Why Some Marriages Are Sexless

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

For those living in a sexless marriage, touch, snuggling, kissing and even hugging are things of the past. Rejection, frustration, abandonment and a feeling of being unloved permeate these marriages.  How do so many marriages end up with sex taken off the table, never mind out of the bedroom?

Both men and women can be rejected in sexless marriages. Having been in one myself for a short while, I feel tremendous compassion for you. A marriage that is considered sexless if you have sex no more than 10 times in a year. Approximately 15 to 20% of couples define themselves as being in a sexless marriage.

Newsweek stated that married couples have sex just over 68 times a year or 6.9 times more per year than single people or those who have never been married. 

Your relationship may seem normal and happy from the outside, you've raised your children, you may even vacation together, but when sex isn't happening once a week, couples begin to snipe at one another, or feel resentful and angry. 

What Is The Problem?

Each couple may have a different source for the disconnect. These are some of the reasons one party doesn't want to be sexually intimate with the other.

1. They don't like sex. 
2. They don't like sex with the opposite sex but can't tell you, as they are too ashamed. The lie they are living is too hard to tell you. Many people marry the opposite sex because it is what is expected either from religion, culture or society. The coverup continues because of guilt, fear or shame. Have you noticed how older women and men are coming out after being married for years? Some have the courage to do so, while others are too afraid of losing family connection, so they keep their homosexuality under wraps.
3. They fear intimacy. Most people have no idea that they fear intimacy. A fear of intimacy required counseling, coaching, and encouragement to break through. A fear of intimacy won't go away without some effort, negotiation and professional help. Spiritually Bonded Intimacy will help you.
4. They don't like the person you have become or that they have gotten to know. We have to like each other to want to have sex regularly with them. Perhaps you have done something they don't like, you don't smell good, aren't clean enough, or just aren't what or the type of person they are attracted to today.
5. After childbirth, many women feel they have done their duty and don't feel sexual, sexy or attractive. Sex can become a chore. Some women find sex something to be feared because they don't want to become pregnant again. 
6. Menopause can cause challenges and symptoms that make sex too uncomfortable and they aren't motivated enough to do something about it. There are bioidentical hormones, ThermiVa a non-surgical laser treatment that increases collagen, elasticity, youthfulness as well as moisture in the vagina. 
7. They are shut down emotionally. Sexual abuse from childhood can cause both men and women to have issues with sex later in life. The issue of molestation doesn't go away when you ignore it. Get some coaching with someone like me that has healed the trauma of sexual abuse. Or visit a Tantra class. 
8. They have low self-esteem. Self-esteem when healthy includes a healthy self-image and positive feelings about sex. When we don't feel good about ourselves, we may feel uncomfortable and unsexy when naked. Low self-esteem can be remedied and is the foundational work that I do for my clients.
9. They are depressed. Depression and antidepressants remove the desire for sex. Get help for your depression. I do clearings for people that alleviate this issue. 

Don't Ignore This Issue It Won't Go Away

I married a man after dating for six months, he was all in a rush to get married. He hid the fact that he preferred men from me. He wasn't out of the closet, in fact after we divorced, he married another woman because his religion didn't allow homosexuality. I wrote an article about how homosexual men still marry women to keep their secret safe from their church, family, friends and their professional career. The truth is that God doesn't make mistakes. If you are born homosexual, there was no mistake. We are meant to learn from this lifetime. Perhaps your gift in this life is to learn how to be more loving of yourself no matter what. 


We need to know someone well before we commit to marriage. Often we are so focused on the getting married part that we ignore the red flags we see along the way to the wedding. A marriage is much more than friendship. Marriage is friendship with benefits. If you don't plan on having sex after the marriage, don't get married. 

The bottom line is that living in a sexless marriage is like being on board a ship full of dead bodies. There was beauty there once, but not anymore. It feels dead, disconnected and cold in a sexless marriage. Sex helps to keep a couple connected, intimate so that they can talk about anything. When we aren't having sex regularly communication breaks down, and a wall is created that keeps us apart, segregated and feeling isolated. 

