Turn That No Into A "Hell Yes!"

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

There are many ways to let your partner know you are "in the mood." Sometimes it could be a cute, "Do you wanna fool around?" Over time, the way we ask when we are certain our partner will disavow all knowledge, like in Mission Impossible, we may become like an automaton, rather than getting cute, creative and playful.

When someone demands sex or anything from us for that matter, the chances are we won't want to comply. I know I have a tendency to dig my heels and fingernails into whatever I can grip when I feel I am being coerced. No one wants to be told what to do, especially in a romantic relationship. Guys if you have bought her dinner and expect sex in return, think again! Not every date is sex worthy.

Dating Is A Different Kettle of Fish

Once I had a guy who thought we would have sex on the first day, kindly plug his handy dandy screwdriver into my right passenger tire. When I went out the next morning I could still feel his anger because I wouldn't have sex with him on the first day. He thought his purchase of a meal made sex a given. I don't recommend sex on the first day, getting to know someone and finding out if you have a connection or commonality is preferable. If sex happens on a first date, the likelihood of a lasting relationship is slim to none. 

If seduction and romance have gone by the wayside, perhaps it is time to dust off the chivalry and bring home chocolates or roses. What the heck, bring both! Romance, appreciation and being told that we look and smell amazing can turn a negative situation into a positive one. Following are some creative and fun ways to change the direction of your mounting frustration and have some great sex in the process.

1. Ask your partner if they would like a massage? It is a pretty cold person that can experience a sexy massage without wanting to hold your hard body against theirs. Remember when you are massaging to tease around the genitals, no poking or prodding as that is not fair. Teasing is always a good idea.
2. Kiss! People often forget to kiss. It is almost as if kissing is a bad idea. Why is that? There is nothing like some lip nibbling teasing tongue to turn both of you on. The lips are connected to the genitals, as are the nipples and other erogenous zones. Lips are constructed of the same incredibly excitable tissue that our genitals are. Get creative. Rub noses first. Take your time
   
   before going in for a lip-lock. Breathe your partner in, slowly move towards their lips making eye contact. Use soft lips and gently pull one of her lips into your mouth. Take your time. No rushing allowed. Kissing can turn both of you on to the point that some women can come just by kissing alone. Lucky girl!
3. Take A Shower Together!  I am famous for my body buff in the shower. Use your body to buff your partner's, while all covered with shower gel or soap. Slide your body all around their back, front, legs.
   
   Enjoy the feeling of skin-to-skin contact. Shower play can be incredibly sensual. Best for people who don't care about their hair getting wet.
4. Hold hands when out together. Holding hands releases oxytocin! Holding hands can give your partner a sense of connection and even security. Women need to feel trust and secure outside the bedroom to feel they can open up in the bedroom. 
5. Hug each other during the day! We all need to be hugged. When we are too busy to touch during the day - we can feel disconnected. Touch outside the bedroom is as important as
   touch inside the bedroom. If you don't touch during the day, getting close at night could be a real nightmare. Hug each other before you leave for work. If you both work at home, you can still hug each other from time to time.  When we are sensory deprived, we have a tendency to say no, rather than yes. We have to break through a stony barrier to get to the yes. We each need 12 hugs a day. How deprived are you?
6. Help her / him out. What can you do to make their day less stressful? No matter who is saying no, there are a multitude of reasons why. How can you unburden your partner so that they
   
   can feel free to say, "Yes, I would love to?"
7. Hold your partner close without expecting sex. When we take the pressure away from performance, we are giving our presence without expecting anything in return. There is nothing like being given a full body hug without the expectation of sex, to leave a woman going, "Wow!" Do this a few times and see if she/he doesn't come to you for more than a full body hug.
8. Sext your partner. A sext doesn't have to be a full Monty photo of you. It could be a sexy text, just telling her how beautiful she is and how you can't wait to come home to her tonight. Send her another one later in the day telling her how much you love kissing her, or how great she smells. Complements turn on the brain. Guys and gals, sex begins in the brain, not the genitals! Get creative and think outside the box (literally and figuratively)!

