By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
There is a huge difference in the focus of insecure and confident people. Those that suffer from insecurities are afraid people won't like them or that they aren't enough. They are looking for acceptance outside of themselves. I used to be one.
In the past, I worried if people would like me, or the way I dressed and looked. I was concerned that I wasn't enough. I woke in the middle of the night riddled with fears. I worried about how to dress, what to say and how to act. The bottom line was, I focused on what others thought.
Men worry about the size of their penis, while women worry about their looks and weight.
Once we notice how much energy we expend with worries about other's opinions, we need to make changes in our behavior and thoughts. I know what worked for me. My motto is:
What others think of you is none of your business!
Following are seven reasons you are wasting precious energy by concerning yourself with what others think:
- It Causes you uncertainty. There are a million opinions. Asking for other's opinions causes you confusion and internal chaos. Instead, ask yourself how does this situation make me feel? Which feels better in my body, plan A or plan B? Your body will never lie. Use your body as a human pendulum and ask questions of your high self.
- Creates a lack of self-trust. When we rely on others telling us what to do, we end up not doing the things we want, then feel resentful and angry that we didn't do what we felt was best forourselves. The more you ask, the more opinions you will get, the less trust you have for yourself. You have an internal compass USE IT!
- Reduces your self-esteem. Relying on others opinions creates self-doubt. When we doubt ourselves, we feel small and insignificant. You have value. You know what is best for you. Take small steps towards confidence by making small decisions and seeing how much better you feel when you do.
- You give your power away. When you ask others what they think you reduce your inner strength which makes you feel weak and small.
- Others opinions will cause you to feel bad. People can judge you for your behavior. Asking others what they think will make you second-guess yourself and lead to wishy-washy thinking and indecision. You need to practise to become good at a skill. Decision-making is a skill that as a muscle needs to builds over time. You might feel a little shaky at first. It's okay even a baby has to crawl before he can walk.
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