By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Self Pleasuring is natural. Ask any monkey. Humans however, have shame, guilt and regret programmed around self pleasuring. Most people don't talk about it.
Self Pleasuring is natural. Ask any monkey. Humans however, have shame, guilt and regret programmed around self pleasuring. Most people don't talk about it.
But ask most men and they will admit they love it and do it with gusto! There is a little known phenomenon about masturbation and orgasm. Your sexual energy (kundalini) rises, traveling up the central channel (along the spinal column) which can give you a touch of enlightenment. It may only last seconds, but this exalted, incredibly euphoric feeling of bliss is real, a close encounter with something greater than yourself.
At a recent event, where I gave a talk, a woman approached me afterward. She excitedly shared what wonderful experiences she had masturbating. She felt free, empowered and powerful with the ability to pleasure herself to orgasm. For many women, however, the subject makes them feel uncomfortable. They are a little more reticent to admit to self pleasuring. Some women just never masturbate. Women and men are different.
Self pleasuring is a safe way to have sex, without a partner. There is no fear of getting an STD, or pregnant. You don't have to wait for someone to get home, show up or even be present. Masturbation is a way to get to know what you like. Self pleasuring can be done
with a partner, or alone. When you show a partner what you like, mutual masturbation can be the scene for a change instead of having penetrative sex.
There are wonderful ways to alter an experience showing your partner how to touch you. When you have pleasured yourself to an orgasm, you know what works and what doesn't. Self pleasuring is what I recommend women do so that they know what they like, and can then show their partner.
For those who are alone, or in between partners, self pleasuring is a way to keep your hormones regulated. If you are in between partners and NOT self pleasuring, your hormone levels can drop. The old, "If you don't use it you lose it adage," is true.
Masturbation can be the only way that some women have an orgasm. If you don't show your partner how to get you there, you may never.
Post Menopause
Every woman is different. Some women experience pain during penetrative sex after menopause. When the tissues in the vagina becomes fragile and hormones are very low, or non-existent, masturbation is a way around penetrative sex. A woman can experience pleasure without the pain of penetrative sex.
In Sickness and In Health
When one or both parties have illnesses, or have physical challenges masturbation can be the only way to achieve sexual pleasure. There is nothing wrong with masturbating each other or self pleasuring together. You might find it an exciting change of pace. Watching your partner self pleasure adds a new dimension of excitement to a sexual experience. If your fantasy is to watch, voyeurism while your partner is self pleasuring can really heighten your own experience. You might learn something fascinating about your partner that you can use in the future as well.
Pleasure is a multi-dimensional experience. It is more than touch. Talk to your partner about what you are doing or what you would like to do to them, while self pleasuring. Hold back on your orgasm a little allow the level of excitement to drop back and allow your sexual energy to circulate upward into your chest. With conscious thought you can do this. Or have your partner trace the journey of the energy with their finger tips.
Enlightenment
There are gurus in India that have masturbated their way into enlightenment. Yes, it has happened. It is not a widely publicized phenomenon, but real nonetheless. The sexual energy travels up the central column, culminating in the frontal cortex of the brain. If you
notice the feelings or orgasm while it is occurring, you can become totally present with the energy movement, feeling it culminate in the forehead, right behind the third eye (between the brows).
I have met many women who feel that they are in a higher place spiritually because they are celibate. Each of us has the power of choice. However, I ask you why would you deprive your body of such glorious sensations when it brings you closer to God in the end? It does not make sense.
Addiction To Masturbation - POM
Many men are addicted to porn, orgasm and masturbation, the latest acronym on the Internet. If you masturbate frequently, or rather too frequently, using it to mask emotions, you could be addicted. Sexual addictions have the same basis as any addiction. You don't love yourself. I work with men addicted to masturbation and porn. Self love is the cornerstone for a healthy psyche and relationships. Today, with increased financial pressures, divorce, stress, masturbation can be the go-to drug to change the way you feel. If you masturbate instead of having sex with your wife, or partner there is a problem.
Ask:
What are you avoiding? What do you not want to look at? What are the feelings coming up, that cause you to want to masturbate? There is no judgment in the work that I do. I have been there too. I had a sex addiction myself that I worked through. It all changed when I began to love and accept myself completely.
Pleasure is a multi-dimensional experience. It is more than touch. Talk to your partner about what you are doing or what you would like to do to them, while self pleasuring. Hold back on your orgasm a little allow the level of excitement to drop back and allow your sexual energy to circulate upward into your chest. With conscious thought you can do this. Or have your partner trace the journey of the energy with their finger tips.
Enlightenment
There are gurus in India that have masturbated their way into enlightenment. Yes, it has happened. It is not a widely publicized phenomenon, but real nonetheless. The sexual energy travels up the central column, culminating in the frontal cortex of the brain. If you
I have met many women who feel that they are in a higher place spiritually because they are celibate. Each of us has the power of choice. However, I ask you why would you deprive your body of such glorious sensations when it brings you closer to God in the end? It does not make sense.
Addiction To Masturbation - POM
Many men are addicted to porn, orgasm and masturbation, the latest acronym on the Internet. If you masturbate frequently, or rather too frequently, using it to mask emotions, you could be addicted. Sexual addictions have the same basis as any addiction. You don't love yourself. I work with men addicted to masturbation and porn. Self love is the cornerstone for a healthy psyche and relationships. Today, with increased financial pressures, divorce, stress, masturbation can be the go-to drug to change the way you feel. If you masturbate instead of having sex with your wife, or partner there is a problem.
Ask:
What are you avoiding? What do you not want to look at? What are the feelings coming up, that cause you to want to masturbate? There is no judgment in the work that I do. I have been there too. I had a sex addiction myself that I worked through. It all changed when I began to love and accept myself completely.
Women Who Don't Know
For women who don't know how, there are several ways to self pleasure. Explore your body parts. Try different types of touch from light tapping, to using your finger on your clitoris (at the top
of the vulva) turning in concentric circles. The most sensitive place for most women is at 1:00 o'clock. Or if you are looking at your toes, to the left of your navel on your clitoris. Apply varying types of pressure and touch to see what you like best. If you don't know what you like, however is a man going to know. When you have explored your own parts, you will be so much better able to explain what you like. Being able to ask for what you want is empowering. Instead of just taking what a man gives you, direct him. Most men have no clue what we need, unless we tell them. Even married men after 25 years, or more have no idea if no one has ever had the courage to tell him, and teach him. It is up to you to let him know, in a gentle, loving way. "Hey, honey, how about we try something that will be fun and different for us both?"
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Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, sex coach and educator. Her book Orgasm For Life will turn you on, make you laugh and educate you. It is a guide for men and women to better understand themselves and each other. To schedule a private session for sexual help, or to get some guidance about how to be happy with you, right now, so that you can enjoy sex and life better, contact Jennifer now: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com
