Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Cheating Boyfriends and Other Life Lessons

Cheating Boyfriends and Other Life Lessons

What We Model For Our Children

Generational programming is a large part of what is playing out in our lives as well as our children's. If our parents had a dysfunctional relationship where abuse, adultery or other issues were present, you can bet that you too will have difficulty with similar issues. You may eventually extricate yourself from these issues, but the journey will be difficult and could involve lots of marriages or relationships and plenty of challenges within those relationships. 

 When We Stay For The Sake Of Our Children 

Ariel on her 17th Birthday in Sausalito, CA
 If you stay in an abusive relationship "for your children," like I did, your children learn that abuse is part of a relationship. They often grow up with low self esteem because of the abuse. Then they in turn attract partners that abuse them in some way. In my marriage lies and cheating were part of my husband's make up. I have gotten over these issues, but my daughter has attracted young men with similar issues into her life.

When your spouse lies and cheats these patterns are also transferred to our children. After witnessing my son's issues with cheating girlfriends and now Ariel's similar issues, I decided it was time to clear the 7 Generations Backwards and Forwards of the generational issue of attracting liars and cheaters.
The Golden Gate Ferry Ariel's first boat ride


     Sins Of The Father

Whatever behavior is modeled in your marriage will be passed on to your children. If you live with a husband who lies and cheats, the chances are great that your daughter will attract someone who lies and cheats. This was evident in my daughter's relationship. I found it very interesting that she attracted 3 boy friends in a row who cheated and lied. When my friend Bill pointed out that this pattern evident in my marriage to my daughter's father, I felt as if I had been hit with a lightning bolt! If you model a beautiful loving relationship for your children their chances for a successful relationship and marriage down the road is 85% more likely.

Denial is the other half of the equation. We often get information from a friend, as Ariel did it is important to weigh the information carefully. A friend called Ariel to inform her that her boyfriend was cheating on her. Ariel asked him about it and of course, he denied it. Trust was broken, but until there was positive proof my daughter gave her boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. Ariel remembers her father cheating on me, when she was 7 years old. She was a very alert child and wise beyond her years. I had my own suspicions. I asked him about it and was left feeling foolish and small for even thinking that way. Betrayal is a painful realization. However continuing in a marriage where trust is broken leaves you doubting yourself and your own wisdom. Paying attention to what our children see that we don't is important. 

Why do we choose not to see it? We don't want it to be true. Therefore we discount the information as false and continue to ignore the behavior. However, when lying and cheating is a part of someone's make up, it is a character flaw. You can't change it with your love. They have to want to change. Narcissistic people do not feel remorse for behavior. Avoiding them is the safest.Getting to know what the characteristics are of a narcissist will help you avoid them. They are unable to feel sympathy and are focused on what is best for them. Follow this link for more on narcissistic personality disorder. Not harmless behavior


Generational Patterns:Energy Clearing
When I clear a client's energy field, I ask if the program or pattern is generational. With a positive response, I clear the program, and Master Discordant Energy from my client as well as the 7 generations backwards and forwards. This way the issue is cleared for my client's children as well as their grandchildren. An energy clearing gets to the root of the issue, allows you to feel more peaceful, calm have more clarity as well as eliminate density in your



energy field. An energy clearing raises your vibration helps to stop mind chatter and eliminates negativity and fear. When you are free of anxiety and fear, life is less reactive and you are able to be in a state of acceptance instead of resistance. If you have attracted several relationships in a row with abuse, lying or cheating an energy clearing will help you to eliminate these patterns. 

Once the patterns are cleared coming into a place of Self Love is key. How do you love yourself? Read my next post Adore Yourself and Be Adored.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Transformation into Enlightenment

Christmas Past: Before Enlightenment

Christmas has been a time of stress, anxiety and depression for me. I missed those that were not with me. I missed my children when they spent time with their father. I felt lonely even when all my loved ones were together. Something was missing and its absence made me feel blue.

I could not put my finger on whether it was a gift I had longed for and not received, or the fact that I could not buy everything my children wanted, although I surely tried. Each and every Christmas was filled with a longing, and an emptiness, until the Christmas of 2012.

Transformation



For some, enlightenment happens suddenly. My experience was a series of gradual shifts which raised me to higher levels of consciousness and expansion. From the time I read an assigned book Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse in school, I wanted to be enlightened. I knew despite what I read that it happened over lifetimes, I wanted to be enlightened in this one. When I interviewed the Buddhist, Lama Surya Das for Oracle 20-20 magazine after reading his book, Awakening The Buddha Within, I knew this could also happen for me. I wondered if I needed to become Buddhist to become enlightened. I studied Buddhism and other religions and discovered on my own that enlightenment is not about religion. It is not about dogma. It is not about belief.

Inner Work

I  worked diligently on myself. I took workshops and became a hypnotherapist and an energy healer. I began to receive strong guidance, which I had begun to follow and trust implicitly. I traveled from city to city teaching workshops as I was guided to do. I even make two long distance moves within a year, which worried my friends and family. The move to Boulder, Colorado in the fall of 2011 was the one that had the most profound impact on me.

Walking in the mountains and daily meditation, sometimes for hours catapulted me beyond the mundane existence of constant suffering. I spent most of my waking hours out in nature and in Spiritual practise. In May of 2012 I had a mystical experience that I heard later occurred for several saints and mystics. After two hours of meditating I felt compelled to lay down to sleep. It was unusual for me to sleep in the middle of the day, but my eyes kept closing and I finally gave in, crawling under the covers  at 11:00 AM. As I laid my head on my pillow my body began to dematerialize. I could feel my body turn into pure energy as I slipped into a deep expansive, limitless space. I likened this physical feeling to seeing Captain Kirk of the Enterprise say, "Beam me up Scotty!" As he did so his body became dots of pure energy. This was what I experienced. When I woke up I felt as if I had been in a coma. This was not like a normal "sleep."

A few days later, my son, David called me to tell me I showed up on one of the pool decks he was cleaning; in physical form over 1,500 miles away. My body was in bed in Colorado, yet I showed up in Atlanta, Georgia. To say this is a miracle is an understatement. I realized something was happening that I could not stop if I wanted to.

