How I Healed A Deep Issue With Scary Angry Men

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

I've had an issue since I was a child. Just one? Actually, after years of working on myself, this issue remained because it was so scary for me. I have been afraid of angry men. My father didn't look quite like Hugh Jackman, but he was pretty scary when he was angry, and he was angry often. Even though my father died twenty-seven years ago, the issue continued to plague me till now.

When an issue keeps repeating in our lives, the universe is presenting it to us to heal and shift it. There is no malice when we don't get the lesson from The Divine or the universe. Even if the person we had the original issue with has left the planet, we can be assured of repeating the lesson until we finally get it. Following is my story of what showed up for me in an unexpected way. Maybe you will see your patterns in my story.

Though both my parents had anger and rage issues, the issue with my father was more profound. My father was a big, strong, angry man. When he was angry, he was loud. His energy got very large, and I was terrified of his rage and loud voice. When I did something he thought was wrong, he would whip his belt off and beat me with it. 

If a wooden spoon or hairbrush were closer, he would use those too. The fear for me was very deep and visceral. Sounds even today like hearing a man pull his belt out of his pants bring up the fight, fright and freeze mechanism that is innate in all humans.

He had an addictive personality and smoked for seventeen years. I never saw him falling down drunk, but he certainly liked to drink. He made his own wine and beer in our cellar. Later in his life, he quit because he knew it was affecting his health with gout and joint pain. 

Repeating Pattern

Throughout my life, I attracted men who were angry. Let's just say the universe gave me ample opportunities to heal this pattern of being afraid of big, angry, scary, yelling men. They may have had differences along the way, but the common thread was anger, intimidation, and disrespect for women. My father refused to allow me to go to college because I was a girl and would just get married and have babies. He felt it was a waste of his money to educate me. There were layers upon layers stuffed deep within my psyche.

Mojave Desert

I attracted men in different shapes and personalities. My father was a self-made handyman and Jack of All Trades. He built houses, cottages, boats and was often fixing things. All the men I attracted had terrible tempers and were scary (at least to me) when they were angry. Rather than standing up to them, I shut down and backed away.

Connecting The Dots

When I moved to California, I had no idea at the time what our little house in the desert would mean to me as far as a healing opportunity. I knew that the desert is for purging. It is a place to turn your life over to God. There are emptiness and monasticism in the desert. I certainly lived like a monk for many years while here. My life became very simple. 

Rejecting Luxury

Alpharetta, Georgia home Rich built, 2001

I had everything material I ever dreamed of in the past from living on a private estate in England to a 4,000 square foot home in Alpharetta, Georgia. I knew the material didn't make me happy. In fact, I rejected luxury after recovering from a spending addiction in a heartless marriage that turned me off anything posh or luxurious. In fact, I gave away my best clothing and furniture. I rejected luxurious comfort due to the guilt I had for having excess and feeling it didn't make my heart sing.

Every time, I went onto the Internet to look for a house in California for my daughter and me this particular house showed up. On the outside, the house looked like little more than a shack, the interior, however, was totally re-done complete with granite countertops, a nickel gooseneck kitchen faucet, ceramic tiled floor, shower and brand new everything. It was perfect for our dogs, and thirteen miles to the closest bank and my daughter's Charter school. Was it pretty? It depends on what you look at. I found a way to make it work. I found a way to enjoy the desert. The bottom line was I could AFFORD IT!

My landlord considered himself a Jack-of-all-trades. He was a plumber but did all the restoration on this little rental house himself.

Upon our move in on November 1st, 2012, I had challenges with our landlord, I'll call him Jose. We were without heat and hot water for two weeks until the gas company could hook us up. Though he helped me out by not imposing a pet deposit, he made grandiose promises on which he didn't deliver. He promised to show up to do repairs on a specific date and wouldn't call when he couldn't make it. Over 50% of the time that he said he would be at my house he never showed. His behavior was so evident that my neighbors remarked at how surprised when he did show up, that was how often commitments were made and broken.

His promise to change out the single paned windows took him two full years to install. His promise to build an arbor over the driveway and wall around the property never materialized. When we discovered a broken window under the closed blinds, my landlord said we broke it then called me a liar screaming at me on my front porch. His intimidation tactics were very scary, I stood firm and refused to pay for a broken window that was broken upon move in. I told him I didn't appreciate being called a liar. I don't lie.

From the first time, it rained till today when there was more than 1/4 inch of rain the bathroom ceiling leaked at the newly located ceiling fan above the commode. Each time the roof leaked, I would contact Jose and tell him. He never fixed the issue. He also didn't listen to me when I told him what I thought the problem was caused by. Even replacing the roof after my ceiling caved in didn't fix the problem.

After the second Christmas in the house, my landlord, informed me the reason he hadn't been responding to my phone calls was that he had been in jail for a DUI. He loved his cerveza, but tequila was his true love. He told me he typically drank a quart and a half a night. I didn't know how he was able to keep the pace of a full-time job and the maintenance of 9 rental properties. Something had to give.

