By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
I know from my past experience that I wasn't authentic for most of my life. I acted like I thought others wanted me to be. I faked it. I faked orgasms; I faked happiness, I faked being. When I finally let go of caring what others thought of me is when I recognized I liked myself and it didn't matter what anyone else thought. My self-esteem came from me, not from the validation I had previously desired from my mother or others.
Healing our past allows us to become completely naked in front of another. The naked I am talking about is the ability to be completely vulnerable and seen by our partner, naked with our clothes. Most people wear a mask and don't allow someone new to see the real person under the subterfuge. Our fear of not being accepted for who we are keeps us acting the way we think our date wants us to be.
When we aren't authentic at the beginning of a relationship, our relationship is doomed to failure because eventually, we have to let our guard down and be real. When we finally show up, our partner will wonder who the heck they fell in love with? Authenticity is the key to feeling and receiving love. Until we can be real with another, we are faking life and not going to receive real love.
The softer and more authentic we can be, the better. Our relationships build trust when we are authentic. The fear of not being liked or loved is from the past. When we love ourselves, the experience of receiving love from another isn't so scary.
Letting go of the false pretenses and faked orgasms allow us to sink in to be grounded in our true self. If someone doesn't like who we are - NEXT! There will be someone who does. Don't waste your precious energy trying to be someone you aren't to be loved. If you have to turn yourself into a pretzel to find love, it isn't real. The more you that you can be, the more real your relationship will be also. All relationships have some conflict.
We aren't going to always agree with one another. Thinking that love means a relationship without conflict is a fairy tale. Knowing how to communicate lovingly when those challenges arise is one of the facets of my work. I help couples navigate the sticky situations and complexities of relationships. Being fearless certainly helps, and that is certainly something I help my clients be.
Looking For LOVE?
Happy Here, Happy Anywhere
Visit Aphrodite Effect.com Jennifer's website
For so many people today, heartache and pain are what they think of when they think of love. Why is that? Why do relationships cause us such issues? We want to be loved, or do we? Sometimes I wonder because I see people pushing love away. Our fear of being hurt causes us to push the very thing we desire away. I have done it too.
When we have traumatic experiences in our past, and everybody does, we hold the energy of the past in our cellular body. The emotions from the breakups, nasty divorces, and horrible dates in our tissues. Until we can let go completely and forgive those who we perceive have hurt us we really can't experience love because we have a wall built which keep us from allowing a new person close to us.
We can't be vulnerable and risk everything when we experience fear. Fear blocks us from letting go, and able to receive love.
I know from my past experience that I wasn't authentic for most of my life. I acted like I thought others wanted me to be. I faked it. I faked orgasms; I faked happiness, I faked being. When I finally let go of caring what others thought of me is when I recognized I liked myself and it didn't matter what anyone else thought. My self-esteem came from me, not from the validation I had previously desired from my mother or others. 
Healing our past allows us to become completely naked in front of another. The naked I am talking about is the ability to be completely vulnerable and seen by our partner, naked with our clothes. Most people wear a mask and don't allow someone new to see the real person under the subterfuge. Our fear of not being accepted for who we are keeps us acting the way we think our date wants us to be.When we aren't authentic at the beginning of a relationship, our relationship is doomed to failure because eventually, we have to let our guard down and be real. When we finally show up, our partner will wonder who the heck they fell in love with? Authenticity is the key to feeling and receiving love. Until we can be real with another, we are faking life and not going to receive real love.
Softening And Becoming Real
The softer and more authentic we can be, the better. Our relationships build trust when we are authentic. The fear of not being liked or loved is from the past. When we love ourselves, the experience of receiving love from another isn't so scary. Letting go of the false pretenses and faked orgasms allow us to sink in to be grounded in our true self. If someone doesn't like who we are - NEXT! There will be someone who does. Don't waste your precious energy trying to be someone you aren't to be loved. If you have to turn yourself into a pretzel to find love, it isn't real. The more you that you can be, the more real your relationship will be also. All relationships have some conflict.
We aren't going to always agree with one another. Thinking that love means a relationship without conflict is a fairy tale. Knowing how to communicate lovingly when those challenges arise is one of the facets of my work. I help couples navigate the sticky situations and complexities of relationships. Being fearless certainly helps, and that is certainly something I help my clients be.
Dumbing It Down
When we act less intelligent, or less sexual than we are, we are attempting to dumb down the truth of ourselves. We are faking it. I faked it with one of my husbands. He was insecure about himself and his sexuality. He wasn't ready for a woman who was passionate, and powerful. I had to hold back and act like a Puritan. He was a macho man who had to be in charge. We didn't click at all. Our marriage was volatile because of the constant power struggle.
Afraid To Be Alone?
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| Many fish in the sea! |
There are other options than to attempt to be someone you are not just to try and make this relationship work. When we let go of one relationship and allow ourselves to be seen, it won't be long before a new love comes along that takes you to a higher place where you can connect to the depth of your soul. There are lots of fish in the sea. Find the right fish for you. Don't settle for less. You deserve love. You deserve to be loved for who you are, as you are. Of course, the flip side of the coin is that we have to accept our partner as they are as well.
Foreigner: I Want To Know What Love IsLooking For LOVE?
Beginning October 12th - November 16th, Join me for From Tainted To True love to manifest the love you desire.
This course is for you if:
- You have a habit of repeating the same relationship over and over that doesn't support you
- You can't seem to attract love to you in any form
- Want to become more vulnerable, authentic and connected in your relationship
- Looking for greater intimacy and better sex
- You are interested in bringing more passion into your current relationship
This course was originally a four-week course. I have extended it to include valuable tips on sexual intimacy and passion. It is now six weeks. It will transform the way you think about the opposite sex, love, and relationships! $247 for six weeks of transformational coaching and energy sessions with Jennifer in a group format. Plus you also receive the Aphrodite Effect 3-hour audio course for early sign-up! A $99.00 VALUE!
Set up your private session with me to find your joy and happiness within. I help men and women find lasting happiness.
Jennifer's forthcoming book:
Happy Here, Happy Anywhere
The Step-By-Step Guide For Overcoming Depression, Anxiety and Unhappiness Without A Prescription!
Visit Aphrodite Effect.com Jennifer's website
