it is so difficult for those who are rejected in a break-up, the love is still present. Love can't be broken not by distance or divorce. 

For those who have lost loved ones, both parties feel the love. Whether you have lost a friend, a parent or a sibling, the love is always present. 

Old couples who have been married for forty or more years often die within weeks or even days of one another. June Carter and Johnny Cash are a high-profile couple who died within months of each other after a thirty-five-year marriage. 

There is a reason for this; they died of a broken heart. The loss of the other is so great. The love is calling them home. Many couples who have been together for many years, don't want to live without the other. 

One such couple was Aurlo Bonney and Virginia, his wife of sixty-five years. They could barely stand to be apart. After several strokes, Aurlo managed to take care of his ailing wife while

Altzheimer's destroyed her memory and then took her life. After the funeral arrangements had been complete and Aurlo did everything he could do for his wife, he died eight days later.

In my work with clients, I have had many occasions where a loved one came through with a message for those left behind. The messages were always loving, recognizing that no matter the circumstances of the death, love remains. The souls of those both here and on the other side of the veil say, "No matter how far away, I will always love you."

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a hypnotherapist, energy healer and certified coach. Her most profound work is for those recovering from cancer or past sexual trauma. Self-love is the cornerstone of her work whether it is a sexual dysfunction, addiction or relationship issue.

Praise For Jennifer

May 24, 2016

Hi Jennifer,
I wanted to let you know that I am feeling absolutely wonderful spiritually and about myself! After our session yesterday I felt energized and HAPPY for the first time in years! Despite my Fibromyalgia pain, I feel light, like a huge weight has been lifted from me. It's so nice to feel like I can actually take a deep breath and breathe. Life feels happy and optimistic again (I haven't felt this way in over 10 years!). Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

I know we spoke about doing a session once a week, but I was wondering: in your opinion, would it be more beneficial for me to do 2 sessions a week? Is it more effective to do them closer together? I'm sure there is a limited amount of sessions I will be able to afford, but I would like to do what's best for me. Just let me know.

I hope you are having a wonderful day, and I truly appreciate everything you have done for me!

Love and Light,
Lauren 

Hi Jennifer,
I am so amazed and delighted in the difference that you have helped Lauren achieve thus far!!!  Her whole aura and energy has totally changed.  I saw Lauren smile & really laugh for the first time since Nov 2015!!!  I'm so grateful for you and your wonderful, kind and compassionate work with her. You are a God-Send.
Also, the energy in the whole house has changed, it feels sweet and clear, no negativity hanging around. Julie

Why Do Relationships Fail?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

When we begin a relationship we are usually on our best behavior. We shower before our date, shave, fix our hair, wear make-up and put our comfy clothes away. We ignore things we shouldn't and focus on showing our best side. We might even try to hide our faults, flaws, and foibles. Most people put on false personas rather than show others an authentic self. 

We might hide an addiction or negative behavior out of fear that we will be rejected. We might be afraid to show our new partner our true selves because of our insecurities. Rather than asking questions to seek a better understanding of the other, we become mute, afraid to ask for clarity.