Pieces of The Puzzle

The pieces were beginning to fall into place. My landlord at the farmhouse in Georgia was also an alcoholic who refused to make repairs. (I ended up losing everything in Georgia to black mold after the oak trees landed on the roof.) I was beginning to have Deja Vu. 

Each time it rained, water dripped water onto our heads when we sat down to pee. It could be said, that we were taking a leak in the literal sense. 

Fortunately, we were in a drought the first two years which meant it rarely rained. However, that changed in 2016 when California experience flooding. In 2016 alone, I reported seven incidents of roof leaks where several inches of water filled an awaiting bucket on the bathroom floor. On one occasion water spilled from the ceiling and poured down my interior wall onto the carpet. Needless to say, I reported this to my landlord in February 2017, and never received a response.

Roots grew into the pipes causing raw sewage to back up into the bathtub on three occasions. At this point, you might wonder why I stayed? My logical mind said, "Where else could I get such a deal on rent?" It felt as if the $800 a month rent was worth the inconvenience until it wasn't any longer. 

About a year ago, I received Guidance that I would leave this house as I did in Georgia - with only my clothes and a few precious items. I thought, "Well that is interesting." I didn't question any further, though I could have asked, "Why?" Those questions are rarely answered as we are on a need to know basis. The Universe doesn't feel we need to know they whys and wherefores.

Every time I turned around there was another problem. If it wasn't the pipes being clogged with tree roots and raw sewage backing up through the shower drain into the bathtub, it was a pipe falling off under the sink, gophers tearing up my front lawn or the bathroom roof leaking. 

There was an issue during the heat of the summer last year when my swamp cooler wasn't cooling. With summer temperatures in the high 100's for weeks on end, the air that did come in through the vents was stagnant and smelling of mold. A swamp cooler uses water to cool the air inside the house. The interior temperature with the swamp cooler running constantly sustained 84 degrees or higher. 

How The Swamp Cooler Works

Swamp coolers when running efficiently cost significantly less to run than an air conditioner. Water fed through a pump sprays the large pads about 16"x 16" square, keeping the pads wet. The fan blows through the dampened pads which feed cooled air through the vents into the house. The pads need to be changed yearly because of the mineral build up from the water and the high desert heat that dry rot even rubber. 

The pads on my swamp cooler hadn't been changed in over four years. Jose refused to change them. He even bought the pads and had them at the house to do so. In the end, he changed his mind and said they didn't need to be changed. Instead, he changed out the water pump, which cost triple what the pads cost and that my neighbor said worked fine. Jose didn't like me making suggestions. I was a woman. He didn't respect the opinion of women. I urged him to put the new pads on even offering to pay the $12.00 to do so. He refused.

I told him that my neighbor had taken a look at the swamp cooler for me, he had been a maintenance man for an apartment complex and knew what he was talking about. The fact that I had someone else up on "his roof" made him angry. My neighbor had assured me that the pads needed to be changed and were the reason my house wasn't cooling. The air couldn't possibly pass through the mineral encrusted pads.

Jose said the pads were good. When I got nowhere with Jose directly, I went to Jose's wife who I had become friendly with and worked as the Manager of the Estee Lauder counter at the mall. My logical mind told me it was a good idea to talk to her. It wasn't.

I attempted to enlist her support to get Jose to change out the pads but received the opposite. My logic was false, clearly, I was attempting to avoid a confrontation due to my fear of him. My effort to gain a compadre caused an explosion. Jose didn't respect women. He called me in a fit of rage to say his name was on the lease, not his wife's I wasn't to talk to her about issues with "his" house. He yelled at me for twenty minutes, threatening me. He told me "If you don't like it leave!" 

He said he didn't need to fix anything he didn't want to. My fear of Jose caused me to create a situation that was safe for me. I'll go to the person I feel safe with, his wife. (Our logical mind tells us stories that don't usually make sense but we believe them anyway.)

His rage took me back to my fear of my father and other men who raged and drank. I was frozen. I wanted to escape, but the Universe would support me and hold my feet to the fire. I needed to move through this issue, rather than avoid it.


I had a neighbor change the pads that were calcified with hard mineral deposits and loaded with black mold and paid him $50.00 to do the work. I could have avoided the situation with Jose and his wife by doing this first. 


I was so intimidated after Jose's tirade that when I had a plumbing issue, I paid my neighbor to fix the problem and the swamp cooler, rather than calling my landlord. With the new pads on the swamp cooler, my house was cool, comfortable and my electric bills were cut in half. The swamp cooler didn't have to labor so hard to do its job. 

Shortly after my neighbor mentioned that he had adjusted the float on the swamp cooler; Jose didn't have it operating the way it should. I noticed water pouring off the back of the roof. I turned off the water to the swamp cooler and reported the problem to Jose. He didn't respond.  Two weeks later the ceiling in my back bedroom came crashing down onto the floor, sopping wet drywall, insulation, and smelling of mold. I had no choice but to call my resistant landlord, Jose. 

