The Clitoris DeMystified

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Nature's replica of the female form

Ah the female form. It is lovely, beautiful, fragrant and absolutely Divine. Our body parts are delicate, tender and as different from one lovely woman to the next. Each woman is different. No two are alike. No two women like exactly the same type of stimulation. The clitoris is the female penis, only better! No! Really? How could it possibly be better, you ask? You are in for a pleasant surprise, but please don't get jealous. It has twice the number of nerve endings that the male penis has.

Exquisite Pleasure

The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings. The penis has 4,000. These amazing nerve endings in the clitoris affect 15,000 other nerves exciting and spreading through the pelvis, connecting the kundalini to the brain. 

Most people are unaware that the clitoris is far more sensitive than a man's penis. It is protected by a hood of skin that almost conceals it from view. It does not giggle when we walk, nor does it's form deny our arousal when clothed. The female form is as secretive, inward and almost covert as women can be. 

Where Is The Clitoris?

The clitoris is located above the opening to the vagina, on the outside of the body. Moving from the navel towards the vagina it is the first moving part that can be caressed, played with and excited to bring a woman to orgasm with a well-practised tongue, finger or

vibrator. If you look at the orchid above, it depicts the positioning of this delicate and lovely body part. It is located between the two large petals of the flower, but slightly above and outside the most delicate inner flower. For more pictures and descriptions of the clitoris

Sitting slightly above and outside the vagina, the clitoris can be seen as tiny. Yet, only one quarter of the clitoris is visible. The root of the clitoris is found in the incredibly sensitive G-spot located beneath the clitoris on the upper vaginal wall. 

It Keeps Getting Bigger!

The clitoris grows over time. When a girl reaches puberty, the clitoris begins to grow. By the time a woman is 32, the clitoris has grown almost four times the size it was in puberty. After menopause a woman's clitoris may be seven times as large as it was in puberty. Which could account for the reason why so many middle ages women report such hot sex.  Don't worry, you won't have to tuck it in to hide it as you age. Older women also should know their way around their own body. If you are wondering why your penis has shrunken while your woman's clitoris has grown, read this. 

What Is The Clitoris For?

Can you say, PLEASURE? Yup, the clit is the only part of a woman's sexual parts that is solely for her pleasure. It is the fastest way to get a woman off and most women know it. Most women do not orgasm through penile penetration alone. They need the friction

of the clitoris to get there. They need the stimulation of the G-spot to ejaculate. If your woman doesn't ejaculate, you have not sufficiently stimulated her. It is not that she doesn't have a G-spot. Do you see men walking around without a penis? I rest my case!

Locating The G-Spot

If you insert your finger gently inside a woman's lubricated vagina, curl your hand upward and use your finger in a come hither motion, you will touch the G-spot. The G-spot article will follow the clitoris, as it should (next). 

The clitoral orgasm is intense and final. In other words, after a woman experiences a clitoral orgasm she may be complete, done finito! She may twitch when you attempt to touch her elsewhere. Give her time, she could be ready to go in another minute or two. Remember, that every woman is different. A clitoris has several pleasure centers. The one most often talked about is at approximately 1:00 if you are looking at a woman from below, or between her legs. 

How To Stimulate A Clitoris

Placing the tip of your finger on the clitoris, gently add pressure inward, making concentric circles slowly at first, adding pressure and speed as you go. If you use too much lube you will totally piss her off! The clitoris can be stimulated gently without lube for heightened pleasure. The key is that women need to feel the rubbing, circles of pleasure and lubrication often gives you too much skidding - without the needed pressure. (Read my book about this.)

Oral Sex

Most women will tell you that they love a good tongue lashing, myself included! However, too much saliva causes too little friction. Whatever you do, don't stop in the middle of oral sex, you might get kicked, yelled at or who knows what else. Once she begins to moan, keep up whatever you are doing. Don't stop to ask for directions! You know you don't when you are driving, so don't now!

The Best Way To Find What She Likes

Ask a woman to show you how she stimulates herself. Watch what she does. Don't think you know better. Listen to what she says. A woman that has self stimulated will be able to tell you exactly what feels good. Listen to what she tells you. It is not a penis. 

It Never Gets Old

Unlike the male penis which can shrink and sag with age, the clit never does. No matter how old a woman is, she can still orgasm through stimulation of her little love bud! Isn't it time you got to know yours, intimately! If you have never brought your woman to orgasm through the clitoris, you are missing a very big boat. You may be up a creek without a paddle ..... read my book, Orgasm For Life. Find out more about how to pleasure a woman, completely. 

For more information about the clitoris and some enlightening pictorals check out Wikipedia here.

The clitoris in some cultures is removed to prevent their women from experiencing pleasure. The underlying reason is to keep her from experiencing pleasure with others. Why would you want sex if there was no pleasure for you in it? This surgical removal is cruel, misogynistic.

