If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it's probably a duck!
|If it looks like a duck and walks like one, it probably is one|
Men and women are sometimes choosing to begin dating before their divorce is final. What are the pitfalls of dating before you are divorced? What is the downside of dating someone who is not yet divorced?
Men are much more likely than women to remarry after a divorce for several reasons. Men feel they will have more regular sex when married. Men are used to being taken care of, often having their laundry done, meals prepared and sometimes even the yard work done by their wife. Women on the other hand are more likely to remain single after finding their new found freedom for the opposite reasons that men tend to remarry. Women are often fed up with taking care of a man and prefer the freedom of single hood.
- The person you are dating may never get divorced.
- Because they are still married, they are really not present with you.
- They cannot commit because they are already in a committed relationship with someone else. See the dilemma?
- There is no guarantee that they won't reconcile.
- If they are having an affair with you, what makes you think they won't be unfaithful to you also.
- You can't completely trust someone who has had an affair.
- They may say they are sleeping on the couch, but they are still co-habitating. They had sex before. They know each other intimately. The chances are they will have sex again, and again and again before they divorce.
- You are out of integrity. Since integrity is really all we have got, this is a really big deal.
- There is karma. If you are sleeping with a married person, the chances are that this karma will come back around and bite you in the butt when you really don't want it to.
- You are providing a distraction for them during a difficult time. You are distracting them from their pain, their problems and what they really need to be focusing on: getting out of their marriage.
- You have a duck. Well sort of, you are really sharing a duck.
- You will have lots of free time.
- You won't have to worry about spending time with your boyfriend or girlfriend's family during the holidays because they will be with their family.
Don't get me wrong. They may be a really nice person. However, you could be waiting until pigs fly, or the sun burns itself out before their marriage if final - if it ever is. Many people SAY they are getting a divorce and never leave their spouse. Think carefully. Choose wisely.