9 Break-up Strategies To Help You Move On

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Breakups aren't easy. Whether you have dated weeks, years or months a breakup will leave a painful void where there was once laughter, love, affection and fun. It is natural and normal to feel this way. 

With social media and texting, getting in contact can be so easy and yet, so difficult to resist when you know you need to.

Stalking your ex's pages to see what they are up to is like putting pins under your fingernails, it is torture. There is always a silver lining, we just have to look for it.

What you do post-breakup can change your life in positive ways. These are my best heart-healing strategies for overcoming and moving on from a relationship gently. 

1. Give yourself time to feel. When we have experienced life together and their toothbrush is no longer in your bathroom, you will feel more than a brief pang. You are going to miss them. Allow yourself to feel the loss and grieve. Sadness will come up even when you know the relationship didn't work on some level. Thinking that you shouldn't feel is crazy thinking. If you had sex, laughs, fun, enjoyed each other's company and shared your lives, there is a loss. Allow yourself time to grieve. When sadness comes up allow yourself to feel it, rather than attempting to stuff it down. 

Cry if you need to. Crying is a tremendous healing release, allowing stress to leave your body and calming your nervous system down. It's okay. Crying will not kill you. It is natural. 

2. Assess. Spend some time examining the relationship without judgment. Each experience we have with others brings us lessons and teaches us more about ourselves. 

Look back at what you were attracted to, what you liked and didn't like. Assessing will help you find clarity about what you want. Journal about what was good in the relationship. No relationship is all bad. Until you know what you want, need and don't want you will continue to attract people that you are compatible with you. 

No one is perfect, but there are some characteristics we might not be able to accept. Did you think you could handle a smoker, but found out you couldn't? Are you a drinker and they weren't? What are your deal breakers? Ask yourself the following questions about your most recent relationship:

• What surprised me?
• What was different from other relationships?
• What would I like from this relationship in my next?
• Was this person attractive?
• How did they treat you?
• What characteristics or values didn't mesh with yours?
• What did you find you must have?
• What did you learn about yourself?
• How did this relationship help you grow?
• What are you grateful for?

3. Don't start dating too soon. Many people jump from one relationship into another because they are afraid of being alone  (this used to be me.) When we are afraid to be alone with ourselves, it is because we don't feel loved. We look for someone else to fill that void in us which leads to disaster. 

The worst thing we can do after a breakup is to get back in the saddle before we have had a chance to grieve and assess what happened and what we want. Take some time to visit friends you haven't seen in a while. If you gave up yoga for your relationship - get back into it. Nurture yourself, rather than trying to fill a void or emptiness with mindless dating. 

Dating too soon means you haven't taken the time to heal your heart; it isn't fair to yourself or the next person you date.

4. Be Definitive. Once you have broken up, don't second-guess yourself or your partner's decision. Attempting to reconcile or being wishy-washy after a break-up does you no good. 

5. Don't be surprised if you crave your ex. A relationship loss is like giving up an addiction; it has a chemical and scientific basis. Find something else to fill the cravings and the void that supports you in positive ways. Do your best to avoid filling this void with sweets, carbs or foods that you know don't support you.

6. Exercise. If you feel the need or craving come up, go outside for a walk, run or do some yoga. Support yourself by getting some healthy exercise. Play music that helps you feel happy. Exercise with music allows you to exert yourself a little more and lifts you up when you are feeling down. 

7. Meditate. Meditation will help calm any anxiety you feel or misgivings regarding your breakup. Meditation relieves stress and can help get you grounded. Breathe deeply, filling your lungs to the top and exhale slowly. Continue to breathe deeply and slowly following your breath. If thoughts come up, just allow them to float off in a bright colored balloon, rather than to critique the fact that you had a thought. 

Envision light is coming through the top of your head into your heart and then send it down through your core, your legs, your feet into the center of the earth. Having a spiritual practice can help you feel happier with you and your life. 

8. Nurture yourself. Self-love is necessary for a happy life and healthy relationships. Have compassion for yourself. 

Giving to yourself in positive ways will help soothe your spirit and your mind. Instead of beating yourself up, use positive affirmations that are loving, caring and kind. Take a candle lit bath in Epsom salts before bed. A soak in a bath tub can relax your body and allow you time to do inward and meditate calming you right before bed so that you sleep better.

How To Be Your Own Lover After A Breakup

9. Be grateful. Be grateful for the love you shared. Be grateful for what you received. Be grateful for what you learned about yourself. Be grateful that you are still alive. Gratitude is one of the fastest ways to open our hearts and feel love. When we look for it, there is always something to be grateful for even if it is that we learned what we don't want in our next relationship. Once we have a love for someone, love is always present - even if they aren't with us any longer. 