This video was created by Paul Joannides Psy D. author of The Guide To Getting It On. I've watched it, and consider it great! Enjoy!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach, author, hypnotherapist Master energy healer and reads the Akashic Records. She was non-orgasmic due to sexual trauma in childhood. She details her experiences in her books, found on Amazon.com. Jennifer's foundational work is healing codependency and addictions. Work that she did on her own, which led her to become a hypnotherapist, love and passion coach energy healer and author. For a free discovery session to work on an issue, or see if her work is a good fit for your recovery and happiness, e-mail her here. 

10 Ways to Heal The Sexless Marriage

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Relationships naturally have ups and downs. Sometimes we feel very connected to our spouses and other times we may wonder what brought us together in the first place? We can sometimes feel alienated, resentful and angry with the person we are married to. We are different. Men and women are wired differently with differing needs. 

A sexless marriage is defined as a marriage where a couple has sex no more than 10 times a year. 

What causes a sexless marriage between two healthy people? Differing sex drives is one of the biggest issues, however it is not always the cause. 20 to 30 percent of men and 30 to 50 percent of women say that they have no sex drive. - USA Today.

Relationships can be challenging, there is no doubt about that. Intimate relationships bring up our deepest fears and insecurities providing a mirror into our own issues. Relationships can also raise us to the highest of heights and incredible bliss when we are in sync, connected through mind-body-spirit with hearts wide open, communicating lovingly.

Sex is a spiritual expression of love. It is Divine. Having sex is as natural as drinking water when we have thirst or eating food when we are hungry. Denying our sexuality is denial of who we are. It is not the same as transcending sex. Transcendence occurs without

thought, without effort and certainly without resentment. When sex leaves a marriage you lose yourself, because you are denying your natural state. 

Denying sex also causes issues with your lower two chakras. When the root chakra and sacral chakras are blocked there can be physical issues with the genitalia, prostate issues, financial issues can result as well as blocks to creativity and being out in the world in a big way.

When one person is unhappy with the amount of sex, arguments, complaining and sniping at one another often result. Love is the foundation of a healthy, happy marriage.  Sex provides the glue to keep a couple connected, intimate and openly communicating. Sex can break down barriers and help remind us of the love that exists between us. When one person refuses sex, the other can feel rejected, unloved and under appreciated. A loving coupling can open the door to deeper more meaningful conversations and an openness between two people. When trust is present, deeper intimacy can occur. When intimacy is present it bonds a couple in ways that go beyond a marriage certificate or a wedding ring.

Our sexuality is the core of who we are. When we deny ourselves pleasure through sex, we are repressed. Repression creates obsession. Usually the person rejected becomes obsessed with sex. The relationship and the couple are out of balance. Sex is a natural expression of love. Rejecting someone that wants to make love to you is withholding love and abusive.

Sex can relieve tension, allow deeper sleep to occur and help a couple receive a beautiful expression of love. Not all sex is loving however. Sometimes sex is used to control the other. It can also be used to manipulate. Using sex as a tool is a distortion of sexual energy. 

Refusing sex is often egoic. Sometimes we get into our heads with deep criticism of the other person. We need to remember if we think it about the other person, we usually have the issue ourselves. Unforgiveness of past events and resentment can keep a couple on a sexless continuum until one either leaves or moves beyond their fear to break the silence. There are two parties in a marriage, it only takes one to cross the chasm to begin the repair of your relationship. 

Anything worth having is worth risking. Just as any illness can be healed, so can any relationship. It takes effort, risk, patience and willingness to do whatever it takes. Think about what the costs are if you do nothing. Divorce, more heartbreak, financial ruin alimony and custody are real. Divorce is painful. You may not receive the hug you are hoping for on the first try, but if you don't wave the white flag and offer your hand and open heart, you are not even trying. Following are 10 ways to open the door to reconnection and healing the rift in your sexless marriage:

1. Return to love. Marriage is all about love. Remember the love you have shared. The person who is refusing sex needs more love, not less. Begin to show love in tender nurturing ways that have nothing to do with sex. A hand squeeze, a hug, doing something that you know they would appreciate, flowers, a love note. Someone has to make the first step without fear.
2. Eye contact. When we stop having sex, we also stop looking at our partners deeply in the eyes. Reconnect through your eyes. Look at your partner through eyes of love, rather than anger,
   
   resentment and unforgiveness. Make eye contact as often as possible. Remember how you used to gaze into each other's eyes when you were dating?
3. Communicate with an open heart. Talk about your day. Ask about your spouse's. Let your partner know you are serious about re-connecting and healing your relationship and are willing to do whatever it takes to make that so. Communication is one of the biggest issues with couples who are not having sex. When sex is lacking, loving communication is usually not present either. Sharing your thoughts and feeling with your partner is a large part of getting you into the bedroom. If you are barely speaking, change that pattern. 
4. Praise and bless your spouse. Begin recognizing all that your spouse does. Praise their efforts. Tell them how much you appreciate them. When we don't get what we want, we might say unkind things to get a reaction. Sometimes we lash out because we are hurt. If you want to rekindle the love and sex in your marriage saying negative things will not get you into the bedroom together. 
5. Acts of Service. To move off center you will have to pull out all the stops. Make dinner. Clean the bathroom. Do the laundry.
   