Turn your love life into Mission Incredible, instead of Mission Impossible!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of Orgasm For Life. She is a love and passion coach helping women overcome their love story. Once past patterns and blocked emotions have been cleared, women are able to radiate their true beauty out into the world magnetizing love and all things wonderful to them. Healing your love story will shift the way you feel about yourself, your past and certainly the unlimited potential you possess to find true happiness.

For your DISCOVERY SESSION, E-mail Jennifer here.

Are Quickies Killing Your Sex Life?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

"The average love-making session lasts 10 minutes. Statistically speaking, most are disappointed that sex ends so soon."

Most Women Need 20 - 45 minutes of foreplay to reach orgasm. It is not any one's fault. Men and women have very different needs. Understanding how to get a woman stimulated enough so that she doesn't have to fake it like 80% of women do is key. (Sorry guys this is true). I will help you be a King in your bedroom and master of your domain!

Quickies Are Fun

The average love-making session lasts 10 minutes. Statistically speaking, most are disappointed that sex ends so soon. 

Most men orgasm between 2 - 10 minutes into the sex act. When you see compare the statistics for the average women to achieve an orgasm, 10 minutes does not get her even half way there. 

Although we have all enjoyed the passion of the moment of a quickie, most women are just getting warmed up when you are already snoring on your pillow. Women need 20 - 45 minutes of massage, kissing, touching and pleasure before you enter the sacred place, unless you are the only one actually reaching an orgasm.

Make It About Her

Most men get excited just by seeing their naked woman. Women's body's and minds work differently. Women have been rushing around all day with kids, schoolwork, cooking, cleaning and work. Give her time to relax, take a shower or bath and get into the mood. A candle light bath might be just the ticket to help her transition. Run the bath and light the candles so that she feels you care. Women are the nurturers and need nurturing too. Take care of her for a change. Make an effort. Give to her without thinking of yourself. She will feel the difference.

Sex Is 80% Mental For Women

Women have to be mentally in the mood for sex. We can't get there if you have told us how lousy our dinner was or how dirty the house is. We need acceptance, romance and kindness to be sexually aroused. If you have just had an argument and want sex, unless you have given a genuine apology and made up completely, forget it!

Orgasm is 80% mental, 20% physical. If she is thinking about the dishes in the sink, the kids waking up, or all that she didn't accomplish today, getting her in the mood for sex will be difficult, All these thoughts will block her from settling into the pleasure of the moment. Spend some time helping her get out of her head and into her body with these 10 steps.

How To Get Her There

1. 10 minutes of kissing
2. 10 minutes of massage
3. 10 minutes of touch - alternate between feather light and nibbling and body kissing.
4. 10 minutes of oral sex
5. 10 minutes of manual digital stimulation - she should have several orgasms before you get to step 6
6. Then you may enter slowly at first, building up speed, changing it up between gentle and stronger thrusts.
7. Drive her crazy by alternating thrusting with oral sex. Do this several times and you will probably be able to give her a vaginal and clitoral orgasm at the same time.
8. Slow down if you feel the pressure building. Stop and finger her some more.
9. Make it about her, instead of you. The more you give, the more you will get in return.
10. Try to make your movements fluid, rather than mechanical. She will sense it if you are being too much in your head.

If you have an orgasm and she didn't, manually stimulate her to orgasm before you fall asleep. She will thank you and be much more ready to have sex with you the next time you desire her. Make sure she didn't fake it to make you feel better.

G-Spot

Yes it does exist. All women have a G-spot. Women can have orgasms and ejaculate, like men do. It is located approximately 1.5 to 2 inches away from the clitoris, on the upper wall of the vagina. You can find it by using your index finger in a come hither motion. It may be tender at first (read article on G-spot tenderness).

If your woman was sexually molested, this area can be very tender and painful to the touch, as the emotional trauma has been frozen in her body. Look for my article on G-spot healing and Massage.

Jennifer is a love and passion coach and author of Orgasm for Life. This book IS the interface between men and women for communication in relationships and the bedroom. This book is a self-help for women and men wanting more information about improving their sex lives, relationships and love. The better communication is outside of the bedroom, the better the sex is in the bedroom. 

Need Jennifer's coaching expertise? Contact her: NOW!