Awakening and enlightenment for most is a gradual thing. Events happen in your life, you experience the emotions, pain and sorrow and you learn, you surrender, and transform. Letting go of past pain, shame and grief, forgiving those that you perceive have hurt you, and loving with non-attachment all helps to move you through the density of our physical form.

Emotions and Feeling

I thought that I would not feel pain if I was enlightened. I thought that I would not feel anger. True, we cease to be governed by emotion, you still feel even more deeply. You are no longer attached to the emotion. It moves through you quickly and is gone. It was gradual. I experienced months of chaos, pain and suffering and then it was gone. I noticed the voices in my head were quiet. There was no running commentary or critique of each event. I did not have to get involved in other's drama or problems. I was happy doing simple things or doing nothing. I could be still and quiet. I did not have to be on the go. I found myself doing less and enjoying life more. The busy-ness  and the "doing" were not present. The pressure to perform within my head was not there any more. 

Christmas Present: After Enlightenment

The gradual changes that I experienced the past three years culminated in enlightenment for me. I find joy in the smallest of things. I find beauty everywhere. I am happy no matter what my circumstances are. I appreciate everything and I love everyone. I see the Divine in everyone. Not only do I feel connected to The Divine, I feel no separation. God and I are ONE. This is what the ONENESS movement is all about. I am happy with me. I am happy alone. I am happy even though my two sons and daughters in law were not with me for Christmas. I feel full to overflowing instead of depleted. I am more grounded and present. I am happy even though the gifts were few. I am happy being isolated and far away from my mother and brothers. I do not feel lonely or alone. There is no emptiness or yearning. This is coming HOME.

In the place of longing, there is a feeling of fullness. There is no fear, there is no lack. I am not limited. There is love and acceptance and deep inner peace.

I am able to witness other's pain, yet not be entangled in it. I lovingly accept others as they are without having to judge or critique them. I am no longer embroiled in drama. I witness other's drama without reacting to it.

Levels of Expansion

I have witnessed and experienced tremendous growth within. Yet at the same time, I know I am not finished growing. I liken Spiritual growth to our educational system. We begin in nursery school, then move into elementary school. We continue through high school. Some people are content to stop at high school while others continue on to receive their Master's degree. I will ever be expanding and growing until the day I die. Even after death there is continued growth and inner work to be done, without the density of the physical body.

I welcome your comments and questions. I can also be reached at JenniferElizabethMasters.com

Jennifer is a catalyst. Her presence stirs up emotions for others allowing them to process easily. A word, a touch or a look opens up the blocks within you and allows blocked energy a way to move. Tears often  are a product of a session with Jennifer. They are an energetic release and are healthy, healing and safe. 

Jennifer is a Oneness Blessing giver, a hypnotherapist, psychic, certified Life Coach, medium, teacher and Spiritual mentor and author. Her first book, Odyssey Victim to Victory is available in bookstores and Amazon.com. She is currently working on her second book, "Love Never Dies" to assist people move through grief and loss of a loved one whether it is through death or divorce. This book will be available through her website as an e-book. Jennifer's work has an energetic transmission encoded within, a transmission of Light and Love 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

I found Joy at WalMart!




Bloom Where You Are Planted

As a hypnotherapist and psychic life coach business owner, moving from town-to-town can have some challenges. Trusting and following my intuition, my daughter and I moved from our Beloved town of Boulder to the Mojave desert. With two long distance moves in the past two years getting re-established in a new community and building a client base has been interesting to say the least.

Outcroppings near Lancaster, CA
Since my awakening I find myself to be happy doing anything. In a constant state of inner peace I have become a witness of my own life. The Mojave desert has its own beauty, but does not hold a candle to the pristine beauty of the Colorado Rockies. I find myself noticing the plastic grocery bags that blow across the street, or the tires thrown carelessly in the dunes. It just is. I am able to see beauty in the sparse vegetation and the naked mountains. The tumble weed that blows across Interstate 14 makes me laugh. I feel I am on the set of an old Spaghetti Western movie. I keep looking for Clint Eastwood to walk out of the dunes. With many movie sets in our midst that is not an impossibility.
Three mules for Sister Sarah,  Thunderbolt and Lightfoot
The community I live in is predominantly below the poverty line with well over 60% of the population on food stamps, social security and welfare.

Why Did God Send Me To The Desert?


One man's treasure.........


At first I wondered......... then it became increasingly obvious that I was needed here to shed light in a dark place. We arrived in the desert at the beginning of winter. I thought California was warm. All those songs about California girls had to have been written in the summer-time! There is a constant wild wind that whips across the flat open space. A forty-something male tried to make me feel badly by telling me I looked ridiculous in my parka. I couldn't have cared less how I looked. The old me is gone. The new me is not judgmental or critical. There are no voices in my head making constant comments about myself and others. I could not seem to get warm. I don't feel defensive in the least and certainly do not take other's stuff personally. The fact that I did not care how I looked was comical to me. This cold chilled me to the bone. Being comfortable in this climate was.

I have found it to be colder than my favorite place on earth, Boulder Colorado. With no heat in our rental home for the first two weeks, and cold water as well.  My previous California Dreamin' on such a winter's day is a several more months away!


I had to find a part-time job to fill in the gap between what I was earning as a psychic coach and healer. Although I feel and look young, prospective employers these days look at the graduation date on your resume. Mine had not seen the light of day in decades. Getting in front of a would-be employer is not like it used to be in the days of paper resumes and one-on-one interviews. As a white woman I have not encountered much discrimination until recently. I look 40, but my birth certificate says otherwise. Finding an office job was becoming increasingly difficult. I knew better than to fight or resist what was happening. Instead I took a different fork in the road. I had applied to 300 different companies in all sorts of capacities. I was not picky. I just needed a job. After weeks without fruit from all my seed planting, I looked at different opportunities. I applied for a position as a promoter. I was ecstatic when I got an e-mail response. I had seen women who promoted products at Costco in their hairnets. I really began to wonder what God wanted of me. I was an author, well educated and intelligent. My vanity was being put to the test.

