8 Sexy Surprises That Are Guaranteed To Turn Up The Heat and Blow His Mind!

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Spontaneity can turn ho-hum sex into sexual delight. Follow these tips and turn him on like never before. 

1. Sext him in the morning and let him know you are thinking of him and how much you love and appreciate him. 

2. Titillate him throughout the day with sexy texts hinting at what is to come when he gets home!

3. Cook his favorite foods. Choose a meal that is light. Too much food before sex can get in the way of comfort.

Who doesn't feel sexy in high heels?

4. Dress up. Put on some high heels and an alluring outfit. Men love red, though blue runs a very close sexond. Don't want to wear a dress and feel your best in a pair of jeans? That's okay too, just add a touch of spice with a pair of high heels.

Don't like to cook or sext? 

5. Give him a body buff in the shower. Soap him up and use your hot body to buff and shine his. With his back to your front, slide your soapy body all over his back, booty, and even his legs. Allow him to experience the feeling of your body sliding all over his back without being able to look at you. Then turn him around and body buff his. The feeling of sliding your gorgeous body all over his is guaranteed to turn up the heat!

6. Tie me up and tie me down! Take charge. Push him down on the bed, with a playful smile. Blindfold him with a silk scarf. Tie his wrists to your headboard and pleasure him slowly. Kiss, lick and suck slowly from his ears to his toes, slowly work your way back up and give in to his favorite thing, oral! 

7. Let him enjoy a fantasy. Everyone has a fantasy. Dress up in a costume (nurse, French maid, or police officer) role play and really get into the fun of play acting. Be someone different. Wear a wig, surprise him with a special outfit he loves. Make him feel like the King of his domain. Men want to know they are the man! Show him. Let him know how much he turns you on. 

8. Do a strip tease. Get over the feeling of being silly. Men are visual creatures. They are turned on through their eyes. Get into the role. Watch a few videos and learn some new moves and dance! Once your dance is over, give him a lap dance. This just might be the build up to your greatest night ever!

Add some sex toys, vibrators, sex pillows to your repertoire. A hand job coupled with a vibrator against his jewels might be

something new and add another dimension to your sex play. A wedge pillow can lift your hips and give you both added pleasure and make your sex life spicy! If you play your cards right, you might not make it out of the kitchen!

Step outside of your comfort zone. If you both agree, try something you haven't done before. A couples vibrator could be a fun addition and turn you both on. Nothing is off limits unless you choose it to be. Add a cowboy hat. Ladies you can leave your hat on! Create some new excitement and new memories. Expand your horizons and enjoy the ride!

Great sex begins in the mind. Talk about what you both desire and enjoy. If you can't talk about sex, you won't be able to find out what works and what doesn't. Deep, connected relationships don't magically happen. Relationships take effort, communication from the heart. Honesty and trust are the most important parts of a conscious loving relationship. Don't expect great sex, if you only touch her sexually. Hugs, hand-holding and kissing when you don't want sex will allow you both to feel loved, appreciated and connected. 

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15 Things You Want To Know Before Giving Him A Blow Job

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Men love oral sex. Whether you call it a blow job or giving him head, the result is the same; the ultimate pleasure for your man. Think of giving your man oral like you getting a fabulous massage, a mani- pedi and a $5,000 shopping spree all at the same time! 

Hot and Exciting Ways To Please Your Man Orally

It is highly pleasurable. When you can move beyond the mind games you play with yourself, you will actually find it intensely pleasurable. You take control of HIS PLEASURE!

Oral sex with established partners is an opportunity to explore and have some fun.

These are the things you want to know before giving him oral:

1. Heightened sensitivity. Oral sex is most men's greatest pleasure when it comes to sex. Fulfilling his need for oral shows you care about what he desires. Giving a man pleasure orally allows you the ability to amp up his desire before penetrative sex or it can be the main event. 

2. Variety. Oral sex offers a different feeling and dimension to penetrative sex. It feels different. A blow job can spice up your sex life offering a new way for you to show your love and appreciation for all he does for you. 

3. He gets to reciprocate. Great sex involves give and take. If you love oral, give him oral and vise Versa.  

4. You can rise above any aversion you have to oral through thinking about something pleasurable that you love to suck. Envision yourself licking an ice cream cone or slurping a fudgcicle,

or a lollipop? You can psych yourself into, or out of enjoying oral sex. It is mind over matter. Close your eyes and remember how good it feels for him. How can that not turn you on?

5. Make it Sacred with a shower. Sex is always better when bodies are clean and fresh from a shower. It is respectful to come clean to the bedroom (pun intended). If he doesn't smell good, suggest a shower. You can always defer this very personal and intimate activity to a time he is clean. Wanna bet he'll show up just-showered fresh next time? 

