By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Women need to know that they can lie back, relax and just enjoy what is going on without thinking about the time it takes. Each time your mind goes to something else, come back to the pleasure. Ask for what you want and guide him gently to the right place, pressure and speed you need.
Men can shower, shave and dress in the amount of time it can take a woman to get into the shower. Even when a woman intends to be ready on time, she likely isn't. Women take longer than men to do just about anything except maybe diaper a baby, or clean the house. When it comes to having an orgasm many men are expressing their impatience with their partners because it takes them so long! Women are wired differently than men. Think of it this way guys, if she were like you, she'd have a penis!
Why You Don't Want To Hurry Her Up
Have you ever noticed when you try to rush something it doesn't go well? Rushing a woman to orgasm will do the opposite. It will prevent her from coming because her focus will be on how long it is taking her. When you try to rush them to orgasm, their focus is on the fact that it is taking them too long, and you are impatient. Women the world over have been programmed to believe if they don't come when a man does that something is wrong with them. Women need more time than men. In fact, they need twenty to forty minutes, or as long as it takes. You have to let go of how long it takes. Focus on giving her pleasure instead.
Sex is about mutual pleasure not just one person's. If you give a woman her orgasm first, you will find she is very appreciative and just might give you what you want too! If all you have is quickies, it is likey you will be cut off at some point. Women don't do well with a steady diet of quickies. In fact, quickies can kill your sex life.
Sex is about mutual pleasure not just one person's. If you give a woman her orgasm first, you will find she is very appreciative and just might give you what you want too! If all you have is quickies, it is likey you will be cut off at some point. Women don't do well with a steady diet of quickies. In fact, quickies can kill your sex life.
You Can't Rush An Orgasm
Let's face it, if all women had orgasms as quickly as men, our society would be different. Our lives would be different. We would all probably be languishing in bed with our partners wanting to have sex all the time. Nothing would get accomplished, and our children would go hungry. You might want to read my article about why women stop having sex, a woman not having an orgasm is one of them.
When you focus on how long it takes, a woman will feel insecure. She will feel something is wrong with her. There is nothing wrong; she is different from her man. Men can come in two minutes. Most women need twenty to forty minutes of warm-up time to get close to having an orgasm.
Orgasm For Life
Have you ever wondered why a woman would write a book about ORGASM? Did you ask yourself that question? Most men are intrigued that I did. I wrote it because after four marriages and countless partners I knew that most men didn't understand women. I recommend you buy my book, it could be the best $18.00 you spend! Most women are so focused on their man getting tired or being impatient that they can't focus on the pleasure.
Take Your Mind and Focus Off The Clock
Women need to know that they can lie back, relax and just enjoy what is going on without thinking about the time it takes. Each time your mind goes to something else, come back to the pleasure. Ask for what you want and guide him gently to the right place, pressure and speed you need.
What She Needs To Do
- Know that while having sex men are focused on that one thing - PLEASURE. Learn to do this also. Let go of the household chores, lock your bedroom door, so your three children don't come bounding in the room. Stop focusing on the dishes, unswept kitchen floor or work projects left undone. Think about this one thing - pleasure!
- Get comfortable. If something pinches or hurts, you won't have an orgasm. Be comfortable.
- Know that you are beautiful!
- Breathe with an open mouth. As above so below. Opening your mouth will help open the sexual center.
- Make low moaning sounds, rather than high pitched squeals, this equates to the sacral chakra sound and energy that is your sexual center.
- If he is performing oral, ask him also to insert an upturned finger to stimulate your G-spot at the same time. This one thing could be what you need. Most men don't think of multi-tasking while performing oral. You will find this amazing addition!
- Squeeze your buttocks together, squeezing your anal sphincter like a pump. Squeezing your buttocks and doing kegels both front and back pumps up the kundalini that raises your sexual energy and will get you there faster.
- Move your hips rhythmically, while squeezing your anal sphincter.
- Each time your mind wanders to the clock, or how tired your partner is getting turn your mind back to focus on the pleasure.
- Envision yourself having an orgasm and letting go in your mind.
- Use a fantasy of something that turns you on. It's okay to fantasize while making love. An orgasm is over 60% mental and less than 40% physical. What your mind is doing is either taking you towards or away from the pleasure. Focus on the feelings of enjoyment.
- Allow yourself to let go and surrender to the process of letting go and building your sexual energy to a crescendo. When you surrender, you will have an orgasm.
For Men
- Let her know her pleasure is all she needs to enjoy.
- At no time can you tell her to hurry up. I'll slap you silly if you do! Most women need 10 minutes of kissing, 10 minutes of sensual touch, 10 minutes of massage, 10 minutes of digital or oral and digital (not with your camera silly - your finger!) stimulation. A total of 40 minutes!
- Tell her how good she smells and tastes. Telling her these things will help her relax and let go. (If there is a hygiene issue, take a shower together or run a bath for her first, so that you are both clean. Mutual respect means coming clean!
- Tell her how beautiful she is.
- Keep telling her how beautiful she is. You have no idea how turning on her mind will turn on her body. She needs to know you think she is beautiful.
- If she likes to be told she is sexy, tell her how she turns you on and how sexy she is. Find out before you get into the bedroom what her hot buttons are and push on them!
- Do what she likes, rather than what you want to do.
- Oral sex will get her there faster than anything else.
- She will need to feel comfortable, safe, and know that you have all the time in the world to get her there.
- Use a finger inside her at the same time as giving her oral. An upturned finger will locate her G-spot which will bring her to orgasm much faster than a tongue lashing alone! Buy my book so that you know other ways to get her there every time. Orgasm For Life on Amazon.com.