I was delighted to have the opportunity to do a phone interview with the Regional Manager of Zip Fizz. We hit is off instantly and I was relieved to find he was conscious and awake. Breathing a sigh of relief I agreed to a two day working interview at Walmart for minimum wage. I knew I had the job. Of all the places I had applied for work, Walmart was not one of them. I preferred Target.

I studied and prepared prior to my on the job interview. I arrived prepared and early. I was grateful to have an opportunity for employment. The training manager was pleasant, personable and professional. I was beginning to really like this Zip Fizz company.
WHAT IS Zip Fizz? 
Zip Fizz was created by a naturopath to replace the killer energy drinks like Monster and Red Bull. It is loaded with vitamin B-12, potassium, magnesium and many other minerals. I learned how to mix the powder in water and after a few hiccups was very quickly selling my quota of product. My trainer was outgoing and used a carnival type approach to selling the product. Using Peg's methods I began shouting out the words with a high pitch crescendo, "Zip Fizz! Sports drink, healthy nutritional energy drink! Loaded with vitamin B-12, potassium and magnesium with no sugar! I said it so often during an eight-hour work day, it became second nature. In the middle of my shift at Walmart, I stopped to take a break to run to the rest-room. I sat down, shutting my eyes momentarily. I coasted easily into a place of neutrality - a meditative state. Unconsciously I shouted out to to the three other ladies in the stalls, "ZIP FIZZ!" When I realized I had done this out loud in the middle of the restroom,  I sat in my stall chuckling at first and then finally laughing out loud at myself. I had come to a place of complete loving acceptance of myself no matter what I did. I was a goof ball and I didn't care in the least! Zip Fizz indeed had gotten into my soul.

Working at Walmart opened my eyes to the number of sick and dying population. I have not had health insurance for over 15 years because I have been a business owner all that time. As a landscape designer and contractor in Georgia I never considered it. Health insurance to me was a guarantee that you will become sick. It felt like a crutch to me. Something to lean on. Leaning on something other than The Divine is not in my nature. I knew I did not want to be ill and die when I have so much to live for. Being or getting sick is not an option. One of my mantras is "I am vibrantly healthy." I give thanks for my vibrant health daily.
Set used in NCIS when Director Jen is gunned down
It was not long before I recognized that I was actually enjoying my job. Most nights I stayed beyond my working hours to assist an elderly gentleman or woman who could not find a product after the pharmacy staff had left the store. It was my joy to help someone in whatever way I could. It felt good to be doing something constructive. I never said "I can't help you I don't work for Walmart." They needed help and I gave it to them. They talked to me about their ailments. Many were in pain. I was working at Walmart and in JOY! Interesting. 
Joshua tree and tire 
Lake Los Angeles - a bit dry for my taste
 I enjoyed talking with people and found they liked talking to me. I connected with old farmers, and firemen, school teachers and many retired people. I met several Viet Nam vets in wheel chairs. People on oxygen, and loaded with prescription medicine, many using wheel chairs. It was reminiscent of the movie Wally. I began to wonder if that movie was based on Walmart. Old and young people came to my demo table and I talked to every single one of them. I gave my book away to several women who seemed like they could use some encouragement. My heart was actually singing while I offered Zip Fizz to the Walmart customers. I realized that it is not the place that was making me happy, it was the fact that I was being of service to The Divine, while offering Zip Fizz at Walmart. God never makes mistakes. We just don't know why were are sent somewhere going in. It is often revealed along the way if we are awake enough to notice. The Universe loves win-win situations. I was working, getting paid a decent wage. I received a steady stream of income and I was happy to be of service. I always gave more than was expected of me. I recognized that when you have inner peace it does not matter where you are or what you are doing. It is not the job we are doing, but how we do it that mattered. It was going above and beyond, giving of myself that made my heart sing. 


People who know me recognize my directness. I don't BS and I don't lie. At the end of my shift I had to walk into the back of the store and dispose of my cardboard and trash, walking past the stock boys on my way. I overheard one say in reply to another's prodding to move faster, that he got paid $10.00 an hour and he was moving at a $10 an hour speed. I called him on his BS as I walked by.  "Be happy you have a job, as many don't." Until you have gone without and eaten what is in the back of your cupboard for weeks on end, you cannot possibly recognize what it is to go without. I am grateful for my little part-time job. Where I am treated well, and acknowledged for my contribution. 

I recognize that I am in a different place in my life. I am grateful to be alive and healthy. I can see other's suffering and be compassionate towards them, but I can't change them, nor do I want to. When I committed to serve The Divine in 2010 I never dreamt of all the wonderful places I would be asked to go. Walmart was certainly not one of the places I thought I would frequent and be so delighted to be. 


Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author,  hypnotherapist, certified life coach and psychic medium. She facilitates workshops on the subject of Universal Law, Self Love and Self Mastery. She is a Oneness Blessing Giver, Ordained minister, and energy healer. She empowers women who have had trauma in their childhood to overcome their shame, ugliness and unworthiness. Her first book is available on Amazon.com:   Odyssey Victim to Victory  She is currently working on her second book, 
Love Never Dies 

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

MANIC MOVE TO THE MOJAVE - PART II THE MAGIC BEGINS....

"If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears." -Glenn Clark
 

On top of Flagstaff Mountain, December 1, 2012 Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel..... Maya Angelou

The months following Rich's passing were challenging. His absence challenged me further financially. After Rich's transition, of course all child support stopped. Without it, I could not make it. I had help from a dear family member for months which I was very grateful for. Boulder was expensive and I was not making enough to support us. Our apartment was too expensive for what I was earning. My oldest son, Adam and his girlfriend had moved in to help look after our animals when Ariel and I travelled to Georgia in June. While there I did several workshops and readings which paid for our trip, but not much more.

Adam and Klarissa were with Ariel when she found out about her father. They kept her stable and supported till my return from Toronto. They stayed until the end of August when it was obvious I could not continue to support two additional people. Rich had given me strong guidance about disempowering my children when he was on the earth plane. Now it was increasingly obvious to me that my inability to say, "NO" was causing me problems. I had to choose differently.