Jose showed up the following day to survey the damage. Had he responded when I told him about the leak originally, the roof damage might have been avoided. There was certainly a pattern of avoidance; mine and Jose's. That day he declared he would give me a brand new roof he also promised to paint the entire house and let me choose the color. He promised to be at my house on Friday. He didn't show up and didn't call. Instead, they began a day later as one of the crew was too hungover to work the previous day. 

The crew of five, spent an entire day on my roof in September removing the shingles. Jose offered liquid encouragement for his boys. They drank three cases of beer perched on the roof, tossing the beer cans onto the ground. 


My Repeating Patterns

• I had a penchant for quirky old houses that need  constant repair
• I attracted alcoholics - a father, boyfriend, husband, and now two landlords that were Jack-of-all-trades.
• I was accustomed to walking on eggshells with angry people.
• The water issues, leaks and backed up drains were a symbol of emotions that needed to be resolved about the past.
• I had a terrible fear of men like my father who yelled to intimidate women.
• Houses with constant water issues drain away money. My money was going down the drain.
• I felt I couldn't do any better. I was in fear of not being able to afford what was available on the market. (Sound familiar?)
• My daughter kept reinforcing my belief, telling me I needed to stay. "How will you ever find anyone who will accept you with all your animals, Mom?"

What I Had To Do

It takes 21 days of consistency to change patterns. Not only do we need to clear the energetic pattern, but we have to respond differently as well. I had to change my behavior and had to be consistent with mantras and thoughts to have lasting change. I had to reprogram my mind. My old way of dealing with men who yelled and intimidated me was to be intimidated and avoid conflict. I was afraid of yelling men. Instead, I needed to stand up to my landlord in a way that would get his attention. I had a choice, as we always do.

I Considered My Options

1. I could humble myself and go the legal route sending my landlord a certified letter that he could refuse or become enraged over, then take the certified receipt to the Housing Department and then they would look over my notes and decide what needed to be done.
2. I could hit him in the pocketbook to get his attention.
3. I could do nothing and stay in a place that was unsafe, unhealthy where my money was draining away.

I looked at all my options and chose door number 2. I knew hitting Jose in the pocketbook was the fastest way to get him to complete the unfinished work on the third bedroom. His wife called me and asked me when I would pay my rent three days after the due date in March. I told her I had paid it. She began asking further questions. I felt confident and strong. I asked her to have her husband call me, as he requested that I not talk to her about issues relating to "his" rental property.

Though Jose called me immediately, he was in Mexico tending to his ranch. When I explained I had deducted $500 for the five months I was without my third bedroom, he was dumbfounded. Since the house was 800 square feet and my rent was the same, I paid $300, devaluing my rent $100 for each month that the third bedroom was unusable. The third bedroom was 100 square feet. It made sense to me. 

To Jose however, he couldn't put a full sentence together. I had shifted the dynamic. I was no longer the complacent agreeable meek woman. I was finally growing a pair. He promised to see me the following Monday to do the repairs. He made good on his promise and did an incredible drywall plastering job. We chatted while he did the work. He tried to be angry with me, but I was friendly and affable. He never asked me for the $500. 

Amethyst Geode

The huge amethyst geode he had broken moving sheets of drywall was still in question. I couldn't prove he broke it, as I didn't see it happen. The fact that the bedroom door had been closed for five months and the geode had been in the back corner of my house for four-and-a-half years without ever falling over, didn't matter apparently. He would not pay me the $800 it cost to replace it.

I have no ill feelings toward Jose. He is doing the best he can to make a living to provide for his family and retire. He works very hard and plays equally hard. I also am very aware that Jose is a great gift to me. He is part of my life plan to transform, evolve and grow. He showed up to show me my pattern. I have tremendous compassion and gratitude for him and his family. I finally stood up to an angry yelling man with big energy without running away. YAY! YAY for me! I grew some cojones! I did it without having to yell, swear or get angry.

Manifesting A Beautiful, Safe Home

Placerita Canyon

For over a year, I had been asking the Universe, "How can I find a small home, perfect for me in a place I love, that will accept me with six animals that would be safe and affordable?" 

Alpharetta, Georgia 

On my way to a Oneness meditation with my friend Shannon, I asked the Universe after a particularly challenging day with Jose, "Who do I need to talk to about a place to rent?" I had a vision of Shannon's face. I asked her that night before we began to meditate. "I need to move, do you have any ideas or suggestions?" Shannon responded with a huge smile, "You can move into my guest house!" Shannon had been renting her apartment out on Air B&B and wanted someone in her place that was steady, rather than having to be responsible for the upkeep and cleaning of it herself. It was clearly a win-win for us both. 

I made sure that Shannon was okay with all my pets. She said she was. When I went by to sign the deposit form, I brought my dogs with me. They didn't want to leave. Karma was so happy to be around horses and wide open spaces with a green lawn and not just sand. My dogs confirmed for me that all was well with this situation. I paid a $500 pet deposit to her to hold the place. 

