How To Get What You Desire Quickly

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

The more you focus on the good in your life, the more good that will come to you. The more you focus on lack, limitation, being a victim or victimized, the more negative events and challenges that materialize.

Maybe your husband cheated on you.
Maybe your husband was gay,
Maybe things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to.
There is always a silver lining. Look for the silver lining. 

Find gratitude in every situation. What can you find to be grateful for? Perhaps you don't live where you would like to but you do have a roof over your head. Be grateful that you have a safe place to sleep.

Manifesting is something we do whether it is unconscious or conscious (awareness). When we complain about our circumstances, we stay there because we don't have gratitude for what we have. Once we step into gratitude for what we have, miracles begin to happen, we find the guy or gal, we get the raise we've been waiting for. Gratitude will shift you into a higher vibration and open your heart faster than anything. Focus on the positive and look for the silver lining. You will find when you do that better days begin to happen more frequently.

Visit JenniferElizabethMasters.com and get your FREE download of Transmuting Worry and become Worry-Free! Most people report that their anxiety diminished and they were able to sleep peacefully!

15 Reasons Not To Walk Down The Aisle With Him

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Vera Wang Wedding Dress

Divorce statistics are staggering. According to The Huffington Post, thirty percent of women marry the wrong guy. I was one of them. 

We dream of our perfect wedding day, walking down the aisle, to marry the man we will be happy with until the day we die. Yet for thirty percent of women, they know before they walk down the aisle that they are making a terrible mistake. Why do women tie the knot anyway?

Women continue to make plans and get married for the following reasons:

• They feel marriage will magically fix any problem.
• They feel their biological clock is ticking
• Better this guy than no one.
• They feel if it doesn't work, "I can always get a divorce."

Women are unsure what they feel is true. They focus on the future, thinking things will be different, when....They explain away the red flags. The wedding plans are already in motion and they don't want to be embarrassed by calling it off. The truth is that divorce has a higher cost than a wedding both financially and emotionally even before children are present. Here are my tried and true 15 reasons not to marry the guy:

1. You have caught him in lies repeatedly. Someone who lies habitually will continue to lie after marriage. Some liars are sociopaths and never change. Lying can be addictive and something that becomes a compulsion. A marriage built without trust is not a marriage of longevity. You can't build a happy marriage without trust. People rarely change. Hoping your relationship will be different after you marry is a fantasy. What you see is what you get. End it!

2. You are marrying his potential. Marrying a guy's potential is a mistake. We can hope a guy will reach the potential we see in him, but banking on it is a mistake. By thirty a predominant part of our personality is formed in stone. In Me Myself And Us The Science of Personality And The Art of Well-Being   by Brian R. Little, by the time we are thirty, we are pretty set in our ways. There is a very strong genetic component as well that contributes to who we are. 

Thinking a guy will be different after marriage is delusional. Think of what you have now as the best of the best. Most people succumb to the humdrum of life and settle in, relax into the mundane of life and feel they are set now that they've got you.

3. He is terrible in bed. Selfishness in bed translates to someone who is not generous and only interested in themselves. A guy who isn't selfless in bed will continue to be so after marriage. A guy who isn't interested in pleasuring you till you orgasm before marriage is unlikely to transform after you walk down the aisle. 

True story: Rachel and Wes had been dating for five years. They were engaged for one. When Rachel expressed that she wasn't getting to orgasm and that she needed more from him, Wes told her, "I'm good!" He wasn't interested in learning how to pleasure Rachel to the point of orgasm. He felt as long as he ejaculated that was enough. A guy who states he doesn't want to learn anything new, or change his skill set isn't marriage worthy. He is exhibiting a high level of selfishness and ego that won't change after marriage. END IT, SAVE THE YEARS OF MISERY.  

She did! Rachel recognized that her pleasure was just as important as Wes's and it is! She ended their five year relationship because she realized Wes wouldn't change. He didn't value her enough to give her the pleasure he was getting.

4. He won't try what you suggest in bed. In spite of what some men think, women aren't just guys with vaginas. A woman's sexual needs are different than a guy's. It takes on average twenty to forty minutes for a woman to warm up to be able to orgasm. If your guy lasts two minutes and says, "I'm done," he isn't doing his job. Both parties need to receive pleasure to the point of orgasm (unless a man is holding his seed).

Are Men Getting The Most Pleasure In Bed?

5. He makes it only about himself. Narcissists can be alluring and even seductive. However, one of the most difficult relationships we can have is when partnered with a narcissist. Narcissists will not take responsibility for their actions because they believe they are never wrong. They will make you feel crazy because they manipulate to get what they want and will never apologize because they never feel they are wrong. DON'T DO IT, YOU WILL BE ENDLESSLY SORRY YOU DIDN'T END THIS NIGHTMARE BEFORE MARRIAGE.

6. His past is sketchy. If a guy won't speak about his past, consider this a huge red flag not to be ignored. A person's past often dictates their future. Morals are learned at home; if his father was a philanderer and he cheated on his ex he will probably cheat on you.