Ariel had begged me to let a friend of hers, move in with us, as she had been kicked out by both parents. It was enough that this teen was adopted and knew it, now she was abandoned and rejected by both parents. After saying "NO!" three times, I capitulated. Ariel said she had nowhere else to go. I knew of Tera (name changed) and had observed the way she was left in Boulder to fend for herself  o weekend after weekend while her father played around with his latest female companion. He kicked both adopted children out when he wanted more privacy and time with her. Tera was depressed from being abandoned. I felt for her, and gave her space to heal.

I contacted Tera's father immediately to let him know that I had his daughter. I also called child services to let them know I had Tera. It was the right thing to do. Tera's father and his female companion both called and left me messages. Her father said that Tera was not living with me, but with Kaytie. He had inferred he had no what I was talking about. His female companion called to tell me that I had it all wrong and that Fred was a really good man and a great father. It was Tera that was bad. She informed me that I had no idea what I was talking about. Child Protective Services told me they would leave Tera with us, as it was a stable environment. They would seek child support from Tera's parents. They could not shirk their responsibilities just because they wanted to. I mentioned the pending eviction and they put me in touch with several different agencies. One thing led to another. Had it not been for the addition of Tera in our household, I would never have asked for help.
Tera and Ariel


I went from one low rental to another. I was turned down by two government subsidized housing apartments and wondered what on earth I was going to do? I knew that their energy was low and one of them had really bad Feng Shui. I asked wouldn't a place with bad Feng Shui be better than being out on the street with two teenage girls? The Divine had other ideas. I was not meant to live in a low rent apartment with a doorway in the public view and under a stairway. To do the work I do, I needed privacy and peace and to be out in nature so that my daughter and I could heal. The Divine knew better than I did what I needed.

I did not have the money for a first and last months' rent  in order to move to another apartment that was more affordable. So we slid into a month-to-month term as our lease ended July 30th. I did not realize at first how profoundly impacted I was by Rich's departure. I seemed frozen, unable to make good choices. By the end of August without child support, I was unable to pay the $2,400 fee the apartment was attempting to charge me. At the suggestion of a friend from Face Book, I opened a GoFundMe account and miraculously raised $1,800 in one day. I was grateful for the assistance and outpouring of love. Unfortunately, it was not enough to pay the back rent and move into another place.

In August, Tera's case manager contacted me. She told me that Tera's parents did not want to pay me child support, and therefore would be taking her back. I was devastated. I could not tell Tera that her greatest fears were materializing. She had a vision of the police coming for her and taking her away. If I told her the latest devlopment she would run away. Ariel was beside herself. She and I both knew that neither parent was a good choice. We were both very concerned for Tera's emotional state and well-being. The first two weeks Tera stayed with us she barely got out of bed.

I negotiated with Tera's father to come alone, without his female sidekick. She had left three scathing messages on my voice mail and I did not want her in my home. I sat on the couch waiting. In an instant I had a vision of police coming to my door. A loud knock jarred my thoughts. Two police men stood and asked me to come outside and leave the door opened. They angrily told me that I was holding a runaway against her parent's wishes. After neglecting his adopted daughter for two months this "father" was attempting to say that I was doing something wrong. It was so unnecessary and was upsetting to Ariel and Tera to have the police come in. They spent two hours urging Tera to leave with her father or he would get a court order. She looked across the room to me for help. I was in a difficult place. I encouraged her to go, saying I did not have a legal right to keep her. One policeman stood in Ariel's doorway while Ariel helped Tera who was sobbing, pack up all the clothing I had bought her. They ushered her out the door where her father's car and now step-mother waited. Her father put her on a plane that day for New Mexico to live with her mother. Tera hated New Mexico. She had been raped there. She did not feel safe. Her mother did not protect or advocate for her. She did not want to go. Ariel and I simultaneously burst into tears and hugged each other as Tera was escorted out of our apartment by the police. Her father never thanked me for taking care of Tera. Nor did he offer to repay me for the food or clothes I bought her. I felt as if I had betrayed her also.


Prayers Are Answered
 I looked for and received legal assistance. The attorney that represented me was kind, compassionate and thorough. He negotiated a deal for me without an eviction on my record. I breathed a sigh of relief. Help comes in all sorts of ways. We have to be awake enough to notice when it happens.  I had never experienced an eviction before. I had lost a house to foreclosure with Rich, clothing, furniture, animals and heirlooms. Losing a home or apartment was so earth-shattering because of Ariel, that I allowed my stress to spill over onto those who lived with me. I could endure anything, but to have my daughter go through this after losing her father was too much.

I was a do-gooder who gave a homeless guy a place to stay on the coldest nights. I allowed him to spend Christmas with us, out of the cold. I  helped my son and his girlfriend; staying with us 6 times in less than 3 years, and taken in a 16-year old homeless girl. I clothed and fed her without help from either of her parents for almost two months. Ariel too gave self-lessly. While working at a local coffee shop, she spent her own money on make-up and bus fare for Tera. We were doing good things for others. It felt as if we were being ejected from Boulder and I did not know why. Perhaps our work here was complete.
Mt. Sanitas trail where I walked Karma daily

I was grateful that I had a part-time job working in a dress shop in Boulder. The hours were meager and so was the pay. With the economy many were doing jobs that they were over qualified for. I was lucky to have it and it helped some. I had applied for over 300 different positions and only gotten two interviews. My age seemed to be an issue. With so many college age kids, employers clearly could save money hiring younger people. I understood that. I also knew that if I was supposed to have a full time job, I would have one.
Karma at Boulder Reservoir, July 2012
FINDING PEACE IN THE MIDST OF CHAOS
While Adam and Klarissa lived with us, I found it difficult to do readings and write. We were living in a 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment with 5 people, 4 cats and one dog. There was barely room to walk between furniture and clothing stacked up and Adam's paintings everywhere. I needed peace and quiet. The only place I got it was on Flagstaff Mountain and walking our dog Karma. I spent half of each day taking Karma to the reservoir. Swimming with her every morning in the summer. It soothed my soul. The transition of two of my dear friends and fellow light workers, Joanne Butler and Diana Davis within one month of each other on the heels of Rich's death was too much. There was so much death around me. I knew that order comes after chaos. We certainly had our share. We needed peace and Zen.
Boulder Reservoir, July 2012

Unable to figure things out in my head, I was guided by the events in my outside world. I began frantically looking for apartments to rent. Rent in Boulder is outrageous. Everyone charges a pet deposit and monthly pet rent. Many had a limit of one cat and one dog. Our animals were costing us a lot. I wondered how I could part with them to make this work. After everything Ariel had been through I could not.

