Hot and Exciting Ways To Please Your Man Orally

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Excerpt From Orgasm For Life

Oral sex is an alternative or additional mode of pleasuring your partner. The incredible thing about the mouth is that we can increase or reduce pressure, speed and sensations quickly. We can get wildly creative at the same time. Oral sex is one of the experiences that I have to be in the mood for, both to give and receive. 

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I don’t appreciate having my head shoved into a man’s crotch to force me to give him head. Forcing someone to do anything is not respectful. It is not cool! If a man tries to push your head down, you have many choices, and they all refer to ending the session immediately.

Men love to receive oral sex. For most men, it is the most intense sexual experience he can have because of the slippery wetness of our mouths. We have our lips, tongue and saliva to create a pleasure-filled experience. Get creative! My style may not be yours. You can use what you like and discard the rest.

What I will tell you is that your partner will enjoy having your mouth around his penis. I have never had a complaint but rarely have to use my hand to assist. The great thing about blow jobs is that you can suck at it. It will still be great because sucking is what it is all about. So have no fear and just relax. 

The caveat for men is that reciprocating is what “love-making” is all about. In case you don’t know what reciprocating means, it means to give back what you receive.

Have you ever noticed your man watching your mouth when you talk? He is probably envisioning all the delicious things you can do with your beautiful lips and tongue.  

Our mouths are soft, moist, and sensitive. The skin on our lips is similar to that in the vagina and anus. Following are my best secrets for giving the best Fellatio in the world to your man.

1. Get comfortable. You can lie down on your side and have him turn toward you, or kneel over him on your bed. Standing is also an option, but not great for him if he crumbles when he comes. He might fall on top of you!
2. Make sure you are hydrated. Hydration is always an important part of any sexual activity. If you are dehydrated, your vagina will be dry. If you are dehydrated, your mouth can be sticky and dry, also. So always drink plenty of water. You never know when you are going to have the opportunity for great sex!
3. Have a glass of ice water with lots of ice, mints, and a towel nearby. Coconut oil is good if your mouth is dry; it’s slippery but doesn’t taste bad. I don’t personally use anything but saliva, but you might want other options.
4. You want to make sure that you have constant moisture on his penis, or the skin could chafe or become tender. We don’t want a sore pecker. No no no!
5. Melted chocolate is an exceptional addition as well for those who have an aversion to swallowing semen. You could even make a banana split then add some whipped cream in a spray can. You might want a towel under his buttocks if you make a dessert out of him.
6. Begin with a clean body -- yours and his. We never know where this will go once we get going. Be prepared for anything. 
7. Wear something lacy that barely covers the tops of your thighs. Giving him a visual turn-on will make him happy on so many levels. 
8. Men love to watch so give him a show. Men get turned on from visuals. 
9. Make eye contact with him from time to time; he will love that. Remember we have more than five senses so stimulate them all!

I love the scene in “Father of The Bride” where Steve Martin gets a blowjob from his wife while driving home from a party. They, of course, careen into another car as his wife attempts to “relieve her husband’s stress”. 

They sheepishly explain to the cops what happened. You can perform fellatio in a car; you can perform it on a star. Although I don’t recommend it; it is very exciting, though. The very fact that you are driving a car brings in the element of danger as well. At the point of orgasm, most guys close their eyes until their brain boinks out of orbit. If you have your head in his lap, you can’t see what’s going on down the road either. Better to be safer in a chair or on a bed.

As with anything in the bedroom, I prefer to dance around a little, tease, kiss, nibble his ear, bite his neck, and gently draw my fingers or even nails across his abdomen. Most men will jerk upright a little as it tickles. No matter, it is part of the game. This activity is supposed to be pleasurable for both of you. Anticipation is the key to building excitement. So, make him wonder what you are going to do next, rather than doing target practice going straight for his penis and balls.