7. You had an affair with him when he was married previously. An ill-begotten relationship will end the way it began, with him cheating on you with another woman. 

8. He has a different faith than you. If you believe in something and he doesn't you will have challenges throughout your relationship with issues other than faith. 

9. He doesn't have a job and isn't looking. Marrying someone who isn't working or looking is a serious issue. Do you plan on doling out money and alimony after your marriage ends to continue supporting him? A man's character is evident in the way he lives his life. Choose a man who works and is responsible and self-supporting. Someone who is unemployed and irresponsible now will probably also be in the future. 

10. He has anger issues that he can't control. Anger present before marriage will be present afterward. Marriage isn't the magic potion that eradicates a person's personality and issues. Anger present prior to marriage will only get worse. 

I married a man who had anger issues. Each time, he promised he would be different. He punched holes in walls and sometimes in me. His father had anger issues, his brother committed murder. He was a spiritual man who tried everything to release the anger. He died an angry man. 

Anger is a serious issue that doesn't go away. It takes years of committed work to heal and release anger, for others there is never any change.

11. He whines and complains. Whining is a sign of a closet homosexual or someone hiding their homosexuality. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people choosing to play for their own team, just don't marry someone who isn't attracted to women, this will never change. 

I married a man who hid his homosexuality because he was raised Baptist. He couldn't admit he was gay even to himself. After six months of marriage, he stopped having sex with me. Read my article Men Who Hide Their Homosexuality And Marry A Straight Woman. 

12. He's unhappy with life. Marriage will not make someone happy that isn't. Your love won't make him any happier after you marry him. Don't do it!

I recently dated a man who was well-paid, drove a really nice car and lived in a beautiful home, but he was miserable. When I told him I was manifesting something wonderful he peed in my Cheerios. He was a naysayer who poo-pooed everything I said and did. Someone who is unhappy will make you unhappy as well. 

Don't marry someone that isn't happy with himself and life. JEM

13. Your core values aren't in alignment. When our core values aren't in alignment we don't speak the same language. Marriage is difficult enough when two people are on the same page, singing the same tune. When we don't have the same core values we disagree about having and raising children, which church to go to and what our beliefs are. If you don't know what your core values are now, find out here.  5 Reasons You Need To Know Your Core Values

14. He has an addiction. Addictions are serious business. It can take a lifetime and longer for some people to decide they want to be clean. Addictions are dark with a deep-seated self-hatred. People who hate themselves are very difficult to have relationships with. The expression, "Once an Addict Always An Addict," came from the truth that addictions can last longer than a lifetime. 

Why You Shouldn't Do Cartwheels To Keep Someone

I have heard countless women tell me, "He's not an alcoholic he only drinks beer!" I have a neighbor who only drinks beer, but drinks sixteen tall boys a night. It doesn't matter if his addiction is pot, acid, porn, masturbation, cocaine, heroin, beer, wine or hard alcohol. 

An addiction is an addiction. It takes many years of dedication, courage, hard work, and stick-to-iveness to overcome any addiction. Once an addict is clean the anger and emotions are the next biggest challenge. A rejection of the self and lack of self-love is the core of any addiction. Your love can't cure him. Set him free and work on your issues of enabling instead. 

15. You are fighting often before marriage. Thinking someone will be different and more to your liking after marriage is a fantasy. Where else are you in denial about the truth? Marriage doesn't make a relationship easier, it is often much more difficult after you tie the knot than before. 

Marriage isn't a magic potion. Marriage is a certificate on paper that makes it legal for you to be together, that is all. In many instances as soon as the wedding is over couples recognize they have made a terrible mistake. When brides focus on the wedding, they forget what the marriage is beyond the one day of bliss. A wedding lasts one day, a marriage can be for years and a lifetime if you are really lucky and work diligently on your issues, growing together. 

A marriage doesn't mean the work is over, in fact the hardest part is yet to come. Once you hit the two-year mark people settle into being more authentic. Often the masks come off an one or both are shocked to find they married someone they didn't know at all. 

Are you searching for happiness? Jennifer is your personal empowerment and REALATIONATIONSHIP coach that empowers, cheers and guides you to be the best you that you can be! When you are authentic, living in your power and mastery, happiness flows!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters  is a wise and soulful healer, coach and hypnotherapist, who sees the root of people's issues and empowers her clients to grow, expand and be their authentic selves to live happier and more fulfilling lives. She assists clients in relationships, happiness, and dating issues helping her clients business make healthy decisions that make sense and are for their highest and best good. Ask her a question or choose to be empowered by setting up your free discovery session to live a guilt-shame free life of joy. 

Stop Attracting Bad Boys Who Cheat With These Tips

Women think that they know what they want. We look for and seek out the sexy, hard edged bad boy. When he treats us badly and sleeps with our best friend, or mother, we wonder what the hell happened? Yet, what do we expect? We picked someone who is a rebel, selfish, self centered and disloyal. 

Why are some women like the moth to the flame? We can't wait to self destruct? Afterwards, we cry to our friends about what an ass hole the guy was. When unconsciously we knew all along that this person would show us his true colors.