THE DIVINE HAS A PLAN

My friend Leslie suggested her neighbor, Bobbie (name changed) of Hidden Boulder Rentals. She was a short, shrewd business woman with more than 9 rental properties in Boulder and a hud home in Greeley, Colorado.  She  had a 3 bedroom, 2 bath property up Canyon Boulevard overlooking Boulder Creek. It was one of 6 cottage type homes in a secluded enclave. The road was completely private and off the beaten path. It backed up against a mountain, with the sound of rushing water out every window. The Boulder Creek area was a home for black bears, mountain lions and foxes. Perfect for a recluse and her daughter. I needed quiet seclusion to be able to write. It was called Silver Spruce and sounded lovely. I knew it was further out of town. No stranger to being off the beaten path, my guidance was that it was beneficial in some way, and made an appointment to look at it. I knew I was not to focus on the cost. I trusted that The Divine would provide. Other doors had closed, I was being guided by the outside circumstances and my inner guidance.

BEING OPEN TO RECEIVE

Bobbie and I had a long phone conversation. She told me she would work with me and could take $1,800 a month. When she heard that my apartment rent was $2,400 she immediately raised her price to match that of my apartment. It had been difficult for me to stand up for myself in the past. Many changes had occurred in my life and I pushed beyond my limiting beliefs. I told her that it did not feel comfortable to me, and I could not pay what she was asking. I told her I could not do business with her, she backed down. When I heard the rent was originally $2,200 I wondered, "How on earth can this work?" Realizing that the Universe loves questions and rushes in to answer them, next thing I knew I had government assistance for three months for our rent at $980 per month and food stamps till January 2013. I had never gotten government assistance in the United States. I resisted asking for help. When I asked, I was overwhelmed with it. Had Tera not been with us, none of the assistance would have happened. I knew there was a reason for everything. My heart opened with a surge. Receiving was foreign to me. I was learning how.



Overlooking the city of Boulder from Flagstaff Mountain
Two weeks passed. Out of the blue Bobbie called me asking if I had found a place to live. I told her I had not. I had less than 3 days to find a place and move out of the apartment. Meditating every day helped me to relieve my stress and stay centered in the face of all the chaos. I tried my best to stay out of fear. The apartment she was offering was the upstairs of a 3 bedroom home. It was beautifully finished inside. She had divided the house into two separate apartments. The lower level was rented by a professor of English at Colorado University. Bobbie made a deal with me, if she did not rent the upstairs of the house, I could have it for half price. But only for one month. I agreed. The catch was she would not be able to let me know until the day I had to be out of the apartment at 10:30 AM.

$2,400 month-to-month apartment - who could pay this?
I prayed every day for help and a solution. I had to ask Adam and Klarissa to move out so that Ariel and I could pack. They were very angry with me. It was difficult for me to do this even though I knew it would empower Adam and Klarissa over time. Saying no to those I loved had been a lifelong issue. I was changing my energy and the course of my future. Choosing differently made a huge impact on the course of my life. I knew good choices were rewarded by The Universe. Ariel asked me if I would be okay with Adam being angry with me for months, because that was how long it would take for him to get over this. I said I would have to be.

Ariel and I worked until we felt sick. Packing is always awful. Under these circumstances, it was 10 times worse. We had no idea where we would live. I made light of the fact as I dropped Ariel off on moving day not knowing where we were going and staying in faith and trust. I stressed what fun it was to not know what the outcome would be. I told her I would surprise her. Ariel left our Honda feeling very stressed. It would be a difficult day for her at school. Though I had faith that my prayers would be answered and we would have a place to move to that day.

The movers came and had everything on the truck in just over an hour. They arrived at 8:00. I continued to feel that all would be well. I knew it would work out. I knew we were supported by The Universe and felt certain that we would be moving into Silver Spruce. We went to the storage unit I had rented and carefully stacked half of our belongings in it. The movers looked at me and said, "If you don't have a place we will just have to unload your belongings in the driveway." "I know", I said. I got slightly turned around leaving the storage unit which interestingly consumed more time. The movers were following behind. It was 10:15 and Bobbie would not be calling me until 10:30. I drove as slowly as I could attempting to delay our arrival at Silver Spruce. Finally, my cell phone rang. The women Bobbie showed the place to were not ready to move in this month. I exhaled deeply. Roberta asked, "Do you have a place to go?" I replied, "No I don't." She gruffly said, "It feels as if you are taking a lot for granted." I quickly corrected her, "This is all about Trust, Bobbie. I would not take you for granted." She asked me where I was and I told her 5 minutes from Silver Spruce. She told me she had never experienced anything like this before, but that she felt she needed to help me. She was not sure why. She said I was an amazing woman and was very interested in getting to know me better. She told me she left a key under the mat, just in case and we could have the house immediately.



Boulder Creek Waterfall

As I pressed the end button on my cell phone I shrieked "THANK YOU DIVINE! THANK YOU THANK YOU!" I continued saying prayers of Gratitude long after I parked my car in front of our new home. Within 30 minutes the truck was unloaded and I gleefully unpacked all of our boxes setting up closets and kitchen cupboards within hours of arriving. I was ecstatic. I was immensely grateful. I continued in this elevated state for the rest of the day.

