By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Excerpt From Orgasm For Life
Oral sex is an alternative or additional mode of pleasuring your partner. The incredible thing about the mouth is that we can increase or reduce pressure, speed and sensations quickly. We can get wildly creative at the same time. Oral sex is one of the experiences that I have to be in the mood for, both to give and receive.
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I don’t appreciate having my head shoved into a man’s crotch to force me to give him head. Forcing someone to do anything is not respectful. It is not cool! If a man tries to push your head down, you have many choices, and they all refer to ending the session immediately.
Men love to receive oral sex. For most men, it is the most intense sexual experience he can have because of the slippery wetness of our mouths. We have our lips, tongue and saliva to create a pleasure-filled experience. Get creative! My style may not be yours. You can use what you like and discard the rest.
What I will tell you is that your partner will enjoy having your mouth around his penis. I have never had a complaint but rarely have to use my hand to assist. The great thing about blow jobs is that you can suck at it. It will still be great because sucking is what it is all about. So have no fear and just relax.
The caveat for men is that reciprocating is what “love-making” is all about. In case you don’t know what reciprocating means, it means to give back what you receive.
Have you ever noticed your man watching your mouth when you talk? He is probably envisioning all the delicious things you can do with your beautiful lips and tongue.
Our mouths are soft, moist, and sensitive. The skin on our lips is similar to that in the vagina and anus. Following are my best secrets for giving the best Fellatio in the world to your man.
- Get comfortable. You can lie down on your side and have him turn toward you, or kneel over him on your bed. Standing is also an option, but not great for him if he crumbles when he comes. He might fall on top of you!
- Make sure you are hydrated. Hydration is always an important part of any sexual activity. If you are dehydrated, your vagina will be dry. If you are dehydrated, your mouth can be sticky and dry, also. So always drink plenty of water. You never know when you are going to have the opportunity for great sex!
- Have a glass of ice water with lots of ice, mints, and a towel nearby. Coconut oil is good if your mouth is dry; it’s slippery but doesn’t taste bad. I don’t personally use anything but saliva, but you might want other options.
- You want to make sure that you have constant moisture on his penis, or the skin could chafe or become tender. We don’t want a sore pecker. No no no!
- Melted chocolate is an exceptional addition as well for those who have an aversion to swallowing semen. You could even make a banana split then add some whipped cream in a spray can. You might want a towel under his buttocks if you make a dessert out of him.
- Begin with a clean body -- yours and his. We never know where this will go once we get going. Be prepared for anything.
- Wear something lacy that barely covers the tops of your thighs. Giving him a visual turn-on will make him happy on so many levels.
- Men love to watch so give him a show. Men get turned on from visuals.
- Make eye contact with him from time to time; he will love that. Remember we have more than five senses so stimulate them all!
I love the scene in “Father of The Bride” where Steve Martin gets a blowjob from his wife while driving home from a party. They, of course, careen into another car as his wife attempts to “relieve her husband’s stress”.
They sheepishly explain to the cops what happened. You can perform fellatio in a car; you can perform it on a star. Although I don’t recommend it; it is very exciting, though. The very fact that you are driving a car brings in the element of danger as well. At the point of orgasm, most guys close their eyes until their brain boinks out of orbit. If you have your head in his lap, you can’t see what’s going on down the road either. Better to be safer in a chair or on a bed.
As with anything in the bedroom, I prefer to dance around a little, tease, kiss, nibble his ear, bite his neck, and gently draw my fingers or even nails across his abdomen. Most men will jerk upright a little as it tickles. No matter, it is part of the game. This activity is supposed to be pleasurable for both of you. Anticipation is the key to building excitement. So, make him wonder what you are going to do next, rather than doing target practice going straight for his penis and balls.
Onward and upward
- Nibble his stomach to gradually make your way down to his pelvic area.
- With your dominant hand, grab the shaft of his penis to hold it firmly, but don’t choke his junk. With the other hand, cup his balls and stroke them from the perineum upwards. This can be very exciting. Watch for his reaction, then focus on licking.
- Begin at the base of his shaft (although there isn't much sensitivity there,) lick upwards to the tip or glans.
- Swirl your tongue around the underside ever so slightly. Then open your mouth wide to take him completely in your mouth. It’s like a dive down onto his whole shaft.
- Grab a little sip of ice water in your mouth and then go down on his penis taking him all the way in your mouth.
- For a change of pace grab a mint and suck on him with a mint in your mouth. The mint may be too much for some sensitive guys, but it does give a different experience.
- You can pop his penis out of your mouth and blow on him after minting him. It will feel phenomenal. Wet, then icy cold. Then deep throat him. Open your throat by relaxing and slurping all at the same time, taking his entire penis into your mouth all the way into the back of your throat. Some guys love to hear you slurp. It may not be polite at the dinner table, but in bed, slurping is not only acceptable -- it is welcomed. Guys like to know that their penis is big enough to gag you, so don’t be embarrassed if it does.