Sean Penn

Having been one of these women in the past, I longed for the sexy, hard-edged bad boy. The one all women would be attracted to. Women have a tendency to throw themselves at bad boys, at least I did. When we pick the really HOT GUY, usually there are many women vying for his attention and affection. The problem is that these bad boys are only reflecting back to us, the way we feel about ourselves - self-destructive, self-sabotaging and hateful.

Yes, when we look for the bad boys, we do it because we hurt ourselves with our thoughts. We are self-sabotaging. We attract someone to us that will hurt us the way we hurt ourselves. 

These bad boys are only a reflection of the inner workings of our mind. We feel unworthy for someone who will treat us like a Queen, so we attract a man who will show us our unworthiness. They will prove to us that a man can't be faithful to us. We feel undeserving, and they reflect that right back to us. These men don't apologize and are never at fault, they blame their women for their issues, whether they are alcohol related or sexual indiscretions.

Self-loathing is something we don't like to admit. When we expect perfection in ourselves, we are filled with an inner self-loathing. 

We don't accept ourselves as we are. If you are one of these women who always seems to lean towards the bad boys, this is showing you your own lack of self-worth. We constantly tell ourselves we are not good enough. We beat ourselves up, looking to be perfect but miss the mark entirely. 

Fast Life, fast cars, James Dean consummate bad boy

The truth is we are already perfect as we are. We are perfect in our imperfection. We have nothing to change, nothing to heal. All we have to do is begin to love and accept ourselves as we are. When we let go of our need to be perfect, we recognize we have already arrived. We are already there. We have already WON!

What Others Think of YOU is none of your business!

Worrying about what others think of us shows us our lack of self-love. When you truly love yourself, you don't need to be validated by the outside world, your parents, siblings or friends. You already know who you are and are happy with you. 

Focusing on what others think shows you that you have not stepped into your personal power. Your power is in there, under the insecurities. It needs to be dusted off so that you can see your sparkly interior. Seeing the beauty within you, loving what you see, rather than chastising yourself, or feeling loathing or hatred when you look at yourself naked is key. We have to love all of us, not just a piece or a portion. We can't cut off an arm, leg or a part of ourselves that we don't like. We all have faults, personality traits that aren't stellar and they need some tender loving care. 

Instead of being the tough Mother Superior with the metal edged ruler that beats us every time we don't choose well, soften your gaze. Look at yourself with eyes of love. Treat yourself like a newborn baby.

Instead loving acceptance and compassion for who we are leads to fulfillment and internal permanent happiness.

Eventually......We Begin To Learn

I used to go for the bad boys. They were not faithful. They treated me badly. They treated ME the way I treated myself inside. 

I didn't respect myself and they were disrespectful to me. It was all mirrored right back to me. All they were doing was reflecting back to me my internal circuitry of insecurity, lack of self-worth and self-hatred. 

I thought I loved myself. I didn't. Loving yourself is not just saying, "I love me." It is feeling it in the depth of your soul from the deepest part of your being. 

When you love yourself, you love life. You have a passion for living that makes everything come alive. Your purpose is evident. You live on purpose each day in every moment. You live in the present connected to your own Divinity within you. You feel connected to everything and love everyone. Loving acceptance of you, means you stop judging and CRITICISING  yourself and everyone else as well. 

When you love yourself you see the beauty in others as well as within.

It is So Much Easier To See Fault In Others

When our self-esteem is low, we easily see fault in everyone else. We point out other's mistakes. We try to change others. This focus on others takes the focus off ourselves. Seeing fault in others means you are in denial of your own issues. 

When We Are In Denial We Attract Liars and Cheaters 

Denial is one of the underlying signs of addiction. Codependency is an addiction. Being addicted to relationships - needing to be in a relationship because of neediness is the worst reason to be in one. Instead, love yourself first. When you love you completely accepting all of yourself you will begin to radiate that light of love out into the world. When you do, you will attract healthy balanced men into your life, rather than one who is addicted, abusive or will cheat on you. 

Until we heal and turn the page on our past, we keep bringing it into our future. JEM

When we attempt to find someone else to fill ourselves up and complete us, we end up attracting another person who has low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem are usually wounded. 

Wounded people hurt others. JEM

I did not have to control everything and everyone. I didn't have to try and change my partner, my children or my mother or make anyone better. I was in denial of my own sense of worth. It was far easier to look at others and see all their imperfections thinking that I was helping them. 

The Big AHA - We Mirror Each Other

When I began to realize that every relationship I had was just a reflection of how I felt about myself, my world began to change. JEM

I realized I was not a victim. Everyone was not out to get me, as I previously thought. The Universe was not hateful. It was just boomeranging the thoughts that I had about me. 

When I began to focus on positive thoughts and asked questions instead of making closed-ended statements, it was like magic. 

Good things began to materialize for me in all areas of my life. Instead of saying to myself life is hard, I began to see how life worked FOR ME! I began to manifest in the moment when I asked: 

"How can I effortlessly and easily attract someone who loves me unconditionally?"

What Are Closed-Ended Statements?