Lydia on our front porch over looking Boulder Creek
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes." -Marcel Proust 

Ariel called me at the end of the school day. "Do we have a place to live?" I told her in my happiest voice, "YES!" "Thank God!" she said. I had her room and bathroom all set up. Her bed was made and towels hung. She was grateful. So were the cats and dog. The house was very Zen. It felt good, quiet and safe. Then we found out we had to be watchful of bears and mountain lions at night. The cats would have to stay indoors. It was a small price to pay. I went back to the apartment later that night to clean and get the rest of our belongings. I had blisters on both of my feet. My body was exhausted and my back ached. I was so relieved to have everything done. I fell into bed in our new temporary home and slept until 6:00 the next morning. How was I going to do this again in another month?

Animals in the wild were coming to me, deer, foxes and elk were showing up giving me messages

Boulder Canyon was a gorgeous place to hike with Karma
Betasso Preserve 780 acres of pristine mountain trails
We loved our Zen home. We were so far up the canyon that there was no cell service. It was quiet, peaceful and healing for us both. Within two weeks we began to consider all different ways we could stay longer. We even considered sharing the house with another woman and her son. That became problematic since Ariel and I would have to share a room. Bobbie tried to hook us up with other single women to see if she could find the right match as well. At the end of September, it was obvious we did not have the energy nor desire to move and asked Bobbie for an additional month. She agreed. We signed an addendum to our lease and shortly afterward I travelled to North Dakota to pick up Ariel's father's truck and belongings.

To say that Ariel is a very sensitive young lady would be an understatement. She was born an Indigo or Crystal Child. Awakened since birth, she has special abilities and insight beyond her years. She was born with access to Cosmic Wisdom. As I traveled by bus from Billings, Montana to Williston, North Dakota, while Ariel was at school.
Driving back from Williston, N. Dakota



The Black Hills, Dakotas

I rode through the countryside by bus, viewing the oil fields. I began to feel emotion thinking of how Rich was not physically in Ariel's life any longer. He would not attend her graduation, or give her away at her wedding. I felt deep sadness for both of them. Ariel could feel what I was experiencing and began to cry while taking a test at school. She expressed to me that she had a Tsunami in her heart chakra. It was causing her physical pain because she could not cry. Experiencing my sadness opened Ariel up to release her pain. Once the Tsunami began, it would not stop. Ariel cried for 6 hours straight while I was in North Dakota. The rush of emotion was too much for her and her immune system gave out. When I returned to Colorado with Rich's truck, Ariel was so sick she could barely lift her head from her pillow. After a high fever she was left with blisters and sores all over her lips, mouth and tongue. For over a week she was in too much pain to eat. Ariel lost 15 pounds before she began to recover. I had to go to work, since I had just missed several days going to North Dakota. I was so concerned for her well-being that I had to have a kind neighbor and fellow lightworker check on Ariel during the day when I went to work. Karma was very protective of her and did not want to let Lebyana in when she stopped by.
Homecoming 2012
Ariel found many distractions to squelch her grief. Tera had been a major one. Ariel met and fallen for a young man, named Luke in August. Soon after they met Luke and his family moved to Rosamond, California their former home. Luke's mother had a towing business in Boulder Valley and a metaphysical shop in Estes Park where they had lived. She was also a hypnotherapist. We had a lot in common. Good to his word, Luke returned to take Ariel to the Homecoming dance at Boulder High School. Ariel had been sick for over two weeks. She was weak and depressed. She found the day-to-day high school routine too much while grieving for her father. People did not understand why she was crying during the school day and asked too many questions. We found a better solution and enrolled Ariel in an on-line school.
While Luke was in town we visited Estes Park and witnessed the running of the bulls. Hundreds of Elk walked the golf courses and streets while in rut.

Our view from our front porch in Silver Spruce, Colorado 10/2012
My vision from 2009 of homeschooling Ariel was coming true. Ariel never thought she would leave her Beloved Boulder High. Although her counselors and teachers were wonderful, the grief she experienced was too intense to be able to spend all day in a classroom. The three month window of grief we had been warned about by counselors was true. Grief is different for everyone. My daughter had begun to experience it intensely. With Ariel no longer in a physical school, we had options we did not previously have. After several workshops fell flat for me in the Boulder area, I began to check out the resources Luke's mother gave me. Housing in Rosamond was half that of Boulder. She told me that was because no one wants to live in the desert.

Bobbie told me she could not continue to get half the rent from me. After two months she wanted to get her full rent for the month of November. I knew this was an opportunity for her to burn some long-standing karma. However, it was not for me to teach her anything. I still had another two months of Colorado rental assistance, but Bobbie would not have it. We had to move somewhere else. Boulder was not in the cards, at least for now. Ariel and I both checked the energy of Georgia, Canada and California. We both got a high five on California. I would be able to grow my client base, and teach workshops there. We both knew we had to move to the desert.

You think you are going somewhere for one reason, when it really is a totally different reason!
Boulder was a stopping place for us. The first three mornings I woke up in our apartment in Boulder I was told, "This is temporary." "This is temporary." "This is temporary." We moved to Boulder so that Ariel would have those last months with Rich.

We both found California to be a positive change from where we were. I loved the beauty and environment of Boulder. There is a consciousness of green living and health. People are fit and outdoors all year round. It is a mecca for healers, astrologers teachers and readers. Yet everyone is saturated and has been to every workshop imaginable, worn the t-shirt and given them to Goodwill. Even famous people's workshops were poorly attended. I asked for guidance. Was it time to move? If so where did we need to go? The answer came as swiftly as it was asked. I had a vision that was profound. I cannot mention it here. For the privacy of those concerned. Suffice it to say, Luke would need assistance when it happened. Sometimes the gift of sight reveals sadness and pain. Ariel and I both got the same information. I had accurately predicted the death of 5 people in 2012. I knew my information was accurate. We needed to be in California for Luke to support him through the next six months. When you follow Divine Guidance, the Universe supports you. I knew we would be supported. Like Moses we would be purified in the desert.

There were other reasons for a long distance move from Boulder. I had many visions of living in California. I felt that we were moving to California earlier when given the guidance to move to Boulder. Five years ago I dreamt of cooking breakfast for my whole family on a ranch in California. I can remember the details of the tile on the backsplash in the kitchen to this day. Being further away from family members would give them space to succeed and stand on their own. It was empowering for us all. Roberta asked us to be out before the end of October, even though our rent was paid until the end of the month. I could feel a big snow coming. Ariel and I both received the same dates. We needed to be on the road by October 22nd.