The Universe loves win-win situations!

To be honest, I love the approach to my friend's home. Every time I drove to her Oneness Blessing event I would revel in the natural beauty, trees, and houses. Shannon and her husband have a five-acre ranch with five horses, goats, and a miniature horse. She is a meditator, Oneness Blessing Trainer and on the same page spiritually as me. She is also a healer.

Her home is as beautiful as she is inside and out. Moving to her ranch would mean I would be 53 miles closer to Los Angeles which is of great benefit. The town of Santa Clarita is right around the corner from her; only ten minutes away. 

I wouldn't have to drive two hours to get to LA to do workshops and presentations. The homes surrounding her place were all beautiful and upscale. The only issue? The rent is double what I pay in the desert. I have to come up with $3,000 by May 1st for my first and last month's rent.

• My logical mind says I can't afford it.
• My heart says I'll be more prosperous living around prosperous people
• My dogs say, "WE LOVE THIS PLACE!"
• My guidance over a year ago was that I would leave this little house in the desert with only a few items. 
• Shannon's place is furnished!
• Again, I am being given the opportunity to shed unwanted belongings and begin anew in a much simpler way.

How To Overcome The Sticker Shock?

Maybe, just maybe I need to be closer to the people who can use and afford my services. Living in Santa Clarita puts me in front of a huge number of people who are interested in coaching and spiritual evolution. My dogs are in doggie heaven on her ranch. Karma is as happy there as she is at the beach. In fact, last night when I put both dogs in the car after touring her property, Karma didn't want to leave. She was stonily silent the entire ride home. She was letting me know she has already made the move to our new location!

The Ass-Kicker!

After making the decision to move to my friend's ranch in May (as soon as the Mercury Retrograde ends May 3rd), I walked to the post office and returned a short while later. I had left the house closed up. Without ventilation, I smelled urine. Sure it could be said, I have plenty of reason to smell urine, I have four cats! My intuition told me it was black mold. I immediately got on my computer and googled, "What does black mold smell like?" You guessed it, URINE! Mold that takes hold in the desert is tenacious as it has had to adapt to drier conditions.

All the rain the past six months that had pooled inside my ceiling and even poured down the interior walls of my little home had caused the drywall to become soggy and wet. Given that the attic and interior of the ceiling didn't see the light of day, the combination of the leaking roof has caused black mold to grow in the drywall and attic. I reported a leak to my landlord seven times since September of 2016.

The Universe Is Always And In Every Way Supporting Us

The Universe is making sure that I heed my intuition and move even though the rent is double. Connecting the dots, I had an alcoholic landlord who didn't want to fix things in Georgia. I ended up moving and losing everything I owned due to black mold. Again, in California, I have an alcoholic landlord, where I stood up to and changed my pattern allowing healing to occur. I am not afraid of Jose any longer. The drywall is just double insurance that I won't back down and will boldly move to a place that is double the rent with the faith that I will be supported as I always am. 

Why I didn't Report My Landlord

I checked with the Department of Health and the Code Compliance Department in my local government. I was told that the only thing they would make a landlord do once black mold is detected is to paint over the mold. Anyone who has had black mold knows that paint doesn't cure or kill mold. It was pointless for me to take any action that would be so useless. The Law of Karma will take care of this man. I don't have to make him pay The Universe will. It is the Universal Law.  

Truth

As long as we are in a human body we will be working on our issues. When we don't heal and clear issues we become stagnant and unhealthy. Physical ailments will surface until we eliminate the root cause which is always emotional in nature. When we declare we want total enlightenment and evolution, situations will continue to arise so that we can release the past and heal. When we let go of old hurts and limiting beliefs or patterns our energy is raised and we move to a higher level. Thinking we are "DONE" is quite funny. We will never be done until we become fully enlightened like Buddha or Jesus.

What patterns do you have that you have lived with your entire life? What are you avoiding? What are you still afraid of?

With Gratitude for you!

Join me Monday, March 27th night for a New Moon Celestial Clearing with Divine energy, The Ascended Masters Saint Germaine, Serapis Bey, Babji, Quan Yin, Jesus, and even Henry Ford. There are a group of 13 beings that I work with to do the deeply transformative work I do. Sign up by sending me an e-mail with your name at JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com  

this way I will work on your specific energy field. 

The cost of this magnificent event is a suggested $5.00 to $20.00. More or less is appreciated. The Paypal link is here. Add the dollar value you choose. Change the end of the link to be the dollar value you choose + /5.00   Visit my website: JenniferElizabethMasters.com

With so much love,

Jennifer

Are You Avoiding Life?

As an observer of life, I watch men and women. I watch couples interact as well as single people. Recently, I have been astounded at the absence of mindfulness in the men I have encountered. Two men, let doors slam in my face as I entered the buildings after them. I talked to those men and this is what I found.

Both men were terribly distracted. When I brought their actions, gently to their attention, they were both very apologetic and told me that they didn't realize what they had done till afterward. One was going through a divorce and clearly had other things on his mind, he later asked me out on Facebook. I declined. 

