You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. Barbara de Angelis
It is a great accomplishment today to stay with your spouse or partner because you are happy together. Many married couples stay together often for financial reasons, barely speaking and rarely connecting intimately. Couples that are happy together focus on each other's positive traits rather than their flaws and faults.
We began working together to heal her body. The core of all healing comes from within. Breast cancer comes from several things. There is an underlying refusal to nourish the self, holding onto old hurts, over mothering, overprotection carrying hatreds and deep-seated resentment. For every illness and disease, there is a thought and emotion that came before it that created the issue.
As Cynthia saw the benefits of working with me, Peter became a client as well. Working with each of them separately began to heal their personal issues. Cynthia's relationship with her husband began to soften; walls came down. Peter let go of past pain from his childhood and raised his awareness. Each individual working on their internal issues made incredible differences in the way they engaged each other. Their conversations stopped being adversarial and negative. Their love for one another strengthened and grew.
Gradually their relationship improved and so did their sex lives. Instead of being triggered by one another, they took responsibility for their own feelings, recognizing that it came from a place long ago. Instead of wanting time apart they began planning weekends away together.
than trying to change him. Cynthia allowed him to have his experiences in life rather than trying to control or make him perfect.
What Can You Do To Fuel Your Love?
- Stop blaming. When we blame someone else for our unhappiness we are not taking responsibility for ourselves. Blame is easy. Taking responsibility takes some maturity and personal growth. Recognize you are not a victim. If you have had past trauma, let's get it healed. It won't go away on it's ow. Believe me I know. It is what I spent 30 years doing.
- Look within. If you are getting upset with your partner you are being triggered by a past event. Usually what you are angry about has nothing to do with the other person. Ask yourself, when have I felt like this before? Did it have something to do with your mother, father or someone else?
- Get some help. Marital issues can rarely be fixed from within the marriage. In other words, it takes a fresh pair of eyes to see what is really going on.
- Be kind. Be kind to yourself and your spouse. Focus on the positive, rather than highlighting the negative. You fell in love with them for a reason. What was it?
- Spend quality time together. Getting connected requires quiet, intimacy and turning off media, television and locking your bedroom door. Avoiding one another does no good and increases the chasm between you.
- Love yourself first. If you don't love you, it will be very difficult to receive love from another. Notice do you push hugs away. Do you resent your partners advances? Why not begin to allow love in and fan those flames with kindness, appreciation and generosity rather than anger, acid or resentment. Love is always present we just have to be open enough to see and feel it.
attract similar relationships that don't fulfill you because you don't love and accept yourself. Are you ready to commit to yourself? Are you with me? Do you want to be happy with you and your life? If so, send me an e-mail and let's have a conversation about partnering together to have the happiness you so deserve.