|"If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears." -Glenn Clark|
|On top of Flagstaff Mountain, December 1, 2012 Jennifer Elizabeth Masters|
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel..... Maya Angelou
The months following Rich's passing were challenging. His absence challenged me further financially. After Rich's transition, of course all child support stopped. Without it, I could not make it. I had help from a dear family member for months which I was very grateful for. Boulder was expensive and I was not making enough to support us. Our apartment was too expensive for what I was earning. My oldest son, Adam and his girlfriend had moved in to help look after our animals when Ariel and I travelled to Georgia in June. While there I did several workshops and readings which paid for our trip, but not much more.
Adam and Klarissa were with Ariel when she found out about her father. They kept her stable and supported till my return from Toronto. They stayed until the end of August when it was obvious I could not continue to support two additional people. Rich had given me strong guidance about disempowering my children when he was on the earth plane. Now it was increasingly obvious to me that my inability to say, "NO" was causing me problems. I had to choose differently.
Ariel had begged me to let a friend of hers, move in with us, as she had been kicked out by both parents. It was enough that this teen was adopted and knew it, now she was abandoned and rejected by both parents. After saying "NO!" three times, I capitulated. Ariel said she had nowhere else to go. I knew of Tera (name changed) and had observed the way she was left in Boulder to fend for herself o weekend after weekend while her father played around with his latest female companion. He kicked both adopted children out when he wanted more privacy and time with her. Tera was depressed from being abandoned. I felt for her, and gave her space to heal.
I contacted Tera's father immediately to let him know that I had his daughter. I also called child services to let them know I had Tera. It was the right thing to do. Tera's father and his female companion both called and left me messages. Her father said that Tera was not living with me, but with Kaytie. He had inferred he had no what I was talking about. His female companion called to tell me that I had it all wrong and that Fred was a really good man and a great father. It was Tera that was bad. She informed me that I had no idea what I was talking about. Child Protective Services told me they would leave Tera with us, as it was a stable environment. They would seek child support from Tera's parents. They could not shirk their responsibilities just because they wanted to. I mentioned the pending eviction and they put me in touch with several different agencies. One thing led to another. Had it not been for the addition of Tera in our household, I would never have asked for help.
|Tera and Ariel|
I did not have the money for a first and last months' rent in order to move to another apartment that was more affordable. So we slid into a month-to-month term as our lease ended July 30th. I did not realize at first how profoundly impacted I was by Rich's departure. I seemed frozen, unable to make good choices. By the end of August without child support, I was unable to pay the $2,400 fee the apartment was attempting to charge me. At the suggestion of a friend from Face Book, I opened a GoFundMe account and miraculously raised $1,800 in one day. I was grateful for the assistance and outpouring of love. Unfortunately, it was not enough to pay the back rent and move into another place.
In August, Tera's case manager contacted me. She told me that Tera's parents did not want to pay me child support, and therefore would be taking her back. I was devastated. I could not tell Tera that her greatest fears were materializing. She had a vision of the police coming for her and taking her away. If I told her the latest devlopment she would run away. Ariel was beside herself. She and I both knew that neither parent was a good choice. We were both very concerned for Tera's emotional state and well-being. The first two weeks Tera stayed with us she barely got out of bed.
I negotiated with Tera's father to come alone, without his female sidekick. She had left three scathing messages on my voice mail and I did not want her in my home. I sat on the couch waiting. In an instant I had a vision of police coming to my door. A loud knock jarred my thoughts. Two police men stood and asked me to come outside and leave the door opened. They angrily told me that I was holding a runaway against her parent's wishes. After neglecting his adopted daughter for two months this "father" was attempting to say that I was doing something wrong. It was so unnecessary and was upsetting to Ariel and Tera to have the police come in. They spent two hours urging Tera to leave with her father or he would get a court order. She looked across the room to me for help. I was in a difficult place. I encouraged her to go, saying I did not have a legal right to keep her. One policeman stood in Ariel's doorway while Ariel helped Tera who was sobbing, pack up all the clothing I had bought her. They ushered her out the door where her father's car and now step-mother waited. Her father put her on a plane that day for New Mexico to live with her mother. Tera hated New Mexico. She had been raped there. She did not feel safe. Her mother did not protect or advocate for her. She did not want to go. Ariel and I simultaneously burst into tears and hugged each other as Tera was escorted out of our apartment by the police. Her father never thanked me for taking care of Tera. Nor did he offer to repay me for the food or clothes I bought her. I felt as if I had betrayed her also.