Onward and upward

1. Nibble his stomach to gradually make your way down to his pelvic area.
2. With your dominant hand, grab the shaft of his penis to hold it firmly, but don’t choke his junk. With the other hand, cup his balls and stroke them from the perineum upwards. This can be very exciting. Watch for his reaction, then focus on licking. 
3. Begin at the base of his shaft (although there isn't much sensitivity there,) lick upwards to the tip or glans. 
4. Swirl your tongue around the underside ever so slightly. Then open your mouth wide to take him completely in your mouth. It’s like a dive down onto his whole shaft. 
5. Grab a little sip of ice water in your mouth and then go down on his penis taking him all the way in your mouth. 
6. For a change of pace grab a mint and suck on him with a mint in your mouth. The mint may be too much for some sensitive guys, but it does give a different experience.
7. You can pop his penis out of your mouth and blow on him after minting him. It will feel phenomenal. Wet, then icy cold. Then deep throat him.  Open your throat by relaxing and slurping all at the same time, taking his entire penis into your mouth all the way into the back of your throat. Some guys love to hear you slurp. It may not be polite at the dinner table, but in bed, slurping is not only acceptable -- it is welcomed. Guys like to know that their penis is big enough to gag you, so don’t be embarrassed if it does. 
8. Make eye contact, while you take his whole penis in your mouth. At first, I felt embarrassed to make eye contact, because I had seen porn stars do it. That is exactly the reason you make eye contact because he wants his woman to give him head like a porn star. It will raise his level of excitement to see you look at him with his swollen member stuffed inside your mouth. He’ll be thinking about you having him in your mouth all day tomorrow and possibly the next and the next!
9. Think of how you would draw a Popsicle inside your mouth all the way, then pull it back out again. Do the same with his penis. As you draw back, a little do a little up down motion
   
   over the head of his dick. You might find this move will nearly make him come on the spot. 
10. Stop and go down on his balls. Take one ball into your mouth at a time and slurp them into your mouth. Give the same attention to his left nut now. Don’t ignore his balls; they are left out so often and need some tender love and attention. 
11. Stroke them, then pinch the skin a little and pay them some close attention. 
12. While you are down here, you might be wondering who his hairdresser is. YOU! You can trim his pubic hair another time. That is a great place to start a love-making session. “Hey, c’mon over here, I’m going to give you a haircut, now drop ‘em!” Trimming his pubic hair can be very exciting, as long as you don’t stab him in the process.
13. The underside of the penis and the head are the most sensitive areas.
14. You can do a shallow head bob up and down just on the tip of his penis to make him come quickly. Or, take your time licking, up and down the shaft of his penis holding the base of the shaft in the other hand. You can guide how much of his penis you take into your mouth with your hand.
15. Using your lips, you can purse them together so that they increase the pressure as you take his penis into your mouth to slide down on the shaft. You are making love to his penis. If you act like you don't like it, he will know. Giving your man head is the most private, intimate moment you can have with your man. Love him. Show him you love him.

As his pleasure builds, watch to see how close to coming he is. If he looks like he is ready to blow, back off, and stroke his thighs gently, or move up to his face. Have him eat you for a change of pace. Changing positions will allow his excitement to die down a little. You want to draw your love-making session out as long as you can driving him wild. Great sex involves our sexual energy building, then receding, building again and falling. 

If you hold back too much, however, you might find an inverted orgasm happens where it’s as if he internalizes his orgasm but does not ejaculate. An internalized orgasm is like swallowing within the penis. It is still an orgasm, even without the ejaculation.

The goal is to get him to be as close to reaching an orgasm without having him come just yet, then back off. Allow his excitement to die down a little, then get back at it. Slurp his whole penis into your mouth, then draw back and lick up to the tip. Swirl your tongue to the underside, where the penis is highly sensitive.

Think of your partner’s penis like a Popsicle or lollipop. Think of how wonderful it feels to lick an ice cream cone with Jamoca Almond Fudge or maybe something without nuts, like French Vanilla. Think of all the pleasurable things that you like to lick when you are going down on your man. Envisioning something that you love to slurp and suck will help you with any mental or emotional issues you might have that could potentially cause you to gag. 