1. Life isn't fair.
2. The world isn't a safe place.
3. Men/women always cheat on me.
4. Everyone is out to get me.
5. No one will ever love me.
6. I am too old.
7. I am too fat.
8. I am not attractive.
9. There is no one out there for me.
10. I am always alone.
11. I will always be alone.
12. I will never find love.

Let go of what everyone else is doing and focus instead on yourself. Look within to see why you are triggered by something someone else does or says? You recognize that the reaction you had is YOURS! Hence when you are angered by something - you are not a victim, you are just experiencing an internal issue of your own surfacing. 

When someone cuts you off on the road, if you get angry it is not that they are doing something TO YOU, your internal issues of being powerless are coming up for you to see. You are not powerless. Obviously, that person was in a much bigger hurry and needed to get where they were going faster than you. That is all. Take care of you. Give to you, rather than everyone else first. Often people-pleasing women are the ones who keep attracting men who cheat, lie and leave. Give yourself acceptance and forgiveness.

The next time you look at a hot guy that you know in your heart will screw around on you, have compassion for you and love yourself some more. Look at where you have abandonment issues. Remember how Jennifer Anniston felt when Brad had an affair with Angelina Jolie. Awful! Sure he was cute. Yes, he was hot, but he broke her heart. Is this what you want for yourself?

Love is not supposed to hurt. Love does not ridicule, disrespect, abuse, abandon, or cause harm. 

Begin Loving You Right NOW!

1. Let go of trying to be perfect.
2. Ask yourself, "How do I lie and cheat myself?"
3. Stop worrying about what others think about you.
4. Stop trying to please others. You will end up resentful and angry.
5. Look at yourself with eyes of love.
6. Stop beating yourself up with thoughts and words.
7. Soften your focus. Think of yourself as a newborn baby. You would not beat up, or think negatively about a newborn baby, neither should you of yourself.
8. Know you are already ENOUGH!
9. You are WORTHY!
10. You are lovable!

If you continue to attract men that treat you badly, it is time for you to hire a coach that can help you clear your unconscious patterns and change your perspective. You don't have to change. Instead, begin to look at yourself with a softer gaze. 

Let go of the baseball bat and the magnifying glass that you view yourself through. Jennifer has healed her own self-loathing and low self-esteem. She has been where you are and has compassion and understanding for you. At the same time, Jennifer will be direct, clear and help you see things differently. If you are ready to have permanent and lasting happiness, positivity in all areas of your life and live your soul purpose, you have come to the right place.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of two books and is working on her third, Happy Here, Happy Anywhere The Step-by-Step Guide To Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without A Perscription!

Her latest is Orgasm For Life available on Amazon.com. Jennifer is a healed healer, having healed past childhood trauma and sexual abuse, sexual dysfunction, and depression. When she began to love herself, her pain, illness, diseases - Fibromyalgia, and Epstein-Barr syndrome magically disappeared. Your thoughts create illness and pain in your body. Healing self-loathing can heal the pain in your body as well as change your life. 

Schedule your FREE 30-minute session with Jennifer to work through an issue, or see how working with Jennifer will change your life for the better. Live your purpose with PASSION. Live a passion filled life. Have a book within you that is bursting to come out? Jennifer is holding a retreat this fall to teach aspiring authors to channel their own book. E-mail Jennifer NOW: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

Jennifer's website is: AphroditeEffect.com

I would love to hear your comments below. How attracting bad boys affected you and your life? Have you given up on men? If so why?

What is Relationship Karma? Does Everyone Experience It?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

The law of Karma is associated with the law of Cause and Effect. Karma lets us know that nothing is a secret, and our actions will return to us in some form. The purpose of karma is to teach, rather than punish as many would believe. How does it work? How does karma relate to Twin Flames, (Part II of Twin Flames) soul mates and relationships?

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. ~Wayne Dyer

What is karma?

The easiest way to describe karma is: What goes around comes around.

OR:

What you give you so shall you get in return.

Karma is a Sanskrit word that works with the Universal Law of Cause and Effect; everything that we say and do has energy that creates ripples out into our world that affects our lives.  I like to think of karma as events that come full circle. 

As she has planted, so does she harvest; such is the field of karma.  ~Sri Guru Granth Sahib

Relationship karma can be found with our family members, Soulmates and in relationships with many people, we interact with.  Not all relationships contain karma. Karmic relationships can be completed in this lifetime. Karma is cleared when we learn our lessons. 

When we have sex with someone, we take on their karma. 

What Happens When Karma Is Completed?

When we complete our karma with one person it can mean we never see or hear from them again. I experienced this type of completion with my last husband. He cheated, lied about who he was and his sexuality, which completed our karma from a previous incarnation. In a previous lifetime, I did something similar to him. 

Though our divorce was amicable, once our divorce was final there was nothing left. There was no need to call there was no energy, no triggers, just the love that was once there. I cried for months without contacting him. I never heard from him again. He did not learn from this lesson and repeated it again. There was so much pain for me, I learned my lesson, healed, forgave and moved on without repeating old behavior. 

Can You Stay Together After Karma is Cleared?