Boulder Canyon

Betasso Preserve a 780 acre open space with trails and wildlife

I enjoyed the walking trails and open spaces around Boulder Canyon. Taking Karma for long walks by Boulder Creek and Betasso Preserve was healing for me. I got visions on top of the mountains. I was purified in the canyon. The desert would further purify my spirit. I talked to my guides and told them I would miss the mountains. They assured me we would be surrounded by them in California. They never steer me wrong.

Whenever I am in a place I do whatever I can to enjoy the space around me. I revel and bloom where I am planted. I meditated Ascended and prayed daily. I continued to do readings and the Celebrations Metaphysical Fair in Colorado Springs. Participating in a community event for their 100th fair. I seemed to do better in areas away from Boulder. My questions were being answered by outside circumstances. Roberta on the other hand would find her wishes unfulfilled. She would be unable to find the right tenant for Silver Spruce after asking us to leave. The house remained unrented through the winter months as Ariel predicted.

It took 2 days to pack and load the trailer without an inch to spare

My friend Leslie showed up at the perfect time to help us pack
We did not have much in the way of furniture. What astounded me what how much STUFF we had. Books, rocks, clothing seemed to be expanding and growing while we packed the trailer. I wondered if someone was bringing stuff in the back door, while we carried it out the front. I was disgusted with the amount of things we did not need. Over the course of my life I had been materialistic. Now things mattered less to me. People and relationships were where I was placing my energy, focus and attention. I knew we would choose differently from here on.

I had a vision of someone helping us move. I did not ask anyone for help and wondered who it might be. We were selling Rich's mountain bike and snow tires to pay for our trip and our next month's rent. Ariel was urging me to get on the road. I told her we needed to sell Rich's things before we could leave. I kept lowering the price of the bike to sell it and finally had to ask my friend Leslie if I could store the snow tires at her home till they sold. As soon as I moved them to her house, I received a phone call from my Craigslist ad. Within minutes we reached a deal and the tires sold. Leslie brought me the money that day and stayed to help us finish packing and load the trailer. Without her assistance I don't know how we would have completed all we had to do. We left the house pristine and empty. Cleaner than when we found it.

After the transition of Diana, Joanne and Rich, I sorted through Rich's belongings. Material goods did not matter at the end of ones' life. You go naked into the afterlife. None of your material goods traveled with you. It was the love that mattered. Love never died. Joanne and Diana showed up when we were packing to quip and egg me on. I commented to Ariel that I seem to choose the most difficult way to do things. Just then Joanne and Diana showed up energetically. I heard them both say, "It's true!" said Joanne. "You do," said Diana. I could feel their enthusiasm, love and who they were coming through. Although not in physical form, they were ever present in my world.

Rich also showed up giving me messages through the radio. Making my auxiliary player in his truck full of static, so I would have to change to the radio. He thought I was stupid for divorcing him. On the way back from North Dakota he reminded me of the year Ariel was born. I knew it was 1996. When the announcer came on the radio he announced he was playing songs from 1996! The first song played was a song that reminded me of Ariel's birth, Lightning Crashes from the band Live. The next song that played was by Garbage, Stupid Girl. I laughed and told Rich he still had his sense of humor. I knew i had help from the other side. I was grateful. I began to call Diana and Joanne in when I did clearings. My clients witnessed the jump in success and power in these new Angelic Clearings. Later I would be urged to offer Angel Readings and Guide Readings where people would discover which angels were around them and how to connect and develop a personal relationship with them as well as receive guidance from their personal Angelic realm.

Its Always Something, Says Roseanne Rosannadanna

It seemed like Silver Spruce did not want us to leave. It took us two hours to back the truck and trailer out of the windy narrow private driveway. Even with the help of our neighbor it was difficult. At first, I was in my ego telling Ariel he was giving me the wrong advice. After I relaxed, and listened my guides were telling me that a deep pattern with men was being cleared. Since my childhood, I reeled against men telling me what to do. This man never raised his voice, no matter how frustrated he felt. He offered and I accepted his help, and allowed him to get behind the wheel. When it was obvious I had more patience behind the wheel, we got into a groove with him giving directions and me listening. As the rain began to soak him while he helped me, I felt compassion for him. My guides told me that the pattern had cleared.

With rocks on one side and large boulders and flower beds on the other the rain turned to snow as we drove out onto Boulder Canyon. Our neighbor had urged us to open both windows so he could direct my driving. When we got south of Denver, Ariel asked me if I felt our oldest cat Lydia with us. I did not. But we kept going anyway. We stopped at a coffee shop to say good-bye to Adam and Klarissa. Our visit was stilted and strained. When we walked back to the pickup the snow was coming down with a vengeance. We searched everywhere for Lydia. She was no where to be found. We had to return to Silver Spruce in the dark and snow. We were beginning our 1,500 mile drive by backtracking.

Lydia safe and sound
I parked the truck and trailer on the side of the road stepping into a six inch deep puddle. Running up Magnolia Road in the snow I prayed that Lydia would be found easily. I began calling her around the front porch and all around the house. I stopped for a moment and heard a distant wail. It was coming from our next door neighbor's porch. I found Lydia, covered with snow yowling in response to my calls. I scooped her up and hugged her to me. I ran up the sodden roadway clutching her. I could hear Ariel now. "I told you we needed to be on the road on October 22nd." By the time I climbed back into the front seat of Rich's pickup truck, it was dark and the snow was whirling around and forming a fluffy layer on the ground.

I could barely see the road as we headed out of Boulder for the second time that day. Ariel had to watch the lines of the road and guide me while I tried to stay in my lane. As I peered through the snow, Ariel's words rang out, "You're drifting!" It took three hours before we were clear of the blizzard. Seven inches of the fluffy white stuff landed in Boulder Canyon that night and schools were closed the following day. Had we stayed another day the trailer would have been stuck in seven inches of snow. With the U-haul meter ticking daily, we were very grateful to get out when we did.

