Friday, September 18, 2015

Survey: What's Really Happening in Bedrooms

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

You're in emotional pain. You feel lonely even while married or in a relationship. You aren't having the relationship you want and certainly not the sex. You wish something would change, but you wonder what? You've stuck it out so long, is it worth leaving? Is it worth changing? Can you? Do you even know what to do? Can you be as happy alone as you can in a relationship? I say YES TO ALL! You might want to sign up for my group coaching when I offer it again in October!


Love Yourself Fearlessly Survey Results

The above paragraph is the gist of what I received. It doesn't matter if it is in Canada, Russia, India or the United States, people aren't happy in their relationships. Most of you aren't happy with you. If you are in emotional pain, schedule a group of sessions, or sign up for my group program. I promise you one session will make you feel better than you do right now. Three will get you to a place of feeling more than hopeful about life and relationships. Doing nothing guarantees nothing will change.


Thank you for taking the time to respond to my survey. I truly appreciate you. With these results, I am better able to tailor my writing for you. This article is full of resources I have created over the past four years. If you have an issue, I have most likely written about it. There is a search bar to the left, you can key in your concern and an article will pop up for you. If you don't find one, you can request that I write an article for you here: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com


Respondents


38% Female
62% Male

Age: Respondents ranged from 21 to over 60


Men were the significant contributors. Why? Men are more motivated by sex than women. They are also more open about their level of satisfaction. Women can be tight-lipped when it comes to sex and talking about it. For those brave women who responded thank you! To the men, I congratulate you also for your openness.

Biggest Groups:

40 - 49: 28.57%
60 +      23.81%

Countries

Canada
India
Serbia
United States

Biggest Challenges

Money 60%
No sex or not enough sex 60%
No relationship 50%
Worry 40%
No Love 35%
Emotional pain 25%
Quality of relationship 15%
Fear 10%
Low Self-Esteem 10%
Not enough love
Being Committed
No jobs

Employment Status

60% employed full-time
10% employed part-time
10% unemployed looking for work
5% not employed not looking
5% retired
5% self-employed
5% other

Marital Status

52.38% Married
19.05% Divorced
9.52% Single but cohabitating with significant other
19.05% Single never married

Exercise

19.05 Don't regularly exercise
14.29 Once a week
33.33% 3-4 Days a week
33.33% 5 - 7 Days a week

Sex Frequency

25% Twice a week or more
20% Once a month
55% Less than Once a month (SEXLESS RELATIONSHIP)


Group coaching will help you with worry, self-esteem, fear and emotional pain for starters. Feeling better about you will help you with your relationships. I can't tell you how just one private session with me can help you. Some of you prefer to to what is easy and stay with the status quo. Nothing will ever change till you make the decision to DO SOMETHING! Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results is the definition of insanity. 

I will do my best to address all of these issues in the coming days and weeks. For those of you looking for work, I recommend Fiverr.com. It is a place where you can sell your talents and earn some money. Some people completely replace their day job with Fiverr. You begin with a $5.00 gig and can increase the price as you increase following and success. You need to set up a Paypal account. Another site that available for those in the UK is Airtasker.com .


No Sex

Sadly some people have not had sex with their partner in over 20 years. If this was me, I would have been much more proactive. If someone doesn't want sex with you, have you asked why? Have you asked what about sex they don't like? What do they like about sex? Do they orgasm? Do they hate themselves? Do they hate you? You have to have a conversation to have change. What could be worse than what you have now? 

Many women won't have sex after a while because it isn't worth it to them. If they don't derive pleasure at all, or enough stimulation to have an orgasm, but you do each time, they will close up shop. 

Issues

No sex means something is wrong. Did someone cheat? Can the cheating be forgiven? Have you tried? Is there abuse, name-calling, button pushing, negativity or unresolved issues? 

When there is no sex, something is wrong. If there is resentment or anger from past issues work needs to be done to forgive. You usually can't do this without the help of a loving coach. I personally, do not believe or support traditional therapy. I have done it three times and each time it led to divorce. Therapy keeps you stuck telling the story of old woes and does not move you past resentment into love. When I work with a couple I work individually, rather than together. Each of you have your own issues. I help you heal your own stuff and stop blaming each other.

What If You Do Nothing?

Doing nothing means nothing will change. Avoidance of issues does not make them go away. Denial that there is a problem just will end up causing health issues for both of you. Personal happiness is your birthright. You have to do the work to get to happiness. It is what I did. I used to be in terrible emotional pain. The pain became too great and I knew life could be better. I also recognized that my negativity was killing me. 