The trick to a blow job is to relax and enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it but are holding back barf in your throat, don’t you think he’ll notice? It will make him feel bad. So get over your
aversion. Use thoughts that will calm your mind down rather than focusing on your very full mouth. I do hypnotherapy sessions with women to overcome any aversion to sex.

Know that you are giving the greatest gift your mouth can give someone. It is mind over matter. Get thoughts out of your mind that you are doing something disgusting. It isn’t -- it is loving and sensual. Once you think happy thoughts what does it matter if someone in your past said it was bad? It doesn’t matter. 

If you are married, it is one of the extra things that will keep your marriage together. Getting head is one of the main reasons men step outside of their marriage. Most women stop giving head after they get married, and men know it. Change this statistic
while continuing to love your man in this way, and he will be so happy you did.

Breathe through your nose. Relax. Remember to relax your throat. To be able to take in his entire penis your throat has to relax, opening your throat wide. Think of sword swallowing. The idea is to relax your throat. You might need to work up to deep throating after you have had a little practice. 

When it comes time for him to take him all the way in so that his penis is at the back of your throat, then swallow. I hear women say on websites or in books that it doesn’t matter whether
you swallow your guy’s semen or not. Ask a guy. Seriously. 

It shows disgust if you do not swallow. Let go of any feelings of disgust. Think of it this way; you are showing him how much you care. Swallowing is a sign of acceptance. Men love it when you do. They feel slightly sad when you spit. Spitting sends a message of non-acceptance. 

There are ways to get beyond the gag reflex. The mind is the best place to start. Relax your throat and just swallow quickly. Holding it in your mouth, then wondering what to do with it makes
matters worse. Your saliva will build up then you have more to swallow. 

Do it fast. Lick the end of his penis, then look at him.
I have a theory that the more oral sex you give your guy, the more oral sex you should also have. It is a scintillating reward for treating your man like a King and lovingly accepting all of him.

If you liked this excerpt, buy Orgasm For Life, where there are plenty more hot and pleasurable ways to improve your sex life. 

For Private coaching with Jennifer set up your appointment here. 

9 Reasons Men Cheat: Keeping Him Thrilled

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Biologically primal man was wired to "spray and pray." The spray and pray method to keep our species alive and thriving has been hard-wired (forgive the pun) into men's physiology for eons. Men can have sex once, and their work is done, a woman can be pregnant. He can then move onto the next conquest. Women carry a baby for nine months, our reproductive cycle is much slower. The primal man has been programmed to seek variety, mating with all types of women for the survival of the fittest. 

Some men never rise above the urgings of the primal man programming. Not all men cheat. According to Kinsey's report from 1950, 50% of men seek partners outside of their relationship. Those statistics have not changed significantly since that time. According to Kat Hertlein, Ph.D., professor of human development at the University of Nevada - Las Vegas 40% of men seek extra-marital affairs.

Men in positions of power, wealth and fame cheat because they love the thrill, or variety and the freedom. People like Ben Affleck, Tiger Woods, Arnold Schwarzenegger, had a lot to lose but cheated in spite of the risk.

9 Reasons Why Men Cheat

1. The thrill of it. Men cheat because what they have at home is a known quantity. Many men want excitement and a hunt. He already caught you, and now needs to hunt for something different. Their spouse is a known quantity. You may be perceived as dull, humdrum, even predictable. There is no thrill in predictability.

2. Variety. Men like variety. Many get bored looking at and making love to the same partner day after day. Most men want a variety in both partners and activity. It is part of their primal programming. Maybe you used to give them blowjobs often before marriage, and now a penis won't grace your lips except for birthdays! If men aren't getting the type of sex from you that they like, they may go outside for it instead. Men who have evolved beyond their primal programming or take their commitment seriously won't cheat.

3. They cheat because they can (get away with it.) Most men think their women will never have a clue. It is pretty easy to hide. Take a shower, or wash up afterward. Travel to cities away from home. I have to say, that cheating on a psychic or highly intuitive person is folly. Every time a man has cheated on me I have known it immediately. 

4. They rationalize that they have reasons to cheat. If their wife is bitchy, doesn't want sex or isn't into it, many men feel justified. If they aren't getting their needs met at home, they feel vindicated by having meaningless sex away from home.