The second one was married. He made excuses. It was his cell phone, his computer, texting.... I asked him if he treated his wife with such disregard he said sheepishly, "No." I know this can't be true. I asked if they were still having sex? He looked surprised at my question. I told him if he was so absent-minded and disconnected during his day, he was most likely missing the boat with his sexual encounters as well.

As You Do One Thing Is How You Do Everything

If you are not present during your work day, you will not be present at home with your wife and family either. 

If you are aggressive on the road and cut women off, rather than let them go ahead of you, you will also be aggressive in your relationship with women.

If you are shut down to the idea of sex and being intimate with your partner, you are also shut down emotionally for yourself and life. You will not be experiencing life to it's fullest potential. 

Cluttered Home - Cluttered Mind - Cluttered Body

Is your home cluttered with collections, magazines, newspaper and mail? If so, you are an emotional hoarder. You have difficulty letting go of the past, you will continue to be angry about things when it is more than beyond the time you need to let it go and move on. 

If your home is cluttered, your car is probably also. As you do one thing, is how you do everything.

A woman I have worked with complaints about her husband hanging on to magazines, books, and newspapers. Yet, she also has stacks of magazines, a slew of clutter on her bathroom counter top and oodles of unworn brand new clothes in her closet. The very things we criticize our partners for are our own issues as well. Look inside rather than pointing fingers at others.

If your home is cluttered, you most likely need to do a colon cleanse. Read my previous article about digestive hoarding. Digestive issues can kill you. 

Get your digestive tract cleansed and let go of all that crap stuck inside of you. Emotional issues will also be released. A colon cleanse cleanses more than just the body, it also cleanses the mind, emotions and raises your energetic vibration. Think about it this way, all those meals you have eaten over the years with food additives and undigested foods are stuck in the colon, making absorption next to impossible. You are literally starving to death as we speak due to your body's inability to completely digest your food.

Holding Hands And Kissing

Are you affectionate with your partner? If not, why not? Most people that are not affectionate with their partners are also not kind and loving with themselves. The more kind and nurturing you are with you, the more in touch with your partner you will also be. You can't expect someone to want to have sex with you, if you don't express love to them or yourself. 

Sex for women is an emotional experience, but it begins in the mind. We can't have sex with our men when you are being an ass, or have forgotten our birthday, anniversary or are just plain disconnected. Kiss your partner. Act like you care. Be present. Tell her or him how beautiful they are - often.

How To Be Present When You Are As Disconnected As A Lamp

I understand feeling disconnected. When I was first starting my healing path, I was absent-minded, fragmented, living in the past and the future and an emotional landmine. I reacted at the drop of a hat. I felt more than a little crazy. Considering what I went through in my childhood, none of that is outrageous. Be patient with yourself. Follow my steps for becoming present, mindful and connected to who you truly are, an amazing, loving, kind and gentle person. Loving kindness is the core of who you are. Breathe that in. Love is your soul essence. Consider giving yourself some compassion along the way, in turn we all become more compassionate with others when we are compassionate with ourselves.

1. Breathe Deeply. The fastest way to get back into your body and get grounded is to breathe deeply. Most people are barely breathing. When you breathe shallowly, you are not affirming life. Affirm life. Breathe in slowly. Exhale slowly and completely. Feel the aliveness in your body when you do. There is nothing to be afraid of. This is you. Breathe in the love. Breathe in the present. Breathe in life.
2. Silence. Sit is complete silence twice a day beginning with 10 minutes. You don't have to sit in the Lotus position, cross-legged. Sit up straight. Breathe. Turn your eyes upward towards the ceiling to shut down the mind chatter. Then close them. With your eyelids shut, turn your eyeballs upwards towards your hairline. This will keep your mind quiet. Shut off your television. Shut off your cell phone. "Oh my God! Shut off the cell phone, what if someone wants to reach me?" They will call back or leave a message. It is okay. Many people are afraid to be alone with themselves in quiet. I promise you, your life will improve when you begin to revel in the silence every day. 
3. Connect. Go outside, walk out in nature. Connect with the earth. Nature, plants, trees, birds will help you recognize your
   
   own Divinity within. Walk barefoot. Touch or hug a tree. Ask the tree to take away your burdens. Then say thank you when it does. Trees have a consciousness and will communicate with you. They love it when we talk to them. Sounds crazy? I certainly don't care what others think of me, you shouldn't either. 
4. Notice. Begin to notice what you are thinking, saying and feeling. Noticing is called raising your awareness. Do your best to stay positive, think positively. As with anything new, it takes practice to train your brain to be positive. When you do it
   
   consistently, you will feel happier, life will be easier. We create with our thoughts. Make your world a better place by thinking lovingly about you and everyone around you.
5. Feel Your Feelings Fully. Most of us try to run away from our feelings. We do this with exercise, work, sex, alcohol, drugs, spending and food. Running away from our feelings keeps us stuck in denial and trapped in the past. We have to feel our feelings fully, sitting with what we have coming up and allow the feelings to pass through us. Running away is avoidance of reality, life and what is. I know I did this for years. I was an expert at avoidance. You cannot be fully present for sex, love or any part of a relationship if you cannot be present with yourself and feel fully.

