The holidays can be a beautiful time to connect with loved ones, share laughter and our presence. To many, the holidays can be extremely stressful - even depressing. The holidays reveal to us what is amiss in our lives, showing us what we need to focus on.
presence. I was not in the present. I tried to make others happy. It was an impossible task, one that I have gratefully let go of. It is not our responsibility to "make" anyone happy. The only one we are truly responsible for is us.
Everything will line up perfectly when knowing and living the truth becomes more important than looking good. ~Alan Cohen
What Is Authenticity, Really?
plane, in a supermarket or in a beauty salon. There is no effort involved remembering what you have been or acted like with whom. The only way you can show up anywhere is by being truly you, rather than a version of what you want to show the world. When we can be vulnerable and real with ourselves and others we become truly present, sharing our presence with the world and those we love.
The authentic self is the soul made visible. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach
How Do We Feel When We Are NOT Authentic?
When we are inauthentic we feel out of sync with our values, preferences and abilities. We might feel uncomfortable in our own skin, because we strive to be something that we are not. The need for everything to be perfect may pervade our lives, which is exhausting. We often try to run away from who we truly are, which leads to avoidance in other areas of our lives. We avoid being vulnerable because we don't want others to see our soft chewy tootsie roll center. When we avoid situations we cannot possibly be present fully. We are not sharing our authentic presence.
3 Steps To Living Authentically with Presence
- Evaluate what you truly care about. What are the most important things in your life? Align yourself with those criteria. Don't allow others to pull you off your center. Sometimes we base our lives and beliefs on what our parents believed. When we really examine these core beliefs, are they truly ours?
- Let go of judgment. Often we judge things that are different than ourselves or that we don't understand. Judgement is a rigid way of thinking. Looking at others and especially ourselves without the magnifying glass of harsh criticism will allow us and others to be human and imperfect. We will stop running away from ourselves and being more present when we become more accepting.
- Pay attention to the way your body feels. When you are in alignment with your core beliefs you can feel it. Your body feels good, comfortable and grounded. Your body will never lie to you. It will however let you know when you are out of alignment. Paying attention to people or events that don't concern you can often cause you to feel stressed, or out of alignment. Notice when you get upset. Are you upset with someone else's actions or your judgment of them? Ask, "is this really my concern? Do I need to take this on?" You have the power to change the way you react to situations and how you feel. How you think about things causes your reactions. Always come back to your inner being. How do I feel? What is making me feel this way? Can I process this differently? How can I change the way I feel about this? How can I go with the flow of life instead of trying to make things happen a certain way.