Negativity comes in filling the void which eventually feels like you are not in a marriage at all but just roommates. Marriage is a loving connection between two people which involves a commitment to be sexual, close and connected. A sexless marriage isn't loving. Get some help now! Your problems won't go away by ignoring them. 

Audible: Orgasm For Life narrated and written by yours truly!

Read my book Orgasm For Life a clearly written guide to deep intimacy, connection, compassion, and understanding what your partner needs. Orgasm For Life is an in-depth look at oral, touch, G-spot, orgasm and communicating about sex without embarrassment or angst. This book will turn you on, power you up and bring light into areas of darkness. It is humorous and written with compassion for both sexes.


Sources:

30 Odd Sexless Marriage Statistics

WebMed Are You In A Sexless Marriage?

Definition of A Sexless Marriage

Peace, Love and Joy Today And Always

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Our soul needs to be fed. We feed our soul with the beauty of nature, music, meditation, chanting and filling ourselves with love. When we are grounded in the present we witness world events and can laugh at what is happening rather than being caught up in the back-biting and ego-driven words on FaceBook and elsewhere. It is possible, following are suggestions that work for me, feel them out and test the waters as they may work for you as well. 

When we live in the present moment knowing each moment is perfect we stop worrying about the outer world and see it for the amazing perfection that it is. JEM

Those that know me know that I have adult children. Some are more adult than others. They are all making their way. In the middle of my day, my daughter might call. Within a few seconds, I can be lambasted for something I haven't done or lashed out at for no reason. It happens. My daughter is angry. Her father died when she was only sixteen. I recognize that these are her issues, not mine. She is making her way in life, just as I did long ago. I don't take on her pain. I don't attempt to fix her. I guide her when she is prepared to listen and shut up when she isn't. 

I know we can only control ourselves. We can't make anyone else happy but ourselves. I stopped trying to "fix" others a long time ago. Being a guide is very different than trying to fix another. 

If my peace has been shattered by an angry person, I will stop and take a walk in nature, or meditate. I sit silently, breathing deeply. In a few seconds I am back, grounded and peace filled once again. Meditation doesn't mean you won't have thoughts. Meditation is a focus in spite of the thoughts. Chanting a mantra helps to move us through a noisy mind.

Not Everyone Is Where We Are

The people we encounter may not be on the same page as we are. We have to allow others to have their experience and not allow their experience to taint ours. You can say in your mind, "That's not part of my reality," or something similar to shift your mind back to what you do want. Respond with love and compassion to others and watch how the world shifts.

Life Is Happening As It Needs To With Perfection

Whether our partner or government is doing what we think they need to be or others aren't doing what we feel they need to, it is all perfect. Thinking that things should be different than they are means we out of alignment. It's all good. It's all perfect. Donald Trump is doing exactly what he needs to do to encourage more people's shadow material (negative emotions) to surface and heal.

If we are triggered by something that happens it isn't the other person's fault. The triggers that are within us to show us we have an issue. Getting angry with the person that pushes the button is misplaced blame. We aren't victims. Life doesn't happen to us, it happens for us! Be compassionate toward yourself and those that trigger you. 

You might want to read my article about whether we really need to say some of the things we do to others. Does It Really Need To Be Said?  Once we begin to turn inward we usually find that the trigger was within us or we wouldn't have been triggered at all. Compassion is so much softer than judgment. Turn the compassion inward, breathe it in fully.



If you feel like crying, allow yourself to cry. It may be the fastest way to move through to the other side of the strong emotions. 

Avoidance And The Pain It Creates

Ignoring issues and stuffing emotions causes illness. Our emotions are meant to move. If you have been told to stop crying as a child or an adult you probably have issues speaking up for yourself, like me. I had to work very diligently to move beyond being silent when I was upset. 

