Wednesday, May 28, 2014
When We Push Love Away
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Often those who reject love are stuck in a paradigm of damage and scarcity. They don't feel love, although in their mind - everything is FINE! What is happening is that the grooves in the brain from past experience are so deep that the rejection of love and affection is reactive. No thought takes place. The brain is reacting from a past experience that is no longer present.
The more profound the trauma, the deeper the patterning is ground into the brain. When a parent has done the traumatizing - the effects are more profound than when the perpetrator or victimizer was an uncle, priest or neighbor. Parental abuse is the worst for children to experience. Parents are the ones we trust with our lives, as children. Yet, not all parents are equipped with the emotional availability or the inner strength to stand up to be a role model, in the face of their own emotional chaos and suffering.
Often our parents were alcoholics, or addicts. They may have been incarcerated, or traumatized in combat. All of these stresses can cause the soul to fragment, shatter and splinter. When this occurs, the inner child is frozen in time. Whenever a trigger is activated in present time - the adult returns to the moment of initial traumatizing and reacts as if a child. If the trauma occurred when the child was age 5, for example, the adult acts like a 5 year-old. The deeper the trauma, the harder it is to let go of this reactionary programming. When two people are in relationship together and are both wounded, then conflict or arguments arise, it can feel as if they are impossible to resolve, without therapy. When both have their inner child show up, one or both may decide to take their proverbial ball and go home - or choose to leave the relationship. Each time a conflict arises, when one or both of the parties have been seriously traumatized, the only way that can feel right to a little child is to leave. When adults react this way, resolution is a challenge. Remember that the person you are in conflict with is not showing up, their inner child is. It is impossible to reason with a 5 year old, even if they are in a 40-year-old body.
How Can You Reset These Programs?
There are several different ways to heal from past trauma. Hypnotherapy, energy healing or Neurolinguistic Programming are all ways that a program that has been with a person for a lifetime can be cleared and removed. All of these modalities are used in my private coaching programs. Sometimes, a client needs to be desensitized gradually, if the program is very deep. It could take all three modalities, and a neurolinguistic programming anchor to achieve the feeling of having the issue resolved. The longer that the person continues to react in the same way, the deeper the groove becomes in the unconscious mind.
There is help available. When the pain and suffering becomes too great, healing can begin.
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, life and sex coach, hypnotherapist, master energy healer and neurolinguistic programming practitioner. She utilizes all of these modalities in her work with her clients. As an intuitive coach, Jennifer has the innate ability to cut to the root of her client's issues quickly. The key to Jennifer's work is self love. A foundation of self love is what allows us to accept ourselves and others unconditionally.
Jennifer's website is: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com