Are You Jealous of Everyone?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

I remember the days when I attempted to fit in, longed for others to "like" me and felt uncomfortable in my skin. I worried about what people thought of me and often felt I was right when others had to be wrong. I "helped" others by fixing them or giving them suggestions on how they could be better. 

Can you imagine? 

Performing for a family member in my backyard

I was pretty, but thought I was ugly. I hated my nose. I hated my teeth. I thought my thighs were too fat. I was jealous, insecure and oh so unhappy. I was jealous of the smart girls. I was jealous of the ones with the best boyfriends. I was jealous of the attention others got instead of me.

 Though I was one of the popular girls in high school, a cheerleader and on the Athletic Council, an elected post, inside of my brain was a sea of negative mind chatter that gave me no peace and kept me awake at night. 

It doesn't matter what the immediate cause is; when we are filled with jealousy it is because of self-loathing and insecurities. What does matter is that we do something about it. I did. I set about to find out why I was sick all the time and to stop blaming others for the way I felt about myself. I was numb, uncomfortable, insecure, jealous, anxious, depressed and unhappy.

I didn't consider myself a jealous person, but others did. JEM

I read every self-help book I could find beginning with Louise Hay You Can Heal Your Life. I tried traditional therapies and even took Prozac after a particularly messy and ugly divorce. The Prozac just made me not feel my feelings even more than I already did. 

In spite of what I have heard some clients tell me, there is no side of jealousy that is healthy. 

What Does Jealousy Mean?

• Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. 
• Jealousy is from self-loathing a form of deep seated hatred.
• Jealousy is anger.
• Jealous is a sign of abuse.
• Jealousy left unhealed will kill your relationships and leave you feeling wounded, broken and wronged. Yet, we are the ones with the unbridled envy. 

Why We Feel Jealous

We have core beliefs that leave us feeling unworthy or not enough. We believe that others are better than us and we are lacking. Jealousy is a form of self-sabotage. The truth is we lack our love and acceptance. 

How To Overcome Jealousy

1. Recognize that we are giving our personal power away.

2. Step back. Notice what story is playing in our mind. Shift your perspective. 

3. Ask: Is this true? Am I imagining this? 

4. Notice your emotions. Awareness changes everything.

5. Do something physical, like taking a power walk and allow the energy of the emotions to be released. 

6. Notice core beliefs. What is under the feeling of jealousy?Is it that we don't feel enough? Is it that we don't feel loved? 

7. Get quiet and turn inward to connect with our higher power. Meditation will help us faster than anything get the real truth. 

8. Use a mantra to calm your mind and fill up with positive feelings. 

I am enough.

I love me.

I am loved.

Jealousy is hatred and inner loathing with a core belief of not being good enough. 

Watch for my new book! Happy Anywhere!

Download my free meditation to overcome not feeling enough. 

Contact Jennifer to work with her. Contact Jennifer for questions or to set up your free discovery session. 

Sign up for Jennifer's offerings on her website

21 Signs Of Insecurity Overcome These To Be Happy

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

One of the common denominators with all of my clients is that they are not comfortable in their own skin. Everyone has some issue with self-esteem. Those who are comfortable with who they are and secure will have more meaningful relationships as well as success. Those who are completely confident are self-actualized and enlightened usually, becoming our greatest spiritual leaders. 

Someone who is insecure will have difficulties in many aspects of life. It is next to impossible to be completely free of self-doubt. Becoming emotionally healthy and secure is a life-long process, that takes work, forgiveness and of course, self-love.

Confidence is something that happens slowly. Usually, as we gain wisdom through our life experience recognizing that life is orchestrating for you, rather than against you is a great factor and a leg-up to confidence. When young people find their way to confidence early, they will also find success circumventing the struggles that insecure people experience.

Meeting Your Destiny

The sooner you realize that happiness is something that you decide rather than obtain from outside of you through material possessions, weight loss, relationships or money the faster you will meet your destiny. Helping others reach their destiny is what I do on a daily basis.