My parents didn't allow us to express emotions, like so many at that time. They didn't know any better. Kids were taught to put up or shut up. The truth of the matter is that we grew up with emotional neglect.  (Watch for a future article about emotional neglect next.) When we fear conflict, we keep silent. Our partners and loved ones don't recognize why we are upset because we are unable to communicate effectively. 

How To Meditate

Sit upright in a chair, bed or in the lotus position. You don't have to sit in the lotus position, but it does help to shut down energies to quiet the mind while meditating. Sitting upright is important. The spine needs to be straight to allow the chakras to be open, aligned and energy to flow. 

Gayan or Jnana Mudra

A mudra is a hand and finger position. We have five elements within us, each of our fingers represent a different element. The thumb represents the element of fire. The index finger represents air. Holding these two together in the Gayan mudra quiets the mind by increasing concentration and is a gesture of knowledge and creativity. Placing your hands gently to rest on our thighs provides grounding. Holding the hands in the air, palms upward when feeling receptive allows you to receive.

Place your hands, gently on your thighs or knees. Any mind chatter you have about not needing to put your thumb and index finger together is ego-based. Ignore it. Thinking you can't meditate is also just mind chatter. Ignore that too. I can't tell you how many people I have helped (including me) to move beyond negative thoughts about, not being able to meditate or do many other things well. Allow those thoughts to drift away. Put them in a blue balloon and let them float away if it helps you to do so.

Breathe deeply. Inhale filling your lungs as full as you can get them and exhale slowly. Experience your breathing notice how it feels, sounds and how calming a simple breath can be. 

Use A Mantra To Quiet The Mind

Mantras give the active mind something to do so that the errant thoughts quiet. A mantra creates a blissful mind quickly. You can fight it, you can say you don't want to, but the sooner you begin to use mantras, the faster the mind quiets. The following are mantras you can use. The first two are elements of my video below. The Divine Presence Process Mantra is a powerful meditation that allows you to give and receive love. 

I am the Divine Light inside me.

I love me

I am love

Om 

Resistance is what show us when you argue with a suggestion that will help you. Resistance causes suffering. Suffering is always optional. 

When we can stay present in the moment and be okay with whatever is going on, we begin to experience wonderment and joy no matter what. I am not saying that we might not feel trepidation with preparations of war or unrest in the world. However, we can shift quickly to be feeling peace by turning inward rather than focusing on what is wrong with the world. 


When we can be okay with what is life is sweeter. We become happier, focused on each moment rather than sitting in expectation and fear of the worst thing happening. Food tastes better, we have more joy in nature and the small things in life that surround us. 


We notice the smallest of details, the nuances of life, rather than focusing on the worst that might happen. Joy is found within us, not in the world. The feelings of joy are within you, allow me to help you uncover your inner joy and set up a discovery session with me to find your joy, bliss, and happiness inside you. Visit Jennifer's website: JenniferElizabethMasters.com

Find Jennifer's books on Amazon.com

Are You Avoiding Life?

As an observer of life, I watch men and women. I watch couples interact as well as single people. Recently, I have been astounded at the absence of mindfulness in the men I have encountered. Two men, let doors slam in my face as I entered the buildings after them. I talked to those men and this is what I found.

Both men were terribly distracted. When I brought their actions, gently to their attention, they were both very apologetic and told me that they didn't realize what they had done till afterward. One was going through a divorce and clearly had other things on his mind, he later asked me out on Facebook. I declined. 

The second one was married. He made excuses. It was his cell phone, his computer, texting.... I asked him if he treated his wife with such disregard he said sheepishly, "No." I know this can't be true. I asked if they were still having sex? He looked surprised at my question. I told him if he was so absent-minded and disconnected during his day, he was most likely missing the boat with his sexual encounters as well.

As You Do One Thing Is How You Do Everything

If you are not present during your work day, you will not be present at home with your wife and family either. 

If you are aggressive on the road and cut women off, rather than let them go ahead of you, you will also be aggressive in your relationship with women.

