Turn That No Into A "Hell Yes!"

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

There are many ways to let your partner know you are "in the mood." Sometimes it could be a cute, "Do you wanna fool around?" Over time, the way we ask when we are certain our partner will disavow all knowledge, like in Mission Impossible, we may become like an automaton, rather than getting cute, creative and playful.

When someone demands sex or anything from us for that matter, the chances are we won't want to comply. I know I have a tendency to dig my heels and fingernails into whatever I can grip when I feel I am being coerced. No one wants to be told what to do, especially in a romantic relationship. Guys if you have bought her dinner and expect sex in return, think again! Not every date is sex worthy.

Dating Is A Different Kettle of Fish

Once I had a guy who thought we would have sex on the first day, kindly plug his handy dandy screwdriver into my right passenger tire. When I went out the next morning I could still feel his anger because I wouldn't have sex with him on the first day. He thought his purchase of a meal made sex a given. I don't recommend sex on the first day, getting to know someone and finding out if you have a connection or commonality is preferable. If sex happens on a first date, the likelihood of a lasting relationship is slim to none. 

If seduction and romance have gone by the wayside, perhaps it is time to dust off the chivalry and bring home chocolates or roses. What the heck, bring both! Romance, appreciation and being told that we look and smell amazing can turn a negative situation into a positive one. Following are some creative and fun ways to change the direction of your mounting frustration and have some great sex in the process.

1. Ask your partner if they would like a massage? It is a pretty cold person that can experience a sexy massage without wanting to hold your hard body against theirs. Remember when you are massaging to tease around the genitals, no poking or prodding as that is not fair. Teasing is always a good idea.
2. Kiss! People often forget to kiss. It is almost as if kissing is a bad idea. Why is that? There is nothing like some lip nibbling teasing tongue to turn both of you on. The lips are connected to the genitals, as are the nipples and other erogenous zones. Lips are constructed of the same incredibly excitable tissue that our genitals are. Get creative. Rub noses first. Take your time
   
   before going in for a lip-lock. Breathe your partner in, slowly move towards their lips making eye contact. Use soft lips and gently pull one of her lips into your mouth. Take your time. No rushing allowed. Kissing can turn both of you on to the point that some women can come just by kissing alone. Lucky girl!
3. Take A Shower Together!  I am famous for my body buff in the shower. Use your body to buff your partner's, while all covered with shower gel or soap. Slide your body all around their back, front, legs.
   
   Enjoy the feeling of skin-to-skin contact. Shower play can be incredibly sensual. Best for people who don't care about their hair getting wet.
4. Hold hands when out together. Holding hands releases oxytocin! Holding hands can give your partner a sense of connection and even security. Women need to feel trust and secure outside the bedroom to feel they can open up in the bedroom. 
5. Hug each other during the day! We all need to be hugged. When we are too busy to touch during the day - we can feel disconnected. Touch outside the bedroom is as important as
   touch inside the bedroom. If you don't touch during the day, getting close at night could be a real nightmare. Hug each other before you leave for work. If you both work at home, you can still hug each other from time to time.  When we are sensory deprived, we have a tendency to say no, rather than yes. We have to break through a stony barrier to get to the yes. We each need 12 hugs a day. How deprived are you?
6. Help her / him out. What can you do to make their day less stressful? No matter who is saying no, there are a multitude of reasons why. How can you unburden your partner so that they
   
   can feel free to say, "Yes, I would love to?"
7. Hold your partner close without expecting sex. When we take the pressure away from performance, we are giving our presence without expecting anything in return. There is nothing like being given a full body hug without the expectation of sex, to leave a woman going, "Wow!" Do this a few times and see if she/he doesn't come to you for more than a full body hug.
8. Sext your partner. A sext doesn't have to be a full Monty photo of you. It could be a sexy text, just telling her how beautiful she is and how you can't wait to come home to her tonight. Send her another one later in the day telling her how much you love kissing her, or how great she smells. Complements turn on the brain. Guys and gals, sex begins in the brain, not the genitals! Get creative and think outside the box (literally and figuratively)!

Turn your love life into Mission Incredible, instead of Mission Impossible!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of Orgasm For Life. She is a love and passion coach helping women overcome their love story. Once past patterns and blocked emotions have been cleared, women are able to radiate their true beauty out into the world magnetizing love and all things wonderful to them. Healing your love story will shift the way you feel about yourself, your past and certainly the unlimited potential you possess to find true happiness.

For your DISCOVERY SESSION, E-mail Jennifer here.

5 Ways To Create Fireworks In Your Bedroom

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

If you are feeling that your relationship is too mature for fireworks, think again! Anyone can have fireworks in their bedroom, all you need is a mental shift. Even for those who are post-menopausal, I am here to tell you from experience anything is possible!

I remember a time when I really felt bad about myself AND sex. I had negative sexual programming from my parents. My mother was so afraid I would get pregnant that her most frequent refrain was, all men want you for is sex. I believed her. But was that a bad thing? When we are teenagers, sex is one of our most frequent thoughts. 