Prayers Are Answered
I looked for and received legal assistance. The attorney that represented me was kind, compassionate and thorough. He negotiated a deal for me without an eviction on my record. I breathed a sigh of relief. Help comes in all sorts of ways. We have to be awake enough to notice when it happens. I had never experienced an eviction before. I had lost a house to foreclosure with Rich, clothing, furniture, animals and heirlooms. Losing a home or apartment was so earth-shattering because of Ariel, that I allowed my stress to spill over onto those who lived with me. I could endure anything, but to have my daughter go through this after losing her father was too much.
I was a do-gooder who gave a homeless guy a place to stay on the coldest nights. I allowed him to spend Christmas with us, out of the cold. I helped my son and his girlfriend; staying with us 6 times in less than 3 years, and taken in a 16-year old homeless girl. I clothed and fed her without help from either of her parents for almost two months. Ariel too gave self-lessly. While working at a local coffee shop, she spent her own money on make-up and bus fare for Tera. We were doing good things for others. It felt as if we were being ejected from Boulder and I did not know why. Perhaps our work here was complete.
|Mt. Sanitas trail where I walked Karma daily|
I was grateful that I had a part-time job working in a dress shop in Boulder. The hours were meager and so was the pay. With the economy many were doing jobs that they were over qualified for. I was lucky to have it and it helped some. I had applied for over 300 different positions and only gotten two interviews. My age seemed to be an issue. With so many college age kids, employers clearly could save money hiring younger people. I understood that. I also knew that if I was supposed to have a full time job, I would have one.
|Karma at Boulder Reservoir, July 2012|
While Adam and Klarissa lived with us, I found it difficult to do readings and write. We were living in a 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment with 5 people, 4 cats and one dog. There was barely room to walk between furniture and clothing stacked up and Adam's paintings everywhere. I needed peace and quiet. The only place I got it was on Flagstaff Mountain and walking our dog Karma. I spent half of each day taking Karma to the reservoir. Swimming with her every morning in the summer. It soothed my soul. The transition of two of my dear friends and fellow light workers, Joanne Butler and Diana Davis within one month of each other on the heels of Rich's death was too much. There was so much death around me. I knew that order comes after chaos. We certainly had our share. We needed peace and Zen.
|Boulder Reservoir, July 2012|
Unable to figure things out in my head, I was guided by the events in my outside world. I began frantically looking for apartments to rent. Rent in Boulder is outrageous. Everyone charges a pet deposit and monthly pet rent. Many had a limit of one cat and one dog. Our animals were costing us a lot. I wondered how I could part with them to make this work. After everything Ariel had been through I could not.
THE DIVINE HAS A PLAN
My friend Leslie suggested her neighbor, Bobbie (name changed) of Hidden Boulder Rentals. She was a short, shrewd business woman with more than 9 rental properties in Boulder and a hud home in Greeley, Colorado. She had a 3 bedroom, 2 bath property up Canyon Boulevard overlooking Boulder Creek. It was one of 6 cottage type homes in a secluded enclave. The road was completely private and off the beaten path. It backed up against a mountain, with the sound of rushing water out every window. The Boulder Creek area was a home for black bears, mountain lions and foxes. Perfect for a recluse and her daughter. I needed quiet seclusion to be able to write. It was called Silver Spruce and sounded lovely. I knew it was further out of town. No stranger to being off the beaten path, my guidance was that it was beneficial in some way, and made an appointment to look at it. I knew I was not to focus on the cost. I trusted that The Divine would provide. Other doors had closed, I was being guided by the outside circumstances and my inner guidance.