6. Wet is best, interesting and more juicy (also more pleasurable).  Sucking on a chip of ice or cold water before you go down on him will add moisture which helps you lips slide over his skin.  Aloe is another safe bet for adding moisture. Mints can also add a little cool-hot feel. Altoids are especially hot and minty. You can take the mint into your mouth draw him in and then pull your mouth away from his penis and blow on his skin. Tantalizing!

7. Oral sex isn't nasty! If you have a strong aversion to giving your man oral, read my article about overcoming your aversion and gag reflex. Or buy my book, Orgasm For Life, which explains alternatives and gives you tons of suggestions for spicing up your sex life. Everyone can improve their love-making. 

8. Give him a haircut! No one needs to be consuming copious amounts of hair while performing oral sex. Be careful. Use scissors that have rounded tips, rather than points. You don't want to cut him.

9. Don't give him oral if you don't feel like it. Your body is your body. Your mouth is part of your body. Oral sex is best when you want to perform it. If you are giving him mercy head, he will know.

10. Admire his member! All guys want you to worship their penis. Yes, they do! Our sexuality is the core of our being. Guys are very connected to their penis. A penis is part of a guys' self-esteem. If you make a comment that is hurtful, he will never forget it. Tell him his member is beautiful! 

11. All penises have different personalities. Every penis has something a little different. His penis may be curved, circumcised, uncircumcised. It may be small, huge, thick, long; no matter how it looks to you, let him know you love it! You don't want to blow his self-esteem out of the water by   imprinting him about his Johnson.

12. Make love to his penis. Act like you like it. Passion is something that grows as you begin to let go of your inhibitions. Every woman has a beautiful Goddess inside of her. Allow your Goddess to come forth in your oral love-making.

13. Get Comfortable. Find a position that suits you best. You can lay on your side, with him turning toward you. You can kneel over him, with him lying on his back. Choose a position that you like. 

14. Spit or Swallow that is the question? If you think swallowing is disgusting, it will be. If you think that you are giving your man the ultimate respect, acceptance and pleasure possible by swallowing, you will find it infinitely easier. Not swallowing will shatter his self-esteem. If you care about him, it will be easy. 

15. Don't allow yourself to be forced to do anything you don't want to do. If he pushes your head down, don't do it. If you want to get over your aversion to oral sex I invite you to have a hypnotherapy session to heal whatever is standing in your way. My clients have had great success with hypnotherapy for many issues, including oral sex.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE. 

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Hot and Exciting Ways To Please Your Man Orally

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Excerpt From Orgasm For Life

Oral sex is an alternative or additional mode of pleasuring your partner. The incredible thing about the mouth is that we can increase or reduce pressure, speed and sensations quickly. We can get wildly creative at the same time. Oral sex is one of the experiences that I have to be in the mood for, both to give and receive. 

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I don’t appreciate having my head shoved into a man’s crotch to force me to give him head. Forcing someone to do anything is not respectful. It is not cool! If a man tries to push your head down, you have many choices, and they all refer to ending the session immediately.

Men love to receive oral sex. For most men, it is the most intense sexual experience he can have because of the slippery wetness of our mouths. We have our lips, tongue and saliva to create a pleasure-filled experience. Get creative! My style may not be yours. You can use what you like and discard the rest.

What I will tell you is that your partner will enjoy having your mouth around his penis. I have never had a complaint but rarely have to use my hand to assist. The great thing about blow jobs is that you can suck at it. It will still be great because sucking is what it is all about. So have no fear and just relax. 

The caveat for men is that reciprocating is what “love-making” is all about. In case you don’t know what reciprocating means, it means to give back what you receive.

Have you ever noticed your man watching your mouth when you talk? He is probably envisioning all the delicious things you can do with your beautiful lips and tongue.  

Our mouths are soft, moist, and sensitive. The skin on our lips is similar to that in the vagina and anus. Following are my best secrets for giving the best Fellatio in the world to your man.

1. Get comfortable. You can lie down on your side and have him turn toward you, or kneel over him on your bed. Standing is also an option, but not great for him if he crumbles when he comes. He might fall on top of you!
2. Make sure you are hydrated. Hydration is always an important part of any sexual activity. If you are dehydrated, your vagina will be dry. If you are dehydrated, your mouth can be sticky and dry, also. So always drink plenty of water. You never know when you are going to have the opportunity for great sex!
3. Have a glass of ice water with lots of ice, mints, and a towel nearby. Coconut oil is good if your mouth is dry; it’s slippery but doesn’t taste bad. I don’t personally use anything but saliva, but you might want other options.
4. You want to make sure that you have constant moisture on his penis, or the skin could chafe or become tender. We don’t want a sore pecker. No no no!
5. Melted chocolate is an exceptional addition as well for those who have an aversion to swallowing semen. You could even make a banana split then add some whipped cream in a spray can. You might want a towel under his buttocks if you make a dessert out of him.
6. Begin with a clean body -- yours and his. We never know where this will go once we get going. Be prepared for anything. 
7. Wear something lacy that barely covers the tops of your thighs. Giving him a visual turn-on will make him happy on so many levels. 
8. Men love to watch so give him a show. Men get turned on from visuals. 
9. Make eye contact with him from time to time; he will love that. Remember we have more than five senses so stimulate them all!