The answer is YES! However, you must have a joint Spiritual goal to help humanity in some big way. Together you must create a way to assist others evolve. You could create a healing center together. You could teach classes. Or like Angelina Jolie help children around the world. 

Karma Is About Getting It Right

Karma is to teach us about old patterns like drama or trauma in our relationships. We meet each other again and again till we get it right. Learning the lesson allows us to move on, like a graduation of sorts in our evolution. 

Rinse and Repeat or Choose Differently

We always have the right to choose whether we want to endure the suffering in a relationship to complete the karma or not. We might complete the karma in one relationship with someone in another. We may choose to avoid dealing with a Soul Mate type of relationship due to the deep healing and upheaval that can occur. 

Worthless people blame their karma. ~Burmese Proverb

Can You Create Karma Where There Was No Karma?

You can create karma by cheating, mistreating another person or causing harm in some way. All karma must be evened out - eventually. The question is will it happen sooner or later?

Why Some People Get Their Karma Faster 

Depending on how evolved someone is when they are born, they may find their karma is in their face as fast as they can say, GOTCHA!

My oldest son and daughter both have their karma at the speed of light. As soon as they cheat on someone - someone cheats on them. If they turn the wrong way on a one-way street or at a light that isn't the right color, they are immediately stopped by the police.

Others seem to be able to get away with murder. I assure you, this is only for the short-term.

Dating A Committed or Married Person

When we go after someone who is not ours to take, there is karma. We are the third person in a relationship meant for two. If we cheat on another, someone will cheat on us. It may not be in this lifetime, but it will happen. 

If you cheat on your partner, someone will cheat on you. If you abuse your partner, someone will abuse you. 

We never know when or how our karma will show up. It could be in this lifetime, or our next. No matter when it is, the one thing you can be sure of is that you will have to deal with your karma at some point.

Good Karma

If you are kind, generous loving and caring you are putting KARMA POINTS in the karma bank. Like a deposit karma points are positive. The more loving, generous and compassionate you are, the more happiness you receive and more will be given to you.

We are reincarnated with the same soul group so that we have the ability to clear and resolve our karma.

 Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny. ~Tyron Edwards

Karma Busting Mantra

This mantra will clear the subtle psychic vibrations of karma from your throat chakra. Thiru Neela Kantam (pronounced Tee-Ru Nee-La Kan-Tam). Every day chant this mantra silently or out loud for three minutes. You will change your life for the better. Please read the caution below.

BEWARE!

Be careful to do this gently. I know someone who did this mantra all day for three days straight and had his life fall apart, from relationships to business. Your intention is to improve your life for the better.

Join Jennifer beginning this Wednesday for From Tainted To True Love. This is a great opportunity to change your stars and attract the love you deserve, rather than the one you have had in the past. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE. 

Find Jennifer's books on Amazon.

Beginning on May 25th Don't miss 

From Tainted to True Love

The course to clear your past negative patterns so you can 

attract a healthy, balanced love

If you keep attracting men or women who aren't good for you

If you keep running the same patterns

If you feel you will never find love

If you doubt there is anyone out there for you

If you feel you aren't attractive enough

If you feel you aren't young enough

If you feel no one will ever love you

This program is for you!

6-weeks of live coaching and energy clearings of patterns

As promised, beginning Monday, May 23rd, I am offering an energy clearing session for eleven lucky people that move quickly for $75.00 off my regular price. $150.00 for a one-hour energy clearing. This offer will last as long as there is space available. First come, first served! Here is my PayPal link and I will get you scheduled. Either phone or Zoom, which is a video platform.

May 23rd until June 6th or until the eleven spaces are filled! Here is the payment link: PayPal

Nanny Temptation for Ben Aflleck and Gavin Rossdale?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are divorcing after 13 years of marriage. They have three sons together. Rumors have surfaced, that like Ben Affleck, Gavin Rossdale has cheated. 

I don't usually comment on the tabloids or hollywood divorce. With two famous couples recently filing for divorce, many are questioning if true love exists. Of course it does. If a commitment is made to be monogamous and one of the parties (men in both cases) are unfaithful, it can be a very difficult event to get over. In fact, the hurt and betrayal can be so great that the women can't imagine overcoming it. You can see the pain on Gwen's face in this photo taken yesterday. I feel for her and their children. 

Ben Affleck aparently had an affair with their 28-year-old nanny. The betrayal is as bad as Arnold Schwartzenegger with their

Ben Affleck picutured with Christine Ouzounian - nanny

housekeeper. Under their wives nose in their own bed.

When you love someone and they are unfaithful, the pain is intense. You feel rejection, abandonment, betrayal and grief all at the same time. For me it was the end of my marriage in each case. The truth is it can't be hidden. The truth will come out.

I knew every time I was cheated on. Our gut tells us. We may hear a rumour, but our gut never lies. I have to say, I had a nanny when my second son was born in England. I was careful to pick someone that was young, innocent with strong morals. The girl that we had was Australian, sweet as can be. After my son was born, I had a little concern because I was getting my post-partum body back in shape. It can be a tough time emotionally for women. Hormones are raging, their breasts are full, new baby and a nanny.

