Showing posts with label heartache. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heartache. Show all posts

Sunday, February 28, 2016

How To Be Your Own Lover After A Breakup

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Coaching my 19-year-old daughter for the past four months after a damaging breakup has brought the anguish and heartbreak to my door. When we don't feel loved by our partner, we feel inadequate. When we face rejection, betrayal or abandonment in our relationship, how can we take care of ourselves?


First of all, you must know that once love exists it can never be taken away, no matter what another believes. Love is. Love is energy, not an emotion. Loving yourself through the aftermath takes compassion, gentleness and acceptance.

You Are Enough!

No matter what happens in life, you are already enough. You are whole and complete. There is nothing to do, nothing to change, nothing to eradicate. You are enough. When we focus on the pain, what went wrong, trying to be a Monday morning quarterback, rehashing all that you should have done, and asking yourself why only serves to make you feel worse. 

You Are Loved

Love exists as a vibrational energy. Love is in every plant, tree, a blade of grass, molecule, atom and breath you take. Breathe in love. The Divine loves you. Source energy loves you. The angels love you. The plants and trees love you. You are important on this planet.

You Are Unique

Trying to be different to please someone else means you aren't you. Be the best version of you that you can. Don't apologize for being you. You have your talents, abilities, and personality. You may be quirky like me, maybe even a little bit weird, that's okay. Be YOU! Be yourself fully. Speak your truth. Allow your authentic voice to speak. Speak your personal truth. There is no need to change who you are for another, it only weakens your power. 

Be Gentle

Often we can be our worst critic. Harsh words or thoughts directed towards yourself for what you did or didn't do are not loving. Soften your gaze when you look at yourself. Hold yourself in a loving, gentle energy of love. Know you did the best you could. Be kind. Be loving and be gentle to you.

Look For The Silver Lining

When we feel damaged, broken or hurt it is easy to blame and feel that the breakup and even relationship was a waste of time. Nothing is a waste of time. You learned something from this experience. There is always a gift and a lesson. Look under the pile of crap for the gift. It is in there. Find it. Write about it, but love yourself through the process. 
Love Is Always Present

No matter whether you have been told that you are not loved by your partner, or whether you have been cheated on, there is still love there. Love cannot end. It exists. Anger may mar the feeling of love. Betrayal may make you feel hurt, angry, broken. Once love
Is shared between two people it is always there. Even in death love remains. When I read The Akashic Records for others, I feel the love between two people. I also feel the love that Source energy has for you. It is tremendous and unending. Know you are loved. 


Focus

I noticed with my daughter that her boyfriend telling her he didn't love her was her total focus. When I tapped into the energy he was holding, I felt anger. Anger was his focus. However, under the anger was love. Deep, unending love. Have you ever noticed after your anger clears you still feel love? It is because it is always present. No matter what is said. You always have a choice. What you choose to focus your attention, however, is what forms your world and beliefs. Choose to focus on being enough. Focus on thoughts that empower you, and make you feel whole, rather than broken. 

Healing Mantras

Your broken damaged heart is real. You may feel damaged beyond belief. I feel for you. There are several things you can do to help your body-mind-spirit feel less broken. Mantras heal the mind. They also shift your heart. They may sound simple but have great power. Here are a few to repeat slowly when you are meditating, first wake up or right before sleep. Using mantras when your mind is in neutral allows them to slip into your unconscious mind that is the software for your life creating your outer world. 

  • I am loved
  • I am safe
  • I am secure
  • I love me
  • I am whole
  • I am perfect
  • I am powerful
  • I am strong
  • I am harmonious
  • I am loving
  • I am happy
  • I am big, not small
  • I am powerful, not weak
  • I am beautiful
  • I am loved

I have been where you are. I know how betrayal feels. I know how it feels to be heartbroken and an emotional mess. I have tremendous compassion for you. An energy clearing can shift you within one hour. An Akashic Record reading and healing can allow you to feel deeply loved immediately. Just having one session can give you clarity, lift the darkness and negativity from your soul to help you feel more alive, focused, centered and loved. Perhaps you are ready to begin a coaching program to shift your mindset. Send me an e-mail and let's set up a FREE discovery session to find out if my work is a good fit for you. 

Download my free app on I-Tunes or
Google Play for 7 hours of free sessions, including hypnotherapy for success, clearing blocks to love, and wealth. Or find my books on Amazon to shift you. 

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What others are saying about my free podcasts:

clearing anger, depression, anxiety, money issues and love....
I can feel the energy through your words. They are very well done. I felt like I was melting into the chair. My energy level is way up and I have been using the mantras. I am feeling happier. Thank you! John.

