By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
In my research for my book, Orgasm For Life, I interviewed hundreds of men and women. Women complained that men aren't hitting the right buttons, or lasting long enough. When sex is over within a few minutes, your female counterpart may only be slightly aroused and left frustrated. Just because a woman is wet, does not mean she is ready for intercourse. Often oral sex is the fastest way to get a woman to reach an orgasm. For some, it is the only way.
Women need to have orgasms with regularity. I found that men often want oral sex, but don't want to give it. Men talk about how much they enjoy oral, but they seem to forget that women do also. Often it is the easiest way to get a woman to orgasm.
Sometimes men think that women's vagina's have a strong odor. It is natural for a woman's vagina to have a scent. Men have their own odors and scents. I suggest to come to the party fresh from a shower, for both partners. Making sex sacred, is all about cleanliness and honoring each other with respect. Anything you eat flavors and scents the genitals, of both men and women.
Communication
Good communication outside of the bedroom is required for sex to be great and communication in the bedroom to be good. Much of sex is non-verbal. To be able to respond to signals and queues your verbal communication needs to be excellent. Men, this means you need to listen to your woman, rather than pretend to listen.
What About Sex?
What can you do to satisfy your woman, so that you stay connected, and committed? For one, make sure that your woman has at least one orgasm before you do. I can hear some of you men balking. You can balk all you want. However, most women do not come through your magic penis alone! They need oral sex. They need to be digitally stimulated (with your fingers) for 20 minutes or more. Do not stop until she has had at least one orgasm.Most Women Don't Get Enough Foreplay
Most women need 20 - 40 minutes of direct stimulation to reach an orgasm. However, don't begin with her genitals. Begin with her mind. Tell her she is beautiful. Tell her she smells good. Tell her she tastes good. When she realizes that you appreciate all that she is, she will let go more easily. Women need to know that their man finds them attractive, rather than just a receptacle for his penis and sperm.
Quote from Orgasm For Life:
From Chapter 5 - Anatomy of An Orgasm
Women need more stimulation than the in-out of a penis or tongue in our vagina to reach an orgasm.
My little side note:
(And if you are lapping at her clitoris like a kitten at a bowl of milk - you are way off base here fellas!) You have to act like you are enjoying it. Think of blow jobs. How would you feel if your woman was performing fellatio on you with a look of disgust and saying, "EWWWW!" It would not get you where you want to go, would it? Well, neither will your disgust of the female form.
Target practice is what I call it when a sexual partner bypasses personal interaction as well as lips, breasts, inner thighs, skin, and zeros in on the clitoris and vaginal opening.
Women have so many wonderful body parts to stimulate. This heightens our pleasure centers, which would assist with arousal. Take your time and focus on each one for ten minutes. Instead of rushing to the finish line like a linebacker on Superbowl Sunday, slow down you stallion! Great lovers take their time, but don't rush pleasure. Anticipation is key to heightened pleasure. Faster is not better -- vary speed with pressure, try different things.
Getting a man to change his style of lovemaking may be gradual. Give him encouragement when he does something that feels good. However, some people don't
The Donut Hole on The Concession Stand of Life
When you don't have a deep connection with your woman, she feels it. When there is no connection and you just are looking for a hole to plunge your throbbing penis into, we feel like we are just the donut hole on the concession stand of life. Believe me, it is not a good place to be.
How To Perform Oral Sex - For WOMEN
The key to pleasuring a woman is to pleasure her first. Giving is better than receiving, remember? Make it the best oral sex of your life. Generosity is a function of the heart, not the wallet. You will be amazed at how grateful she is for having her orgasm first without having to do anything for you. (She will return the favor, later.)
The key to pleasuring a woman is to pleasure her first. Giving is better than receiving, remember? Make it the best oral sex of your life. Generosity is a function of the heart, not the wallet. You will be amazed at how grateful she is for having her orgasm first without having to do anything for you. (She will return the favor, later.)
- Get comfortable. You might be here for a while.
- The better job you do, the better orgasm your woman will have. So get into it. Act like you like it. If you don't she will feel it. Get a pillow and prop yourself up.
- If she tells you she isn't in to oral sex tonight, it does not mean that you never have to go down on her ever again! It means, just not tonight. Maybe she has something going on down there she doesn't want to discuss with you. Saying "no" once, does not mean you get the rest of your relationship off!
- Begin on the outside of the vulva. Kiss around the outer labia.
- Gradually make your way to the clitoris. Kiss, lick, suck the clitoris slowly, building pressure as you go. The clitoris has twice the number of nerve endings that a penis does. It is very sensitive. Begin gently. Work up to increased pressure, or sucking.
- Insert one finger slightly inside the vaginal opening. Manually stimulate with one finger on the upper wall of the vagina. Continue stimulating with your finger AND continue using your tongue and mouth on her clitoris. You can use a rapid fire technique with your tongue. Keeping your tongue a little stiff, rather than wide and slurping.
- Don't rush her. Don't tell her to hurry up and come! Be patient. The more into it you are, the more she will relax and let go.
- If she passes out, you did a good job! Seriously, you will know when she comes, she will let you know. If she asks you to stop, do as she asks. You may want to have a tap-out signal, to let each other know she's had enough. She might not be able to form any words. This is also a really good sign you did a great job! Congratulations! You got her to smile. You might even have gotten her to laugh. That is a beautiful thing!
Jennifer is a life, love and sex coach. She is the author of Orgasm For Life. Her website is http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com