Insecurity is destructive. To mask our insecurity, we will not be completely authentic, vulnerable or honest with ourselves and others. We use avoidance techniques so that we don't feel our feelings fully when we are insecure. We attempt to make situations work with negative behaviors to get our needs met.

How Can We Decide To Be Happy?

When we choose to be happy, we begin to focus on the best options or possibilities rather than the problems and thrive instead of waiting to die. 

We make a choice when we stub our toe, wake up late or get stuck in traffic how we will react. We can be angry, upset or decide that there is some higher plan in place and reason for what is happening. When we become watchful of our circumstances rather than feeling like a victim we recognize we are co-creating our reality on a daily basis with our beliefs, thoughts, and emotions.

The Signs of Insecurity

1. You seek validation and approval from others. Secure people validate themselves from within. Insecure people are overly concerned about what others think of what they do, wear, say and even feel. This need for validation comes from not being seen, heard or validated by our parents. Whether our parents validated us or not is not the question, but rather your perception of what occurred in childhood.
2. You doubt yourself. A secure person trusts themselves and their decisions. An insecure person will be wishy-washy going back and forth even seeking the approval or insight from others before making a decision. Even after receiving input from others an insecure person will still not be sure they are making the best decision for themselves. This doubt extends to relationships, purchases, and trusting intuition.
3. You are selfish. A secure person fills themselves from within, doing spiritual practices like meditation, exercise and other activities alone.You may be self-seeking, looking for attention,  love, accolades, and possessions. 
4. You don't feel worthy. A secure person knows that they are worthy. An insecure person feels inadequate and not good enough. They judge and criticize themselves and others.
5. You don't feel loved and accepted. A secure person loves and accepts themselves with all their flaws and faults. An insecure person focuses on what is wrong with them, their pimples, fat, stupidity and other negativity.
6. You seek perfection. It isn't enough to do your best at your job, as a parent, or in your work, you strive to be perfect. Perfection isn't possible and creates anxiety, struggle and eventually health issues. Self-discipline in place of perfection will help you get there. 
7. You feel as if people are looking at you. A secure person is absorbed in what they are doing rather than what others are. The focus on others looking at you, not liking you and not approving of you is destructive and debilitating. My catch-phrase is: What others think of you is none of your business!
8. You are overly accommodating. A secure person recognizes what their needs are and asks for what they want. An insecure person will say, "Whatever you want."
9. You hate to be alone. A secure person enjoys solitude and feels comfortable alone. An insecure person will surround themselves with activity, tasks and other distractions rather than be alone with themselves.
10. You feel uncomfortable in your own skin. A secure person is very comfortable being who they are wherever they are. They exude confidence and enter a room standing up straight, shoulders back, chest out feeling very comfortable no matter where they are. An insecure person may have shoulders hunched over trying to make themselves small and hide somewhere in a crowd.
11. You have addictions. A secure person has overcome addictions and healed the source: a lack of self-love. An insecure person uses drugs, alcohol, relationships, pornography, sex, shopping, food or activity like cleaning to feel better. Addictions stem from a rejection of the self or lack of self-love. Heal yourself through self-love and the addictions go away!
12. You feel life isn't fair. A secure person will take charge of their life going for what they want without worrying about what others think. An insecure person feels that the world owes them something when they don't get what they want they blame others. You probably also live in the past, rather than dwelling in the present, continuing to resent ex's, parents, bosses or even children for what they have done to you.
13. You feel like a victim. A secure person has resolved the past and recognizes that it was all an effort to get them to grow. They learned their lessons from the pain, suffering and challenges and has moved on through forgiveness. An insecure person continues to blame others for their lot in life and unhappiness and may even feel like a martyr. 
14. You long for someone else to love you so you can be happy.
15. You wish for the day when you can win the lottery so you will have happiness. When that day never comes, you blame the others that won instead. You may be unhappy your entire life because you feel that happiness will come in a ticket. 
16. You are envious of others. A secure person will be happy for other's success, while an insecure person will feel jealous.
17. You often feel left out or avoided by others. A secure person goes about their business without worrying about what others are doing, thinking or saying about them. An insecure person may wonder if they smell bad, or have some sort of plague. 
18. You stay in relationships that you know aren't supportive or going anywhere. A secure person will end a relationship that isn't supportive or when core values aren't in alignment even if love is present, as they know in the long-term the relationship will not survive. An insecure person hangs on for dear life for any relationship no matter how abusive or destructive because they are afraid no one else will love them or want them. (I used to do this. You can read my story of recovery in Odyssey Victim To Victory.
19. You are an energy vampire. Secure people create their own emotional energy from within. Insecure people draw emotional energy from others - draining those they love, causing fatigue from being around you. We do this unknowingly, from a desire of wanting to be filled up. Our lack of self-care and self-nurturing causes us to feel empty inside. We aren't empty we just feel this way.
20. You can't stand silence. A secure person revels in silence knowing that stillness and silence are food for the soul. An insecure person will have to have music, cell phone to text or talk to others, television or other distractions to feel comfortable. 
21. You feel the world is unsafe. A secure person knows that the world is a safe place and feels protected. An insecure person is afraid that danger lurks everywhere and may be suspicious of other's motives.

