Sunday, May 18, 2014
Why We Stay Too Long In Unhealthy Relationships
By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
If you have found yourself in a relationship that is less than stellar, you are not alone. Millions of people have stayed in relationships that were just plain bad. I did it. My third marriage was clearly not good for me, yet I stayed. Even after we divorced, I kept trying to reconcile with him, but why?
I know it sounds like a broken record, but it is true:when we don't love ourselves we stay because we would rather have a terrible relationship than NO RELATIONSHIP. We would rather have rotten sex, with someone who never has money, because we don't want to be alone. We stay because we are afraid that we can't get someone else. Or that our chances of finding someone are nil.
I coach clients that have had multiple relationships with less than stellar mates, repeatedly. If you find yourself settling for crumbs over and over and staying with someone who isn't kind, loving, respectful and has money - you don't love and respect yourself. Your boundaries are lacking AND most likely, you are coming from an empty place. Which means you will give and give and give, then resent them for it!
I know this pattern intimately, because it used to be me. I was a serial monogamist, going from one bad relationship to another. I would work all day at my landscaping company doing hard work, drive home, rush around to get myself looking pretty, then make dinner. As if I hadn't already done enough for one day, I would then drive 45 miles to my boyfriend's house and feed him dinner, dragging my school age daughter with me, so that he would have a home-cooked meal. What was I thinking???? This is only one possible scenario.
Perhaps you have allowed your boyfriend to move in with you. He might even have had some furniture to contribute, but probably not. You may loan him money, or bail him out. Are you wondering why you are living like this? Do you think your love will change them?
Men too accept treatment from women that is abusive, disrespectful and downright bad manners. Men will accept a woman using his money, car, home and furniture to have regular sex. You might have allowed your girlfriend to move in, leave her animals with you, or worse. Maybe she has stopped having sex with you, because she is having sex with someone else. The only way you can change this situation is to change yourself.
When we accept behavior that does not support us, from people who do not respect us, we are accepting poor treatment, in the hopes that he or she will eventually change and turn into what we really want. I am sorry - Miss Priss, or Mr. Wrong is not going to change. Your perspective has to.
When we love ourselves completely we won't accept crumbs any longer. We know we deserve better and we will wait for that right person to show up, rather than accepting a poor substitute so that we feel secure.
When you show up full, confident, powerful and empowered, you will not accept disrespect. You won't accept someone mistreating you. This is not the case for me any longer. I will not stay, or even date someone if I sense that they are jealous, abusive or disrespectful to women. I would rather be by myself. I enjoy my own company. I like my solitude. I am happy being alone because I am happy with me. Before I had done years of introspection and self healing, I had to have a man in my life, or I felt restless, afraid to be alone. I also felt empty and lonely. Now I don't experience loneliness.
If you are tired of repeating this pattern and want to make a difference in your family's lives and yours, you need to take my 6 week Love Yourself Fearlessly GROUP coaching program launching on May 31st. For Only $397 you can solve this problem permanently. Follow the protocol, do the homework and apply the tools, you will never again accept crumby relationships! Many people have taken my 6 week self study Love Yourself Fearlessly program. This is the same course with similar material - but this one has 90 minutes of group coaching each week on the call and some bonus features added. Here is what you can expect:
You get to know yourself in a way you never have before.
You become empowered, feel more confident and grounded.
You live in the present
The mind chatter quiets
You become more calm, peaceful and focused.
You step into your Divine Power - Your Goddess or God self
You will fall in love with YOU!
You will fall in love with your family (heal the past) energy
Create a List - of 100 What you Want and Don't Want in Your Mate
Fall in Love with your gifts
Fall in Love with your soul
The Manifesting Your Soul Mate piece is incredible. If you are already in a relationship - that does not mean you are going to look for someone else. No. What this will create for you is an understanding of what you want and don't want, so you can manifest what you desire. Most people really don't know what they want or have never thought about it. We dig down and really get to know on a soul level what you are passionate about.
This part is amazing. I have had many people find their Soul Mate, or Divine partner while doing my course! Some people fine theirs shortly afterward. Because you focus on what you truly want, with clear intent - you manifest it. I give you all the tools to send out your request with and all the tools!
The key is that you have to love yourself FIRST - before you manifest your Soul Mate. The higher your vibration, the higher the vibration of your partner will be. As within, so without.
You will feel full, happy with you. Most people see huge results by the third week. I have created this Love Yourself Fearlessly Program from the work I did to heal myself. I share the tools that I used, teach you to do them yourself, so you can continue to apply this work AFTER the course is over.
Take advantage of this opportunity. The next time I run this course will be after my book is a BIG HIT and the course will be double what I am charging. This price is an amazing value. You will learn to heal yourself on your own and heal all your relationships at the same time.
Jennifer is an awakened Spiritual teacher, author, life coach, Spiritual mentor and intuitive. She has helped thousands of people find their way, get clear and focused in their life. She is more than a coach. She is a guide, pathfinder and mentor. Her guidance is Divine - rather than ego-based.
Visit Jennifer's website: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com