I love the scene in “Father of The Bride” where Steve Martin gets a blowjob from his wife while driving home from a party. They, of course, careen into another car as his wife attempts to “relieve her husband’s stress”. 

They sheepishly explain to the cops what happened. You can perform fellatio in a car; you can perform it on a star. Although I don’t recommend it; it is very exciting, though. The very fact that you are driving a car brings in the element of danger as well. At the point of orgasm, most guys close their eyes until their brain boinks out of orbit. If you have your head in his lap, you can’t see what’s going on down the road either. Better to be safer in a chair or on a bed.

As with anything in the bedroom, I prefer to dance around a little, tease, kiss, nibble his ear, bite his neck, and gently draw my fingers or even nails across his abdomen. Most men will jerk upright a little as it tickles. No matter, it is part of the game. This activity is supposed to be pleasurable for both of you. Anticipation is the key to building excitement. So, make him wonder what you are going to do next, rather than doing target practice going straight for his penis and balls.

Onward and upward

1. Nibble his stomach to gradually make your way down to his pelvic area.
2. With your dominant hand, grab the shaft of his penis to hold it firmly, but don’t choke his junk. With the other hand, cup his balls and stroke them from the perineum upwards. This can be very exciting. Watch for his reaction, then focus on licking. 
3. Begin at the base of his shaft (although there isn't much sensitivity there,) lick upwards to the tip or glans. 
4. Swirl your tongue around the underside ever so slightly. Then open your mouth wide to take him completely in your mouth. It’s like a dive down onto his whole shaft. 
5. Grab a little sip of ice water in your mouth and then go down on his penis taking him all the way in your mouth. 
6. For a change of pace grab a mint and suck on him with a mint in your mouth. The mint may be too much for some sensitive guys, but it does give a different experience.
7. You can pop his penis out of your mouth and blow on him after minting him. It will feel phenomenal. Wet, then icy cold. Then deep throat him.  Open your throat by relaxing and slurping all at the same time, taking his entire penis into your mouth all the way into the back of your throat. Some guys love to hear you slurp. It may not be polite at the dinner table, but in bed, slurping is not only acceptable -- it is welcomed. Guys like to know that their penis is big enough to gag you, so don’t be embarrassed if it does. 
8. Make eye contact, while you take his whole penis in your mouth. At first, I felt embarrassed to make eye contact, because I had seen porn stars do it. That is exactly the reason you make eye contact because he wants his woman to give him head like a porn star. It will raise his level of excitement to see you look at him with his swollen member stuffed inside your mouth. He’ll be thinking about you having him in your mouth all day tomorrow and possibly the next and the next!
9. Think of how you would draw a Popsicle inside your mouth all the way, then pull it back out again. Do the same with his penis. As you draw back, a little do a little up down motion
   
   over the head of his dick. You might find this move will nearly make him come on the spot. 
10. Stop and go down on his balls. Take one ball into your mouth at a time and slurp them into your mouth. Give the same attention to his left nut now. Don’t ignore his balls; they are left out so often and need some tender love and attention. 
11. Stroke them, then pinch the skin a little and pay them some close attention. 
12. While you are down here, you might be wondering who his hairdresser is. YOU! You can trim his pubic hair another time. That is a great place to start a love-making session. “Hey, c’mon over here, I’m going to give you a haircut, now drop ‘em!” Trimming his pubic hair can be very exciting, as long as you don’t stab him in the process.
13. The underside of the penis and the head are the most sensitive areas.
14. You can do a shallow head bob up and down just on the tip of his penis to make him come quickly. Or, take your time licking, up and down the shaft of his penis holding the base of the shaft in the other hand. You can guide how much of his penis you take into your mouth with your hand.
15. Using your lips, you can purse them together so that they increase the pressure as you take his penis into your mouth to slide down on the shaft. You are making love to his penis. If you act like you don't like it, he will know. Giving your man head is the most private, intimate moment you can have with your man. Love him. Show him you love him.

As his pleasure builds, watch to see how close to coming he is. If he looks like he is ready to blow, back off, and stroke his thighs gently, or move up to his face. Have him eat you for a change of pace. Changing positions will allow his excitement to die down a little. You want to draw your love-making session out as long as you can driving him wild. Great sex involves our sexual energy building, then receding, building again and falling. 

If you hold back too much, however, you might find an inverted orgasm happens where it’s as if he internalizes his orgasm but does not ejaculate. An internalized orgasm is like swallowing within the penis. It is still an orgasm, even without the ejaculation.