I have had all of these characteristics and many not listed here. I am here to help others find the happiness that I found through my thirty plus years of seeking, searching and healing. If you found this helpful, please share it with a friend. My business grows through referrals. So far I have helped thousands of men and women grow to their full potential, but there are millions out there that still need help. This is my soul purpose. I can help you find yours. Send me a private e-mail today so you can get started on your path to fulfillment and joy. 

Everything that happens does so for the good of our soul. The truth is we all have insecurities from events that occurred in childhood. Our parents did what they contracted with us to do so that we would learn what we came here to learn. Some people never get that this is part of the Divine Plan. 

We gain wisdom as we heal and transform our pain into joy. It is possible; I have done it myself. I had tremendous pain and suffering as you did in my childhood. I felt like a victim for over thirty years. Today, I thrive on solitude and quiet. I am happy alone or with a crowd. I feel comfortable in my skin and trust my Guidance. If you are ready to overcome your pain, suffering, and struggle, why don't you contact me now?

Jennifer is working on her third self-help book:

Happy Here, Happy Anywhere

The Step-By-Step Guide To Overcoming Anxiety, Depression and Unhappiness Without A Prescription!

If not now, when? Isn't it time you were happy with you, your life and had the love you deserve? I help you find the love that is already present within you by uncovering and clearing off the sh** that is in the way.

I love you!

5 Reasons You Shouldn't Be Concerned About What Others Think

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

There is a huge difference in the focus of insecure and confident people. Those that suffer from insecurities are afraid people won't like them or that they aren't enough. They are looking for acceptance outside of themselves. I used to be one. 

In the past, I worried if people would like me, or the way I dressed and looked. I was concerned that I wasn't enough. I woke in the middle of the night riddled with fears. I worried about how to dress, what to say and how to act. The bottom line was, I focused on what others thought. 

Men worry about the size of their penis, while women worry about their looks and weight. 

Once we notice how much energy we expend with worries about other's opinions, we need to make changes in our behavior and thoughts. I know what worked for me. My motto is:

What others think of you is none of your business!

Following are seven reasons you are wasting precious energy by concerning yourself with what others think: 

1. It Causes you uncertainty.  There are a million opinions. Asking for other's opinions causes you confusion and internal chaos. Instead, ask yourself how does this situation make me feel? Which feels better in my body, plan A or plan B? Your body will never lie. Use your body as a human pendulum and ask questions of your high self.
2. Creates a lack of self-trust. When we rely on others telling us what to do, we end up not doing the things we want, then feel resentful and angry that we didn't do what we felt was best for
   
   ourselves. The more you ask, the more opinions you will get, the less trust you have for yourself. You have an internal compass USE IT!
3. Reduces your self-esteem. Relying on others opinions creates self-doubt. When we doubt ourselves, we feel small and insignificant. You have value. You know what is best for you. Take small steps towards confidence by making small decisions and seeing how much better you feel when you do.
4. You give your power away. When you ask others what they think you reduce your inner strength which makes you feel weak and small.
5. Others opinions will cause you to feel bad. People can judge you for your behavior. Asking others what they think will make you second-guess yourself and lead to wishy-washy thinking and indecision. You need to practise to become good at a skill. Decision-making is a skill that as a muscle needs to builds over time. You might feel a little shaky at first. It's okay even a baby has to crawl before he can walk.