My angels worked overtime on our trip. We were both exhausted when we finally got on the road. After two days of packing and loading, falling asleep at the wheel was commonplace for me. I always did a little blessing on my vehicle before a long trip, calling in Archangel Michael and asking him to be all around us while we traveled. There were many times I began to cross the lines into adjacent lanes, falling asleep at the wheel. I knew I was protected and safe. I had faith and trust.

Cindy Bentley's lovely home in Santa Fe
We stopped in Santa Fe and Albuquerque visiting my friend Cindy Bentley and Ariel's dear friend Terra along the way. It delayed us but both were welcome stops.

Cindy Bentley, Lydia and Jennifer in Santa Fe
Tera and Ariel in Albuquerque, NM
For some reason we ended up driving at night. We stopped, resting and showering at Cindy's enjoying her energy and home. She even let Lydia and Karma join us. We were on the road after visiting with Cindy when Ariel received a text from Tera. How could we drive through and not stop? The girls had a short visit and we were back on the road. We heard Tera crying as we got back into the truck.


We had enough money for gas and first and last months' rent. We opted to reserve our cash by sleeping on off-ramps on the side of the highway. Protected and safe, we were in California on the third day. We spent our first night at a Motel 6 in Mojave. I felt confident we could have an apartment in Lancaster the first day. When God says DESERT! He/she means DESERT! Lancaster apparently was too far from Luke's family. Our home was to be in Rosamond, in the heart of the Mojave. 188 miles from Los Angeles we could be at the beach in an hour and a half on a good day. After all, when you come to think of it, what is a desert, but an enormous beach!
Venice Beach, November 11, 2012

We stayed with Luke's family adding 3 more cats and one dog to their large menagerie of 3 dogs and 2 cats. They gave us the shirts off their backs when they were not wearing shirts. I learned the true meaning of giving while staying with them. They fed us, and after the first few days of me dragging the U-haul trailer behind the truck, drove us around to find our new home. I had readings for several clients immediately upon our arrival in California. This I knew was a good sign. The Universe was supporting our wise choices. 

When faced with a choice of a large all electric home or a tiny gas/electric one in the middle of Rosamond, I chose wisely. Not quite as pretty as I would have liked, it was affordable. I kept hearing my guides say "ADEQUATE!" It was certainly adequate. 
Our adequate home
What Can You Learn To Do Without?

Knowing that extravagance had been in my past. I liked beauty. I had lived in and enjoyed large gorgeous homes with beautiful landscaping. I was very careful and conscious about choosing wisely. Although not the gorgeous beauty we have once lived in, the house we picked was clean, and totally remodeled on the inside. We moved in without a refrigerator, washer or dryer. These luxuries do not come with rentals in California.
Sunset in the Mojave desert, Joshua trees against the sky

The best feature was the brand new granite countertops in the kitchen, brand new stainless steel sink with gooseneck faucet, and beautifully tiled bathroom. The swamp cooler on the roof promised low energy bills in the high desert heat during the summer. Our landlord was Hispanic and handy. He had done the remodeling himself. We had lots to talk about and he was pleased I had landscaping experience under my belt. The 12x16 patch of beautiful green sod in the front yard was the only landscaping. The sod was kept alive with an underground sprinkler system and he paid for the water.

What we did not know was that the gas had not been turned on. Southern California Gas had no installation appointments for over two weeks. Our water heater was installed two days after moving in. The hot water and heat did not arrive until two weeks later. Ariel and I felt like we had gone back in time. We bathed in cold water or had to heat it up with a kettle. Our cooktop was also gas, which meant if we could not bake it, we didn't eat it. Our toaster oven got a workout those first two weeks. When our gas was connected on November 13th we both celebrated with hot showers and gratefully turned on our heat. Hot water is something I will not take for granted again.

Over time we will afford a refrigerator and a washer and dryer. For now, we are being careful. I am grateful to be safe and have a roof over our heads.

Boulder and Back AGAIN!

The Wednesday after Thanksgiving I flew to back Boulder to pick up my Honda. Gas prices in California are higher than anywhere in the country, which makes driving a V-8 pick up truck expensive.


Venice Beach, November 2012
When you work with The Divine and not against you are supported. I had several readings and energy clearings during my 3 days in  Boulder. Those wonderful clients helped me pay for my drive back to California. It was wonderful to visit with Adam and Leslie. I am immensely grateful to my Angels for seeing me home safe and sound. For now my feet are firmly planted in California. It has been a very interesting year of challenges, chaos and tremendous growth.


Robot house on Venice Beach
Muscle Beach where Hulk Hogan is often seen

The Mojave is the biggest beach ever!
With hundreds of miles of sandy roads, it is a safe place for Ariel to learn to drive. We have spent many afternoons traversing the desert with Ariel gaining confidence behind the wheel. Rich would be proud. She has gotten to be a good driver.



Ariel driving in the Mojave desert. Miles and miles of sandy roads.  11/2012


Jennifer is currently working on her 2nd book. 101 Ways To Love Yourself Fearlessly! and is now pre-selling. The book details Jennifer's experiences as a Medium and Channel shedding light on what happens in the afterlife and helping people deal with the loss of their loved ones.
 Angels On The Highway a third book is also in the works.


STATISTICS

TRIP MILEAGE 2011
Alpharetta, Georgia to Boulder via Santa Fe: 1,854.05 miles            28 Hours

TRIP MILEAGE 2012 
Boulder to Georgia and back to Boulder:              2,837.31 miles            46 Hours
June 2012 for workshops
and visit son David and Ashley

Boulder to Chicago to Toronto                              3,872.17 miles           65 Hours
Chicago and back to Boulder

N. Dakota to Boulder  September 17                          701.02 miles         13 Hours

Boulder to Rosamond October 23, 2012                  1,482.87 miles         23 Hours
avoiding the continental divide

Boulder to Rosamond shortest route Dec. 1                 1039.03                16 Hours

TOTAL MILES                                                      11,786.45              191 Hours


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