5. Women at home aren't as attractive. Women often look very different after 20 years of marriage, children and life. Some women gain weight, lose interest in taking care of themselves and let themselves go. An attractive younger woman with a tight body can be the allure. Too often after years of living with the same man, we women can stop spending money on expensive lingerie, maybe we don't have the budget because we are paying for college. Whatever the reason, men like the sexiness of sleek new lingerie and a surprise every now and then.

6. Sex outside of marriage is easy. Affairs can be far simpler than dealing with a marriage partner. Without the emotional baggage, sex is often just sex, without any emotional involvement at all. Without kids to bathe, dogs to walk or dishes in the sink, affairs offer the freedom that marriage doesn't. 

7. An affair is adventurous. Over time relationships can be void of anything out of the ordinary. Many men desire the adventure that sex outside of marriage offers. 

8. Having sex with a stranger can be very exciting. If your sex life at home is anything but exciting, this could be just cause for a man to stray.

9. His father did it. DNA plays a significant role in whether a man is faithful or not. If his father was monogamous, it is likely he will be too. If his father stuck his wick in many ink bottles, he will too. Often what our parents modeled for us is what is replicated in our relationships.

What You Can Do To Keep Him Home

I talk about this frequently in my book, Orgasm For Life, as well as here on my blog: men need change. They like excitement and the thrill of the hunt. Here are some ways to create more excitement, delight and passion in your relationships to keep him wanting you more.

1. Change it up. You have a shower, kitchen, dining room table, couch, and a floor, use them all. Having sex in the same bed
   
   every time could become boring for the most orderly and OCD person.
2. Travel. Going away together can be enough to create excitement. A beach can be a great turn on as vitamin D is needed to produce hormones in our bodies. 
3. Schedule time. In business, there is a rule of thumb, "If it isn't on the calendar, it won't happen." Although scheduling sex takes the spontaneity out of the equation, sex therapist Janice Epp, Ph.D., dean of the Institute for Advanced Studies of Human Sexuality in San Francisco recommends scheduled "sex time."
4. Buy a wig. Men like to experience being with someone new. Wearing a wig or clothes you wouldn't normally wear could
   
   make him feel like he is having sex with someone new. 
5. Talk about sex. Talking about your desires can shift your perspective and open the door to being more vulnerable, risk taking and creative about your experiences together.
6. Talk about your fantasies. Everyone has fantasies about sex. If you don't get some! Fantasies can turn you both on, but you have to open up and share your thoughts.
7. Go out to dinner and tell him you aren't wearing underwear. Let him know you are hot for him, tell him how amazingly sexy he is and how incredible he makes you feel. Sex begins in the brain talking before sex can turn you both on so you will be scrambling up the stairs once you get home.
8. Role play. Dress up so that he doesn't see what you are wearing. Meet in a bar and pretend you don't know each other. Pretend to pick him up just to boink him. Oh come on, it's all good fun. 
9. Have sex in his car/truck. I remember driving out into a pasture with my husband and feeling in the mood. When I suggested
   
   sex in the back seat, he jumped at the chance. It was probably the best quickie we ever had.
10. Play a game like nude BINGO, or poker. Take an article of clothes off each time one of you loses. Have some fun!
11. Take a salsa class together and go out dancing. Dance can be a
    
    very sensual experience where you are close together but not able to have sex. When you are out in public, holding one another close, you can get turned on, feel the anticipation and excitement building that can make for an exciting love-making session once you do get home.You would be surprised how little you hold each other till you spend some time dancing. Early in our relationships, we lie naked together for hours, talking feeding each other and making love all day. Over time, a sexy afternoon may be the closest you get to the "goog old days!" 

Boredom in a relationship is deadly. We have to be learning, growing together and making love regularly.  Staying intimate takes effort, desire, and connection. Robots are not intimate. If your relationship is robotic change something. 