   Do something nice that your spouse would appreciate. Don't give up too soon, you are on a roll!
6. Loving Kindness. Be kind to your spouse. Say kind words. Avoid criticism. When we aren't getting what we want, we can recoil instead of move toward the person we want to be close to. The exact opposite has to occur. You didn't get here overnight, it took time. Miracles happen, but I would do everything you used to do when you were blissfully happy. Actions speak louder than words. Show you mean what you say.
7. Touch. Hold hands, touch their shoulder as you walk by, give their hand a loving squeeze. Notice that touch is way down the list. Touching too soon can lead to more rejection. Begin with something small that has no sexual connotation. Ask before
   
   you move into a hug, or snuggling. Take it slow. 
8. Massage. Once you have moved slowly through these stages, ask if your partner would like a massage. If they are open to it, do so with the understanding that this is just a massage. If nothing more occurs, at least you have begun to touch each other in non-sexual ways. This is a huge step forward. Have no expectations. Don't feel rejected if they are not ready yet to take it to the next step.
9. Dance. Dancing is a beautiful way to move together in unison, but still safe enough for the other party to feel comfortable. Suggest a dance lesson, or go out dancing together. If this isn't possible, there is always dancing in the dark at home. Again, have no expectations or agenda.
10. Making Love. When you are able to reach this stage, it might have taken months or weeks. Whatever length of time it took is okay. Don't be attached to time frames. You have been healing along the way, reconnecting through other means. Before having sex together make sure you discuss the terms or boundaries. How it needs to happen, how each of you will feel most comfortable. Use lubrication, just in case it is needed. Talk about what each of you wants, likes and prefers. Try not to control the outcome. Allow things to unfold naturally. Don't have any expectations. 

There are many reasons people don't want to have sex. From a woman's perspective, it could be that she felt unloved and used as a sexual object or receptacle. This is not a comfortable place to be. If one or the other has had an affair, been addicted to pornography or other issues, you have to deal with this as well. Addictions to alcohol or drug addiction can precipitate a resistance of the other party to have sex with you. Don't be afraid to look at your own issues and what led you to this place. Always remember that love was present when you began. It has not been lost, it is just covered up.

Low Libido As The Root Cause

Low libido has many different causes. Our bodies need to be in balance for our hormones to operate properly. If you thyroid is out of whack other hormones will be also. Getting the thyroid checked is a first step. Low functioning thyroid is an epidemic in the US and other countries as well. Getting your hormones checked or taking a libido stimulant can also help. There are many good ones available in health food stores. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, hypnotherapist, love and passion coach as well as an energy healer. She combines all of what she has learned from her own healing of addictions and codependence as well as the six modalities she is certified in her coaching. She is also a catalyst for healing. Just being on the phone with her will lift your spirits and help you feel more calm and peaceful.  She helps those who are looking for love and happiness to find it within themselves first, so that they can become the magnet for it in the world. You can set up your Free discovery session with Jennifer to find out if her work is a good fit for you.

How To Attract "THE ONE"

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Are you looking for a loving relationship? This is one of the major issues that I help women with. Does it work for men too? Absolutely! Every person that has worked with me,  looking for a relationship has found exactly what they were looking for in amazing ways. In this 7 minute video, created for Digital Romance, I share some of the tools I share in my coaching programs. I hope you enjoy it. If you do, share it with your friends.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach. She is masterful is helping people find the love that they are looking for. The more you love yourself, the happier you will be. Being happy with yourself helps create a more loving grounded relationship with fewer issues. She is certified in six different modalities. She helps people eliminate fears, anxiety, depression, unworthiness, illness, auto-immune disease. 

Even people who have had issues attracting the wrong type of partner can find love. Jennifer is an expert at helping you overcome the fears, beliefs and patterns that stop you from having what you desire. 

Being happy and unconditionally accepting of ourselves helps us live in the moment, with peace and internal fulfillment. If you keep attracting the wrong type of person and are ready to have a love that nurtures and supports you, you have come to the right place. This is where Jennifer lives and breathes! Contact her now for a free discovery session to find out if Jennifer's work is just what the doctor ordered!

The Truth About Mothers

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Until we deliver our first child, we have no idea what we are in for. Hours of sleepless nights, nursing colicky babies, rocking, changing diapers and often staying up all night with feverish infants worrying. Having a baby changes us. The joy of holding our newborn child is such a miracle. It is one of the most important moments of our existence. We become a mother by giving birth. Our bodies change, our hormones change. Our entire life is turned upside down. 

Most mothers sacrifice clothes, trips even cars to feed and clothe their children. The sacrifices of time, energy and love are endless. Instead of focusing on what we want, most of us put all our energy into raising our children. Our focus turns to our children and family for about 20 years. If we have children later in life, our commitment is longer. In my case I had children at home for 32 years. 