BEING OPEN TO RECEIVE
Bobbie and I had a long phone conversation. She told me she would work with me and could take $1,800 a month. When she heard that my apartment rent was $2,400 she immediately raised her price to match that of my apartment. It had been difficult for me to stand up for myself in the past. Many changes had occurred in my life and I pushed beyond my limiting beliefs. I told her that it did not feel comfortable to me, and I could not pay what she was asking. I told her I could not do business with her, she backed down. When I heard the rent was originally $2,200 I wondered, "How on earth can this work?" Realizing that the Universe loves questions and rushes in to answer them, next thing I knew I had government assistance for three months for our rent at $980 per month and food stamps till January 2013. I had never gotten government assistance in the United States. I resisted asking for help. When I asked, I was overwhelmed with it. Had Tera not been with us, none of the assistance would have happened. I knew there was a reason for everything. My heart opened with a surge. Receiving was foreign to me. I was learning how.
|Overlooking the city of Boulder from Flagstaff Mountain|
|$2,400 month-to-month apartment - who could pay this?|
Ariel and I worked until we felt sick. Packing is always awful. Under these circumstances, it was 10 times worse. We had no idea where we would live. I made light of the fact as I dropped Ariel off on moving day not knowing where we were going and staying in faith and trust. I stressed what fun it was to not know what the outcome would be. I told her I would surprise her. Ariel left our Honda feeling very stressed. It would be a difficult day for her at school. Though I had faith that my prayers would be answered and we would have a place to move to that day.
The movers came and had everything on the truck in just over an hour. They arrived at 8:00. I continued to feel that all would be well. I knew it would work out. I knew we were supported by The Universe and felt certain that we would be moving into Silver Spruce. We went to the storage unit I had rented and carefully stacked half of our belongings in it. The movers looked at me and said, "If you don't have a place we will just have to unload your belongings in the driveway." "I know", I said. I got slightly turned around leaving the storage unit which interestingly consumed more time. The movers were following behind. It was 10:15 and Bobbie would not be calling me until 10:30. I drove as slowly as I could attempting to delay our arrival at Silver Spruce. Finally, my cell phone rang. The women Bobbie showed the place to were not ready to move in this month. I exhaled deeply. Roberta asked, "Do you have a place to go?" I replied, "No I don't." She gruffly said, "It feels as if you are taking a lot for granted." I quickly corrected her, "This is all about Trust, Bobbie. I would not take you for granted." She asked me where I was and I told her 5 minutes from Silver Spruce. She told me she had never experienced anything like this before, but that she felt she needed to help me. She was not sure why. She said I was an amazing woman and was very interested in getting to know me better. She told me she left a key under the mat, just in case and we could have the house immediately.
|Boulder Creek Waterfall|
|Lydia on our front porch over looking Boulder Creek|
Ariel called me at the end of the school day. "Do we have a place to live?" I told her in my happiest voice, "YES!" "Thank God!" she said. I had her room and bathroom all set up. Her bed was made and towels hung. She was grateful. So were the cats and dog. The house was very Zen. It felt good, quiet and safe. Then we found out we had to be watchful of bears and mountain lions at night. The cats would have to stay indoors. It was a small price to pay. I went back to the apartment later that night to clean and get the rest of our belongings. I had blisters on both of my feet. My body was exhausted and my back ached. I was so relieved to have everything done. I fell into bed in our new temporary home and slept until 6:00 the next morning. How was I going to do this again in another month?
|Animals in the wild were coming to me, deer, foxes and elk were showing up giving me messages|
|Boulder Canyon was a gorgeous place to hike with Karma|
|Betasso Preserve 780 acres of pristine mountain trails|
To say that Ariel is a very sensitive young lady would be an understatement. She was born an Indigo or Crystal Child. Awakened since birth, she has special abilities and insight beyond her years. She was born with access to Cosmic Wisdom. As I traveled by bus from Billings, Montana to Williston, North Dakota, while Ariel was at school.