The Cascade of Miracles Prayer is amazing. I have begun using it for others. Everytime I say it, wonderful things materialize for me as if as a bonus! Thank you Jennifer! Cynara M. 
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Saturday, August 9, 2014

Dating Before The Divorce

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

 If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it's probably a duck!

If it looks like a duck and walks like one, it probably is one


Men and women are sometimes choosing to begin dating before their divorce is final. What are the pitfalls of dating before you are divorced? What is the downside of dating someone who is not yet divorced? 


You've met someone. They are delightful, attractive, kind, even loving, but they aren't divorced - yet. When someone is thinking about divorce or involved in a divorce, they are clearly emotionally unavailable to you. They are dealing with issues every day of hurt, remorse, guilt, and have not begun to heal from the marriage that has not yet ended.

They Are Leaving Their Spouse

Humans have a tendency to believe what we hear rather than paying attention to what we see. We want to be loved. We want to believe that things are a certain way. However, if a divorce has not been filed - there is no divorce. Your boyfriend, or girlfriend is legally MARRIED. The courts consider a person married until a divorce is final. You are having an affair with a married person. Which means you are out of integrity.


Divorce takes time. There usually is property to sell, CD's to divide, furniture and often children involved. Settling a divorce can take years, especially when there is property or minor or children. The average divorce takes two years complete. Healing does not really begin until after the divorce is final. Even if the person has been dating all this time, real healing does not happen until the reality of the divorce sets in.

Even if their intention is to leave their spouse you could be waiting years for this process to be complete. It is unlikely that they will be emotionally available to you completely until after they heal.

Healing From The Hurts

Dating a man or woman that is going through divorce means that you will need to be compassionate, understanding and patient with them while the discuss their hurts, from what they are experiencing. You could even become the distraction, from their woes. Count on the subject of their soon-to-be ex to come up in conversation often. They need a shoulder to lean on, cry on and someone to make them feel loved, appreciated and cared for.

How Long Does It Take?

Professional therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists say it takes one year for every year married to heal from a divorce. In other words, if you have been married 20 years, you need 10 years to heal. From personal experience, I had 10 years between marriages. In retrospect, that was not enough time, as I still attracted similar people to the one I had left. Patterns need to be cleared and changed. If not, the tendency in humans is to attract someone just like the one you divorced. You may find they have a different face, but the relationship is very similar.

Men Are More Likely To Remarry Than Women

Men are much more likely than women to remarry after a divorce for several reasons. Men feel they will have more regular sex when married. Men are used to being taken care of, often having their laundry done, meals prepared and sometimes even the yard work done by their wife. Women on the other hand are more likely to remain single after finding their new found freedom for the opposite reasons that men tend to remarry. Women are often fed up with taking care of a man and prefer the freedom of single hood. 


The Downside

  1. The person you are dating may never get divorced.
  2. Because they are still married, they are really not present with you.
  3. They cannot commit because they are already in a committed relationship with someone else. See the dilemma?
  4. There is no guarantee that they won't reconcile.
  5. If they are having an affair with you, what makes you think they won't be unfaithful to you also.
  6. You can't completely trust someone who has had an affair.
  7. They may say they are sleeping on the couch, but they are still co-habitating. They had sex before. They know each other intimately. The chances are they will have sex again, and again and again before they divorce.
  8. You are out of integrity. Since integrity is really all we have got, this is a really big deal. 
  9. There is karma. If you are sleeping with a married person, the chances are that this karma will come back around and bite you in the butt when you really don't want it to.
  10. You are providing a distraction for them during a difficult time. You are distracting them from their pain, their problems and what they really need to be focusing on: getting out of their marriage.

The Upside

  1. You have a duck. Well sort of, you are really sharing a duck.
  2. You will have lots of free time.
  3. You won't have to worry about spending time with your boyfriend or girlfriend's family during the holidays because they will be with their family. 


Don't get me wrong. They may be a really nice person. However, you could be waiting until pigs fly, or the sun burns itself out before their marriage if final - if it ever is. Many people SAY they are getting a divorce and never leave their spouse. Think carefully. Choose wisely. 

Married Looking For An Affair?

If you are married and looking longingly at someone else, you are not fulfilled and happy with you. Until you are happy with yourself, no other person will change the way you feel about yourself and your life. You are the source of your pain and suffering not another person. Therefore, getting right with you - becoming happy and fulfilled FIRST is imperative, or you will do what I did and have four marriages and divorces before you come to a place of complete loving acceptance and total fulfillment on your own.