When we are disconnected from ourselves, we are also disconnected from our partners. Our conversations are shallow and meaningless. Sex takes on a cursory note - lifeless as if going through the motions. We don't show up for our kids fully present, we don't work to our best ability and we don't succeed in life when we are

not fully present. 

Living life to the fullest means turning all the lights on, igniting our soul, living in our passion - fully alive in every breath. I want this for you. Living in a state of gratitude for what we have now allows us to appreciate life more, it is how I live my life. 

Meaningful and Thriving

Life is more meaningful when you are fully present. Your conversations mean something to the people you connect with. Sexual encounters are amazing when you are fully present, connected to yourself and your partner in the moment. Your partner notices that you are fully present - there with them, fully, attentive, feeling everything actively, rather than thinking about what we want to say to make our point instead. 

When we are not in our bodies, we are afraid of who we are. We are afraid of feeling our emotions fully. We shy away from deep connections and eye contact. We are not being true to ourselves or our partners when we are disconnected from ourselves. If you liked this article, please comment below, or share it with a friend. I appreciate you being here. I love you! Thank you to all of you have been following me and reading my blogs. To the Russian people, our ancestors are from a similar family tree. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters has been on her personal healing journey for over 30 years. Her own awakening changed her life in so many positive ways. She shares her knowledge, compassion and understanding with you, her clients. To receive your personal one-on-one discovery session of 40 minutes, e-mail Jennifer now, to see if her work is a good fit for your growth process. 

If you have struggled with relationships and life and are tired of going it alone, Jennifer will give you the support, impetus, and tools to support your journey and empower you along the way. You will find your passion when you work with Jennifer. Jennifer is a gifted catalyst, who's voice heals. She uses six different modalities to help her clients clear, shift and eliminate baggage, depression, sadness, suicide programs and addictions. Her books are available on Amazon.com

On The Road Home To Love

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

The love of one's country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border? Pablo Casals

Yesterday I flew from Denver to Toronto, Canada, the place of my birth for a family reunion. My flight was delayed before we were able to board. After boarding we had mechanical difficulties which caused us to sit for an hour and a half in the blazing sun, stifling onboard our aircraft without air conditioning. 

The high temperatures affected each of us differently. In difficult situations, I like to make light of them. Seated with a group of Burlington firefighters, a mechanic, an IT guy, all from BFD (Not Big Fu**ing Deal, but Burlington Fire Department) we made light of our ordeal and discomfort enjoying each other's company. I was reminded of my roots and the camaraderie of being with fellow countrymen. 

Though I have lived in the US for 36 years, more than half of my life, and love the United States, and those that I share this beautiful country with, I recognized that the roots of our early beginnings, country, parents, and programming have a profound effect on our lives. In fact, our earliest programming can affect us for the rest of our lives. 

We can love the place we live, those around us and our family. We have the love for our partners, our pets, and friends. We can love our work, what we do and have a love of nature. Going home to the place of our birth brings us back to old memories of growing up.

Driving through the Ontario countryside, witnessing the beauty, Maple trees and fields of corn, wheat, smelling the freshly mowed hay I was reminded of the contrast between the dry tan colored desert and my beautiful homeland. My heart filled with feelings of love for this country that I left so long ago.

Though many years have passed since I left Ontario, the feelings of love I have for its beauty, expansive fields, and countryside, are part of who I am. Our past is part of who we are and will always remain so. Rather than attempting to cut out those parts of our past that contain pain, or sorrow, they are woven into the beautiful tapestry of who we become and who we are. Loving ourselves and forgiving those who have given us life, even if it wasn't the kind of love we wanted is imperative for us to be able to fully love others.

Love of those who have been a part of our experience is always with us, long after our divorce, breakups or death finally separate us.

Memories of learning how to swim, water ski and sailing a boat by myself began to stir from deep within. My father has been gone now for twenty-six years, a very long time. I still remember how he taught me how to swim in Lake of Bays, backing up away from me, while I shrieked, encouraging me to keep swimming. That never giving up attitude and to keep swimming continues to serve me today. 

Our parents instill in us programs both positive and negative that can encourage or block us in our lives. Programming from childhood is the deepest ingrained in our unconscious. Energy clearings and hypnotherapy can be used to clear the negative limiting beliefs that block us from being and having what we desire. 

Recurring Patterns

On my very first morning waking up in Canada, my mother was irritated with me that I had to locate an Internet cafe (Tim Horton's) to write my blog. Her desire to control me is still present after sixty some years. I have changed, but she hasn't. Her issues aren't mine. My independence and self-love guide me. Instead of trying to please my mother, I do what is best for me. My inner compass is stronger than my need to make her happy. I recognize that her issues aren't mine. I love my mother, but I love myself even more.