|Driving back from Williston, N. Dakota|
|The Black Hills, Dakotas|
I rode through the countryside by bus, viewing the oil fields. I began to feel emotion thinking of how Rich was not physically in Ariel's life any longer. He would not attend her graduation, or give her away at her wedding. I felt deep sadness for both of them. Ariel could feel what I was experiencing and began to cry while taking a test at school. She expressed to me that she had a Tsunami in her heart chakra. It was causing her physical pain because she could not cry. Experiencing my sadness opened Ariel up to release her pain. Once the Tsunami began, it would not stop. Ariel cried for 6 hours straight while I was in North Dakota. The rush of emotion was too much for her and her immune system gave out. When I returned to Colorado with Rich's truck, Ariel was so sick she could barely lift her head from her pillow. After a high fever she was left with blisters and sores all over her lips, mouth and tongue. For over a week she was in too much pain to eat. Ariel lost 15 pounds before she began to recover. I had to go to work, since I had just missed several days going to North Dakota. I was so concerned for her well-being that I had to have a kind neighbor and fellow lightworker check on Ariel during the day when I went to work. Karma was very protective of her and did not want to let Lebyana in when she stopped by.
|While Luke was in town we visited Estes Park and witnessed the running of the bulls. Hundreds of Elk walked the golf courses and streets while in rut.|
|Our view from our front porch in Silver Spruce, Colorado 10/2012|
Bobbie told me she could not continue to get half the rent from me. After two months she wanted to get her full rent for the month of November. I knew this was an opportunity for her to burn some long-standing karma. However, it was not for me to teach her anything. I still had another two months of Colorado rental assistance, but Bobbie would not have it. We had to move somewhere else. Boulder was not in the cards, at least for now. Ariel and I both checked the energy of Georgia, Canada and California. We both got a high five on California. I would be able to grow my client base, and teach workshops there. We both knew we had to move to the desert.
You think you are going somewhere for one reason, when it really is a totally different reason!
Boulder was a stopping place for us. The first three mornings I woke up in our apartment in Boulder I was told, "This is temporary." "This is temporary." "This is temporary." We moved to Boulder so that Ariel would have those last months with Rich.
We both found California to be a positive change from where we were. I loved the beauty and environment of Boulder. There is a consciousness of green living and health. People are fit and outdoors all year round. It is a mecca for healers, astrologers teachers and readers. Yet everyone is saturated and has been to every workshop imaginable, worn the t-shirt and given them to Goodwill. Even famous people's workshops were poorly attended. I asked for guidance. Was it time to move? If so where did we need to go? The answer came as swiftly as it was asked. I had a vision that was profound. I cannot mention it here. For the privacy of those concerned. Suffice it to say, Luke would need assistance when it happened. Sometimes the gift of sight reveals sadness and pain. Ariel and I both got the same information. I had accurately predicted the death of 5 people in 2012. I knew my information was accurate. We needed to be in California for Luke to support him through the next six months. When you follow Divine Guidance, the Universe supports you. I knew we would be supported. Like Moses we would be purified in the desert.
There were other reasons for a long distance move from Boulder. I had many visions of living in California. I felt that we were moving to California earlier when given the guidance to move to Boulder. Five years ago I dreamt of cooking breakfast for my whole family on a ranch in California. I can remember the details of the tile on the backsplash in the kitchen to this day. Being further away from family members would give them space to succeed and stand on their own. It was empowering for us all. Roberta asked us to be out before the end of October, even though our rent was paid until the end of the month. I could feel a big snow coming. Ariel and I both received the same dates. We needed to be on the road by October 22nd.
|Betasso Preserve a 780 acre open space with trails and wildlife|
I enjoyed the walking trails and open spaces around Boulder Canyon. Taking Karma for long walks by Boulder Creek and Betasso Preserve was healing for me. I got visions on top of the mountains. I was purified in the canyon. The desert would further purify my spirit. I talked to my guides and told them I would miss the mountains. They assured me we would be surrounded by them in California. They never steer me wrong.