As mothers we revel in our children's accomplishments. We feel their sadness and grief at the losses they experience. Even when our children become adults, we still feel a deep connection, experiencing their pain as they do. 

Most mothers make decisions based on what is best for our family. Some women give up their dreams, putting careers on hold. Focusing on family, mothers do the best that they can with what they have learned and know. We often feel resentment, anger and unforgiveness for events that occurred years ago. 

Our relationship with our mother is what forms our beliefs about relationships. When we are estranged from our mothers our relationships are challenging. Until we resolve our relationship with our mother we are not fully healed. We cannot have a healthy relationship when we have not forgiven our mothers for what they

didn't do for us. Continuing to blame our parents for what is happening in our lives is not taking responsibility for ourselves. Forgiving our mothers is an important part of the growth process. Most of us could point fingers siting many examples of what was not done for us, but what did they do?

My mother taught me how to cook, how to sew, how to clean a house. My mother is an excellent cook and taught me how to bake, how to present a beautiful meal. She taught me manners, spelling and grammar. She taught me how to be a lady. She encouraged me when I was writing to continue to write. Even when she didn't like my first book, she praised my second. It is a long journey on this road of life, recognizing what has been given to us, can certainly make us recognize the blessings we have received along the way. 

Each event in our lives teaches us more about us. Our mothers gave us life. They gave years, energy and love to us, to the best of their ability. Without our mother's efforts and love we would not be here.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, hypnotherapist, love and passion coach and energy healer. She is a catalyst for healing. Just being on the phone with her will lift your spirits and help you feel more calm and peaceful.  She helps those who are looking for love and happiness to find it within themselves first, so that they can become the magnet for it in the world. You can set up your Free discovery session with Jennifer to find out if her work is a good fit for you.

The Law Of Reciprocity and Sex

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

I originally wrote this post for Conscious Life News. I am a featured author for them. 

Conscious Life News Article on Reciprocity

The law of reciprocity is one of the Universal Laws, that states that whatever you send out into the cosmos, or Unified Field will return to you. Whatever emotions you feel, thoughts you think, and things you do, reverberate out and then boomerang back to you, manifesting as physical outcomes in the material world. The Unified Field can be experienced as the field of unlimited possibilities.

In my coaching practice, I often hear both women and men making statements like; "This will never work." "This will be hard." "He'll never go for that!" Even people who are waking up, use closed-ended statements that bring exactly what they don't want right back to them. Let's look at what Merriam Webster says about reciprocity for further clarification.

1. a situation or relationship in which two people or groups agree to do something similar for each other, to allow each other to have the same rights, etc. : a reciprocal arrangement or relationship

2. the quality or state of being reciprocal :  mutual dependence, action, or influence

3. a mutual exchange of privileges; specifically:  a recognition by one of two countries or institutions of the validity of licenses or privileges granted by the other

 

Why then in so many relationships is there little reciprocity? Men complain about not getting enough oral sex, which makes me wonder, are they giving as much as they want in return? Women complain that they are generous with favors or the oral kind, yet their men ignore this law, not returning the favor. Houson, we have a problem!

 

 

My recommendation to couples is to come to the party ready and in sacred form. What does this mean? You wouldn't show up at a wedding without showering. Why then would you consider showing up for an intimate event unshowered. Most of us feel uncomfortable when we have not arrived showered fresh. My recommendation is to make a shower or bath a sacred act, the beginning of your coupling. Brush your teeth, gargle, so that you are kissable fresh. The law of reciprocity works here by suggesting your partner be as clean and fresh as you are.

 

 

For the men in the group, I recommend making sure that your partner has had as much fun as you have. It you are too tired after you have expended your energy and you know it, make sure that you have pleasured your partner till they have had as much enjoyment as you are about to. My recommendation to heterosexual couples is this: women come first, last and always.

 

 

I have interveiwed hundreds of couples married and single. Of the women I interviewed, they said they rarely had orgasms as often as their male partners. In fact, many women said they never did. One woman, married 35 years told me that she thinks she had one orgasm. When she talked to her huband about it, he put a pillow over her head and beat her. Women need to be able to speak up about their lack of satisfaction, without being reprimanded or punished for it. Everyone deserves to have pleasure. When it is one-sided relationships eventually fail. Someone leaves because they are tired of being disatisfied. Or the flip side is that sex becomes so unfulfilling that the women just say, no!

 

 

Faking orgasms is inauthentic. It is a lie. We need to be honest with our partners and expect reciprocation for pleasure given. Using the Universal Law of Correspondence, you probably lie about other things as well if you fake orgasm. You might lie to yourself or be in denial about other things, but don't recognize it yourself. 67% of women fake orgasm and 72% of women have been with a partner who orgasmed and didn't help her get there.