Breakups aren't easy. Navigating your breakup using healthy strategies, surrounding yourself with positive, supporting people and keeping your body moving will help you process your emotions in a healthy way. 

Not every relationship is destined to go the distance. Know that this ending is also a new beginning as you are that much closer to finding what you need and desire.

My heart goes out to you. 

Jennifer is a healer and love coach that clears limiting beliefs, heart ties, blocks and self-sabotage from the past so that you can have the life, love, and happiness you desire. A healed healer herself, she helps others overcome anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, shame, insecurities that block you from having healthy relationships and happiness. 

Connect with Jennifer to schedule your free discovery

session to see if her work is a good fit for your happiness. 

Find Jennifer's books on Amazon.com

Jennifer is currently working on her third book: 

Happy Here, Happy Anywhere:

The Step-By-Step Guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without A Perscription!

How To Lovingly Let Someone Go Regardless of The Future

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

There is no easy way out when it comes time to ending a relationship. Following these steps will help you sever ties without destroying each other.

The only person we can change is ourselves. JEM

If one person is unhappy in a relationship, the other will be also. If you are feeling you are heading in different directions or your core values are no longer in alignment having a conversation is imperative. Putting off a conversation delays the inevitable. To be certain that you are at the end of the relationship road, ask yourself the following questions:

• Do we have different values?
• Can you see a future with him or her?
• Can you get excited about marrying this person?
• Do you still have fun with this person?
• Are you interested in making plans with them?
• Do you fantasize about another person?
• Has your partner become a stranger?

The Dangerous Truth About Jealousy

1. Be courageous and meet in person. Avoiding your partner or ignoring their calls is the easy way, but isn't respectful. Ignoring the other person isn't kind. You have to have a face-to-face conversation. Let them know you need to talk about an important issue in person. If you are afraid of your partner lashing out, have the conversation over the phone.

2. Meet in a quiet public place. A coffee shop, quiet restaurant, or park would work unless distance makes an in-person conversation impossible. Think about how you would feel if it were you on the receiving end. Where would you feel safe?

3. Be honest about your feelings. Lying about the reasons you want to end your relationship doesn't serve either of you. Are you moving forward together or in opposite directions? Honesty helps the other person understand and allows them the opportunity to have clarity. If you don't want to have further contact or be friends, don't lie to soften the blow.

4. Explain without blame. Throwing accusations at the other person isn't loving. Use, "I feel" statements explaining how you feel. Avoid using blanket statements about the past. Telling someone that they "never did" or "always forgot" will leave the other person feeling angry. 

5. Discuss any problems or issues no matter how small. Give your partner the respect of understanding what went wrong and how it affects you for the future. 

6. Be kind and compassionate. Breakups are difficult for both parties. There is no need to lob insults, call each other names, be angry or unkind. Tell your partner what you have enjoyed about them and what they did well. 

7. Give each other time to process. Avoid texting and calling each other to help soften the blow. What you both need now is time to tap in and feel. Constant texting and phone calls muddy the waters and give the wrong impression. Allow yourselves time to see if there is any chance of resolving the differences before you rush into a conversation. Allow a clean break by having what I call radio silence - no contact at least for three days. Sleep on your decision and see how you feel.

8. Return Belongings. Rather than leaving clothes, devices or toiletries hanging in the balance return them to help give closure. We have to let go of the past to allow love to flow.

9. Sometimes a breakup is our biggest wake-up call. We all have issues. If we continue to stay in a relationship where we aren't happy we aren't being true to ourselves. A breakup could be what you both need to see what you really want and allow the future to unfold in a clean way. If there is a chance of reconciliation, don't go back just to feel secure, or to have someone. Promises of change need to have physical proof of work and changes being made, rather than just words. Watch to see if actions match the promises.

10. Avoid farewell sex. There is no point in having physical contact other than a hug or kiss goodbye. Having sex only brings the two of you together strengthening the ties rather than severing them. 

Why Relationships Fail

You may eventually be able to have a friendship with this person. However, don't expect your romantic relationship to automatically become friendly. You both need time to heal. It may take years before they are ready, if ever. Allow them to do what is best for them. 

Ending a relationship in a loving way allows peace between you rather than a battle. It is possible to remain conscious and loving through it all. Pets, children, and friends are often involved as well. A breakup can have a trickle down effect for months. 

Jennifer is a healer and love coach that clears limiting beliefs, blocks and self-sabotage from the past so that you can have the life, love and happiness you desire. A healed healer herself, she helps others overcome anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, shame, insecurities that block you from having healthy relationships and happiness. 

Connect with Jennifer to schedule your free discovery

session to see if her work is a good fit for your happiness. 

Find Jennifer's books on Amazon.com

Jennifer is currently working on her third book: 

Happy Here, Happy Anywhere:

The Step-By-Step Guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without A Perscription!