Whenever I am in a place I do whatever I can to enjoy the space around me. I revel and bloom where I am planted. I meditated Ascended and prayed daily. I continued to do readings and the Celebrations Metaphysical Fair in Colorado Springs. Participating in a community event for their 100th fair. I seemed to do better in areas away from Boulder. My questions were being answered by outside circumstances. Roberta on the other hand would find her wishes unfulfilled. She would be unable to find the right tenant for Silver Spruce after asking us to leave. The house remained unrented through the winter months as Ariel predicted.
|It took 2 days to pack and load the trailer without an inch to spare|
|My friend Leslie showed up at the perfect time to help us pack|
I had a vision of someone helping us move. I did not ask anyone for help and wondered who it might be. We were selling Rich's mountain bike and snow tires to pay for our trip and our next month's rent. Ariel was urging me to get on the road. I told her we needed to sell Rich's things before we could leave. I kept lowering the price of the bike to sell it and finally had to ask my friend Leslie if I could store the snow tires at her home till they sold. As soon as I moved them to her house, I received a phone call from my Craigslist ad. Within minutes we reached a deal and the tires sold. Leslie brought me the money that day and stayed to help us finish packing and load the trailer. Without her assistance I don't know how we would have completed all we had to do. We left the house pristine and empty. Cleaner than when we found it.
After the transition of Diana, Joanne and Rich, I sorted through Rich's belongings. Material goods did not matter at the end of ones' life. You go naked into the afterlife. None of your material goods traveled with you. It was the love that mattered. Love never died. Joanne and Diana showed up when we were packing to quip and egg me on. I commented to Ariel that I seem to choose the most difficult way to do things. Just then Joanne and Diana showed up energetically. I heard them both say, "It's true!" said Joanne. "You do," said Diana. I could feel their enthusiasm, love and who they were coming through. Although not in physical form, they were ever present in my world.
Rich also showed up giving me messages through the radio. Making my auxiliary player in his truck full of static, so I would have to change to the radio. He thought I was stupid for divorcing him. On the way back from North Dakota he reminded me of the year Ariel was born. I knew it was 1996. When the announcer came on the radio he announced he was playing songs from 1996! The first song played was a song that reminded me of Ariel's birth, Lightning Crashes from the band Live. The next song that played was by Garbage, Stupid Girl. I laughed and told Rich he still had his sense of humor. I knew i had help from the other side. I was grateful. I began to call Diana and Joanne in when I did clearings. My clients witnessed the jump in success and power in these new Angelic Clearings. Later I would be urged to offer Angel Readings and Guide Readings where people would discover which angels were around them and how to connect and develop a personal relationship with them as well as receive guidance from their personal Angelic realm.
It seemed like Silver Spruce did not want us to leave. It took us two hours to back the truck and trailer out of the windy narrow private driveway. Even with the help of our neighbor it was difficult. At first, I was in my ego telling Ariel he was giving me the wrong advice. After I relaxed, and listened my guides were telling me that a deep pattern with men was being cleared. Since my childhood, I reeled against men telling me what to do. This man never raised his voice, no matter how frustrated he felt. He offered and I accepted his help, and allowed him to get behind the wheel. When it was obvious I had more patience behind the wheel, we got into a groove with him giving directions and me listening. As the rain began to soak him while he helped me, I felt compassion for him. My guides told me that the pattern had cleared.
With rocks on one side and large boulders and flower beds on the other the rain turned to snow as we drove out onto Boulder Canyon. Our neighbor had urged us to open both windows so he could direct my driving. When we got south of Denver, Ariel asked me if I felt our oldest cat Lydia with us. I did not. But we kept going anyway. We stopped at a coffee shop to say good-bye to Adam and Klarissa. Our visit was stilted and strained. When we walked back to the pickup the snow was coming down with a vengeance. We searched everywhere for Lydia. She was no where to be found. We had to return to Silver Spruce in the dark and snow. We were beginning our 1,500 mile drive by backtracking.
|Lydia safe and sound|
I could barely see the road as we headed out of Boulder for the second time that day. Ariel had to watch the lines of the road and guide me while I tried to stay in my lane. As I peered through the snow, Ariel's words rang out, "You're drifting!" It took three hours before we were clear of the blizzard. Seven inches of the fluffy white stuff landed in Boulder Canyon that night and schools were closed the following day. Had we stayed another day the trailer would have been stuck in seven inches of snow. With the U-haul meter ticking daily, we were very grateful to get out when we did.