How We Shoot Ourselves in The Foot

1. We are not authentic and transparent. We hide our insecurities behind a false persona rather than expose the truth of our being. If we fake who we are in any way we are inauthentic. Eventually, the mask and shield will drop leaving the other person wondering who the hell they fell in love with?
2. We lack self-love. We look for a relationship to make us happy or fill the void of emptiness, rather than filling ourselves up and lovingly accepting ourselves as we are.
3. We become deaf mutes. We pretend we didn't hear or see behaviors that are alarming or potentially damaging to ourselves or the relationship. Instead of asking questions we remain silent about our concerns.
4. We keep quiet about important situations that bother us. It is better to ask a question to get clarity than to make false assumptions about another person. Asking questions is a positive way to get more information, rather than stating what you think is true for them.
5. We don't talk about the elephant in the room like; "Do you like who I am? Are you attracted to me? Do you think our core values are in alignment?"
6. We don't know what we want. When we don't know what we want in a relationship we get what we get. Only when we are crystal clear about what we want and won't tolerate are we able to say something isn't going to work for us. (Aphrodite Effect Audio program is very effective for this issue)
7. We aren't clear up front about our agenda. If you want to get married and the person you are dating says they aren't ready for a serious relationship - MOVE ON! Don't pretend you are okay with your relationship status if you aren't.
8. We aren't clear on our core values. Dating someone with core values that differ from yours will create issues down the road. Religious differences, parenting styles, fiscal responsibility, health, exercise are all part of core values. Most people don't bother to sit down to clarify what they stand for, believe in and is important to them before getting into a relationship. Save yourself some heartache and discover your core values. Write them down. Commit them to memory. Know what is important to you and what's not.
9. We rush for the finish line, looking to play house, cohabitate or get married too soon. We don't allow our relationship to unfold naturally over time. Instead, enjoy the moment and things will develop without forcing them.
10. We push for commitment too soon. It takes some time to get to know another person. Most of us don't even know ourselves! Take your time becoming acquainted before moving in together or taking your relationship to the next level. Once you get to know the other well you might find you feel differently. 
11. If you just want to date, say so. Don't leave the other person wondering about whether you want to get married - eventually or have children.
12. If there is an age difference talk about it. Ignoring a major issue that could be contentious later on is setting you up for failure.
13. Ask yourself if you are okay accepting the person as they are? Or do you long to change the way they wear their hair, where they work, how they talk, eat, stand? Unconditional love means accepting another as they are NOW.
14. We fall in love with the potential of our partner. We dream about what they could be, rather than love them for who they are NOW.
15. We attract what we fear. If we are afraid someone will cheat on us, we attract cheaters to us. Old patterns can continue to surface until we change our behavior and unconscious thoughts. 
16. We put our relationship on autopilot. Relationships take time and energy. We need to listen to our partner, spend time face-to-face communicating verbally, watching body language. We need understanding, compassion, respect and acceptance. If we ignore our relationship it will die, just like plants will without water and attention.
17. We expect our partner to be perfect, rather than accepting their imperfections lovingly.
18. We forget the purpose of relationships is to help us grow. Relationships bring up our deepest fears, issues, and challenges. Blaming the other for your reaction isn't taking responsibility for your issues. Blame is often the cause of divorce.

Unfortunately, when we focus on trying to be perfect, we also downplay the other person's faults and flaws, often explaining them away. We ignore red flags and refuse to talk about the things that bother us, like the toothpaste lid or the toilet seat being left up their drinking or pot smoking or negativity. 

Our fear of rejection is our motivation. Rather than recognizing our wonderful qualities, value and gifts we worry about our deficits thinking we aren't worthy of love or won't be loved for who we are. 

Until we love and accept ourselves as we are, no one else will either. JEM

As time goes on, those small things we didn't mention that bother us begin to add up. Resentment builds because of the stories in our head about what they didn't do. Our unmet expectations cause us to feel resentment. 

We expect our partners to be psychic and  just know what we are thinking. Each time they don't meet our expectations we make a mental note, keeping score. The stories in our head are what defeat us rather than the other person.

Expectations cause resentment. JEM

When we live alone we cook for ourselves, do our dishes and take out the trash. When we begin to cohabitate with a partner we expect that they will do certain tasks. We avoid asking for help. When they don't take out the trash (because they should just KNOW) we become irritated. When weeks go by and the trash hasn't been removed by our partner, we might throw a hand grenade, "It would be nice if you could give me a hand for a change!" Our attitude is the problem, not the trash. We blame our partners for what they didn't do, becoming resentful. 

Sex Is A Form Of Communication

When our verbal communication is absent,  sex becomes a challenge. Who wants to have sex with someone who isn't loving, kind or communicating civilly? We have to resolve our issues for sex to be easy, natural and mutually pleasurable. The better our verbal communication, the better the sex!

 
A healthy balanced relationship will help you live longer. We give our work our full attention. We pay attention to our cell phones, television, and social media. Relationships also need attention to thrive. Have a regular date night without television. Talk openly about what is going on for you. We aren't robots or machines. We are spiritual beings with feelings and needs. Ask for what you want and make sure your partner has their needs met as well. Hire a coach who already loves themselves to navigate your challenges. 

Set up your FREE Discovery session with Jennifer and find out how you can have the life, love and relationship you have dreamed about. JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

Visit Jennifer's website: AphroditeEffect.com

Orgasm For Life: What Turns A Man On?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Excerpt from Orgasm For Life

In a nutshell - everything. Just walk in front of a man naked and your job is done! Men want you to touch their penises. End of story. Men can get a hard-on by being kissed. Oxytocin is released in a man’s body, which arouses him through kissing. If you haven’t touched his penis yet, now would be a good time. 