 

 

A woman that came to me for sex therapy was concerned that there was something wrong with her. In 26 years of marriage, she rarely orgasmed. When I asked what was their usual fare, she told me the following: he would digitally stimulate her for about two minutes, mount and go for the gold. Their coupling lasted approximately two minutes. His wife suggested swinging and he declined. She was so disappointed in their sex life and attempted to change things up a bit. He lost all around. She divorced him. This tells the very real and sad truth. Men don't know what women need and are not particularly interested in doing the research to find out.Sadly 40% of women rarely have orgasms and keep on faking it to make their partners feel better. Pleasure is to be reciprocal. A relationship needs to be mutually pleasurable. When women are not pleasured to orgasm, they often feel frustrated, angry and resentful. This resentment spills over into the relationship as well. These feelings do not diminish over time. If a couple stays together for the long haul, these same men are the ones complaining that there is no sex later in life at all.

 

Part of the issue is that many women are afraid to explore their own bodies.  To illustrate this point a recent study found that 30% of women and 25% of men don't know where the clitoris is. I recently coached an older gentleman who was having sexual issues with his wife and bought my book. He and his wife have been together over 40 years. He told me after reading Orgam For Life, he found he was doing everything wrong. He thought the clitoris was the G-Spot! For sex to be mutually pleasurable we both need to explore ourselves, what feels good and what doesn't. Conversations about sex need to happen outside of the bedroom, when you are at dinner or over a glass of wine. You never know where you might end up once you open a discussion about pleasure.

 

 

One of the questions I ask men is, "How would you feel if you had sex several times a week for 30 years, without an orgasm, without oral sex or without receiving adequate pleasure to experience bliss?" The answer is a unanimous, "That would suck!" You betcha! As a woman who experienced just that, I stand for women who are not speaking up, who are not asking for what they deserve. This is why I wrote Orgasm For Life. For the women in the crowd and the men that are regularly getting you to the big "O," I applaud you both. For those lucky women, I hope you buy him a bottle of wine or make him something nice for dinner. Men like that are few and far between.

 

 

The statistics paint a dim picture of what men have learned about us women and what we need to get us there. 75% of men continue to have penetrative sex with their female partners, even though only 25% of women experience vaginal orgasms a third of the time. In other words, most women do not orgasm through penetrative sex alone.

 

 

Women need to speak up and ask for what they want. Why aren't women doing this for the most part? The answer is complex. The first reason is because women don't want to bruise their partner's egos. Men's self esteem is rooted in their sexuality. When we say we aren't coming, men are often crest-fallen. Some men take it like a big boy and say, "Ma'am what can I do to help?" Well some of them do. When I told my husband he raged at me, to the point that I never brought it up again.

 

 

What most men don't realize is that although they can reach the pinacle of pleasure in 2 minutes or slightly more, most women need 20 to 40 minutes of stimulation to get the Mount Everest high. The key is in the way that you have sex. If oral sex and digital stimulation precedes penetrative sex for at least fifteen minutes, you might be lucky enough to get her there. Not everyone is wired the same way, however. When I was doing research for my book, I found one woman who could think her way to an orgasm. I really want to meet this incredible woman. What a mind! She must have one heck of an imagination!

 

 

5 Things Women Can Do To Experience More "O"

 

1. Practice self pleasuring. Find out what feels good. Get to know what parts of your body are more sensitive. Everyone is different.
2. Open your mouth and breathe. When women keep their mouth closed during sex, they are less likely to orgasm. As above so below. An open mouth relaxes the vagina and helps you orgasm. The throat is also a sexual center, as most men already know. Open your mouth!
3. Pump your hips up and down and squeeze your vaginal muscles. When you move your hips up and down you get your kundalini moving. The kundalini is the source of life and pleasure. It moves up the spinal column, from the root chakra and culminates in the frontal cortex of the brain at the time of orgasm lighting up 80 centers in the brain. Squeezing the vaginal muscles, can heighten pleasure for you both. Doing kegels out of the bedroom is recommended for both sexes for enhancement.
4. Be In The Moment and Focus on Sex. Thinking about the laundry, the kids, shopping, dishes in the sink will only keep you distracted and from achieving an orgasm. Your mind is what ignites your body. Think about how wonderful it feels. Focus on the pleasure. Each time your mind wanders come back to your body. Feeling each moment. Enjoying the pleasure.
5. Make Sounds. Sounds are the primal force of nature. Sound is creation. Moaning will turn you and your partner on. If you feel so moved, YELL! Most women are so concerned about what the neighbors will think, will the police be called? Forget about what you look like and be in the moment. Allowing yourself to let go with sounds will also help you let go and achieve ultimate pleasure.

The law of reciprocity teaches us that what we send out comes back to us. All our thoughts, words, emotions and even our orgasms. Giving pleasure to your partner may be the best way to heighten your pleasure too. Watching your partner's face in ecstacy has got to be one of the most fantastic experiences we can have, next to our own orgasmic bliss!
 