My angels worked overtime on our trip. We were both exhausted when we finally got on the road. After two days of packing and loading, falling asleep at the wheel was commonplace for me. I always did a little blessing on my vehicle before a long trip, calling in Archangel Michael and asking him to be all around us while we traveled. There were many times I began to cross the lines into adjacent lanes, falling asleep at the wheel. I knew I was protected and safe. I had faith and trust.
|Cindy Bentley's lovely home in Santa Fe|
|Cindy Bentley, Lydia and Jennifer in Santa Fe|
|Tera and Ariel in Albuquerque, NM|
|Venice Beach, November 11, 2012|
|Our adequate home|
Knowing that extravagance had been in my past. I liked beauty. I had lived in and enjoyed large gorgeous homes with beautiful landscaping. I was very careful and conscious about choosing wisely. Although not the gorgeous beauty we have once lived in, the house we picked was clean, and totally remodeled on the inside. We moved in without a refrigerator, washer or dryer. These luxuries do not come with rentals in California.
|Sunset in the Mojave desert, Joshua trees against the sky|
The best feature was the brand new granite countertops in the kitchen, brand new stainless steel sink with gooseneck faucet, and beautifully tiled bathroom. The swamp cooler on the roof promised low energy bills in the high desert heat during the summer. Our landlord was Hispanic and handy. He had done the remodeling himself. We had lots to talk about and he was pleased I had landscaping experience under my belt. The 12x16 patch of beautiful green sod in the front yard was the only landscaping. The sod was kept alive with an underground sprinkler system and he paid for the water.
What we did not know was that the gas had not been turned on. Southern California Gas had no installation appointments for over two weeks. Our water heater was installed two days after moving in. The hot water and heat did not arrive until two weeks later. Ariel and I felt like we had gone back in time. We bathed in cold water or had to heat it up with a kettle. Our cooktop was also gas, which meant if we could not bake it, we didn't eat it. Our toaster oven got a workout those first two weeks. When our gas was connected on November 13th we both celebrated with hot showers and gratefully turned on our heat. Hot water is something I will not take for granted again.
Over time we will afford a refrigerator and a washer and dryer. For now, we are being careful. I am grateful to be safe and have a roof over our heads.
Boulder and Back AGAIN!
The Wednesday after Thanksgiving I flew to back Boulder to pick up my Honda. Gas prices in California are higher than anywhere in the country, which makes driving a V-8 pick up truck expensive.
|Venice Beach, November 2012|
|Robot house on Venice Beach|
|Muscle Beach where Hulk Hogan is often seen|
With hundreds of miles of sandy roads, it is a safe place for Ariel to learn to drive. We have spent many afternoons traversing the desert with Ariel gaining confidence behind the wheel. Rich would be proud. She has gotten to be a good driver.
|Ariel driving in the Mojave desert. Miles and miles of sandy roads. 11/2012|
TRIP MILEAGE 2011
Alpharetta, Georgia to Boulder via Santa Fe: 1,854.05 miles 28 Hours
TRIP MILEAGE 2012
Boulder to Georgia and back to Boulder: 2,837.31 miles 46 Hours
June 2012 for workshops
and visit son David and Ashley
Boulder to Chicago to Toronto 3,872.17 miles 65 Hours
Chicago and back to Boulder
N. Dakota to Boulder September 17 701.02 miles 13 Hours
Boulder to Rosamond October 23, 2012 1,482.87 miles 23 Hours
avoiding the continental divide
Boulder to Rosamond shortest route Dec. 1 1039.03 16 Hours
TOTAL MILES 11,786.45 191 Hours
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