Men and women also have vast neurological differences. 

Most men spend the majority of their day wondering when we are going to touch their penises. As soon as we do, they wonder when we will touch it again. Women’s brains turn to sex only once in twenty-four hours versus most men’s every 52 seconds according to Louann Brizendine, author of The Female Brain. It gives one pause to wonder how men actually accomplish anything during the day.

Men’s bodies are bathed in testosterone, which is a key component causing him to think of sex so frequently. Women are also governed by hormones that affect her values, desires, what’s important to her and even whom she loves. Ms. Brizandine’s findings also explained why women value communication as one of the key components of a relationship. 

Women speak 250 words per minute while men use only 125. In an entire day, a woman uses 20,000 words, while a man only uses 7,000. Women also know intuitively what others are feeling; while men are busy thinking when someone is going to touch their penis next? Sometimes men are thinking of other things, but every 52 seconds he is thinking of when he’ll be in the sack next having his penis worshiped. (Yes men, I know you think about other things besides sex.)

When women communicate with other women, they prefer to face each other making eye contact. They listen intently to what the other has to say, using affirming sounds like uh-huh, umm, okay, which let the other know they are listening. They become emotionally involved in the other’s story and may even cry together. A sense of closeness develops through sharing each other’s lives. This type of communication rarely occurs in marriages. It is learned but not innate. 

Men’s communication style is a derivative of the hunter-gatherer days where they walked side-by-side, spread out across an open field. They worked together to track down and hunt prey. Today, men prefer to sit at angles to one another or side by side, without making intense eye contact. Conversation with men is action driven. They expect to resolve something by talking about it. They glance at one another on occasion, sitting quietly, rather than making sounds as women do. They rarely share deep personal situations preferring to engage in activities, like chopping wood, or riding bikes together rather than to sit and talk. 

I recently visited a neighbor named, Greg, who’s wife left him and his two small children for another man. We talked for hours about his situation along with how he was feeling about her betrayal. His roommate and he had never discussed her leaving. I found it so strange that these two men did not talk about something that was clearly such a profound emotional issue for him. He had no way prior to my arrival of bouncing his feelings off another. He was apologetic about the way he opened up to me. He commented he did not normally share such private details with anyone. It is not unusual for people to open up in my presence, pouring out their hearts and tears to me without me doing anything.   

Sociologist Catherine Kohler Riessman reports in her new book "Divorce Talk," that most of the women she interviewed with only a few of the men, site communication issues as the reason for their divorce. With divorce statistics being over 50% of all marriages, communication between men and women is the greatest issue facing us today. Most wives want their partners to be partners in a conversation above all else while their husbands do not expect the same of their wives. Sex is non-verbal communication. When sex is good, verbal communication is also.

Without good communication, sex and love are meaningless. When sex goes away, there is no way to dissipate the tension between a couple. Attitude, reactivity, and negativity contribute towards poor communication.

Sex is the unspoken communication between a couple. When two people are in sync, sex becomes an art form of fluid movement. It creates mutual pleasure. There is an unspoken understanding between two people that comes from the ability to communicate their desires or wishes verbally and nonverbally. The spoken word assists the non-verbal communication to be clearly understood.  

We have seen the cartoon of the aging husband, a cup of coffee in one hand, with his nose in the morning paper. Pan to his wife looking angrily at the back of the newspaper, wanting to talk. Men typically do not express themselves the way women do. 

Find Jennifer's Books on Amazon.com

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a sex and passion coach helping women express their highest potential in work, love and play. If your life, love or world isn't what you want it to be, contact Jennifer now! For information about her premium programs like Orgasm For Life Boot Camp for the mind-body and spirit, e-mail her here for a free Discovery Session.

Download my Free APP on I-Tunes

Download My App on Google Play

What Fuel Are You Using To Fan The Flames Of Your Love?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. Barbara de Angelis

It is a great accomplishment today to stay with your spouse or partner because you are happy together. Many married couples stay together often for financial reasons, barely speaking and rarely connecting intimately. Couples that are happy together focus on each other's positive traits rather than their flaws and faults. 

I have a true love story for you. 

