Interested in hearing who Jennifer is on the air? Join her this Friday at 1:00 PM EST and 10:00 AM PST as Hollis Chapman, author of the book Pursue Your Passion interviews Jennifer about her forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life.
This is Jennifer's second time on Hollis' show. Our last time was synergistic, laugh filled and very entertaining. Find out what makes Jennifer tick, and more about her book.
Loving intensely and passionately, giving your all can be breath-taking. When we give our all in a relationship without holding anything in reserve, and the relationship ends, our heart can feel like someone ran over it with a garbage truck. This love can be the hardest love to overcome.
- Forgive yourself for the break-up. Then forgive your past partner. I recommend the Ho'oponopono Prayer. A Kahuna healing that is simple, deep and profound. Forgiving yourself first for your choices, what you did and didn't do is imperative to move forward.
- Let go of feeling you made a mistake. Every relationship teaches us something profound about ourselves. Even though we may experience pain, there is always a gift - to takeaway. Take responsibility for your choices, rather than blaming your partner. You are not a victim. It was a lesson learned. You learned it well. There are no mistakes only lessons.
- Allow yourself to feel your emotions rather than shut them off or hold them inside. Cry if you want to, get angry and vent - without hurting another person. Go to a batting cage, or punch a heavy bag. (I took a self defense course after my second divorce. I wailed on a heavy bag so hard that I was covered with bruises. It allowed me to physically emote and vent my anger. Allowing yourself to release the emotions is healthy.
- Stop being angry with your ex. At some point you have to let go. If you don't, you are stuck in a paradigm that needs to shift. An energy clearing, hypnotherapy or coaching can help with this. It is NEVER one person's fault. Let it go. Refer to # 1, 2 and 3. REPEAT as needed, till you have let go.
- Take the time you need to heal and be with yourself. Get to know who you are. Take my Love Yourself Fearlessly course. Find out what you really want in a partner. Write a list. Check it twice. Look at your past patterns. What needs to change within you? What work do you need to do so you don't repeat the same patterns again in another relationship.
- Recognize when enough time has passed and The Universe is sending you good people. When a person appears in front of you, have the courage to step up and out of your own shit to recognize the good in him or her. We often get so bogged down in making the other sex wrong that we damn everyone. We turn away good partners. We avoid contact. We don't take phone calls because we are afraid. See the good in the person in front of you, rather than making them all WRONG!
- Let go of your fear. If you have been badly hurt, betrayed, abandoned or abused, it may take years to get to the point where you finally feel you might consider dating again. Getting to this place means you have to let go of the fear. Fear will cause you to avoid situations. Fear will create stories in your mind that aren't true. (Hire a coach to help you resolve this and move beyond your fear).
- Be authentic. Be yourself. Love who you are. Yes, we might be older, more wrinkled, heavier, thinner, or more experienced than we were the last time. Embrace who you are. Rejoice in your truth. Be honest, open and don't talk endlessly about your ex with your friends or your new dates.
- See the good. No one is perfect. There is no such thing as a fairy tale. Everyone has faults, even you. Allowing your partner to be imperfect and loving them anyway is what unconditional love is. Don't try to change your partner. You want to be loved and accepted for who you are. You need to do the same with your new partner. Allow them to be who they are - even if they like country and western music, or love to sing in the shower. Whatever it is that drives you crazy, let them be themselves.
This prayer has been used to heal the most difficult of hurts - molestation and physical hurts by the Kahuna healers of Hawaii for hundreds of years. Focus on yourself first. How have you created pain or kept yourself in a situation that was not healthy for you longer than you needed to? Forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be hurt. Pray the following prayer slowly, for at least 15 minutes or until you have a feeling of being complete. Once you have completed the prayer for yourself, begin to forgive your partner.