When I did have sex before marriage, I felt guilty, shame and afraid. I know I am not alone when it comes up to societal programming. I made up all kinds of stories in my brain about sex being dirty, bad, wrong and a sin. Of course, a lot of these beliefs were taught by my parents, church and even physical education teachers. Our

societal and religious teachings taught us that good girls don't and bad girls do. When we are raised with stories about men only wanting one thing and girls who do certain things are sluts, it can be difficult to do those things and not feel you are one. Even after marriage and children women can feel that they shouldn't be having sex because they are not mothers. Mothers don't have sex, do they? Yes they do!

1. Change Your Mind

Our minds can change over time. As we become more mature, we recognize that much of what we were taught was fear-based and untrue. Remember sex is natural. We were created to be able to express ourselves as sexual beings. Sexual feelings, sexual pleasure, and sexual urges are as natural as breathing. If you don't have any urges at all, there is plenty you can do about it. It has been proven that women who fantasize about sex while having it, are much more likely to orgasm than those who don't. Fantasy deepens your sexual experience. It may be something as simple as imagining someone looking in your window watching you. Or maybe envision you and your partner making love outdoors!

2. Your Heart-Mind Connection

A loving connection with a partner who accepts you as you are deepens our level of excitement as well as experience of pleasure. The more we trust our partner, the better the sexual experience. Trust comes from commitment, mutual respect and honesty. If you aren't honest in your relationship, sex probably will not hit all the

high notes you would like. Letting go and allowing yourself to surrender to the experience without concern for how your face or body looks, making eye contact with your partner connects the two of you, keeping you both present - in the moment. 

The more loving of yourself you are. The more you will enjoy sexual expression. Sex is part of you. Your sexual being is the foundation of you. The better you feel about you, the better sex becomes. Have fun with your partner, sex is play! Get in touch with your inner child, you might even find yourself laughing when you orgasm. How great is that?

3. Stay Present

The brain is complex. It governs your sexual experience. If you have difficulty letting go, keep bringing yourself back to the present. Focus on what you are receiving from your partner. Don't judge what is happening. If your mind wanders, bring it back to the pleasure of the moment. Focus on what your body is feeling. Let go, allow those feelings to build. Relax into the feelings, staying present. Breathe with an open mouth.

4. Breathe

To experience profound pleasure, your body needs oxygen. Many of us hold our breath during sex. This is counter-productive. Open your mouth instead and breath deeply. The oxygen will help in the arousal process. Your body needs oxygen for orgasm to occur.

Remember as above so below. This universal law is also true for your body. If you mouth is clamped shut, so will your body be. Relax your jaw, open your lips and breathe. Your vagina (for women) will relax and be much more likely to do what it needs to and achieve orgasm with your mouth open.

5. Allow Your Fuse To Be Lit!

Many of us are so concerned that our partners have a good time, we forget to focus on ourselves. This can be true for both men and women. Allow yourself to be ignited. If you like ass play, ask for it. If you want your partner to talk to you, tell them! You have to take charge of your own sexual experience. Allowing things to just happen without asking for what you want might mean you don't get what you need to explode like fireworks in the night sky. The more you talk to each other while having sex, the better experience you will both have. A little encouragement here and there is helpful. Let your partner know when they've got the right spot, or motion. Tell them you like what they are doing. "That's it! Don't stop! Ya baby!" will help you get what you need. Before you know it, you'll be popping off like fireworks.

 If you spend all your time getting your partner there and don't ask for pleasure yourself, there is something wrong. Sex is supposed to be a mutual experience. It is not to be one-sided. If it is, you need to re-group and punt. Take the discussion of sex off the playing field. The time to talk about what you each like, want and don't like is outside the bedroom. 

If LIBIDO is an issue for you, do something about it. You don't have to take Cialis, or Viagra to get aroused. For women, there is Irwin Naturals Steel Libido. I used it recently with excellent results. After a long dry spell we might need a little kick. I found with daily

use it works best. By day 5, I felt like a teenager again. For men, I found Cialis does absolutely nothing. Each person is different, however. I would love to hear what works for you. I hope you will join me for my brand new radio show beginning July 8th, on BBM Global. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the self-love guru. She empowers women and men to lovingly accept themselves. As a coach, she intuitively knows what you need at just the perfect time. She is compassionate, direct and has been where you are. Not only is she certified in 6 different modalities, but she has healed herself of insecurity, depression, sexual dysfunction, illness, breast cancer, and auto-immune diseases. She assists people with gender issues, sexual dysfunction and happiness. If you are ready to live your life fully expressed and are tired of living life from a glass half full, give Jennifer a jingle here at her private e-mail. She offers 30 minutes Free for you to discover what can be true for you.

What Is Erotic?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Wikipedia:

Eroticism (from the Greek ἔρως, eros—"desire") is a quality that causes sexual feelings,[1] as well as a philosophical contemplation concerning the aesthetics of sexual desire, sensuality and romantic love. That quality may be found in any form of art, including painting, sculpture, photography, drama, film, music or literature. It may also be found in advertising. The term may also refer to a state of sexual arousal[1] or anticipation of such – an insistent sexual impulse, desire, or pattern of thoughts.