Acceptance of Others

Mom is ninety-four. Although she has mellowed in many ways, she is still who she is. I can choose to accept her the way she is, or fight with her. I choose to accept her as she is. I cannot change her and have no desire to. I choose to love her as she is and be true to myself. 

Our family of origin take us back to our roots and remind us of how far we have come. Celebrate your successes. Enjoy the ride, however, bumpy it may be. It is up to us to make good choices, react, or witness. I could complain about my mother or enjoy her company. I choose the latter. 

Jennifer is a healer that clears limiting beliefs, blocks, and self-sabotage from the past so that you can have the life, love and happiness you desire. A healed healer herself, she helps others overcome anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, shame, insecurities that block you from having healthy relationships and happiness. 

Connect with Jennifer to schedule your free discovery

session to see if her work is a good fit for your happiness. 

Find Jennifer's books on Amazon.com

Stop Attracting Bad Boys Who Cheat With These Tips

Women think that they know what they want. We look for and seek out the sexy, hard edged bad boy. When he treats us badly and sleeps with our best friend, or mother, we wonder what the hell happened? Yet, what do we expect? We picked someone who is a rebel, selfish, self centered and disloyal. 

Why are some women like the moth to the flame? We can't wait to self destruct? Afterwards, we cry to our friends about what an ass hole the guy was. When unconsciously we knew all along that this person would show us his true colors.

Sean Penn

Having been one of these women in the past, I longed for the sexy, hard-edged bad boy. The one all women would be attracted to. Women have a tendency to throw themselves at bad boys, at least I did. When we pick the really HOT GUY, usually there are many women vying for his attention and affection. The problem is that these bad boys are only reflecting back to us, the way we feel about ourselves - self-destructive, self-sabotaging and hateful.

Yes, when we look for the bad boys, we do it because we hurt ourselves with our thoughts. We are self-sabotaging. We attract someone to us that will hurt us the way we hurt ourselves. 

These bad boys are only a reflection of the inner workings of our mind. We feel unworthy for someone who will treat us like a Queen, so we attract a man who will show us our unworthiness. They will prove to us that a man can't be faithful to us. We feel undeserving, and they reflect that right back to us. These men don't apologize and are never at fault, they blame their women for their issues, whether they are alcohol related or sexual indiscretions.

Self-loathing is something we don't like to admit. When we expect perfection in ourselves, we are filled with an inner self-loathing. 

We don't accept ourselves as we are. If you are one of these women who always seems to lean towards the bad boys, this is showing you your own lack of self-worth. We constantly tell ourselves we are not good enough. We beat ourselves up, looking to be perfect but miss the mark entirely. 

Fast Life, fast cars, James Dean consummate bad boy

The truth is we are already perfect as we are. We are perfect in our imperfection. We have nothing to change, nothing to heal. All we have to do is begin to love and accept ourselves as we are. When we let go of our need to be perfect, we recognize we have already arrived. We are already there. We have already WON!

What Others Think of YOU is none of your business!

Worrying about what others think of us shows us our lack of self-love. When you truly love yourself, you don't need to be validated by the outside world, your parents, siblings or friends. You already know who you are and are happy with you. 

Focusing on what others think shows you that you have not stepped into your personal power. Your power is in there, under the insecurities. It needs to be dusted off so that you can see your sparkly interior. Seeing the beauty within you, loving what you see, rather than chastising yourself, or feeling loathing or hatred when you look at yourself naked is key. We have to love all of us, not just a piece or a portion. We can't cut off an arm, leg or a part of ourselves that we don't like. We all have faults, personality traits that aren't stellar and they need some tender loving care. 

Instead of being the tough Mother Superior with the metal edged ruler that beats us every time we don't choose well, soften your gaze. Look at yourself with eyes of love. Treat yourself like a newborn baby.

Instead loving acceptance and compassion for who we are leads to fulfillment and internal permanent happiness.

Eventually......We Begin To Learn

I used to go for the bad boys. They were not faithful. They treated me badly. They treated ME the way I treated myself inside. 

I didn't respect myself and they were disrespectful to me. It was all mirrored right back to me. All they were doing was reflecting back to me my internal circuitry of insecurity, lack of self-worth and self-hatred. 

I thought I loved myself. I didn't. Loving yourself is not just saying, "I love me." It is feeling it in the depth of your soul from the deepest part of your being. 

When you love yourself, you love life. You have a passion for living that makes everything come alive. Your purpose is evident. You live on purpose each day in every moment. You live in the present connected to your own Divinity within you. You feel connected to everything and love everyone. Loving acceptance of you, means you stop judging and CRITICISING  yourself and everyone else as well. 

When you love yourself you see the beauty in others as well as within.

It is So Much Easier To See Fault In Others

When our self-esteem is low, we easily see fault in everyone else. We point out other's mistakes. We try to change others. This focus on others takes the focus off ourselves. Seeing fault in others means you are in denial of your own issues. 