For more information about overcoming insecurity read this: 

Recognizing Insecurity and 10 Powerful Ways to Overcome It

Visit our website:  AphroditeEffect.com

Send Jennifer an e-mail to set up your Free Discovery Session right now!

Losing Your Erection

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

My weird sense of humor was coming through while writing this title. I was hearing the song, "Losing My Religion." Maybe losing your erection and losing your religion are similar. Both feel leave you feeling sad, frustrated and lost. 

Although I have never lost an erection, I have talked to many men who have. The frustration over not being able to get a body part to cooperate can create a slew of issues within your relationship. Most women will be kind, considerate and loving. We move on quickly to something else. Men however, linger, obsess and beat themselves up.

Little Blue Pills

I am not a fan of little blue pills to fix anything. I prefer natural methods, herbs hypnotherapy, and Neurolinguistic Programming. I use several different methods to help men overcome anxiety about a penis malfunction. I recommend two to three sessions. One session can fix the issue - usually temporarily. Many men think they are good and then come back to me later, "You were right, I need another session!"

It is not about being right. The mind can obsess about an issue, plaguing you further and creating lost sleep and stress over something that needs to be let go of, rather than an issue to continue to beat yourself up over. 

One Little Thought

Sex for many becomes all about technique and style. Am I good enough? Am I big enough? Will I be hard enough? All these queries cause doubt in your mind. LET THEM GO! Easier said than done? Meditate. Focus on seeing yourself full, engorged and erect, rather than focusing on petering out, so to speak.

One thought begets another, then another, and your thoughts create a spiral you can't get out of. It is better to stop what you are doing. Massage each other, or better yet, put a robe on and go get something to eat. A change of activity can be all it takes. Your woman may very well come up with a new idea that takes your big head out of the game, so your little head can erupt.

What To Do?

The more you fixate on their being an issue, the more issue you create. Like with any type of manifesting you have to focus on what you want, rather than what you don't want. Here is a way to get you out of this self defeating spiral.

1. Change your venue. Moving from one room to another, feeding each other sexy juicy fruits, or giving her a massage can be all you need to get you out of your head. Doing something that mimics sex, will ignite the fire. Sometimes taking a walk - getting out of the bedroom and watching a movie is a better idea than banging away with a soft penis. Just stop. The more you try, the less it works.
2. Think of things that turn you on.
3. A sexy mouth, dripping with fresh strawberry juice, a hand massage, a red lipsticked mouth sucking on your fingers, thumb or toes can do the trick also.
4. Watch a sexy movie together. Soft porn watched together can be a real turn-on. Some women, though are not into porn at all. There are movies that can turn a woman on, without being
   
   pornographic. 
5. Read erotica together. Having someone read to you, can get you to turn off the mind chatter and focus on something exciting, titillating and completely different than what your negative thoughts were creating. I intentionally wrote a section in my book. Orgasm For Life will turn you both on - get your copy here on Amazon.com
6. Remember where you focus your energy creates more of the same. I know it is hard (sorry for the pun) not to think of the elephant in the room. A soft penis is much more embarrassing for the man, than it is for the woman. She has already moved
   on, why don't you as well? Loving thoughts, rather than beating yourself up.

Shift These Three Things

Willingness: be willing to think in a new way.

Courage: Have the courage to think differently. 

Faith: Have faith in the value of stepping out of your comfort zone

           and do things differently. 

Great Sex

Great sex happens when you are totally in the moment, connected on all levels, rather than worried about are you big enough, good enough, or is your technique amazing? Get out of your head and into your heart for great sex. Move into your heart. Get into the feeling rather than thinking about technique. Blood pressure medicine, anti-depressants, diabetes and statins can all interfere with a man's ability to keep it up. 

Read my post below on meditation. Meditation can shift you, raise your spirits and calm your mind. Your mind is not your friend right now. The thoughts you are thinking are helping to perpetuate your issue.