The goal is to get him to be as close to reaching an orgasm without having him come just yet, then back off. Allow his excitement to die down a little, then get back at it. Slurp his whole penis into your mouth, then draw back and lick up to the tip. Swirl your tongue to the underside, where the penis is highly sensitive.

Think of your partner’s penis like a Popsicle or lollipop. Think of how wonderful it feels to lick an ice cream cone with Jamoca Almond Fudge or maybe something without nuts, like French Vanilla. Think of all the pleasurable things that you like to lick when you are going down on your man. Envisioning something that you love to slurp and suck will help you with any mental or emotional issues you might have that could potentially cause you to gag. 

The trick to a blow job is to relax and enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it but are holding back barf in your throat, don’t you think he’ll notice? It will make him feel bad. So get over your
aversion. Use thoughts that will calm your mind down rather than focusing on your very full mouth. I do hypnotherapy sessions with women to overcome any aversion to sex.

Know that you are giving the greatest gift your mouth can give someone. It is mind over matter. Get thoughts out of your mind that you are doing something disgusting. It isn’t -- it is loving and sensual. Once you think happy thoughts what does it matter if someone in your past said it was bad? It doesn’t matter. 

If you are married, it is one of the extra things that will keep your marriage together. Getting head is one of the main reasons men step outside of their marriage. Most women stop giving head after they get married, and men know it. Change this statistic
while continuing to love your man in this way, and he will be so happy you did.

Breathe through your nose. Relax. Remember to relax your throat. To be able to take in his entire penis your throat has to relax, opening your throat wide. Think of sword swallowing. The idea is to relax your throat. You might need to work up to deep throating after you have had a little practice. 

When it comes time for him to take him all the way in so that his penis is at the back of your throat, then swallow. I hear women say on websites or in books that it doesn’t matter whether
you swallow your guy’s semen or not. Ask a guy. Seriously. 

It shows disgust if you do not swallow. Let go of any feelings of disgust. Think of it this way; you are showing him how much you care. Swallowing is a sign of acceptance. Men love it when you do. They feel slightly sad when you spit. Spitting sends a message of non-acceptance. 

There are ways to get beyond the gag reflex. The mind is the best place to start. Relax your throat and just swallow quickly. Holding it in your mouth, then wondering what to do with it makes
matters worse. Your saliva will build up then you have more to swallow. 

Do it fast. Lick the end of his penis, then look at him.
I have a theory that the more oral sex you give your guy, the more oral sex you should also have. It is a scintillating reward for treating your man like a King and lovingly accepting all of him.

If you liked this excerpt, buy Orgasm For Life, where there are plenty more hot and pleasurable ways to improve your sex life. 

For Private coaching with Jennifer set up your appointment here. 

You Can't Trust A Politician With A Hard-On To Do The Right Thing

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Remember Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton? Most of us do. Bill Clinton created a paradigm that many adults and plenty of teens today are living. Clinton said and I quote, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Monica Lewinsky's dress told the truth. Many believe what Clinton created: oral sex, does not constitute sex. WRONG! The fact that Clinton's semen spilled over the front of Monica's dress proved a sexual affair. 

I've got news for you! If an encounter involves a mouth and a penis or vagina, it is SEX!

If you want someone who cares about you, not just what they can "get from you," here you go!

Plenty of teens think they are not having sex, by giving a boy a blow job at the back of a school bus or under the bleachers. In fact, even anal sex is believed by many teens to not be considered sex. 

What Constitutes Sex?

1. Oral sex
2. A Hand job
3. Anal sex
4. Masturbation of another person
5. Causing another to have an orgasm by any means

Sex isn't bad or wrong in fact, sex is perfectly natural. Pretending that you haven't had sex when you have is denial. You can't be partly pregnant any more than you can sort of dable with a penis or a vagina. If it involves a sexual body part, it's sex. It's really very simple.

The Truth Will Set you Free!

Monica Lewinsky was 22 when she fell in love with Bill Clinton, her boss. The price of her affair was shame. Her TED Talk is enlightening. Monica Lewinsky became infamous due to the Internet. It was the click that reverberated around the world. She was humilated world-wide. 

In the process of being cyber-bullied and ashamed, Monica Lewinsky almost lost her life. Shame and humiliation are issues that I help women heal from. The more numb that we become, the more we are attracted to public humiliation. It is a symptom of the culture we have created. Our beliefs need to be changed. Public shaming needs to stop. Shame cannot survive empathy. Empathy from one person can make a difference. Instead of bullying, post positive comments instead.

Visit Jennifer's website: AphroditeEffect.com

Set up your FREE DISCOVERY session here. 

Love Oral Sex But Wonder Are You At Risk For Throat or Mouth Cancer?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

There is no doubt that most women love receiving oral sex. I know I do. It is the fastest way for most women to reach an orgasm without breaking a sweat! What's not to like? 