Marriage can be challenging. Add three children, and fame none of us really know what happened. We can only speculate. It isn't any of our business. It is sad to see a bright shiny couple happily married successfully for years. When their marriage ends, we can feel disappointment, thinking that this in some way reflects on the love that we desire. 

Cheating happens but not all men cheat. Not all women cheat either. Having opportunity many men will venture into the unknown territory because of the thrill while their brain shuts off. Scientifically speaking their conscience flies out the window. My aunt who was a very stiff Englishwoman and medical doctor had a phrase that spoke to men's desire to cheat, "A standing cock has no conscience." They may not feel regret until it is too late. 

Often men who were previously distant will begin showering you with gifts after an affair to asage their conscience. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach and author of Orgasm For Life. 

9 Reasons Men Cheat: Keeping Him Thrilled

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Biologically primal man was wired to "spray and pray." The spray and pray method to keep our species alive and thriving has been hard-wired (forgive the pun) into men's physiology for eons. Men can have sex once, and their work is done, a woman can be pregnant. He can then move onto the next conquest. Women carry a baby for nine months, our reproductive cycle is much slower. The primal man has been programmed to seek variety, mating with all types of women for the survival of the fittest. 

Some men never rise above the urgings of the primal man programming. Not all men cheat. According to Kinsey's report from 1950, 50% of men seek partners outside of their relationship. Those statistics have not changed significantly since that time. According to Kat Hertlein, Ph.D., professor of human development at the University of Nevada - Las Vegas 40% of men seek extra-marital affairs.

Men in positions of power, wealth and fame cheat because they love the thrill, or variety and the freedom. People like Ben Affleck, Tiger Woods, Arnold Schwarzenegger, had a lot to lose but cheated in spite of the risk.

9 Reasons Why Men Cheat

1. The thrill of it. Men cheat because what they have at home is a known quantity. Many men want excitement and a hunt. He already caught you, and now needs to hunt for something different. Their spouse is a known quantity. You may be perceived as dull, humdrum, even predictable. There is no thrill in predictability.

2. Variety. Men like variety. Many get bored looking at and making love to the same partner day after day. Most men want a variety in both partners and activity. It is part of their primal programming. Maybe you used to give them blowjobs often before marriage, and now a penis won't grace your lips except for birthdays! If men aren't getting the type of sex from you that they like, they may go outside for it instead. Men who have evolved beyond their primal programming or take their commitment seriously won't cheat.

3. They cheat because they can (get away with it.) Most men think their women will never have a clue. It is pretty easy to hide. Take a shower, or wash up afterward. Travel to cities away from home. I have to say, that cheating on a psychic or highly intuitive person is folly. Every time a man has cheated on me I have known it immediately. 

4. They rationalize that they have reasons to cheat. If their wife is bitchy, doesn't want sex or isn't into it, many men feel justified. If they aren't getting their needs met at home, they feel vindicated by having meaningless sex away from home.

5. Women at home aren't as attractive. Women often look very different after 20 years of marriage, children and life. Some women gain weight, lose interest in taking care of themselves and let themselves go. An attractive younger woman with a tight body can be the allure. Too often after years of living with the same man, we women can stop spending money on expensive lingerie, maybe we don't have the budget because we are paying for college. Whatever the reason, men like the sexiness of sleek new lingerie and a surprise every now and then.

6. Sex outside of marriage is easy. Affairs can be far simpler than dealing with a marriage partner. Without the emotional baggage, sex is often just sex, without any emotional involvement at all. Without kids to bathe, dogs to walk or dishes in the sink, affairs offer the freedom that marriage doesn't. 

7. An affair is adventurous. Over time relationships can be void of anything out of the ordinary. Many men desire the adventure that sex outside of marriage offers. 

8. Having sex with a stranger can be very exciting. If your sex life at home is anything but exciting, this could be just cause for a man to stray.

9. His father did it. DNA plays a significant role in whether a man is faithful or not. If his father was monogamous, it is likely he will be too. If his father stuck his wick in many ink bottles, he will too. Often what our parents modeled for us is what is replicated in our relationships.

What You Can Do To Keep Him Home

I talk about this frequently in my book, Orgasm For Life, as well as here on my blog: men need change. They like excitement and the thrill of the hunt. Here are some ways to create more excitement, delight and passion in your relationships to keep him wanting you more.

