A healthy relationship supports you, spurs you onto higher heights, and makes you feel empowered. If your partner puts you down, feels superior to you, or is abusive in any way, you are in a toxic relationship.
When our relationships make us feel unworthy, controlled or don't support our highest good, they are toxic. There are many reasons people become toxic. The most common is due to our family of origin. When we grow up in a family situation where one or both of our parents was abusive, controlling and made us responsible for their feelings, we end up replicating our parents behavior until we get help.
Here are 20 ways to recognize that your relationship is toxic.
- Your partner says he loves you, yet his actions are not loving towards you.
- Your partner puts you down, degrades or criticises you.
- Your partner programs you to feel you can't live without them.
- You change yourself in order to please your partner. This could be the way you dress, your friends, or even quitting your job.
- Each time you attempt to talk to your partner about something they get angry and make excuses why they can't.
- You are afraid of your partner.
- Your partner keeps you away from friends and family.
- Your friends and family don't think your partner is good for you.
- You feel you could not survive without your partner.
- Your partner finds something to get angry about when you are feeling good, or have accomplished a goal.
- Your partner blames you for a sexual dysfunction.
- Your partner would be happy with you if only............ you didn't have kids, or would change in some way.
- Your self esteem is lower since you have been in this relationship.
- You keep secrets from friends and family about your relationship because you feel they would not understand.
- You feel like you are walking on eggshells around your partner.
- You have been depressed or unhappy since you have been in your relationship.
- Your partner is only sweet to you after he has hurt you or when he/she thinks you are leaving them.
- You are afraid to speak your truth.
- Your partner is jealous when there is no reason.
- Your partner has taken over the disciplining of their step children. Or wants you to send them to live with another parent.
A toxic relationship makes you feel off balance, filled with inner turmoil. You may be filled with self doubt and feel more insecure to the point that you feel you can't live without the other person. This is a clear sign your relationship is not healthy. Usually we end up in a relationship that keeps us off balance when we had parents that were dysfunctional. One or both of our parents may have been addicts, alcoholics, or filled with rage. We tend to attract people who are like our parents, thinking this is NORMAL. It is not.
Getting help and getting out of the relationship is the first step. Counseling or hiring a coach who is familiar with toxic relationships is important. Making changes in yourself, getting help with self esteem is the key, if you don't want to replicate this relationship with another. Learning to be alone and happy with yourself is key. When you look for love outside of yourself, you will attract someone else who has a deficit of self love as well. The two of you combined create a toxic relationship.
Self love is the key. When you love yourself fearlessly you magnetize love, people, success and wealth to you.
Join Jennifer for her group "Love Yourself Fearlessly" 6 week coaching session. This is a powerful 5 step program to empower, uplift, shift your focus, awaken, and change your perspective about yourself, your life and heal your relationships. You will fall in love with you, your family, your soul, your gifts. You will feel confident, energized, with laser focus about what you want in your life, and how to create it. Jennifer is a healed healer, awakened and self actualized. She is a certified hypnotherapist, life, love and relationship coach, and author.