Human papillomavirus (HPV) is on the rise. Throat cancers have more than quadrupled over the last ten years as well.  HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease (STD). According to the Centers for Disease Control, 90% of the population has been infected with HPV. Most people's natural immune system clears up the infection within eighteen months. Some, however, turns into cancer.

Throat Cancer Caused By Oral Sex

Throat cancer is usually not detected until a lump is found on the neck. Men usually find it while shaving. By the time a lump is found, the lymph nodes are usually cancerous.

HPV does not mean that you are promiscuous. It also doesn't mean your partner has been cheating on you. Most people who are sexually active get HPV at some point in their lives. I had it when I was in my late thirties. 

Within weeks of my diagnosis, I returned for a recheck and found the HPV had thankfully cleared up by itself. Before being cleared of the infection, my gynecologist recommended cryosurgery, which I declined. I chose to allow my body to heal it naturally. 

Cryosurgery involves a freezing of the cervix with liquid nitrogen, although sometimes carbon dioxide and argon are also used. The extreme cold temperatures of -346º F to -320º F kill whatever comes in contact with it.

Famous People In The News

You may remember that actor Michael Douglas was treated for stage 4 throat cancer. He announced publicly that it was from oral sex with someone that had HPV. Douglas was playing Liberace at the time in the movie Behind The Candelabra.  HPV is responsible for half of the oral cancers according to the CDC. 

Signs Of HPV

Most people have no symptoms at all. Genital warts, anal and penile lesions can form. Read more about STDs here. 

Increased Risk of HPV

The following have been known, to cause an increased risk of getting HPV.

• smoking or chewing tobacco
• long-term contraceptive use (birth control pills)
• having three or more children
• compromised immune system
• chronic inflammation
• poor oral hygiene

How Can You Prevent HPV?

• Use a condom when having sexual contact
• Abstain from sex until you know someone well
• Get tested for STDs regularly and always before engaging in unprotected sex with a new partner
• Be circumcised
• Get vaccinated (know there are risks involved with vaccination - do your research)

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author love, passion, and sex coach. She works privately and in group sessions with clients. Set up your discovery session for free now! Find out if Jennifer's work is a good fit for you and your partner.

Sign up for Jennifer's From Tainted To True Love Program beginning this Wednesday at 5:30 PM PST! Last Chance! $97.00 for this year. 

From Tainted To True Love

10 Powerful Ways To Get Her There

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Men can shower, shave and dress in the amount of time it can take a woman to get into the shower. Even when a woman intends to be ready on time, she likely isn't. Women take longer than men to do just about anything except maybe diaper a baby, or clean the house. When it comes to having an orgasm many men are expressing their impatience with their partners because it takes them so long! Women are wired differently than men. Think of it this way guys, if she were like you, she'd have a penis!

Why You Don't Want To Hurry Her Up

Have you ever noticed when you try to rush something it doesn't go well? Rushing a woman to orgasm will do the opposite. It will prevent her from coming because her focus will be on how long it is taking her. When you try to rush them to orgasm, their focus is on the fact that it is taking them too long, and you are impatient. Women the world over have been programmed to believe if they don't come when a man does that something is wrong with them. Women need more time than men. In fact, they need twenty to forty minutes, or as long as it takes. You have to let go of how long it takes. Focus on giving her pleasure instead. 

Sex is about mutual pleasure not just one person's. If you give a woman her orgasm first, you will find she is very appreciative and just might give you what you want too! If all you have is quickies, it is likey you will be cut off at some point. Women don't do well with a steady diet of quickies. In fact, quickies can kill your sex life.

You Can't Rush An Orgasm

Let's face it, if all women had orgasms as quickly as men, our society would be different. Our lives would be different. We would all probably be languishing in bed with our partners wanting to have sex all the time. Nothing would get accomplished, and our children would go hungry. You might want to read my article about why women stop having sex, a woman not having an orgasm is one of them. 

When you focus on how long it takes, a woman will feel insecure. She will feel something is wrong with her. There is nothing wrong; she is different from her man. Men can come in two minutes. Most women need twenty to forty minutes of warm-up time to get close to having an orgasm. 

Orgasm For Life

Have you ever wondered why a woman would write a book about ORGASM? Did you ask yourself that question? Most men are intrigued that I did. I wrote it because after four marriages and countless partners I knew that most men didn't understand women. I recommend you buy my book, it could be the best $18.00 you spend! Most women are so focused on their man getting tired or being impatient that they can't focus on the pleasure. 

Take Your Mind and Focus Off The Clock

Women need to know that they can lie back, relax and just enjoy what is going on without thinking about the time it takes. Each time your mind goes to something else, come back to the pleasure. Ask for what you want and guide him gently to the right place, pressure and speed you need.