If you are shut down to the idea of sex and being intimate with your partner, you are also shut down emotionally for yourself and life. You will not be experiencing life to it's fullest potential. 

Cluttered Home - Cluttered Mind - Cluttered Body

Is your home cluttered with collections, magazines, newspaper and mail? If so, you are an emotional hoarder. You have difficulty letting go of the past, you will continue to be angry about things when it is more than beyond the time you need to let it go and move on. 

If your home is cluttered, your car is probably also. As you do one thing, is how you do everything.

A woman I have worked with complaints about her husband hanging on to magazines, books, and newspapers. Yet, she also has stacks of magazines, a slew of clutter on her bathroom counter top and oodles of unworn brand new clothes in her closet. The very things we criticize our partners for are our own issues as well. Look inside rather than pointing fingers at others.

If your home is cluttered, you most likely need to do a colon cleanse. Read my previous article about digestive hoarding. Digestive issues can kill you. 

Get your digestive tract cleansed and let go of all that crap stuck inside of you. Emotional issues will also be released. A colon cleanse cleanses more than just the body, it also cleanses the mind, emotions and raises your energetic vibration. Think about it this way, all those meals you have eaten over the years with food additives and undigested foods are stuck in the colon, making absorption next to impossible. You are literally starving to death as we speak due to your body's inability to completely digest your food.

Holding Hands And Kissing

Are you affectionate with your partner? If not, why not? Most people that are not affectionate with their partners are also not kind and loving with themselves. The more kind and nurturing you are with you, the more in touch with your partner you will also be. You can't expect someone to want to have sex with you, if you don't express love to them or yourself. 

Sex for women is an emotional experience, but it begins in the mind. We can't have sex with our men when you are being an ass, or have forgotten our birthday, anniversary or are just plain disconnected. Kiss your partner. Act like you care. Be present. Tell her or him how beautiful they are - often.

How To Be Present When You Are As Disconnected As A Lamp

I understand feeling disconnected. When I was first starting my healing path, I was absent-minded, fragmented, living in the past and the future and an emotional landmine. I reacted at the drop of a hat. I felt more than a little crazy. Considering what I went through in my childhood, none of that is outrageous. Be patient with yourself. Follow my steps for becoming present, mindful and connected to who you truly are, an amazing, loving, kind and gentle person. Loving kindness is the core of who you are. Breathe that in. Love is your soul essence. Consider giving yourself some compassion along the way, in turn we all become more compassionate with others when we are compassionate with ourselves.

1. Breathe Deeply. The fastest way to get back into your body and get grounded is to breathe deeply. Most people are barely breathing. When you breathe shallowly, you are not affirming life. Affirm life. Breathe in slowly. Exhale slowly and completely. Feel the aliveness in your body when you do. There is nothing to be afraid of. This is you. Breathe in the love. Breathe in the present. Breathe in life.
2. Silence. Sit is complete silence twice a day beginning with 10 minutes. You don't have to sit in the Lotus position, cross-legged. Sit up straight. Breathe. Turn your eyes upward towards the ceiling to shut down the mind chatter. Then close them. With your eyelids shut, turn your eyeballs upwards towards your hairline. This will keep your mind quiet. Shut off your television. Shut off your cell phone. "Oh my God! Shut off the cell phone, what if someone wants to reach me?" They will call back or leave a message. It is okay. Many people are afraid to be alone with themselves in quiet. I promise you, your life will improve when you begin to revel in the silence every day. 
3. Connect. Go outside, walk out in nature. Connect with the earth. Nature, plants, trees, birds will help you recognize your
   
   own Divinity within. Walk barefoot. Touch or hug a tree. Ask the tree to take away your burdens. Then say thank you when it does. Trees have a consciousness and will communicate with you. They love it when we talk to them. Sounds crazy? I certainly don't care what others think of me, you shouldn't either. 
4. Notice. Begin to notice what you are thinking, saying and feeling. Noticing is called raising your awareness. Do your best to stay positive, think positively. As with anything new, it takes practice to train your brain to be positive. When you do it
   
