Why You Shouldn't Do Cartwheels To Keep Someone

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

In my love and happiness coaching, I see all kinds of behavior where women will do anything to try and keep a guy that is clearly not worthy and often not interested. I have done it in the past myself. When we attempt to manipulate, change, and hang onto someone by changing who we are or explaining bad behavior away there is no possible way this relationship can work. 

Attempting to hang onto someone who is walking away makes you needy, clingy and very unattractive.  Confidence is infinitely more attractive to a partner than neediness. A relationship will never work if you have the attitude that you will do whatever it takes to change yourself to keep another person. Being inauthentic will make you very unhappy and will destroy the relationship.

Looking For Love? 

When someone shows you who they are, believe them! ~Maya Angelou

You Might Be Doing Cartwheels To Keep Them If:

1. Thinking that if or when he gets off drugs or alcohol things will be better is putting your happiness on the backburner. You can't make anyone want to give up their addiction. You may be addicted to love. 
2. You think your love will cure whatever is ailing the other; it never will. 
3. Explaining away bad behavior away is disrespectful to yourself. Love yourself enough to let someone who treats you badly go. 
4. You wish for things to be different. If you have thoughts like, "if only.....  he would......" let him go. (This is true unless you have extremely high expectations of your relationship and partner.) Perfectionistic people tend to expect their partner to be perfect and no one is. We all have issues and faults. No relationship will ever be totally free of conflict. We are individuals with our own personalities and ways of doing things. No two people will be exactly the same. We have to allow each other to be true to ourselves.
5. You don't talk about what is bothering you. If you allow someone to treat you like a doormat walk all over your feelings, expect you to do everything to keep the relationship working without communicating your needs means you are doing cartwheels to keep them. Work on your self-esteem so that you stop allowing others to mistreat you. Until you do work on yourself you will continue to attract bad behavior because you allow yourself to be mistreated.
6. You are a people pleaser. When you turn yourself inside out doing cartwheels to please someone else you will be unhappy with the outcome. You put your personal needs ahead of the relationship and the other person, which subjugates your happiness. 
7. Expect the other person to make you happy. Another person can't fill the void within you. Looking for someone else to make you happy places too much responsibility on the other person and is an impossible no-win situation. 

I Want To Know What Love Is

If your partner has been disrespectful, hurtful, cheated, lied or just become indifferent to you and who you are, let him go. If they have an anger issue, addictions or are disrespectful to you, it is time to get some help. Self-love and self-respect are imperative for a healthy, balanced and happy relationship.  

Get your FREE 30-minute session with Jennifer to find out if her work is a good fit for you. Book your session with Jennifer right now and become happy with yourself and your life so you can attract a healthy high-quality relationship instead of someone who mistreats you.

Jennifer isn't just a coach. She is a multi-faceted powerful healer and vibrational light worker that clears past patterns of negativity, trauma, and abuse so that you can feel comfortable in your own skin, anxiety-free with a clarity and peaceful inner being so you can be happy with you. When you are happy with you everything in your life becomes one of ease and Grace.

 Jennifer is the author of three books, the latest is:

Happy Here, Happy Anywhere:

The Step-By-Step Guide To Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without a Perscription!

Respect: The Greatest Addition To Your Sex Life

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

When someone disrespects us, we often feel angry. Our boundaries have been crossed when we are disrespected. When we lack self-respect, we might not notice disrespect. This article will help you raise awareness and give you several helpful ways to shift your energy.

What is disrespect? Oxford dictionary defines disrespect as follows:

disrespect

lack of respect or courtesy:

"growing disrespect for the rule of law"

synonyms: contempt · lack of respect · scorn · 

· disdain · disregard

VERB informal NORTH AMERICAN

show a lack of respect for; insult:

"a young brave who disrespects his elders"

Interestingly, Latin people have respect by the boatload, which is why their sex lives are more fulfilling than the rest of the world. Having sex with someone who doesn't respect you could lead to abuse, lack of regard for your feelings or even pleasure. 

Americans seem to have lost regard for one another. Men walking into the gym don't hold the door for women who enter after them. They are thinking only of themselves. Why? Kids are being taught to think only of themselves from a very early age, by catering to their every whim. We have a new generation of entitled young people who expect everything, but give nothing in return. 

Respect has been instilled in the Latin people for generations. Kids in the United States have little respect for their elders, parents and even teachers. Respect is taught. If children are not taught to respect themselves and others, they won't. It is not innate. 

Losing Self-Respect

If our boundaries are crossed early due to abuse or sexual trauma, we may not have any self-respect. What is especially troubling is that we often have no idea we lack selfrespect, which was the case for me. My third husband, stated, "If you don't respect yourself, how can I respect you?" This was a big eye-opener for me. Through sexual trauma, I had my boundaries crossed repeatedly. How can you have self-respect when it has been destroyed? It took me thirty years of recovery to respect myself and develop healthy boundaries. 

Becoming Self-Aware

There are many ways that we are disrespected and don't even notice. I have listed several for you to trigger awarenes.

1. People make fun of you or make belittling remarks about you.
2. You might find others are sarcastic towards you.
3. Your animals climb all over you and don't listen to you.
4. Your kids don't do as you ask.
5. Your partner doesn't respect your boundaries.
6. People are rude to you.
7. You feel invisible.
8. You are being emotionally abused.
9. Others speak to you with scorn.

Respect has to come from you first. Building self-respect comes from establishing healthy boundaries. There are more subtle signs of disrespect in the world. You may find others cut you off on the road. When trying to ease into traffic no one allow you in.

Building Self-Respect

1. Know what you want and don't want.
2. Express your opinions
3. Don't feel you have to do something because everyone else is doing it.
4. Make it clear to others what you want, or don't want.
5. Make it clear to others what is unacceptable behavior
6. Stop doing things you don't want to do just to please everyone else.
7. Don't feel pressure to do something because someone is manipulating you
8. Be respectful of others.
9. Don't belittle others or put others down.
10. Don't use sarcasm to make a point.
11. Be respectful and courteous of others.
12. Make conscious choices that are respectful of yourself.

You will quickly notice that building self-respect is a lot like building healthy boundaries. Often if we don't have self-respect we also lack healthy boundaries. That is a subject for another discussion. 

Trust

Part of developing respect is trust. If you don't live up to your commitments or your partner doesn't you may have difficulty trusting. Trust is a huge part of an intimate sex life. If you can't be trusted in your relationship, intimacy and a regular sex life may continue to allude you. If you want more sex, or more connected sex, this is an issue you want to course correct immediately!

1. Do what you say you will do.
2. Show up on time.
3. Be present. Turn off your cell phone and computer.There is nothing worse than being half there. If you are looking at your cell phone or computer when you are supposed to be with someone you are not present. It is hard to trust someone who isn't WITH YOU FULLY.
4. Be aware of your surroundings and yourself. 

Now, I will turn you over to the Queen of RESPECT, Aretha Franklin.

Have questions about Jennifer's work? Do you want a blog written about your issue?

 Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach. She is working on her third book and a new program you will absolutely LOVE! Listen to Jennifer on Tune In. Or on her provocative show, All You Need Is Love. Jennifer's coaches clients all around the world on Skype or phone. Set up your private sessions here.