If you stop talking or stop having sex, you can regroup and recover with some effort. Love was once there. It still is, you just have to get out your feather duster, sandblaster and maybe a jackhammer to unlock the desire that needs to be fanned with your soft breath on his neck, or maybe his package to wake him out of his slumber. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach and author of Orgasm For Life. She works with those who want to feel fulfilled, excited and joyful in their lives, relationships, and work. Jennifer has an innate ability to hear and feel what is going on inside you guiding you into your Goddess self. 

Feel like something is missing? Jennifer will help you find your inner passion and love for yourself, your partner and life. Contact her for your 30-minute free discovery session to determine if her work is a good fit for where you long to be.

My Wedding Date: Rekindling A Love Affair

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

How long can one hold onto past hurt? As long as we choose to ignore it. We have to sit in the feeling of sadness, rejection or pain, let it go, releasing the pain, sorrow and grief to move on. We have to consciously let go. It is not just a matter of thinking, “I let you go.” We have to move the energy of our emotions.

Our pain and emotions surrounding past events don’t disappear. They take a nose dive, deep within us, like a Kamikaze plane. Those feelings go down in flames and continue to burn, eating away at us, from a faraway place. Surfacing only when a similar situation triggers an emotional reaction from us. 

When we return to a past event, by meeting someone from our past, being emotionally triggered by a similar event, or think back do they begin to be revealed. Of course, we have to be honest and not avoid the truth to recognize what is present within us. We have to forgive, both ourselves and the other people we feel hurt us to release the past hurt and stuck emotions.

What happens if we don’t? I wondered that myself recently. I had the opportunity to re-connect with a man I had a deep, powerful, intimate connection with 40 years ago. Our love affair ended abruptly when I crossed boundaries that he revealed to me in advance. It was so long ago, I don’t remember if I was challenged by his line in the sand, or if it was because I lacked personal boundaries of my own at that time. People who lack healthy boundaries often cross other people’s. In my twenties if someone told me not to do something, I did exactly what I was asked not to do. Knowing the rebel I was in my younger days, I don’t doubt that I wanted to test him. “Prove to me how much you love me!” Well, how did that work out for me? Not so great. Need to be caught up on this story? Read my blog: A Kiss And Affair That Stopped Time.

As soon as I did what he asked me not to do, he terminated our relationship. I was in shock. His response floored me. I did not expect him to leave me. What we had was hot, fun and adventurous. We met while working as flight attendants for Air Canada. Fast forward to today. Fast forward to today.

The One That Got Away

I don’t know about you, but I often go back in my mind to my torrid love affairs and wonder about what might have been? What was good about one man, what I didn’t like about another. I drifted over my sexual experiences in early 2014, when I wrote Orgasm For Life. My memories of my sexual encounters are very clear. Like watching a movie in my mind. One man resurfaced repeatedly. I wrote about our experiences in my second book, Orgasm For Life in several chapters. I hazily remembered our travels, the lamb and pomme frits (home made French fries) we enjoyed in Belgium, the cafes, and wild sex under the Eiffel Tower in Paris. 

Was it the rush of excitement that we experienced because it was forbidden love? Or was it a deeper sense that of all the partners we have had, was there something greater, more connection than passion? We thought about each other for 40 years. I would hear what he was up to from my long-time friend Joan who was still flying for Air Canada. He asked for my e-mail, and I offered a weak, “I guess so.” Forty years is a long time to wonder wistfully about what might have been. The one he let get away. The one I pushed away. As a healer and a mystic, going deep within is part of my daily life. I am not afraid to process pain, emotions or the past. In fact, I have done it so much, that I have wondered how much could be left to “process?” Plenty it seems. 

After Christmas, this past year, I visited my homeland - Canada. I spent time with my family of origin. On the very last day of my week-long visit, I had a rendezvous with my old flame. We met ostensibly for coffee, although he never ordered one. He talked for hours while I listened. Sitting in the donut shop near my mother;s home, he talked about his new home sitting close enough that his knees engulfed mine. It didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. My response was not to shrink back or to push him away. I was mesmerized by the feelings that never left. He connected with me while he spoke I was surprised that my old feelings surfaced automatically. I didn’t do anything. In fact, I almost canceled our meeting because I went into judgment about his perceived lack of interest. He didn’t respond in a timely enough manner for me and I almost blew off our meeting. How often do we judge others and say no, and miss out on something life changing?

