Breakups aren't easy. Whether you have dated weeks, years or months a breakup will leave a painful void where there was once laughter, love, affection and fun. It is natural and normal to feel this way.
What you do post-breakup can change your life in positive ways. These are my best heart-healing strategies for overcoming and moving on from a relationship gently.
No one is perfect, but there are some characteristics we might not be able to accept. Did you think you could handle a smoker, but found out you couldn't? Are you a drinker and they weren't? What are your deal breakers? Ask yourself the following questions about your most recent relationship:
- What surprised me?
- What was different from other relationships?
- What would I like from this relationship in my next?
- Was this person attractive?
- How did they treat you?
- What characteristics or values didn't mesh with yours?
- What did you find you must have?
- What did you learn about yourself?
- How did this relationship help you grow?
- What are you grateful for?
The worst thing we can do after a breakup is to get back in the saddle before we have had a chance to grieve and assess what happened and what we want. Take some time to visit friends you haven't seen in a while. If you gave up yoga for your relationship - get back into it. Nurture yourself, rather than trying to fill a void or emptiness with mindless dating.
Envision light is coming through the top of your head into your heart and then send it down through your core, your legs, your feet into the center of the earth. Having a spiritual practice can help you feel happier with you and your life.
8. Nurture yourself. Self-love is necessary for a happy life and healthy relationships. Have compassion for yourself.
Giving to yourself in positive ways will help soothe your spirit and your mind. Instead of beating yourself up, use positive affirmations that are loving, caring and kind. Take a candle lit bath in Epsom salts before bed. A soak in a bath tub can relax your body and allow you time to do inward and meditate calming you right before bed so that you sleep better.
How To Be Your Own Lover After A Breakup
9. Be grateful. Be grateful for the love you shared. Be grateful for what you received. Be grateful for what you learned about yourself. Be grateful that you are still alive. Gratitude is one of the fastest ways to open our hearts and feel love. When we look for it, there is always something to be grateful for even if it is that we learned what we don't want in our next relationship. Once we have a love for someone, love is always present - even if they aren't with us any longer.
Breakups aren't easy. Navigating your breakup using healthy strategies, surrounding yourself with positive, supporting people and keeping your body moving will help you process your emotions in a healthy way.
Not every relationship is destined to go the distance. Know that this ending is also a new beginning as you are that much closer to finding what you need and desire.
My heart goes out to you.
Jennifer is a healer and love coach that clears limiting beliefs, heart ties, blocks and self-sabotage from the past so that you can have the life, love, and happiness you desire. A healed healer herself, she helps others overcome anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, shame, insecurities that block you from having healthy relationships and happiness.