Friday, December 27, 2013

Looking For The Perfect Relationship?

As Featured On EzineArticles By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters


Everyone wants to love and be loved. Yet, the perfect idyllic love of childhood books is only found in the fantasy section of Barnes and Noble.


The people who cause us the greatest pain, have committed to help us heal in this lifetime. 


I hear it all the time; "When will my Soul Mate show up in my life? I have been waiting so long." Women and men wait and long for the perfect partner that doesn't fart or burp and says the perfect thing at the right time. Women long for the gorgeous hunk of a man with the six-pack and men long for the buxom blond who is intelligent and savvy, yet a tigress in the bedroom.  Why are we still sitting in front of our television sets watching romantic movies all alone?

There is no doubt that the greatest hurts are caused by those we love. Thinking that there is ONE person for us, will cause us to continue to wait. For we can only attract that which we have inside of us. We all vibrate at a certain level and attract those who vibrate at a similar level to us. It is the old, "birds of a feather theme all over again. We attract what we are. We attract what we think. We attract those who will reflect our deepest inner issues right back in our face. Those who show up in our lives teach us the lessons we need to learn. 


Our partners show up and act like the saucer of the tea cup. Fitting perfectly with us. We fall in love quickly and then just as quickly realize that, "Oh he smells bad!" or "She drinks." 

I recently was at a mixer of single people in Santa Monica, California. Most of the people were between the ages of 40 and 58. You would expect that they would be mature and have their feet firmly planted on the ground. I was asked to dance by a tall thin man. He emitted low self esteem from his aura. While dancing I talked to him asking about himself. Was he married? "Never!" I asked him, why he didn't marry the one he fell in love with. He replied, "She had issues." The fact that this insecure man was looking for someone without issues of their own, was very telling. We tend to not smell our own poop. He could not see the forest for the trees. He did not recognize that he had his own issues. He wanted perfection. Yet he was far from it himself. 

Whatever our greatest lessons are in this lifetime, someone will show up that will illustrate our lessons for us. If we have issues with low self esteem, partners will show up and teach us how little we value ourselves. They may victimize disrespect, or abuse us. People will show up that teach us what we need to learn about ourselves. 

Waiting for your Soul Mate or Twin Flame to show up? You may be missing out on other opportunities if you push people away who show up in front of you now. When you focus on their imperfections saying they aren't perfect could leave you standing at the train station waiting for Mr. Right to come along for a very long time. You are missing the point.

If you are looking for perfection, are you perfect? If you are looking for a supportive, loving person who will love, honor and cherish you no matter what, are you those things? There is no such thing as the PERFECT partner. No one is perfect. Each and every one of us has issues and challenges that we are working through. To think that there is only ONE person for us, is limiting and simply not true. 

Soul Mates

If you are looking for the romantic love, of a Disney movie, it does not exist. For that romance is make believe. If you want a white knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet and carry you out of your office building placing his helmet on your head, it won't happen. Soul Mates are people who push our buttons. They bring up our issues and challenge us on a very deep level. Soul Mate relationships are the most challenging that we can have. They are not perfect.

Twin Flames

A Twin Flame is someone who is actually part of your soul. When we meet them, we finish each other's thoughts. We feel such a deep and profound connection, that others feel it as well.

The love between you and your Twin Flame is earth shattering. That is the good news. Twin Flames show up to teach us something profound about ourselves. The lesson is particularly difficult and challenging. Twin Flames are only here with us for a very short time, they may even be married to someone else. Mine was single and with me for three months before he died in my arms. (Read more about it in Odyssey Victim to Victory) He was the first person to love me unconditionally. He taught me what REAL unconditional acceptance and love felt like. So that I would know it when it happened again.

I have done readings for several people who had experienced their Twin Flames, like me. Several were married to other people. Another sad story was one of the pain of death. The pain of this experience to find someone that they were so deeply connected to, but could not be with was excruciatingly painful. To lose such a person, or not to be able to be with them is heart-wrenching. 

The idyllic fantasy of the perfect love does not exist because in the end, we are humans. We have faults, and bad breath in the morning. Sometimes we smell bad and say things that hurt the other.  The truth is we are all works in progress. We learn and grow from each and every experience we have, including our relationships. When we are in a relationship we grow much faster than when we are alone. We are triggered often. Our issues come to the surface faster. We can't run away from our issues, unless we end the relationship. To continue to look and wait for THE ONE may mean you are alone instead of learning and growing with someone who may be just what you need. 

All relationships work better when each partner loves themselves. Coming from a place of lack, self doubt or feeling unworthy brings neediness into the relationship. It is impossible for another to fill you, when you are not able to fulfill yourself. Check out Jennifer's courses on Self Love. 

Jennifer is a self love coach. You can contact her at : Divinehealingnow@yahoo.com to schedule a private session. She has courses, in groups and also work at your own speed. Connect with her on Facebook www.facebook.com/JenniferElizabethMasters