Two years ago a woman, I will call Cynthia found me in a Boulder, Colorado magazine. Diagnosed with breast cancer, she wanted to heal naturally. Cynthia knew intuitively that there was something inside her causing the disease. 

We began working together to heal her body. The core of all healing comes from within. Breast cancer comes from several things. There is an underlying refusal to nourish the self, holding onto old hurts, over mothering, overprotection carrying hatreds and deep-seated resentment. For every illness and disease, there is a thought and emotion that came before it that created the issue. 

Cynthia and Peter had been married for 25 years. Cynthia was attracted to Peter because he was so different from her father. Her father was a strong, powerful and very successful man that Cynthia worked hard to please. She even attended the university she thought would please her father and received a degree in what was considered a man's profession. She always felt she fell short of making her father happy. 

Cynthia was a strong woman on the outside a successful professional, and active member of the community. Cynthia had high expectations and was a perfectionist. Peter was a soft, gentle man, unlike her Dad. Cynthia tried much of their marriage to mold her husband into her father, the man she could never seem to please. Although they had the appearance of success, two teenage children, and a beautiful home, there was a distance and disconnection between them. Sex was a rare event and a chore for Cynthia. Cynthia was irritated by Peter. He was unfocused and ungrounded. She blamed him for much of her discontent and unhappiness. 

Over the course of our coaching sessions, we worked to shift the way Cynthia felt about herself. We healed her limiting beliefs and patterns of low self-esteem. We released the trapped emotions that were crippling her. Cynthia began to soften her gaze. She stopped beating herself up for every little thing. Instead of seeing how she failed, she saw her successes. She also recognized that it was her perception rather than the truth that her father didn't love her. 

As Cynthia began to look at the positive instead of the negative, everything shifted. She began to recognize her talents, abilities, and gifts. She started to see herself differently. Instead of feeling that she was a failure, she could see her success. As Cynthia looked at herself through the eyes of love, she began to let go of perfection. 

As Cynthia saw the benefits of working with me, Peter became a client as well. Working with each of them separately began to heal their personal issues. Cynthia's relationship with her husband began to soften; walls came down. Peter let go of past pain from his childhood and raised his awareness. Each individual working on their internal issues made incredible differences in the way they engaged each other. Their conversations stopped being adversarial and negative. Their love for one another strengthened and grew.

Gradually their relationship improved and so did their sex lives. Instead of being triggered by one another, they took responsibility for their own feelings, recognizing that it came from a place long ago. Instead of wanting time apart they began planning weekends away together. 

Instead of focusing on Peter's flaws, faults and how different Peter was from her father, she began to love him for who he was, rather

than trying to change him. Cynthia allowed him to have his experiences in life rather than trying to control or make him perfect.

After our work together, Cynthia has reported to me that she is more in love with Peter now than she ever was. She moved out of her mind and into her heart. Her heart if fanning the flames of the positive attributes rather than focusing on what is missing. Peter opened up in ways he never had been able to before. He had a confidant in me, that allowed him a safe place to vent and gain understanding of himself and his wife.

Commitment to change and grow is all that is needed to save a marriage. When one person decides that they are ALL IN, rather than wanting out, and can let go of the need to control the other, miracles can happen. Rather than living in fear, they have rebuilt trust. When you recognize, there is nothing to fear, Miracles are a breath away, all you need is to decide. Love is always there, sometimes hidden under anger and past hurts. 

What Can You Do To Fuel Your Love?

1. Stop blaming. When we blame someone else for our unhappiness we are not taking responsibility for ourselves. Blame is easy. Taking responsibility takes some maturity and personal growth. Recognize you are not a victim. If you have had past trauma, let's get it healed. It won't go away on it's ow. Believe me I know. It is what I spent 30 years doing.
2. Look within. If you are getting upset with your partner you are being triggered by a past event. Usually what you are angry about has nothing to do with the other person. Ask yourself, when have I felt like this before? Did it have something to do with your mother, father or someone else? 
3. Get some help. Marital issues can rarely be fixed from within the marriage. In other words, it takes a fresh pair of eyes to see what is really going on. 
4. Be kind. Be kind to yourself and your spouse. Focus on the positive, rather than highlighting the negative. You fell in love with them for a reason. What was it?
5. Spend quality time together.  Getting connected requires quiet, intimacy and turning off media, television and locking your bedroom door. Avoiding one another does no good and increases the chasm between you. 
6. Love yourself first. If you don't love you, it will be very difficult to receive love from another. Notice do you push hugs away. Do you resent your partners advances? Why not begin to allow love in and fan those flames with kindness, appreciation and generosity rather than anger, acid or resentment. Love is always present we just have to be open enough to see and feel it.