Your thoughts create illness if they are negative. If you don't love yourself you may have issues with being a victim, addictions, loneliness, or reactive to emotional issues. You may be suffering in emotional pain. This is where I live and breathe! You don't have to suffer. You would be amazed at how a couple of sessions with me can change your life. (Group sessions will be offered again in October at an affordable rate.)


Relationships take sacrifice. You can't make it all about you. What are you giving to your marriage? Are you speaking your partner's love-language. If we come to the relationship with an empty love tank, it will be difficult to give love to the other. How do you love you? What do you do for yourself each day to nurture you? What do you do for her every day unselfishly? What do you give to him? 

Everyone Wants The Same Thing

We each need to love and be loved. Most people expect their partner to fill them up. Yet self-love is a requirement for a healthy relationship. Sex is also part of a healthy loving relationship. Believe it or not, having more sex will help you to want to have more sex. Both men and women responded that their partners were not satisfied with the amount of sex and closeness. 

Wired Differently

Men need sex to feel intimate. Women want intimacy to feel the desire for sex.

Men Are Not Perverts Because They Want Sex

Sex is a natural need. If you aren't having sex and are in a relationship someone is abusing the other. Withholding sex is abuse. If one party wants sex every day, this could be too frequent for your partner. You may have to come to an understanding of what feels right for you both. 

Women Who Wear The Pants

Women who act like men in the relationship can be out of balance with their feminine energy. We each have both masculine and feminine energy in us. I help to balance this energy so that you are more feminine than masculine as a woman. Equality in a marriage or a woman who feels more assertive than her husband can destroy the relationship. Even in this day-and-age we need to allow our men to be men. Emasculating them is abusive, rather than loving. No one is better than another person. If this is what you think, think again. This is ego-based rather than loving. 

We each have weaknesses and strengths learn to play to each other's strengths and delegate your weakness to the one who is stronger. 


Comments Section

To protect those who responded to me privately, I will group the concerns here. 


1. Want to help wife orgasm? Buy Orgasm For Life. Everything is detailed in this book you need to know to get her there. If you are really concerned spend the $18.00 and help yourself! Maybe you don't have the $18.00? Here are four blogs to help you get her there.

How To Turn On A Woman

G-Spot Fact or Fiction

5 Ways To Create Fireworks In The Bedroom

Sexual Numbness: Bring Me TO Life!


2. Women wants to help her husband open up to have more sex. Since I don't know all the details, this could be a case of low libido. I am giving you some different articles to read to assist you. Offer him a massage, or jump in the shower with him. Soap him up and give him a body buff - a naked soapy body slide! Talk to him about sex. Ask him what turns him on. Begin a conversation. Here are a couple of blogs for you.

What's Missing: Love and Tenderness

3. Looking For Love?  I highly recommend that you attend my course in October! It will help you prepare for love, open your heart and heal your old love story. Until then, here are a few articles that will help you love yourself more. 

Are You Truly Ready For Love?

3 Powerful Ways To Feel Loved Even If You Are Alone

5 Ways You May Be Blocking Love

How To Fall In Love With Anyone

Looking For A Bad Boy?


4. Emotional Pain? An energy clearing and coaching session with me will help with this. 

Recognizing Codependency

When The Pain Becomes Too Great


5. Worry. Worry is a useless emotion. Sometimes we get stuck in an old thought or belief that we just can't get out of. Again, this is something that I help my clients with. I used to worry incessantly. In fact, I had to take two Benadryl a night just to sleep through the night because I worried so much. Here are a couple of articles about worry. 

The Courage To Thrive

6. Fear? Fear could be because you have attached energies on you. Being near fearful people can cause this. It can also be caused by smoking pot, taking prescription meds. A clearing will help you. I used to be very fearful. Not any more. I clear the trapped emotion of fear so you can shift out of this paradigm.

Manifesting Miraculous Moments

How Can I Learn To Trust

The Gift Of Cancer


7. Sex Addiction? I have been helping people with sex addiction for over 30 years - privately. Now I help people deal with this through my coaching. Sex addiction comes from being molested. Give yourself the opportunity to forgive you and those who molested you. 


 Sex Addiction: My Personal Journey Out of The Dark


Ready to change your life for the better? Do you need to ask Jennifer some questions to see if her work is a good fit for you? E-mail her here: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com