As French novelist Honoré de Balzac stated, eroticism is dependent not just upon an individual's sexual morality, but also the culture and time in which an individual resides.

I have been asked by Eric Jones and WRN radio show to discuss what is considered erotic for Wednesday's show. I began to think about events in my life, visual experiences and art forms. Eroticism varies on personality, upbringing and sensibilities.

http://player.tritondigital.com/16861
 
Subtleties rather than in-your-face pornography is my personal preference. But that is just the point. Each person may find different things erotic. Anticipation is a large part of eroticism. Waiting for what is to come, creates excitement. 

I have begun to write erotica. After hearing so many reports about 50 Shades of Gray and the quality of writing,

(by my mother who is now 92) I felt that a section in my book, Orgasm For Life would help my readers that needed their engines revved up to do so. Stories about lovers anticipating what is to come, can be extremely erotic.

Pornography although titillating for many, is too in my face, for my tastes. There is no relationship or deep connection in porn. Therefore, I find it repulsive and debasing. Respect for women is something our culture needs more of, rather than less. Don't get me started!

I have compiled a list of my suggestions of erotic situations and pleasures. If you are still wondering what erotic really means.The key here is being subtle. Some guys don't know what that means. Shoving someone's head onto your throbbing member is not subtle. Subtle means gentle, a suggestion of possible pleasure at some point in the future, but you don't know when. Anticipation is what excites. Slow, kisses on the back of the neck, like you have all day and the next week too. Take your time, enjoy the moment, rather than being the freight train that is done in two minutes. You might not get a second chance if you are the freight train. Women need slow, then fast, then slow. We need your gentle, slow touch, rather than a hasty finger in and out so you can stuff your half-hard penis inside us. No woman would appreciate that. 

Women are powerful. We don't need you as much as you need us. So take care. Go slow. Act like you like us. Be honest, respectful, and we will return the favor if you please us. Attitude? You betcha! Great sex is not something that is fast and over-and-done-with. Great sex happens when you take your time, romance us, and care about how we feel. To be a great lover you have to be patient, caring, tender as well as strong, and want to please your partner. When you are selfish, ego-filled, you will not listen to our bodies, or pay attention to how we are breathing. All these are signs to how you are pleasuring your partner.They are important. All our senses need to be stimulated, beginning with our minds. Taste, touch, smell, sounds, sights all figure prominently in great sex. Find a way to excite all senses. Here are a few:

1. Slipping naked into silk or satin sheets.
2. Showering with your lover and having them buff you with their body.
3. A beautiful feather stroking you from head to toe, slowly.
4. Having your lover whisper in your ear in the morning what they want to do to you when they come home. Thinking about that whisper and their breath on your ear, all day long. Extremely erotic. 
5. Having your lover wash your hair.
6. Having your lover paint your toenails. Without expecting anything in return.
7. Having your lover give you a long, slow all-over body massage with oil.
8. Laying on a beautiful tropical island with your lover next to you and thinking about what you want to do to them while the sun beats down on your half-naked body.
9. Sipping a cool drink lazily on this beautiful island in the shade, while your lover runs his hand slowly up your calf and stops at the knee, looking you in the eyes with a "I want to make love to you NOW!" look.
10. Having your lover make love to you all day - without touching you, through texts, phone calls, loving glances and wonderful anticipation.
11. A lingering kiss on the mouth, a longing look, and a sensual touch along your lower back, almost grazing your ass.......   the key here is subtlety guys. Right before you leave to go to work. This will keep us thinking about you all day long, wondering what will happen the next time we are together. Rather than the in your face "Give it to me because I am horny!" Such a turn off. Slow kissing, can be extremely erotic. Some people can orgasm through kissing alone.
12. When you make it all about us, rather than you.
13. When you give more than you receive.
14. You taking the time to draw a bath, light the candles, with a glass of Perrier, with no expectations of anything more. 
15. Having your lover drip honey onto your naked  body and then slowly lick it off. 
16. Sexy talk whispered into your ear while making love. Each person's acceptable vocabulary is different. Check with your partner first, before using foul language.
17. Reading erotica together can be extremely exciting. My personal favorite is Lady Chatterly's Lover. Published in 1928 by DH Lawrence.
18.  http://www.amazon.com/Lady-Chatterleys-Lover-Wordsworth-Classics/dp/1840224886

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of Orgasm For Life: A no holds-barred guide to BLISS launching on May 20, 2014. This book is not just a book about sex. It is a light-hearted and often humorous look at ourselves. It bridges the chasm between men and women where we make each other wrong. It crosses the lines of hate, mis-understanding, bringing us closer to who we truly are. Self Love is the foundation for healthy, loving supportive relationships, SEX is the glue. 

Sex helps us to connect with another deeply through our mind-body and spirit to raise our vibration and bring us closer to God/Allah/ Source/ Higher Power. This is where BLISS is. Sex is not dirty or wrong it is spiritual. Sex was after all, created by God. 

Jennifer's website is:  http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com