1. Change it up. You have a shower, kitchen, dining room table, couch, and a floor, use them all. Having sex in the same bed
   
   every time could become boring for the most orderly and OCD person.
2. Travel. Going away together can be enough to create excitement. A beach can be a great turn on as vitamin D is needed to produce hormones in our bodies. 
3. Schedule time. In business, there is a rule of thumb, "If it isn't on the calendar, it won't happen." Although scheduling sex takes the spontaneity out of the equation, sex therapist Janice Epp, Ph.D., dean of the Institute for Advanced Studies of Human Sexuality in San Francisco recommends scheduled "sex time."
4. Buy a wig. Men like to experience being with someone new. Wearing a wig or clothes you wouldn't normally wear could
   
   make him feel like he is having sex with someone new. 
5. Talk about sex. Talking about your desires can shift your perspective and open the door to being more vulnerable, risk taking and creative about your experiences together.
6. Talk about your fantasies. Everyone has fantasies about sex. If you don't get some! Fantasies can turn you both on, but you have to open up and share your thoughts.
7. Go out to dinner and tell him you aren't wearing underwear. Let him know you are hot for him, tell him how amazingly sexy he is and how incredible he makes you feel. Sex begins in the brain talking before sex can turn you both on so you will be scrambling up the stairs once you get home.
8. Role play. Dress up so that he doesn't see what you are wearing. Meet in a bar and pretend you don't know each other. Pretend to pick him up just to boink him. Oh come on, it's all good fun. 
9. Have sex in his car/truck. I remember driving out into a pasture with my husband and feeling in the mood. When I suggested
   
   sex in the back seat, he jumped at the chance. It was probably the best quickie we ever had.
10. Play a game like nude BINGO, or poker. Take an article of clothes off each time one of you loses. Have some fun!
11. Take a salsa class together and go out dancing. Dance can be a
    
    very sensual experience where you are close together but not able to have sex. When you are out in public, holding one another close, you can get turned on, feel the anticipation and excitement building that can make for an exciting love-making session once you do get home.You would be surprised how little you hold each other till you spend some time dancing. Early in our relationships, we lie naked together for hours, talking feeding each other and making love all day. Over time, a sexy afternoon may be the closest you get to the "goog old days!" 

Boredom in a relationship is deadly. We have to be learning, growing together and making love regularly.  Staying intimate takes effort, desire, and connection. Robots are not intimate. If your relationship is robotic change something. 

If you stop talking or stop having sex, you can regroup and recover with some effort. Love was once there. It still is, you just have to get out your feather duster, sandblaster and maybe a jackhammer to unlock the desire that needs to be fanned with your soft breath on his neck, or maybe his package to wake him out of his slumber. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach and author of Orgasm For Life. She works with those who want to feel fulfilled, excited and joyful in their lives, relationships, and work. Jennifer has an innate ability to hear and feel what is going on inside you guiding you into your Goddess self. 

Feel like something is missing? Jennifer will help you find your inner passion and love for yourself, your partner and life. Contact her for your 30-minute free discovery session to determine if her work is a good fit for where you long to be.

I Fucking Hate You!

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

If you have been betrayed, abandoned, lied to or cheated on, this is for you. Reading this will help you heal the past and let go of the blocked emotions that you have not allowed yourself to feel fully. At first, it might feel harsh. I assure you, this will help you dig deep, let go and even cry. You will move through the process of letting go of the sadness, repressed anger and stuck emotions if you read this several times. 

You may find the words are harsh in the beginning moving into forgiveness and acceptance. I will bring you back to a grounded place of love in the end. Letting go of rage, anger and sadness allows you room to heal, let go of the past and move forward. Until all these emotions are released you only THINK you are ready to move on. when you have not healed completely. Sometimes seeing  a photo of your ex on FaceBook triggers an emotional response you didn't expect. These emotions that hit you from out of no where are just showing you that you have more work to do. Be compassionate with yourself and your ex. It will help you to heal you.

I fucking hate that you made me fall in love with you.

I fucking hate that I opened my heart completely to you.

I fucking hate that I trusted you.

I fucking hate that I fell so completely in love with you.

I fucking hate that I let myself go and I fell in completely.

I fucking hate that you lied to me.

I fucking hate that you cheated on me.

I fucking hate that my beautiful heart lay broken and stomped on.

I fucking hate that I let myself fall apart.

I fucking hate that my life has not been the same since you left.

I fucking hate that I feel so broken and lost without you.

I fucking hate that I feel like I will never be the same. 

I know I won't.

I fucking hate that I've been in a mess for so long.

I fucking hate that I hated myself for all the things I said to you.

I fucking hate myself for all the things I didn't.

I fucking hate that I loved making love to you and I let myself go.

I fucking hate that I was totally and completely in love with you.

I fucking hate myself because I can't blame you entirely.

I hate myself because I know I played my part.

I hate myself because I didn't hold you the way I wanted to.

I hate myself because I didn't tell you how much I loved you.

I hate myself that I didn't let you know how completely I loved you.

I hate that I couldn't fix that broken part of you.

I hate that I couldn't love you enough for you to be happy.

I hate that I love and hate you at the same time. 

I hate that I never see your smiling face - ever.

I miss the smell of you next to me.

I miss the feel of your skin.

I miss your body.

I miss your soul.

I miss my life with you.

I wish we didn't hurt so bad.

I wish this pain would go away.

I want to live my life again.

I know this pain will go away.

When I can catch my breath, I will breathe you out.

I know I will be able to wake up tomorrow and go about my day.

I know I can drive my car without seeing you.

I know I can work all day without crying.

I know that I can go a whole week now without crying.

I know soon I will be able to go a whole month without crying.

I know that I will continue to miss parts of you.

But I won't miss the pain.