Is Your Past Heartbreak Preventing You From Having Love?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

When we begin to date after a breakup, our past hurts remain inside our cellular memory. Emotions of rejection, betrayal, love unreceived, abandonment, anger and even resentment can surface in a new love when there is no reason. We always have choices, selecting the right partner sometimes means going beyond our comfort zone.

The risk is required to experience love again. Sometimes a very beneficial partner shows up, but we reject them due to our patterns from the past, judgment or fear. Let me share my story. 

If you have been visiting my blog daily you probably already know my story. I will spare you the painful details. I only mention what is germane to this story. As a child, I was molested many times by four different men. 

The first trauma occurred when I was five walking home from school when a neighbor invited me in for candy. Yup, the old candy and little dog trick. He had a Pug. To this day, I can't connect with little Pugs. Though I have done almost thirty-five years of work on abuse, forgiveness work; Comet cleanser and Pugs hold a powerful memory of trauma and memory for me.

Programs Created

Each even we have that is traumatic creates patterns and blocks in our cellular memory. Sexual trauma freezes in the cells creating blocks from fear.

The programs created could mean we keep cycling back to those who have addictive personalities, are alcoholics or abusers. That was the case for me. Unless you were a rageaholic, abuser or alcoholic, or child of an alcoholic, forget it! I wasn't attracted. 

My mother had a psychic reading done years ago where the woman told my mother that if there were 50 guys in a room, I would pick the asshole every time! That was my programming.

Clearing Old Patterns And Programming

Fast forward: I did therapy. I went to a hypnotherapist. I became a hypnotherapist. I had energy clearing done. I became a master at energy healing. I cleared myself almost every day for twelve years. I cleared till the cows came home. I perfected this work by doing it on myself.

Behavior Has To Change

Till I began to choose differently, nothing changed. I had to step outside of my comfort zone to someone kind, loving, gentle that felt weird to me energetically because it was different than what I was surrounded by as a child. My current relationship is healthy, balanced and loving. As my resistance came up, I was on the verge of rejecting him several times because it felt so unfamiliar. 
I always gave away the men who were most loving, because I was used to addictive or abusive behavior. Though the programs were gone, I had to change my behavior. I had to CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY.

Uncomfortable

One of my clients who has graduated from my program is a producer in Hollywood. She is a beautiful, loving woman. Her father was an alcoholic and emotionally unavailable. 

She habitually attracted deadbeats without income, that lied, cheated, were addicted to drugs or alcohol and mooched from her - like her father. It wasn't until I coached her to go beyond her comfort zone and encouraged her to date a man that was kind, loving and healthy did she have a healthy balanced relationship.

Like Grooves In A Record

Our programming creates grooves in our brain like on an old vinyl record. When we keep repeating programs over and over and can't seem to change, we have to reprogram our minds for healthy, balanced, loving relationships. We have to love ourselves enough to choose differently. The grooves deepen each time we repeat a pattern. It takes a lot of effort to go beyond old programming and do create healthy patterns to change the past.

We Need Help

Changing behavior is what I help people do. I offer encouragement, support, and energy clearings of past patterns so that new healthy patterns become dominant programming. 

Our Fear From The Past

As we step into new behavior self-sabotaging thoughts, come up telling you "they aren't good for you. You need to end this." It can be quite a fight to resist ditching the good for the old familiar and unhealthy patterns. 

It Happened To Me

I had my resistance to come up once I became vulnerable with my partner. I wanted to ditch him because it felt unfamiliar and uncomfortable. I resisted the temptation and walked myself through my old patterns. I saw my pattern of rejecting those who were good for me and opted for the bad boy or abuser.

We Need Help

To move beyond old patterns, we need someone who is grounded and loving to assist us. We need someone to talk us off the ledge when we feel we are in unfamiliar territory. Our unconscious programming tells us the new and unfamiliar is bad, when it's not. 

New Horizons and Opportunities For Love

When we open to new opportunities and change direction for ourselves, we can receive the love that is healthy and balanced. If you have patterns of attracting the same type time and again, this is the work I do. We can't do it alone because we opt for the old rather than the unfamiliar. 

When our family of origin was dysfunctional, we choose the dysfunctional every time. 

As promised, beginning Monday, May 23rd, I am offering eleven lucky people that move quickly an energy session for $75.00 off my regular price. $150.00 for a one-hour energy clearing. This offer will last as long as there is space available. First come, first served! Here is my PayPal link and I will get you scheduled. Either phone or Zoom, which is a video platform.

May 23rd until June 6th or until the eleven spaces are filled! Here is the payment link: PayPal

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE. 


Find Jennifer's books on Amazon.