How much does your marriage mean to you? Thinking that the grass is greener on the other side won't get you to happiness either. Until you do the work to heal your patterns, you will continue to

attract similar relationships that don't fulfill you because you don't love and accept yourself. Are you ready to commit to yourself? Are you with me? Do you want to be happy with you and your life? If so, send me an e-mail and let's have a conversation about partnering together to have the happiness you so deserve. 

Find my books on Amazon to get you moving in a positive direction.

Download my FREE app with 7+ hours of 

FREE 

recorded sessions with Jennifer!

Download my APP for FREE and get seven hours of audio programs with FREE clearings and The Cascade of Miracles prayer.  On I-Tunes On Google Play All Rights Reserved 2016               © JENNIFER ELIZABETH MASTERS Copying any portion without the author's permission is illegal and punishable by law

With Love To All Fathers

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

My sons with their father in Colorado 6/2015

Anyone can be a father. Being a parent is entirely another story. Of all the events in our lives, I believe parenting is one of the most challenging. We set standards for our children, teach morals, beliefs and give them the freedom to be themselves, to make their own mistakes and learn. Fathers have the role of modelling for their children about being out in the world. Our relationship with our fathers, healed or unhealed is what creates the foundation for our success, ability to accumulate wealth and make money, or not. If we continue to have issues with these things, we need to heal these issues.

Attending my daughter's choral event again!

I salute those men who after a long day of work spend time with their children, who attend their children's games, events and school plays. To those men who live a distance away from their children and continue to be involved, you are amazing! Encouragement, teaching, moulding and guiding are what a loving father does for his children. He sets the tone for his children's success. Our parents do the best they can do for us; we improve upon what they received, by learning from their mistakes and raising the bar. 

All of us together as friends - after divorce and re-marriage

No one is perfect. Men who can talk about their challenges, sharing with their children how they overcame them, strengthens our off-spring. It teaches the child that issues will come up, we learn and grow from each one. 

A mountain hike in Colorado 2015

Divorce does not terminate the role of a father. Divorce can add the distance of miles. It does not have to end the relationship with the child. Devoted Dads resolve to do the best they can with what they have been given. Being a father does not end when the child graduates. Even adult children need to have the guidance and of love of their parents long after they have become women and men. Roles change and evolve as our children grow. Instead of having to correct manners and swearing, fathers provide financial guidance, business support and relationship counselling. We see our children through difficulties, as they watch us have ours. We are humans, doing the best we can, rising above our differences, growing in love.

My sons are now in their 30's. Their father and I have been divorced for well over 20 years now. Our sons are now men. They have witnessed both of their parents divorces, re-marry and divorce again. They have learned that relationships are challenging. They have watched us heal our mutual differences and accept each other as friends. We recently spent four nights together under the same roof, the first time in over 20 years. We reminisced, and talked as friends. It was a positive experience for us all. My daughter who lost her father enjoyed time with the boy's father as well.

We enjoyed meals together, outings, hiking the mountains of Colorado. It was a beneficial experience for us. Just because a marriage ends, does not mean the love is gone. It just changes form. 

 Love Never Dies It Just Changes Form

Real fathers continue to be involved with their children. Their children matter to them. The ending of a marriage does not have to mean the end of the relationship with the child. 

Our children continue to need us in different ways as they mature. Knowing when to be silent, supportive and encouraging is something we learn as we go. Often our children need an ear. Giving guidance only when they ask, takes restraint and maturity. Each of us is having our personal experience being a parent. How do you show up for your children? What model are you giving them to follow?

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters now empowers women and men through her love and passion coaching. Using six modalities, the experience is different for every person. A lack of Self-love is the source of all addictions. Loving the self is the greatest gift you can give yourself and the world. You can e-mail Jennifer here for your personal 30-minute FREE discovery session to find out if her work is a good fit for you. 

Ready to let go of pain, suffering, codependency, addictions, depression, anxiety, anger, sadness, chronic fatigue, the underlying cause of cancer? These are just some of the issues Jennifer helps you work through and let go of.