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters awakened in 2012. She is a Metaphysician, author, love and passion coach and lover of pleasure. Through her own journey and Tantra healing she became orgasmic. After spending much of her life not having orgams she now helps women and men have more fulfilling sexual and loving relationships. Self Love is the foundation of all her work with addictions, relationships and the key to enlightenment. Jennifer's blog, Love Yourself Fearlessly, is one you will want to read and share with your friends. She also has videos on You Tube to assist you. Her books are available on Amazon.com. You can e-mail Jennifer to set up your discovery session for free to see if her work is a good fit for you. Other posts by Jennifer
 
 

 

 

 

 

Why New Mothers Avoid Sex After Childbirth

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

There are plenty of reasons women don't want sex after they have had a baby. An Australian study surveyed more than 1,500 women after childbirth. 13% of women won't have sex for six months after their first baby is born. The second child could take even longer to recover from. 

Remember that everyone is different. I remember hearing about a cousin of mine having sex with her husband in the hospital yes, right after she delivered her first child. Some women have an incredible sex drive after having a baby, while others couldn't even think about sex for months. I was one of the latter.

This study found that 41 percent said they had resumed vaginal sex within 6 weeks after delivering their baby, 65 percent by eight weeks, 78 percent by 12 weeks and 94 percent by 6 months.

Why?

After having a baby, there are many reasons many women aren't the least bit interested in sex. The biggest reason women don't want sex is that they don't want to get pregnant - AGAIN! I remember being so fearful I would get pregnant. Sounds logical, doesn't it? Many men don't understand what a woman goes through chemically, physically or emotionally during pregnancy and up to three years after childbirth for some women.  

Even with breast feeding a new mother is highly fertile. She will not want to have sex for fear she could be pregnant before she has even re-gained her beautiful figure.

New Mother's Rarely Feel Sexy

The second biggest reason women don't want sex is that they don't feel sexy. Wearing a big breast feeding bra, leaking milk, having a baby hang on them almost all day, takes the pleasure out of being touched by their man. Every time you get turned on while breast feeding, milk squirts out of your breasts and rolls down your side, leaving you feeling sticky, reminding you what breasts were really made for! 

Losing baby weight takes

months - even years for some women. During this time, their breast begin to sag, their tummy is not as tight as it used to be. How could it be. They had a little human in there. I remember my husband looking at me and saying, "You know you can lose that, you know?" I wanted to kick him in the balls. He was not the one that carried three children for 9 months. Men who make comments like that need to be strung up and ...... (something to do with 50 shades of gray) sorry, I got carried away.

Don't Touch Me!

The third biggest reason new mothers don't want sex is that are getting all their tactile needs met holding, nursing, rocking their new baby. Taking a shift for your wife would help this. The last thing many women want is another person pawing and grabbing at your breasts or other body parts after spending all day and half the night nursing, cuddling and holding your new baby. 

I Don't Feel Sexy AND I'm Feeling Blue Too!

Not only does a woman's body need to get back in shape, they have chemistry to balance back out. Hormones are out of whack. They just finished carrying a baby to full term, delivered, her milk came in, she may or may not be breast feeding, there are a lot of hormones trying to regroup in her body. It takes almost a full year for everything to balance out after a full term pregnancy. 

Post partum depression is a real thing. It happens to the most stable of mothers. Crying for no reason, having fears that something will happen to the new baby are all very real. Be kind. Be compassionate. Be understanding. Give yourself a hand job if your lady just isn't interested. 

Remember, this child took two people to conceive. She did not get pregnant all by herself. Thinking that she needs to take care of all your sexual needs when she is taking care of your baby and herself, as well as the household, doesn't help either of you. She needs understanding. She also needs your love and acceptance while she gets her body-mind and emotions back. Balancing everything initially can be more than a new mother can deal with. 

Surgery

Delivering a baby can be very painful. It can cause tears along the perineum (the area between the vagina and anal opening) that take time to heal. Even after the stitches have disolved and staples from her C-section are removed, her body is in discomfort and pain. It is customary to wait for six weeks to have sex. However, for many, six weeks just isn't enough time. Not everyone takes six months to want sex, but many women do. 

An episiotomy scar leaves the vaginal opening changed. Her vagina is re-grouping. There are many physiological changes happening while her body heals. A woman may also be concerned she will be too wide, too large or not enjoy sex the same way after motherhood. Men too can be concerned about fit, feeling and whether he will enjoy sex the same, knowing what just came out of his wife's vagina.

Rest

Many women are so fatigued taking care of a newborn and healing that they would rather sleep than have sex. Women who are sleep deprived are less likely to want sex. Sleep deprivation has been proven to reduce a woman's libido considerably. With adequate sleep and healing she will be wanting to couple with you again. Just be generous with your complements and understanding. Remember this baby is yours too. Understanding, loving kindness and gentleness is what she needs. Do your best to be compassionate. This is a phase, this too shall pass. Be patient, supportive and loving. 

Kegels

Once things begin to settle down, doing kegels to get the vagina back into shape, as well as the pelvic floor strengthened can help tighten up the vagina. There are two distinct sets of muscles a woman can intermittently squeeze and release. The PC muscles are one set, that can be felt when you stop the flow of urine while peeing. Pulling up and sqeezing will tighten the PC muscles. Doing sets of 30 or 40 repetitions while sitting; squeezing, holding for 10 seconds. then releasing, several times a day while folding laundry or even nursing can help to restore your lovely female parts to their pre-pregnant state.