   consistently, you will feel happier, life will be easier. We create with our thoughts. Make your world a better place by thinking lovingly about you and everyone around you.
5. Feel Your Feelings Fully. Most of us try to run away from our feelings. We do this with exercise, work, sex, alcohol, drugs, spending and food. Running away from our feelings keeps us stuck in denial and trapped in the past. We have to feel our feelings fully, sitting with what we have coming up and allow the feelings to pass through us. Running away is avoidance of reality, life and what is. I know I did this for years. I was an expert at avoidance. You cannot be fully present for sex, love or any part of a relationship if you cannot be present with yourself and feel fully.

When we are disconnected from ourselves, we are also disconnected from our partners. Our conversations are shallow and meaningless. Sex takes on a cursory note - lifeless as if going through the motions. We don't show up for our kids fully present, we don't work to our best ability and we don't succeed in life when we are

not fully present. 

Living life to the fullest means turning all the lights on, igniting our soul, living in our passion - fully alive in every breath. I want this for you. Living in a state of gratitude for what we have now allows us to appreciate life more, it is how I live my life. 

Meaningful and Thriving

Life is more meaningful when you are fully present. Your conversations mean something to the people you connect with. Sexual encounters are amazing when you are fully present, connected to yourself and your partner in the moment. Your partner notices that you are fully present - there with them, fully, attentive, feeling everything actively, rather than thinking about what we want to say to make our point instead. 

When we are not in our bodies, we are afraid of who we are. We are afraid of feeling our emotions fully. We shy away from deep connections and eye contact. We are not being true to ourselves or our partners when we are disconnected from ourselves. If you liked this article, please comment below, or share it with a friend. I appreciate you being here. I love you! Thank you to all of you have been following me and reading my blogs. To the Russian people, our ancestors are from a similar family tree. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters has been on her personal healing journey for over 30 years. Her own awakening changed her life in so many positive ways. She shares her knowledge, compassion and understanding with you, her clients. To receive your personal one-on-one discovery session of 40 minutes, e-mail Jennifer now, to see if her work is a good fit for your growth process. 

If you have struggled with relationships and life and are tired of going it alone, Jennifer will give you the support, impetus, and tools to support your journey and empower you along the way. You will find your passion when you work with Jennifer. Jennifer is a gifted catalyst, who's voice heals. She uses six different modalities to help her clients clear, shift and eliminate baggage, depression, sadness, suicide programs and addictions. Her books are available on Amazon.com

A Love Letter From Your High Self

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

When we can have loving compassion for ourselves no matter what, our lives become better. We are more loving to others when we have the capacity to accept ourselves as we are, without trying to be perfect. The following letter is how your high self feels about you. Your high self is comprised of higher light beings and your soul essence. Enjoy!

My Dearest, 

I love you without boundaries, without conditions. I love every molecule of your body, every microscopic cell of your being. I love your lips your smile, your beautiful eyes with the crinkles around the corners when you laugh. I love the color of your irises when you cry. I love the tears as they fall from your face. I love to hear you laugh. I join you in your joy.

I love you when you are sad. I love you when you are late. I love you when you get flustered, anxious or angry. I love you when you are crying. I love you when you eat ice cream. I love you when you don't know which way to turn. I love you while you sleep. 

I am here for you when you feel lost. I love you when you feel pain. I sit with you in your deepest moment of anguish and comfort you when you feel grief. I am here with you when you experience loss. I am always with you. I always love you. There is never a time I don't love you. 

I join you in your triumphs. I celebrate with you when you win. I am also here when you feel like a loser. It doesn't matter to me whether you win or you lose. I love you no matter what. You are never a loser to me. 