What She Needs To Do

1. Know that while having sex men are focused on that one thing - PLEASURE. Learn to do this also. Let go of the household chores, lock your bedroom door, so your three children don't come bounding in the room. Stop focusing on the dishes, unswept kitchen floor or work projects left undone. Think about this one thing - pleasure!
2. Get comfortable. If something pinches or hurts, you won't have an orgasm. Be comfortable. 
3. Know that you are beautiful!
4. Breathe with an open mouth. As above so below. Opening your mouth will help open the sexual center.
5. Make low moaning sounds, rather than high pitched squeals, this equates to the sacral chakra sound and energy that is your sexual center.
6. If he is performing oral, ask him also to insert an upturned finger to stimulate your G-spot at the same time. This one thing could be what you need. Most men don't think of multi-tasking while performing oral. You will find this amazing addition!
7. Squeeze your buttocks together, squeezing your anal sphincter like a pump. Squeezing your buttocks and doing kegels both front and back pumps up the kundalini that raises your sexual energy and will get you there faster.
8. Move your hips rhythmically, while squeezing your anal sphincter.
9. Each time your mind wanders to the clock, or how tired your partner is getting turn your mind back to focus on the pleasure. 
10. Envision yourself having an orgasm and letting go in your mind. 
11. Use a fantasy of something that turns you on. It's okay to fantasize while making love. An orgasm is over 60% mental and less than 40% physical. What your mind is doing is either taking you towards or away from the pleasure. Focus on the feelings of enjoyment.
12. Allow yourself to let go and surrender to the process of letting go and building your sexual energy to a crescendo. When you surrender, you will have an orgasm. 

For Men

1. Let her know her pleasure is all she needs to enjoy.
2. At no time can you tell her to hurry up. I'll slap you silly if you do! Most women need 10 minutes of kissing, 10 minutes of sensual touch, 10 minutes of massage, 10 minutes of digital or oral and digital (not with your camera silly - your finger!) stimulation. A total of 40 minutes!
3. Tell her how good she smells and tastes. Telling her these things will help her relax and let go. (If there is a hygiene issue, take a shower together or run a bath for her first, so that you are both clean. Mutual respect means coming clean!
4. Tell her how beautiful she is.
5. Keep telling her how beautiful she is. You have no idea how turning on her mind will turn on her body. She needs to know you think she is beautiful.
6. If she likes to be told she is sexy, tell her how she turns you on and how sexy she is. Find out before you get into the bedroom what her hot buttons are and push on them!
7. Do what she likes, rather than what you want to do.
8. Oral sex will get her there faster than anything else. 
9. She will need to feel comfortable, safe, and know that you have all the time in the world to get her there.
10. Use a finger inside her at the same time as giving her oral. An upturned finger will locate her G-spot which will bring her to orgasm much faster than a tongue lashing alone! Buy my book so that you know other ways to get her there every time. Orgasm For Life on Amazon.com.

I recently received a private message from a woman who's partner is pushing her to come faster. Having been there myself, I know how damaging this can be to one's self-esteem. No one should ever tell the other to hurry up and come. It doesn't work that way. I coach women privately to overcome issues with orgasm and self-esteem. Living a radiant life means being healthy, having orgasms and standing in our power. I have a new website that I am very excited about, to empower women. Watch for it coming on October 10th! You can set up your private sessions here. 

5 Signs Your Kids Are Watching Porn

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

When my husband told me my son was watching porn on the Internet, I was in complete denial. My sweet little 12-year-old boy? Never! How wrong I was. If you think your child has not been exposed to pornography, think again. If your child has

 access to a computer and you don't have parental controls on it, your teen has most likely seen some version of pornography. If your child has a phone, he or she has probably received a SEXT message from someone else.

So what's wrong with that, you ask? A lot. Pornography is not the place to learn about love, relationships or sex. Pornography is the place to learn about disconnected sex. The potential exists for a teen to become addicted to both, masturbation and pornography. Pornography can also expose your child to sexual violence. Teens have questions about sex. It is natural for them to be curious about something they begin to feel in their bodies. Young people need to learn about sex from a grounded loving parent, rather than a porn star on the net. Kids have urges. Sex is everywhere. Thinking that your child won't have sex just because you don't want them to is not enough of a deterrent. 

Parents are busy these days. Often both parents work away from home. When a computer is left unattended without parental controls on it, most boys will begin to search what they are curious about. Boys especially are curious about sex. (I have statistics below for you). 87% of students have a cell phone. Sexting is a growing issue. Protect your children. Do your research. Even if you don't have a computer at home, children have access to the Internet at friend's houses, school, and the library.

Signs Your Child Is Watching Porn

1. You have a computer.
2. Your child has access to the computer or cell phone when you are not around.
3. Your child is often in their room with the door closed, or locked, or their computer is password protected.
4. Your child is up long after you go to bed "watching movies on their computer."
5. Your teen is often tired in the middle of the day.

