Lately, I have been pushing very hard to get the final editing done on Orgasm For Life. My body was telling me I needed some self care, so I headed to the gym to swim. You are probably wondering why I didn't just have sex. Yes, sex is a great stress reliever, with the right person, at the right time. Timing, dear friends is everything!
While swimming, I met a delightful couple and observed their interaction. For my book, I talked with hundreds of happily married people. This couple was older, yet they were in the pool exercising, together. I noticed them close together, rather than in different lanes. They seemed happy, smiling at each other as well as my daughter and I as we jumped into our lanes. When people are happy, you can't disguise it, it is genuine. What they told me might surprise you.
I am all about LOVE! I have talked to hundreds of long-term HAPPILY married people and their recipe for happiness in marriage is simple, yet profound. I asked this couple how long they had been married? They smiled and looked at each other because it was so long that they weren't exactly sure. Thinking for a moment she said, "Well we were married in '54."
- Don't argue. But if you must, ask yourself the following question, "will this matter in 5 years?" If not, go make love. It is a lot more fun than fighting!
- Respect. Respect your husband or wife as much as you would a perfect stranger. She said, "If the president came into your home dripping wet, you would offer him a towel, rather than yell at them to say, Don't drip on the floor, you idiot!" We have a tendency to become disrespectful over time. Don't allow yourself to begin to disrespect your mate because of familiarity. Always respect your mate/spouse and vise versa.
- Appreciate your spouse. They do a lot for you and your family. Giving and showing appreciation means you have not taken them for granted. Appreciation shows gratitude and love.
- Continue being connected through love-making, touch, kind words, and tone. Do not use words or tone that would insight a riotous response.
- Overlook a lot. Don't focus on the bad habits, or things you don't like. Focusing on the things that bother you just makes them bigger. Let the little things go. If it isn't earth-shattering, world-changing or life threatening, it is probably not important enough to argue, get upset about or divorce over. Divorce is considered a four-letter word to people who truly love each other and are committed.
When she asked about the subject of Odyssey Victim to Victory, my first book, she understood that I wrote it to help others. She told me that was not her experience. She brought up Joyce Meyers and her past. She said that things are very different today.
When she and her husband married, they did so to create a home for their family. Today, she said, "People have a career first. They get pregnant and maybe get married. Then they send their babies to day care to be raised by someone with no emotional ties to their children at all." "Eventually," she went on to say, "we will get back to what is best for everyone, to focus on what is really important, family." I could not agree more.
She told me that she never had had an unhappy "intercourse" in all her life. It was obvious that they remained sexual after all these years. She said that her husband knew she was "The ONE" as soon as they met. They dated for a year, marrying in July, the same month as they met AND her birthday.