I see your deepest darkest secrets and love you through your guilt and shame. I love you when you rejoice and feel the wonder of nature and your soul. I love you when you are angry when you feel broken - though you never are. You are whole and perfect as you are. 

I love you when you are driven. I love you when you can't get out of bed and feel despair. I love you when you feel depressed and sorrowful. I love you when you can't make a decision. I love you when you beat yourself up. I love you when you create drama and chaos for yourself. I am always here to help you through your darkest night; I will never leave you.

I love you when you feel fat. I love you when you hate your body. I love you when you don't want to exercise. I love you when you stuff your emotions with substances. I love you when you can't speak up for yourself. I love you when you can't trust. I love you when you have no faith. I love you when you are addicted. I love you when you try to fill the void in your heart with a relationship, and it ends badly. I love you through your grieving process. 

I love you when you struggle with others. I love you when you have difficulty at work, at home or with your children. I love you through childbirth and love you when loved ones pass on. I love you when you aren't present. I love you when you are emotional. I love you when you love us.

I love you when you are hopeful. I love you when you are struggling. I love you always. 

You are a radiant being of sparkling light. You are so lovely. You are beautiful. You are bright amazing and brilliant. You are creative and intelligent. You are caring. You are loving. Inside you is a deep compassion for yourself and everyone else. You are love. 

You are worthy. You are my darling. You are my most important person. You are valuable. You are important. You are wondrous, talented brilliant and bright. I see the truth of who you are no matter how you feel. The truth of your being is brilliant light and unconditional love. You are love. You are always loved by me. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter what you think or how you behave. I love you. 

I always love you. No matter what, I am here. I will never leave you. I love you just the way you are. No matter what you do, I love you.

Big Guns, Arizona 

With my undying love and gratitude for you,
xoxoxo


How did this letter make you feel?

Did you feel loved? Did it help you? I would love your feedback.


Visit Jennifer's website: Aphroditeeffect.com

Sign up for her personal and insightful newsletter sharing love and happiness tips and wisdom. 

To book your session with Jennifer while you still can e-mail her at JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

Jennifer is a healer, sex, love, and happiness coach that clears limiting beliefs, blocks, and self-sabotage from the past so that you can have the life, love and happiness you desire. A healed healer herself, she helps others overcome anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, shame, insecurities that block you from having healthy relationships and happiness. 

Connect with Jennifer to schedule your free discovery

session to see if her work is a good fit for your happiness. 

Find Jennifer's books on Amazon.com

Jennifer is currently working on her third book: 

Happy Here, Happy Anywhere:

The Step-By-Step Guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without A Prescription!

Could This "C" Word Be Missing From Your Bedroom?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

When you think of getting it on, most people are not thinking of compassion. In fact, compassion might be completely missing  from your bedroom. 

Why does compassion need to be a part of your sexual repartee? 

Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.” 

― Dalai Lama XIV

There are many reasons we need to be compassionate with our partners. Flowers, gifts, and dinners out are wonderful. If you aren't bringing compassion into play in your intimate moments you are only fifty percent there. Acting with love doesn't come easily to many people. Our family of origin might not have modeled what love really looks like.

Your partner might be experiencing pain, emotional upset or an inability to become aroused. Without compassion, all of your sexual prowess and expertise fly out the window. If you don't show compassion to your partner when it's needed you may leave them feeling used, alone and misunderstood.

Personally, I am not interested in pity of any sort. It is a low vibrational emotion. 

Compassion in the truest sense of the word is a sympathetic consciousness of empathy of another's distress coupled with a desire to alleviate it.

What can you do to express compassion? 

1. Let go of expectations.

2. Allow yourself to show up heart-centered, and caring.

3. Be fully in the moment. Breathe deeply three times.

4. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel in this 
 situation?

5. Before you touch, ask. "Is it okay if I hug you?" Touch at an inappropriate moment might just piss them off.

6. If you are the one causing the issue say you are sorry. 

7. Admit it if you are in the wrong. 

8. We are all different. Talk about what compassion means to each of you. You might not be on the same page at all. Everyone has their opinion of what compassion means. If you don't agree, talk about it so you understand and can give your partner what they need.