Being Called Out On My Crap

My daughter, called me on my crap, telling me that I didn’t give him a chance. She noted that I immediately came up with excuses as to why he wasn't good for me. At first, it didn’t seem true. Whenever someone makes an observation about my actions or behavior, I take the time to look at what they noticed. I go inside and feel what is coming up for me. I sit with my feelings. In life, there is not much that scares me anymore. No one likes to have their heart broken. Shutting our heart down can close us off to our opportunities. Even married people close their hearts to their spouse after they are hurt by them.

What does scare me is my fear of having my heart broken again. When this man and I were making love under the Eiffel Tower and in hotel rooms all across Europe, I had no such fear. I was open. I had not been hurt profoundly. My heart had not been crushed by a man. We were wild, open and adventurous together. Perhaps I had the need to test his love for me. Maybe I was daring him to leave me by my actions. It has taken 40 years to get my questions answered. Tonight, in Toronto, we shall meet again. That might have been that last of him, had it not been for my mother’s suggestion, “Why don’t you invite (Mr. X) to Sarah’s wedding in June? He is a nice man.”  

“He probably won’t want to go,” said I. On some level, I felt it would be fun to have a date for my niece’s wedding. Mr. X had offered his home and a car anytime I was in Toronto when we met in January. People often make those type of offers, do they mean it when they do? I sent him an e-mail a few days later. I was surprised at his response. Not only did he want to go with me, he offered four different color suits, to go with whatever I was wearing. He had other thoughts and suggestions as well. He obviously had given the weekend some thought.

We had a choice of vehicles, his Honda or a sportscar. He asked what about a gift? He suggested a big fat envelope of cash, “everyone likes to get money as a wedding gift!” He said it would be fun.  This was not the response I expected. I expected to be rejected as he had in the past. My cells were programmed for his rejection. I was being triggered by this liaison. I had specifically cleared my family of origin, my past husbands, other men I had relationships  with, my children and my work. I had not gone back 40 years to clear the issues with him and his ending our relationship. 

What I have discovered is that we can clear generic emotions. When the hurt is deep, we have to clear specific emotions pertaining to that individual to heal heartbreak. Each time our heart is broken we build a shield of protection around it. We surround

ourselves with so much armor that no one can break through. In fact, we repel love and potential partners with this shielding. From January to June, I thought about him. I felt safe in the fact that there was plenty of time before my niece’s wedding. 

Until now. Looking for the parking deck adjacent lot jus to Los Angeles  airport, I knew something had shifted. My willingness to let go and recognize my own part in our breakup shifted my perspective. I hurt him. He didn’t just hurt me. Sitting on the Air Canada wide-bodied jet, hours away from landing in Toronto, feeling a sense of being here before, the deja vu is real. I have let the hurt go. I decided that I held the responsibility for the ending of our relationship as much as he did. He was as hurt, if not more than me from my disrespecting his personal boundaries. 

Somewhere in the ethers a door opened. Then another one, and another one. My willingness to shift caused the Universe to move. A wind blew, changing my direction. A door opened and I walked through it. Standing on the other side of pain, I am open, feeling a profound anticipation of what the infinite possibilities could be of our weekend wedding date.

If you liked this, let me know. Share it with your friends. Post it on FaceBook. The romance continues as I embark into the great unknown with the excitement of a teenager in a woman’s body. Stay tuned for Part II of My Wedding Date.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a happy woman. She lives fully present, engaged, open to the unlimited possibilities of The Universe. She assists women and men with sexual dysfunction, self esteem, self loathing, depression, anxiety, anger, fears, grief, shame and guilt. She works with those people willing to commit financially and emotionally to healing as if their life depended on it, because it probably does. Our thoughts create our reality. If we are struggling with pain, disease or illness, it is because of unresolved emotional issues within us. You can contact her here to set up an appointment to work with Jenifer.