- Make eye contact, while you take his whole penis in your mouth. At first, I felt embarrassed to make eye contact, because I had seen porn stars do it. That is exactly the reason you make eye contact because he wants his woman to give him head like a porn star. It will raise his level of excitement to see you look at him with his swollen member stuffed inside your mouth. He’ll be thinking about you having him in your mouth all day tomorrow and possibly the next and the next!
- Think of how you would draw a Popsicle inside your mouth all the way, then pull it back out again. Do the same with his penis. As you draw back, a little do a little up down motion
over the head of his dick. You might find this move will nearly make him come on the spot.
- Stop and go down on his balls. Take one ball into your mouth at a time and slurp them into your mouth. Give the same attention to his left nut now. Don’t ignore his balls; they are left out so often and need some tender love and attention.
- Stroke them, then pinch the skin a little and pay them some close attention.
- While you are down here, you might be wondering who his hairdresser is. YOU! You can trim his pubic hair another time. That is a great place to start a love-making session. “Hey, c’mon over here, I’m going to give you a haircut, now drop ‘em!” Trimming his pubic hair can be very exciting, as long as you don’t stab him in the process.
- The underside of the penis and the head are the most sensitive areas.
- You can do a shallow head bob up and down just on the tip of his penis to make him come quickly. Or, take your time licking, up and down the shaft of his penis holding the base of the shaft in the other hand. You can guide how much of his penis you take into your mouth with your hand.
- Using your lips, you can purse them together so that they increase the pressure as you take his penis into your mouth to slide down on the shaft. You are making love to his penis. If you act like you don't like it, he will know. Giving your man head is the most private, intimate moment you can have with your man. Love him. Show him you love him.
As his pleasure builds, watch to see how close to coming he is. If he looks like he is ready to blow, back off, and stroke his thighs gently, or move up to his face. Have him eat you for a change of pace. Changing positions will allow his excitement to die down a little. You want to draw your love-making session out as long as you can driving him wild. Great sex involves our sexual energy building, then receding, building again and falling.
If you hold back too much, however, you might find an inverted orgasm happens where it’s as if he internalizes his orgasm but does not ejaculate. An internalized orgasm is like swallowing within the penis. It is still an orgasm, even without the ejaculation.
The goal is to get him to be as close to reaching an orgasm without having him come just yet, then back off. Allow his excitement to die down a little, then get back at it. Slurp his whole penis into your mouth, then draw back and lick up to the tip. Swirl your tongue to the underside, where the penis is highly sensitive.
Think of your partner’s penis like a Popsicle or lollipop. Think of how wonderful it feels to lick an ice cream cone with Jamoca Almond Fudge or maybe something without nuts, like French Vanilla. Think of all the pleasurable things that you like to lick when you are going down on your man. Envisioning something that you love to slurp and suck will help you with any mental or emotional issues you might have that could potentially cause you to gag.
The trick to a blow job is to relax and enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it but are holding back barf in your throat, don’t you think he’ll notice? It will make him feel bad. So get over your
aversion. Use thoughts that will calm your mind down rather than focusing on your very full mouth. I do hypnotherapy sessions with women to overcome any aversion to sex.
Know that you are giving the greatest gift your mouth can give someone. It is mind over matter. Get thoughts out of your mind that you are doing something disgusting. It isn’t -- it is loving and sensual. Once you think happy thoughts what does it matter if someone in your past said it was bad? It doesn’t matter.
If you are married, it is one of the extra things that will keep your marriage together. Getting head is one of the main reasons men step outside of their marriage. Most women stop giving head after they get married, and men know it. Change this statistic
while continuing to love your man in this way, and he will be so happy you did.
Breathe through your nose. Relax. Remember to relax your throat. To be able to take in his entire penis your throat has to relax, opening your throat wide. Think of sword swallowing. The idea is to relax your throat. You might need to work up to deep throating after you have had a little practice.
When it comes time for him to take him all the way in so that his penis is at the back of your throat, then swallow. I hear women say on websites or in books that it doesn’t matter whether
you swallow your guy’s semen or not. Ask a guy. Seriously.
It shows disgust if you do not swallow. Let go of any feelings of disgust. Think of it this way; you are showing him how much you care. Swallowing is a sign of acceptance. Men love it when you do. They feel slightly sad when you spit. Spitting sends a message of non-acceptance.
There are ways to get beyond the gag reflex. The mind is the best place to start. Relax your throat and just swallow quickly. Holding it in your mouth, then wondering what to do with it makes
matters worse. Your saliva will build up then you have more to swallow.
Do it fast. Lick the end of his penis, then look at him.
I have a theory that the more oral sex you give your guy, the more oral sex you should also have. It is a scintillating reward for treating your man like a King and lovingly accepting all of him.
If you liked this excerpt, buy Orgasm For Life, where there are plenty more hot and pleasurable ways to improve your sex life.