9. Take care of yourself first. Just like on an airplane if you can't breathe, you can't help another. 

Sex and intimacy without compassion can be robotic. Without compassion, we can feel alienated and distanced from our partners. 

A heartfelt apology and gaining a greater understanding of what is going on with your partner can take you to a deeper level of intimacy. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. You might just find that your relationship becomes far more fulfilling when you allow your partner to see your soft underbelly and true essence. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a gifted intuitive, hypnotherapist, Certified love and passion coach, and healer. Her greatest gift is her compassionate nature and understanding. She has been where you are. Jennifer healed her personal trauma, depression and illness through self-love. She became self-actualized in 2012.

Jennifer's soul purpose is to help those struggling with self-esteem and love. Her innate ability to see the root cause of your issues allows you to heal and open more easily to your soul purpose and the love you deserve. To set up an appointment with Jennifer or have a free Discovery Session e-mail her privately here.

Jennifer is currently working on her third book, Happy Here, Happy Anywhere a Step-byStep Guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Depression and Unhappiness Without A Perscription!

How Do You Know When You Are Acting With Love?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Working with women and men struggling with love, it is easy to define what love isn't. This article will give you the understanding of what it means to love another. 

What Love Is Not

1. cruel
2. mean-spirited
3. jealous
4. abusive
5. intentionally hurtful
6. uncaring
7. lacking compassion
8. unsympathetic
9. unkind

Why Relationships Fail

Sacredness is part of a loving relationship. Complaining about your partner to someone else diminishes the sacredness between you. Instead, lift your partner up with your thoughts, focusing on their strengths rather than their weaknesses. Everyone has flaws and faults; love is about accepting them as they are with all their imperfections and loving them anyway.

Every relationship has its challenges. Being supportive rather than derisive will keep you bonded through those difficulties and allow you to grow stronger as a couple. When a storm arises and it will, you will have the foundation to weather the storm together. 

Two Phrases That Show You Are Truly Loving

Love is when you choose to be at your best when the other person is not at their best. Rev. Wintley Phipps

Love is when what you want is never important, but when the other person's needs and wants are always paramount. That is what true love is. Rev. Wintley Phipps

Reverend Wintley Phipps has been happily married for 39 years. He has been on Oprah Winfrey's Super Soul Sundays multiple times. 

Case Study:

Two of my clients have been working with me for several years. They have weathered the storms of life, raising two children and running two households. Now they are working together to support her breast cancer healing through natural means using Gerson Therapy. The root cause of cancer is deep hurt, longstanding resentment eating away at the self. Unless the root cause is healed cancer, no matter how it is eliminated will return, because the cause remains. 

Breast cancer has created challenges for the two of them. However, they have leaned on each other, focusing on each other's needs compassionately. When one is feeling down, the other lifts them up. Love is about lifting up the other when they are down. Compassion, understanding, caring and mutual support is all part of a loving relationship.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE. 

Find Jennifer's books on Amazon.

We Have To Heal Our Relationship With Our Mothers To Have Love Now

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Men are what their mothers made them. Ralph Waldo Emerson

You might not like where we are going today. In fact, if someone told me I needed to heal the relationship with my mother to have the love I desired, I would not have believed them, till I lived it. 

If we hold disdain, disregard, disrespect, hatred, resentment or and ill will towards our mothers, we will not receive unconditional love from anyone else. P.S. I have proof!

My mother and I have had a rollercoaster of a ride of ups, downs, twists and turns. I have hated her, resented her and been completely triggered by her presence and her voice. When I was about fifteen, I asked her why she was such a bitch. She beat me over my back while I was on my hands and knees washing the kitchen floor. I think I was fifteen at the time. 