How To Be Your Own Lover After A Breakup

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Coaching my 19-year-old daughter for the past four months after a damaging breakup has brought the anguish and heartbreak to my door. When we don't feel loved by our partner, we feel inadequate. When we face rejection, betrayal or abandonment in our relationship, how can we take care of ourselves?

First of all, you must know that once love exists it can never be taken away, no matter what another believes. Love is. Love is energy, not an emotion. Loving yourself through the aftermath takes compassion, gentleness and acceptance.

You Are Enough!

No matter what happens in life, you are already enough. You are whole and complete. There is nothing to do, nothing to change, nothing to eradicate. You are enough. When we focus on the pain, what went wrong, trying to be a Monday morning quarterback, rehashing all that you should have done, and asking yourself why only serves to make you feel worse. 

You Are Loved

Love exists as a vibrational energy. Love is in every plant, tree, a blade of grass, molecule, atom and breath you take. Breathe in love. The Divine loves you. Source energy loves you. The angels love you. The plants and trees love you. You are important on this planet.

You Are Unique

Trying to be different to please someone else means you aren't you. Be the best version of you that you can. Don't apologize for being you. You have your talents, abilities, and personality. You may be quirky like me, maybe even a little bit weird, that's okay. Be YOU! Be yourself fully. Speak your truth. Allow your authentic voice to speak. Speak your personal truth. There is no need to change who you are for another, it only weakens your power. 

Be Gentle

Often we can be our worst critic. Harsh words or thoughts directed towards yourself for what you did or didn't do are not loving. Soften your gaze when you look at yourself. Hold yourself in a loving, gentle energy of love. Know you did the best you could. Be kind. Be loving and be gentle to you.

Look For The Silver Lining

When we feel damaged, broken or hurt it is easy to blame and feel that the breakup and even relationship was a waste of time. Nothing is a waste of time. You learned something from this experience. There is always a gift and a lesson. Look under the pile of crap for the gift. It is in there. Find it. Write about it, but love yourself through the process. 

Love Is Always Present

No matter whether you have been told that you are not loved by your partner, or whether you have been cheated on, there is still love there. Love cannot end. It exists. Anger may mar the feeling of love. Betrayal may make you feel hurt, angry, broken. Once love

Is shared between two people it is always there. Even in death love remains. When I read The Akashic Records for others, I feel the love between two people. I also feel the love that Source energy has for you. It is tremendous and unending. Know you are loved. 

Focus

I noticed with my daughter that her boyfriend telling her he didn't love her was her total focus. When I tapped into the energy he was holding, I felt anger. Anger was his focus. However, under the anger was love. Deep, unending love. Have you ever noticed after your anger clears you still feel love? It is because it is always present. No matter what is said. You always have a choice. What you choose to focus your attention, however, is what forms your world and beliefs. Choose to focus on being enough. Focus on thoughts that empower you, and make you feel whole, rather than broken. 

Healing Mantras

Your broken damaged heart is real. You may feel damaged beyond belief. I feel for you. There are several things you can do to help your body-mind-spirit feel less broken. Mantras heal the mind. They also shift your heart. They may sound simple but have great power. Here are a few to repeat slowly when you are meditating, first wake up or right before sleep. Using mantras when your mind is in neutral allows them to slip into your unconscious mind that is the software for your life creating your outer world. 

• I am loved
• I am safe
• I am secure
• I love me
• I am whole
• I am perfect
• I am powerful
• I am strong
• I am harmonious
• I am loving
• I am happy
• I am big, not small
• I am powerful, not weak
• I am beautiful
• I am loved

I have been where you are. I know how betrayal feels. I know how it feels to be heartbroken and an emotional mess. I have tremendous compassion for you. An energy clearing can shift you within one hour. An Akashic Record reading and healing can allow you to feel deeply loved immediately. Just having one session can give you clarity, lift the darkness and negativity from your soul to help you feel more alive, focused, centered and loved. Perhaps you are ready to begin a coaching program to shift your mindset. Send me an e-mail and let's set up a FREE discovery session to find out if my work is a good fit for you. 

Download my free app on I-Tunes or

Google Play for 7 hours of free sessions, including hypnotherapy for success, clearing blocks to love, and wealth. Or find my books on Amazon to shift you. 

Get my FREE app and 7 hours of 

FREE recorded sessions with Jennifer!

What others are saying about my free podcasts:

clearing anger, depression, anxiety, money issues and love....

I can feel the energy through your words. They are very well done. I felt like I was melting into the chair. My energy level is way up and I have been using the mantras. I am feeling happier. Thank you! John.

The Cascade of Miracles Prayer is amazing. I have begun using it for others. Everytime I say it, wonderful things materialize for me as if as a bonus! Thank you Jennifer! Cynara M. 

Download my APP for FREE and get seven hours of audio programs with FREE clearings and The Cascade of Miracles prayer.  On I-Tunes On Google Play