I won't miss the lies

I won't miss the cheating.

I wont' miss the fact that I wasn't enough for you.

I won't miss the fact that you aren't happy with you.

I won't miss the way that you treated me.

I know that a part of you feels broken.

But I am not broken because you don't want to be with just me.

I know that I deserve more.

I know that I will one day have more.

Right now I feel sad. But....

I am happy with me.

I know I will be okay.

I know that there will be another day and another love for me.

I am not ready yet.

I will take my time.

I will heal my heart.

I will spend the time on me. 

I will make sure next time that I watch for the signs.

I know that I don't have to settle.

I deserve to be loved, accepted and adored.

If someone doesn't accept me, I will move on.

There will be someone who will be there when I turn the corner.

When I shine love out of my heart again for me, they will be there.

Now I see the little broken person that was hurting, I didn't see it before.

You were hurting, trying to fill a void - that I couldn't.

I actually feel compassion for you.

I couldn't before.

I let out my anger.

It was a seething ocean of rage.

It was outrage at your cheating.

It was outrage at your disrespect of my heart.

The anger is gone now.

I don't fucking hate you anymore. But I did. 

I really did.

Now I can feel love for you again. 

A part of me will always love you.

I had  so much hate for you before.

I am so glad its gone now.

It hardened my heart to everyone.

I had no compassion for anyone or anything.

I didn't like myself like that.

I was hard.

I was closed.

I was in so much pain.

I shut myself down because of my pain.

I couldn't let anyone in.

I am letting you go.

I don't need you or the pain any more.

Thank you for showing me where I never want to go again.

Thank you for teaching me I deserve more.

Thank you for teaching me what I needed.

Thank you for showing me that I don't need to settle.

Thank you for showing me that I deserve kindness.

Thank you for showing me that I deserve respect.

Thank you for showing me that I deserve honesty.

Thank you for showing me that I deserve authenticity.

Thank you for showing me that I deserve someone with an open heart.

Thank you for showing me that my heart was not completely open.

Now it is.

I am no longer afraid.

I am no longer shut down.

I am open.

If this post moved you to tears, I am grateful. If this post allowed you to let go of some of your stuck emotions, I am grateful. This is a rare post for me. I don't usually use the F-bomb. However, when you are hurt, angry and even in rage - the only way to release it is to get deep down into it. This is for those of you (and myself too) to allow us to move that energy and get it out. Betrayal makes us feel angry. Most of us only feel hurt because anger isn't safe to express. 

Most of us have been taught that it is not okay to express anger. The only emotions that are okay to express are happiness or joy. Sometimes our heart hurts and we are filled with rage.

Anger and sadness need to be expressed. If this writing helped you to let out your anger, then I am grateful. If this post offended you, don't read it again. This writing was guided and I trust my guidance. People in pain need to let it out. Emotions need to move not be stuffed. Emotions stuffed cause pain and suffering. If you have arthritis, pain in your joints, neck or back, you have blocked emotions. You don't have to be in physical pain.

Meditation does not release the energy of emotions. Emoting releases emotions. Without releasing emotions you are barely breathing. Most people breathe shallowly, rather than deeply. When you breathe deeply you are affirming life. I choose to affirm life and move emotions. This way I live pain free. You can too.

Blocked anger can cause depression, heart attacks and strokes. Often people that don't express their anger in small amounts rage and can hurt others when they do. Blocked resentment causes cancer.

Blocked and unexpressed sadness causes depression. No wonder so many people are on anti-depressants. I used to be depressed and had Fibromyalgia. I don't have any pain at all and I am getting on up there in age.

I am now offering VIP sessions for courageous committed clients. These VIP sessions are powerful Shamanic sessions with movement, breathing and release work. We do this in a sacred and protected area in the Mojave desert. If you would rather bring a friend and do the work together, that works too. For those who want a completely private session I support you totally and completely through the process. 

If you would rather process in group, that can be arranged as well. We release stuck emotions and pain through a Shamanic process. This is sacred work. You will feel lighter, freer and positive at the end of the process. I can't guarantee you won't vomit, or cry. But you will feel better. This is courageous work. I will be there every moment to support you through the process with healing breath work. This is powerful and life changing. If you are ready to be free of your pain and suffering, e-mail me and we will set up a 30 minute phone or Skype session to talk about what you want to accomplish. Either a VIP day (5 hours) in the desert or a coaching program. E-mail Jennifer NOW!

Jennifer is a healed healer. She has healed breast cancer, Fibromyalgia, Epstein Barr syndrome, codependency, addictions, chronic depression, fear, arthritis, and slowed down the aging process as a result. She uses hypnotherapy, NLP, Spiritual

Response Therapy and her Spirit guides and The Ascended Masters. She is an Intuitive, catalystic healer and amazingly courageous woman. She is the author of Orgasm For Life the book to bridge the growing chasm between men and women. This book will ignite the fires of passion, give you new skills and ideas to get back the passion lost in long-term marriages. When sex goes out the window, emotions run high. Jennifer works with those committed to heal and live a happier, better life with deeper connected, intimate relationships. Her website is: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com