There was more abuse I won't mention here (read Odyssey Victim to Victory). Now, I call my mother daily. I asked her this morning as I

asked her yesterday, "How did you get so wise?" She responded yesterday that she had learned so much through me and my experiences.

Today, she said, "If you haven't learned anything by the time you get to be 94 there is something seriously wrong!"

Our mothers may not have given us what we wanted when we were children, but they did give us what we needed according to our soul contract. No one has such an intimate connection with us from birth that can do such damage to our psyche as our mothers. 

For many of us, like me, our mothers might have been emotionally unavailable, cold, cruel, unloving and harsh. They might have been absent, alcoholics or drug addicts. They might have died when we were very young. The point is that all that happened was pre-destined for your soul's highest good. 

These events happened so that you would experience emotional

pain, suffering and eventually heal, grow, evolve and become

enlightened. It is what you are here for. It is what you have asked for.

I have done hundreds of hours of forgiveness work with my mother. I have cleared until I couldn't uncover another issue. 

My mother and I now have a loving close and connected relationship. She no longer triggers me to react. In fact, even when she tries, she can't. I accept her the way she is. I can't make her work on herself anymore than she can push me to do anything I don't want to do. 

It wasn't easy to forgive. It wasn't easy to let go of what happened in the past. I did it for me, not for her. However, she benefitted as well. I am her only daughter. I am the only one that has a close, loving relationship with her. I did it so that I could have what I have always wanted: an unconditional love that nurtures and supports me in a healthy balanced way.

Today, my relationship with my molesters and all perpetrators is one of complete forgiveness and neutrality/love. We need to be in an emotionally loving state with others, without triggers to have true love. 

Ready To Do This On Your Own?

1. Recognize that your mother had to contend with her issues of abandonment and pain.
2. Put yourself in her shoes. Feel what it would feel like to be an orphan at five like my mother was, or to be beaten, unloved, uncared for or neglected.
3. Do the Ho'oponopono Prayer of forgiveness for you for asking for this in your soul contract. Spend at least twenty minutes in prayer repeating the prayer below slowly. You may cry. Allow whatever needs to come up to surface. Don't push emotions back down. Feel them fully.
4. Repeat step three for your mother. 
5. Feel compassion for yourself.
6. Feel compassion for your mother. This one may be difficult. Do it regardless. Anything worth having is worth doing the work it takes. Remember holding resentment causes cancer and other autoimmune diseases. (I healed both of mine through loving me and forgiveness.)
7. Say a prayer of gratitude for your mother giving you life. You have no idea the sacrifices that she made for you.
8. Begin a relationship with your mother in a new way. Send her a note. Call her. Tell her you are sorry for anything you did to cause her harm. 
9. If all of the above are too challenging for you just yet, envision a bowl of fluffy pink icing. In your mind spackle mom head to toe and front to back with this fluffy pink icing. (Yes, this is a way to send love to her when you feel anything but!) Do this every day until you can feel the love flowing between you and your mother. THIS WORKS! You don't have to have a conversation with the person to heal the relationship. We are all energy. Energy flows wherever we send it - even to those who have left the physical plane.

Ho'oponopono Prayer of Forgiveness

This prayer is a Hawaiian Kahuna Healing Prayer. Powerful and profound. Repeat slowly for at least twenty minutes without distractions of phone, music or television. Allow your emotions to surface. Cry if you need to, allow yourself to FEEL FULLY. Doing less does not release the trapped emotions. Get an energy clearing to assist you. 

I am sorry
Please Forgive me
I love you
Thank you

If you are ready to have the love of your dreams, connect with me and let's partner for your healing so you can have the love you desire. I did it! You can do it! I will show you the way, lovingly with my velvet hammer. Says she smiling. It took me over thirty years - longer if you count from the time I decided to become enlightened at the age of sixteen. 

Visit my website for more information on my services. 

AphroditeEffect.com This site is for those who long for love, confidence, complete self-acceptance, enlightenment, strength, to stand in their personal power, be authentic and orgasmic. 


Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE. 


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