Kegels can strengthen orgasms as well as restore muscle tone.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, love and passion coach and healed healer. She has been where you are. Having had three children herself, she knows what hormone changes can bring. For your free discovery session e-mail Jennifer here to book yours, or ask questions. 

Jennifer helps women and men recover from addictions, codependency, sexual trauma and depression. In the process of becoming happy with you, anxiety, fears, control, reactivity all fall away. Her own journey of healing helped her create a program that

helps people heal gently, without staying stuck in their story. If you are interested in recovery, healing or transformation, Jennifer will gently and compassionately give you the nudge you need to get out of your rut, stuckness or negativity. Having healed her own depression, illness and victimization, she knows what works and what doesn't. 

Is Your Vagina TOO Hot?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Hot is great. Lying on the beach in the hot sun can be sexy and alluring. Stay out too long, however can leave you sunburned and blistered. The same thing is true of drinking a hot cup of tea. Hot is good, but boiling hot can be dangerous. There is such a thing as too hot. If you have ever tasted hot soup straight off the stove you might have burned the roof of your mouth, like I did recently. It takes a week to heal from blistering heat. 

What happens when your partner complains that your vagina is too hot for sex?

With a vagina that is too hot what do you do? I promise you that you will have answers to your too hot for sex body. I am going to introduce you to The Science Of Life, that has been on the planet for thousands of years. I ask you to keep your mind open. There are infinite possibilities out there for healing. This one might be just what you need to hear about right now. 

When I was in India, I had the amazing experience of having an Ayurvedic massage, complete with the sacred oil poured on my third eye (forehead), laying on a table made of ancient Ayurvedic wood, cut from one piece of tree. Ayurveda is something to consider when it comes to complete balance of mind-body-spirit. The entire personality, body chemistry, emotions and soul are taken into account with Ayurveda.

One of my clients came to me with this very issue of an overly hot internal temperature of her most personal place, her vagina. Immediately I knew that she needed to balance her diet to calm down the internal

vaginal temperature. She is also trying to conceive. You can't conceive when your body is too hot or out of whack.

What I have discovered is a system you may already know about. If you don't I hope you will be open minded and do your own research to help you and restore balance in both your personal health and that of your relationship.

When you begin to study the different body types, Pita, Vata, Kapha, they make such sense and help us understand our partners as well as ourselves better. The different personality types are based on

the 5 Elements. Earth, water, air, fire ether (astral or space).

The personality type we are focusing on today is PITA.

Characteristics of PITA DOSHA

The primary function of the Pita Dosha is transformation. 

Qualities of Pita That Manifest in Both Body and Mind: 
Pitas tend to be leaders. Intelligent, strong and often argumentative when out of balance, they have a fiery nature that manifests in body and mind. They tend to be intense, penetrating, pungent, sharp, acidic. They usually have excellent digestion, often leading them to believe that they can eat absolutely anything. When out of balance they can have indigestion, ulcers and burning sensations.

Physical Qualities

Pita Dosha characteristics involve a medium build often (but not always) with red hair, prone to graying or thinning. They have excellent digestion, which often makes them believe they can eat anything. Sleep soundly for short periods and have a strong sex drive. Pitas suffer from skin rashes and burning sensations.

Intellect

Sharp intellect, focused, orderly, confident, like to be in charge. When in balance they are good decision makers. When out of balance or stressed the Pita becomes irritated, angry and short-tempered. They are precise, sharp witted and direct - to the point of being outspoken (sound like anyone you know?) I am a PITA.

Pita is a combination of fire and water. It is dependent on a balanced state of these elements in our bodies. 

There are many things that can cause high internal heat in the body. An imbalance in the diet is the biggest. The fastest way to change internal vaginal heat? Diet. Eat cooling foods, rather than hot or heat producing foods. Towards the end of this article is a list of cooling foods and then a list of prohibited foods if you are way too hot inside. The key is to keep our bodies in balance, rather than too cold or too hot. 

The Science of Ayurveda uses foods, spices to balance and heal the body. The premise is that each of us has a personality type which

determines the types of foods we ought to eat to keep our mind-body and soul in balance. When we eat these foods, our health improves our moods balance out. We become less aggressive, emotional and angry. 

You might wonder why you want to go to the medicine of an ancient civilization to find out what your issues are - clearly medicine in the Western World is not supporting you. We need medicine that uses food first to heal, rather than medicine to mask symptoms rather than heal. 

There are several great tests on the Internet to discover your Dosha (body chemistry type). I have taken all three. The best one I found is Doshaguru.com I am providing both here below, so you can take the test yourself, to find what Dosha you are. 

When stressed Pitas might become angry or blame. Pitas are natural born leaders, tend to be persuasive, rather than passive, sound like me? When you uncover your type, you can also find the cause of your underlying psychological and physical issues. The truth is Ayurvedic principles have been used to balance emotional, physical and psychological challenges which lead to better health and happier relationships. Understanding you and your partner's DOSHA will help you both. 

