Opposites attract. There is a reason that we are attracted to those that are different from us; it is due to the survival of our species. Our natural tendency is to be attracted to those who are not exactly like ourselves. Once we find a partner, we then begin to force-fit them into our little view of what they need to be for us to be happy.
What if your intolerance of another's differences is keeping you from having the love you desire?
- Spiritual but not Religious
- Healthy but not a Vegan
- Fit but not a gym rat or bodybuilder
- Attractive to you, but not a model
- Tall not short
- Financially stable, not bankrupt
- Little baggage rather than a steamer trunk full
- Healed rather than addicted or co-dependent
- Active rather than a couch potato
- Curvy and comfy
- Animal lover, but not a rescue mission
- A hard worker, but not a workaholic
- Single, rather than divorced
- No children, rather than a nursery full
- Someone with high energy like you
- Someone quiet, rather than chatty
- A sense of humor, but not rowdy
The truth is that there is an ocean of opportunity in the dating world for love. Often we turn away from those who could be a great partner. We are so focused on what we think they should be that we can't see their greatness.
Be Open Minded
Trying different things can stretch you and help you grow and evolve. Dating people who are outside of your comfort zone can give you new opportunities to explore possibilities for a healthy relationship. If you keep dating the same type and your relationships don't work out, maybe it is time to expand your limited vision of what is best for you.
Someone doesn't have to be just like you for you to find happiness.
Think Outside The Box
Once you know what your core values are, you can look beyond the type of person you have in the past. If your core values match, you can expand beyond what you think is good for you. The very type of person you have been avoiding could be what is best for you.
Maybe you don't accept yourself and are therefore not accepting other's differences.
Ask Yourself The Following Questions:
- Am I expecting my date/partner to be perfect?
- Am I open to new opportunities?
- Am I the very thing I am looking for already - in a date/partner?
- Are my expectations too high?
- Am I being intolerant of other's differences?
- Am I pushing love away by saying no to a new experience?
- Am I a perfectionist and expecting too much from another?
Following are some suggestions of how you can remain true to your values and expand your horizons to allow more opportunity for love.
- besides Spiritual, there is Hindu, Buddhist, Mindful and more
- beyond white collar, there are tradespeople, techies, and entrepreneurs
- animal lovers, volunteers, humanitarians
- adventurers, homebody, a little of both
- divorced, widowed, single
- has some issues, but working on them
We All Are Works In Progress
Life is a journey. Not everyone you date will be right for you. Knowing what you want and staying open may take you on some twists and turns. Enjoy the journey. You might have to date ten different people to find the one you feel is a great fit for you. That's okay.
Have some fun on the twists and turns. Bank with the curves and laugh at yourself while you change and grow during the process. That is what life is all about having fun along the way. Just remember that no one is perfect or without their own flaws and faults.
Accepting another as they are is what real love is all about.
Each day we take one more step on that road of life we can stop and sniff one flower here another
there meeting new flowers on that road. Putting yourself out there allowing some risk taking is how you find love. If you are only focused on one type of person or your expectations are too high, you may find love continues to elude you. We all have quirks, chinks in our armour and have had heartbreaks and even divorces.
Look for someone who is open-minded and working on themselves, as you are and you will be surprised at the doors of opportunity for love that open to you. Say YES! instead of no and you will find love.
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE.
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