A break-up can be the best thing that ever happened.
There are NO MISTAKES, only lessons
Each relationship is a lesson. When we begin to look at the experience as something that helped us grow, and see ourselves in a different light, we begin to understand the purpose of our relationships. Change is a constant. People change. Relationships change. We change. Expecting a relationship to last forever is a fairy tale. Even in a healthy beautiful supportive relationship, there is death at the end that separates us. Seeing the perfection in each moment, that everything is happening as it needs to, in the perfect time.
Allowing our partner to be who they are, rather than trying to change them is a loving act. Sometimes at the end of our relationship experience we recognize that we did not accept our partner completely as they were. We are able to see what we have learned from this experience. We have grown and learned what our patterns are. We have learned our weaknesses and strengths. We also gain clarity about what we want and don't want in our next relationship. Writing down our must haves and drop dead will not haves helps us notice our patterns when we begin to date. If we continue to attract the same type of person in our next relationship it is because we have not healed our issues. We have more work to do. Relationships are all about focusing on our inner selves. This is how we grow and become our highest and best version of us.
When a door closes, a window opens
Challenges are Opportunities
Spending Time Alone Can Be The Biggest Gift
Leaving an abusive relationship can be very difficult. Be thankful that you got away safely. There are two people in an abusive relationship. One is the victim and one is the perpetrator. If you are a victim, you have work to do and issues to heal. Jumping right into another relationship will bring you another relationship with similar issues. You have to do inner work and get some help to recognize where you did not respect yourself. A coach that is familiar with abuse, or had abuse in their own past and has recovered would be beneficial for you. If you were the abuser, you also have issue to heal and work to do. This is deep work and very difficult to do on your own.
- Return and amicably split up belongings.
- Let go of anything that brings up painful memories.
- Delete them as friends on social media. Seeing posts from your partner can be very difficult, better that you let them go.
- Avoid phone calls and texting your partner unless absolutely necessary. Don't call them asking advice.
- If anyone asks, be kind don't bad mouth your ex.
- Take time for yourself - nurture yourself or go to the gym.
- Write in your journal. Expressing your feelings as you experience them, on paper will help release them. Your notes will help you to see how far you have come.
- Spend time with supportive friends.
- Eat healthy and get enough sleep.
- Stay busy. Do the things you put off and were too busy to do before.
- Recognize that everything happens for a reason and it is over. Thinking about reconciling at this time will bring you false hopes. LET IT GO.
- Spend time doing things you enjoy.
- Allow yourself time to cry. If you are feeling anger, allow yourself time to go to the top of a mountain, or a place away from others and do some cathartic screaming. You have to move these emotions in a healthy way or depression will result. Depression is the result of stuffed pain, with repressed anger on top.