Find Out Your Dosha

The first test is on The Chopra Center website. It is excellent and has many products to support your Dosha type. 

The second is from Lisa Coffey. Lisa has studied Ayruvedic Science and written several books. Her test is good also.

The one I liked the best, because it gives percentages of each DOSHA that you have within you is Dosha Guru.com

If your extremities are always cold, you need to eat more heat producing or warming foods. Drinking icy drinks is not recommended for people with a cold constitution.

Why Is Excessive Vaginal Heat Detrimental?

One would think that heat in the vagina is a good thing. We want sex to be hot. Sometimes, however, the internal heat in the vagina is so hot that it causes a man's erection to subside. It can also cause a woman to be very dry inside, or have difficulty becoming aroused. Entering a woman when she is dry can be painful for both parties. 

In Ayurvedic medicine, this condition is considered PITA DOSHA. Some of the side effect this condition produces are an acidic body, hot tempered anger, critical attitude and bad hair. Changing your diet to counteract this condition is simple. Eat foods that are on the Pita Dosha diet. 

In Chinese Medicine, this condition is called INTERNAL FIRE. For good reason. When you eat heat producing foods, what happens? HEAT! When you have internal fire, you may experience

hot flashes, sweats and moodiness. Oh, that sounds awfully like most women's menopause! AHA! You get the picture. 

If you get angry easily, are critical, angry or intense, you probably have too much heat in your body. Like with a steam engine, your moods are trying to tell you there is too much heat, by letting off steam. Unfortunately, your family and co-workers suffer from your intensity.

Cooling Foods

Foods that are best to cool a hot constitution are sweet fruits, like apples, pears, pomegranate, mango, pineapple, plums, watermelon and grapes. Ripe melon also has cooling qualities. Vegetables to

eat are cucumbers, beets, asparagus, carrots. Follow the link above for more detailed information. Dairy, milk and butter (ghee which is clarified butter) are good for you. 

Foods To Avoid - They Raise Body Temperature

Avoid yogurt, cultured buttermilk and sour cream. Chicken, peaches, citrus, tomatoes, olive oil and olives, cumin, cayene, ginger, black pepper.

Dr. Oz had a segment on the Pita diet. Here is his rejuvenation meal plan to make things easier for you.

Substitute

Eat turkey instead of chicken as it is not heat producing but neutral. Lamb is warming, but not heat or fire producing. There is a difference.

When you eat right for your body type, whether you follow the blood type diet, or the Ayurvedic system, you are consuming foods that help you rather than hurt you. Each of us is responsible for our own health and happiness. Staying in balance is what life is all about! Live Long and Prosper!
Please e-mail me if you have questions, suggestions about articles, or subjects you are interested in. Want more of a subject I have already written about, please let me know HERE! THANK YOU.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, speaker, love and passion coach. She is passionate about helping you find the joy and happiness in your life. When you feel contented and fulfilled you will be happy whether you are in a relationship or not, whether you have money or don't. Happiness is an inside job. It does not come from wealth, success or a relationship. When we think a relationship will make us happy, it only does so for a short while, then we return to our "normal" state. When you become happy with you, everything changes. 

Having a fulfilling job that you love is key to your happiness. Jennifer is intuitive and helps you find your path that fulfills you. As a compassionate healer, she is direct, with integrity and honor that will help you find your way faster. 

Much Love,

Jennifer

Are You NakedHealthy?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Adam Gates of NakedHealthy

Our health begins with what we put in our mouths. What we eat, think and feel contributes to our well-being and longevity. Aging gracefully is done by maintaining a youthful attitude, without believing in what society teaches about getting older. We can still be active, youthful and have fun with sex well into our 70's and 80's if we choose to. 

My children were raised by a Metaphysician - me. I studied the effects of thoughts, food and living a healthy lifestyle early. My

oldest son has followed in my footsteps in his own way. I would like to introduce you to his blog, website and what he does. He promotes healthy living, a green lifestyle, and healthy mind. He is a model and spokesperson for Liberator.com and has been for nine years. 

Adam on top of Flagstaff Mtn. He is way out there!

Adam Gates has been a model, since he was 19. He has had roles in movies, and more recently begun teaching fitness since it has been a way of life for him since he was in his twenties. Adam was a skinny kid growing up. He grew tall, but was not happy with his slight build. He has developed ways to increase muscle mass without the aid of drugs and steroids. I invite you to check out his page and blog. So that you can be naked healthy also.

I invite you to visit his website: Naked Healthy.com

His face book page: Adam Gates on Face book
The charity he supports: Atlanta Pet Rescue

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach. She loves sex and has had lots of it. Through her coaching practice she helps others heal their addictions, relationship issues and love yourself fearlessly. She empowers women and men to live happy healthy lives, and loving relationships. The first one is with you. If you aren't happy with you, how can you expect anyone else to be? Isn't it time you loved yourself fearlessly? Contact Jennifer here.