What's the big deal you ask? The pornography that your child may have witnessed may have been something other than a man and woman engaged in regular sex. It could have been something you could never have imagined. 

Everything from bestiality to same-sex acts is available on the Internet. If your child has free range on a computer, they can be witnessing acts that could change them forever. You and I may not want to watch certain acts, but teens with curiosity are being exposed to situations that could taint them and certainly remove their innocence. We don't know what exposure to pornography can do to anyone long-term. We don't have those statistics yet. 

Statistics 

5,436 students were surveyed in grades 4 - 11. The results are astounding.

1. Almost all boys and 93% of boys and 62% of girls has been exposed to Internet porn before the age of 18.
2. Kids are starting to watch porn on the Internet as early as 6 and begin flirting at age 8 on the Internet. USA Today.
3. 70% of boys have spent a consecutive 30 minutes watching porn.
4. 83% of boys and 57% of girls have seen group sex on the Internet.
5. 69% of boys and 55% of girls have seen same-sex intercourse on the Internet.
6. 39% of boys and 23% of girls have seen sex acts depicting bondage on the Internet.
7. 32% of boys and 18% of girls have seen bestiality on the Internet.
8. 1 in 5 high school students has received a sext (naked photo) sent from someone else. Canadian survey here.
9. 32% of boys grades 7-11 have received a SEXT, 17% of girls have.
10. 25% of boys who sent a sext of themselves says it was then forwarded to someone else.
11. Less than 1 in 5 teens thinks that oral-genital contact is sex.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a mother of three. She is the author of Orgasm For Life and is a love and passion coach. To open a dialogue with her about her coaching schedule your free 30-minute

discovery session here to see if her work is a good fit for you. 

Jennifer's work is grounded in self-love. She empowers her clients to love and accept themselves as they are now. Self Mastery leads to fulfillment, lasting happiness and healthy, balanced relationships. Positive self-esteem is the cornerstone to healing all addictions, including codependency. If you jump from one relationship to another and feel a relationship will fill you and make you happy, connect with Jennifer. 

15 Reasons Women Stop Having Sex

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Couples often feel that working on the relationship is of utmost importance, but leave sex out of the equation. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. If sex takes a back seat, communication becomes an issue. Men need to have sex to feel intimate while women need intimacy to have sex. 

In our relationships, we sometimes get into a contest of wills. Our egos get in the way of true loving heart-centered connection. Sex is the fastest way to dissipate negativity and disconnection. When sex becomes an occasional activity, tempers flare and resentment builds. When sex is not happening often enough, one or both of the parties may begin to notice other people. When flirting becomes serious affairs can result. Even if it is an affair of the heart, sending your energy in another direction is destructive. Recovering from an affair takes courage - commitment to work on the relationship as well as not being concerned what others think. Often we give up all too soon because we think that is what we should do. Society dictates our sex lives, and the roles we play in our relationships far too frequently. 

Reasons Women Stop Having Sex

1. Women sometimes get angry with their husbands and can use sex as a weapon. Sex can be the way women get their point across - this is clearly manipulation - however it happens. If a man continues to disrespect, abuse or mistreat toxic communication can result. Using sex as a weapon is
   
   destructive. Sometimes, sex is used to control another. Often we are not even aware of what we are doing. A gentle discussion, rather than finger pointing will net you the result you are seeking: love and more pleasure.
2. As women get older their hormones dip and their vaginal walls and tissue become tender, dry and fragile. The longer women go without sex, the lower their hormones drop and it becomes a vicious cycle. Less sex, the less women want it. If we don't use it, we lose it. The moral of the story is keep having sex REGULARLY (once a week or at the very least once every two weeks). Sex that occurs once a month or less is putting your partner on a starvation diet. They will most likely feel unloved, unworthy and underappreciated.
3. Sex after menopause can hurt. Especially if there has been a long period of celibacy. After a month, desire drops, vaginal walls become thinner and more fragile causing pain during sex. Dyspareunia is the medical term for painful intercourse. This is not to be ignored. Having sex before you are properly lubricated, is not pleasant. Even with lubrication when vaginal atrophy occurs, bio-identical hormones or herbs can help. Estradiol is a relatively safe hormone to insert into the vagina and can be used for a short time to alleviate this discomfort.
4. When women are not fully aroused when they are penetrated, the muscles can tense up causing painful sex. The more a man tries to push forward, the more tense the vaginal muscles become. The key is having a partner that cares enough to be tender and gentle with his wife/girlfriend. Slow down, take your time. Do another activity, like oral or clitoral stimulation instead, till you are more comfortable.
5. Women need to be romanced, made love to all day long. We need to be told we are beautiful, that we smell good and look terrific. We need to be loved, accepted and respected. If a
   