When We Are In Denial We Attract Liars and Cheaters 

Denial is one of the underlying signs of addiction. Codependency is an addiction. Being addicted to relationships - needing to be in a relationship because of neediness is the worst reason to be in one. Instead, love yourself first. When you love you completely accepting all of yourself you will begin to radiate that light of love out into the world. When you do, you will attract healthy balanced men into your life, rather than one who is addicted, abusive or will cheat on you. 

Until we heal and turn the page on our past, we keep bringing it into our future. JEM

When we attempt to find someone else to fill ourselves up and complete us, we end up attracting another person who has low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem are usually wounded. 

Wounded people hurt others. JEM

I did not have to control everything and everyone. I didn't have to try and change my partner, my children or my mother or make anyone better. I was in denial of my own sense of worth. It was far easier to look at others and see all their imperfections thinking that I was helping them. 

The Big AHA - We Mirror Each Other

When I began to realize that every relationship I had was just a reflection of how I felt about myself, my world began to change. JEM

I realized I was not a victim. Everyone was not out to get me, as I previously thought. The Universe was not hateful. It was just boomeranging the thoughts that I had about me. 

When I began to focus on positive thoughts and asked questions instead of making closed-ended statements, it was like magic. 

Good things began to materialize for me in all areas of my life. Instead of saying to myself life is hard, I began to see how life worked FOR ME! I began to manifest in the moment when I asked: 

"How can I effortlessly and easily attract someone who loves me unconditionally?"

What Are Closed-Ended Statements?

1. Life isn't fair.
2. The world isn't a safe place.
3. Men/women always cheat on me.
4. Everyone is out to get me.
5. No one will ever love me.
6. I am too old.
7. I am too fat.
8. I am not attractive.
9. There is no one out there for me.
10. I am always alone.
11. I will always be alone.
12. I will never find love.

Let go of what everyone else is doing and focus instead on yourself. Look within to see why you are triggered by something someone else does or says? You recognize that the reaction you had is YOURS! Hence when you are angered by something - you are not a victim, you are just experiencing an internal issue of your own surfacing. 

When someone cuts you off on the road, if you get angry it is not that they are doing something TO YOU, your internal issues of being powerless are coming up for you to see. You are not powerless. Obviously, that person was in a much bigger hurry and needed to get where they were going faster than you. That is all. Take care of you. Give to you, rather than everyone else first. Often people-pleasing women are the ones who keep attracting men who cheat, lie and leave. Give yourself acceptance and forgiveness.

The next time you look at a hot guy that you know in your heart will screw around on you, have compassion for you and love yourself some more. Look at where you have abandonment issues. Remember how Jennifer Anniston felt when Brad had an affair with Angelina Jolie. Awful! Sure he was cute. Yes, he was hot, but he broke her heart. Is this what you want for yourself?

Love is not supposed to hurt. Love does not ridicule, disrespect, abuse, abandon, or cause harm. 

Begin Loving You Right NOW!

1. Let go of trying to be perfect.
2. Ask yourself, "How do I lie and cheat myself?"
3. Stop worrying about what others think about you.
4. Stop trying to please others. You will end up resentful and angry.
5. Look at yourself with eyes of love.
6. Stop beating yourself up with thoughts and words.
7. Soften your focus. Think of yourself as a newborn baby. You would not beat up, or think negatively about a newborn baby, neither should you of yourself.
8. Know you are already ENOUGH!
9. You are WORTHY!
10. You are lovable!

If you continue to attract men that treat you badly, it is time for you to hire a coach that can help you clear your unconscious patterns and change your perspective. You don't have to change. Instead, begin to look at yourself with a softer gaze. 

Let go of the baseball bat and the magnifying glass that you view yourself through. Jennifer has healed her own self-loathing and low self-esteem. She has been where you are and has compassion and understanding for you. At the same time, Jennifer will be direct, clear and help you see things differently. If you are ready to have permanent and lasting happiness, positivity in all areas of your life and live your soul purpose, you have come to the right place.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of two books and is working on her third, Happy Here, Happy Anywhere The Step-by-Step Guide To Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without A Perscription!

Her latest is Orgasm For Life available on Amazon.com. Jennifer is a healed healer, having healed past childhood trauma and sexual abuse, sexual dysfunction, and depression. When she began to love herself, her pain, illness, diseases - Fibromyalgia, and Epstein-Barr syndrome magically disappeared. Your thoughts create illness and pain in your body. Healing self-loathing can heal the pain in your body as well as change your life. 

Schedule your FREE 30-minute session with Jennifer to work through an issue, or see how working with Jennifer will change your life for the better. Live your purpose with PASSION. Live a passion filled life. Have a book within you that is bursting to come out? Jennifer is holding a retreat this fall to teach aspiring authors to channel their own book. E-mail Jennifer NOW: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

Jennifer's website is: AphroditeEffect.com

I would love to hear your comments below. How attracting bad boys affected you and your life? Have you given up on men? If so why?