Happiness is a choice. It does not come from another person. It comes from you. It comes from you recognizing your soul purpose and mission in this life, giving back in some way, knowing without a doubt who you are and what you are here to do. I can help you come to this place. I did it and now I help others do the same. When you feel completely fulfilled on your own, you can take your time, date, or stay single. You will be happy no matter what. You don't NEED to have someone. Certainly you can choose to, but you won't be needy. 

Connect with me via e-mail to find out if you are a good fit to find your true purpose, happiness and soul mission. Here:

Interested in my books? http://www.amazon.com/Orgasm-Life-Jennifer-Elizabeth-Masters/dp/0692227172



 


Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Sensuous Mouth Loving Heart Connection

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters



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I love it when the light bulb flashes over my head and insight comes to me. I love when life inspires me, as it did yesterday. I visited my least favorite place in the world ....... the dentist. Driving away from my appointment, I began to realize how deeply our mouth and hearts are connected. Our mouths are personal, private and usually the first point of contact between us and another.



Our mouths communicate our feelings and desires to another. This connection between our mouths and heart is more profound that we ever thought. Our bodies systems work together, in synch and in amazing ways. Any issue that you have in your mouth goes to the heart. If you have periodontal disease, you will have an infection around the pericardium. Knowing this could save your life. Even the names are similar. 

We rarely think about the connection between the mouth and the heart. In July, 2012 when my ex-husband, died in his sleep from an abscessed tooth, his death drove home to our family, the importance of dental care, flossing and regular check ups. I wrote about this in one of my first blogs. Heart disease can be exacerbated by issues in the mouth, ultimately causing death. Being at the dentist drove home the connection about the heart and mouth in a different way.

Think about your first kiss. You may have connected through your eyes, before you connected with your lips. The anticipation of your lips first brush with one another is exciting in itself. Your heart raced, your face blushed, you were filled with an electrical charge. The heart produces electricity. As a matter of fact, it acts as our body's generator. A kiss brings an electric jolt to the heart. There is no doubt that a romantic connection exists between our mouth and heart. 

A kiss for men releases oxytocin, which helps to bond us together. Oxytocin is known as the God hormone, or cuddling hormone. A kiss is no small thing. It is a intimate moment where time stands still. An electric current ignites and moves between two people during a kiss. 

Men find women's lips sexy. Why? There are so many reasons why this is true. Men may begin to think of all the things they want to do with our mouths. Beyond the sexual, the sound of our voice that comes out of our mouths can make someone fall in love with us. A first kiss, can be like an electric jolt that runs through our body, culminating in our heart.

When we connect through a kiss with someone, a wave of current flows between us, igniting our hearts. Love begins with the first kiss. 

Our mouths can bring joy. Speaking kind words, telling someone how much they mean to you. Kind words can deepen love for someone. When we first get to know someone, talking on the phone, our focus in on their voice. We are entraining our energy with theirs through our voices. The words we speak to a loved one can have a tremendous effect on them, positive and negative. 

Our mouths can also bring heartache. When someone opens their heart to you, your words can also cut like a knife. Being careful to be compassionate, honest, open and loving in your communication even when delivering bad news is important. Using conscious communication means that you are thinking about what you are saying, before you speak the words. When we speak hurtful words without thinking, damage can be created that may never be undone or forgotten. Once we speak words, we cannot turn back the hands of time and take them back. 

There is no doubt that the heart and lips are connected, like a closed system working together for us to feel the magnitude of a loving connection. This spark, is like the small embers of a fire. When someone opens their heart to you, it is a tremendous gift that needs to be nurtured, protected and fanned to create a deeper for meaningful connection. With trust, honesty, integrity and compassion these small embers will burn into a fire that warms and bonds the two of you together forever. Love never ends. Our connection with another is always and forever remains. No divorce, death or severance of relationship ties puts a love completely out. It may grow smaller with time, but it is always present.

Join Jennifer tonight when she continues to discuss the chakras (2nd chakra - sexual energy) and how a blocked sex/second chakra can cause you money issues, issues getting ideas out into the world, as well as confidence.

(605) 475-4000 Pin 939401#  5:00 PM PST and 8:00 PM EST. Live and FREE! 

Jennifer is the author of the forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life
Here website is  JenniferElizabethMasters.com . Jennifer is a life, love and sex coach, hypnotherapist and energy healer. She has been a hypnotherapist since 1989, an energy healer since 2007. Her first book, Odyssey Victim to Victory is available on Amazon. Jennifer offers private coaching sessions to empower, create clarity, focus and find your soul purpose.