   
   
   relationship has been abusive - this will chip away at trust and love. When women are afraid of being hurt, it is natural to not want sex with their partner. Trust is one of the most important factors that needs to be present for deep intimacy and great sex. Without it, desire dwindles. We won’t make love to you if we are angry and you have not apologized. We won’t make love to you if you told us dinner sucked, or was too salty. We are emotional creatures. When our feelings are hurt, women won’t want sex. Women are wired differently than men.
6. As women get older they become fed up with lackluster sex, not enough foreplay or their husbands (or partners) finishing before they orgasm. This can cause resentment, anger and rejection of their husbands’ advances. Men need to learn how to please their partners - most women need 20 - 40 minutes of stimulation to have an orgasm. With quickies - it is like an appetizer and no meal to follow, it leaves you wanting more. When you don't get it (orgasm) most of the time, women
   
   become frustrated and resentful. Which can cause women to just say, "HELL NO!" (Believe me I have been there.)
7. Hormones or lack of them can produce low sex drive. Without enough estradiol in our system after menopause women's desire drops to zero. Bioidentical hormones - or hormone replacement therapy can alleviate this problem. The issue with this is, that most women have so little desire to have sex, why would they bother taking medication to alleviate a problem that they are apathetic about in the first place - especially if there are risks involved  - like cervical or breast cancer? There are natural alternatives that I have found helpful. Irwin Naturals is Steel Libido taken daily is my favorite, it works great! It is available at the Vitamin Shoppe, GNC and online. There is also a men's version, I hear is terrific as well. I recommend using natural products whenever possible. 
8. Women can become disenchanted with pleasuring their partners without getting the same pleasure in return. 80% of women fake orgasms. After 20 years - enough is enough. Many women just stop wanting to have sex, if they aren’t being satisfied consistently. I have to say, I was one of them. Hence the book, Orgasm For Life!
9. The majority of women don’t know what they like, which makes it very difficult to get what they want. The better a woman knows her own body - the better she can ask for what she wants. Self-pleasuring of her own body assists in communicating what she needs.
10. Many women clam up in the bedroom. They may be able to pick the restaurant they want to eat at or the movie they want to see, but they rarely tell their men “a little to the left, honey!” Some women are quite confident and able to ask for what they
    
    want - many confident women, however, do not for fear of hurting their man's ego. Knowing his self esteem is riding on his egoic thought that he is a good, if not a great lover causes many women to put up with what they have. Most men do not know what women want and need. It is a rare man that can play his wife’s body like an instrument. If you can, I want to hear from you, what you have found works and what doesn't. Some women have the courage to tell their men what they want and their men either get angry, upset or shut down. Still others ignore what their partner says and think they know better. No one knows a woman's body, like the woman herself. It takes a real man to be able to ask her and pleasure her the way she wants or needs.
11. Many women are running programs from childhood in their heads about what good girls do and don’t do. Shame and guilt even when married can still be an issue.
12. 1 out of 3 girls will be molested in childhood. 1 in 5 will be raped or sexually assaulted. These women are often  sexually dysfunctional as adults. This is not a medical condition, meaning there is nothing PHYSICALLY wrong with them. The dysfunction is of an emotional nature = and fear is trapped in the cells of the vaginal walls. Healing of the emotional trauma needs to happen along with physical releasing of the energy in the vagina, tops of the legs and g-spot. 40% of women are considered sexually dysfunctional. This is a HUGE issue. Read about healing sexual dysfunction in my book, Orgasm For Life. 
13. Chemistry plays a large part in women not wanting to have sex. If the thyroid is underactive, or there is not enough cholesterol in the body, or other blood chemistry is out of balance, orgasm may elude her.
14. When an emotion is repressed - whether it is sadness, grief, unhappiness or anger, sexual dysfunction can result. Many women have repressed their emotions for years and as a result are unable to orgasm. You can tell this is an issue as they will be extremely reactive emotionally. This indicates stuffed/blocked emotions. This is an issue I clear for my clients, painlessly.
15. Women need to have a deep level of trust with their partner to relax and have great sex. If there has been betrayal, women won’t trust their men. If a woman is afraid of her partner orgasm can be difficult. Trust is important no matter how long we have been married. 

There are lots of remedies for lackluster sex. Instruction, understanding, love and compassion. Communication is often lost after a couple has been married a long time. Once children have flown the nest communication may be stilted, rather than easy and open putting sex on the back burner.

Hormones, more direct and longer-lasting foreplay can change a woman's experience so that she is able to let go and achieve orgasm. Sexual healing as a part of emotional coaching and inner child work can heal the past trauma and release the old programming. 

Feeling alone, lonely or unloved? Are you sick and tired of being the alpha in your relationship? Are you tired of attracting partners who don't appreciate you or cheat on you? Is your husband better to his mother than he is to you? If you are ready to have the love-life you have always dreamed and know you deserve, contact Jennifer Elizabeth Masters here.