My purpose is to bring you the latest information to assist you and your partner have the best experience you can, while deepening your connection and the intimacy between you. 

The best sex is when love and a powerful connection are present. Moving sex into the realm of sacred is my mission. If you enjoyed the article, please share it with your friends. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach, healer and author. She helps women heal trauma and past events, so that they can attract loving supportive relationships where unconditional love and acceptance is the underlying foundation. She also helps women and men with PTSD and addictions. You can contact her here for your personal discovery session for free. Spend 30 or 40 minutes with Jennifer to discuss what your intention is, what you are looking to achieve or heal. 

Recognizing Insecurity and 10 Powerful Ways to Overcome It

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Most of us have felt insecure at some time. When we feel insecure ALL the time, we have self-love and self-acceptance issues. 

When I was a teen and well into adulthood, I was extremely insecure. I had the market cornered on insecurity and neediness. I remember thinking, "She's prettier than me! She's thinner than me! He's smarter than I will ever be! I can't do math! I can't be successful. I have to have someone who loves me to feel whole. My mother always loved my brother more than me. My father wouldn't let me go to college!" 

Stinking Thinking Sinks US

All these mental constructs are just stories that we make up that have little or no validity. When we believe the stories, is when we really get into a downward spiral. Comparing ourselves to others is never good. We are all unique. We all have our own gifts to share with the world. Here are some ways to recognize insecurity and later I will give you ways to overcome it. 

You May Be Insecure If

• You feel needy
• You are jealous - sometimes to the point of feeling insane
• You have self-doubt
• You beat yourself up
• You complain
• You are reactive to what others say
• You compare yourself to others
• You need to have a partner to feel whole
• You are uncomfortable having others look at you
• You feel fat
• You feel too thin
• You feed stupid
• You feel inadequate
• You feel your mother didn't love you
• You feel your father didn't love you
• You have any addictions: shopping, sex, work, working out, pot, alcohol, meth, sugar, eating, binging, purging, cutting
• You have compulsive behaviors
• You are afraid - of anything
• You worry
• You obsess
• You are never on time
• You are not successful at what you do
• You have difficulty with abuse
• Your relationships are awful: cheaters, liars, abusers, bad boys, bad girls, 
• You can't find love
• You say mean things to others
• You bitch, moan, complain about your life
• Your life is filled with chaos
• Your life is filled with drama
• You are unhappy with you, life, your job, your boss, your partner
• You can't meditate
• You look at yourself in the mirror and pick yourself apart
• You are estranged from any family member
• Depression
• Insomnia
• Anxiety
• Aches, pains
• Adrenal issues - Addison's disease
• Apathy
• Suicide
• Anorexia
• Feel like a victim
• Blame others for your lot in life and unhappiness
• Low blood pressure (lack of love as a child)
• Breast problems and breast cancer - refusal to nourish the self
• You are a people pleaser
• You are not authentic, but the chameleon, changing who you are for different people and situations
• You may be a workshop junkie
• You may be a healing junkie going from healer to healer looking for the quick fix
• You may encourage arguments to prove how unlovable you are
• You may lash out at others to hurt them - because you are hurting
• You may push love away
• You may resist love
• You may feel unlovable and unworthy
• Your thoughts are negative
• You have a lot of mind chatter
• You feel like a victim
• You are looking to be rescued
• You may be lonely or feel alone even in a relationship
• You worry about what other's think of you

Any of these traits depict insecurity. Feeling lack in any area of your life can make you feel insecure. I have been there and worn the T-shirts, and given them all to Goodwill. What is wrong with being insecure? Plenty. Your relationships suck, you have challenges in most areas of your life and you are unhappy. Focusing on these areas and continuing to do nothing about it can lead to the following diseases:

Just A Few Examples of Diseases Caused By Self-Hatred

1. Cancer - holding onto deep hurt, hatred
2. Arthritis - feeling unloved, criticism, resentment
3. Fibromyalgia - self-loathing, negativity, complaining
4. Epstein-Barr and any other auto immune disease
5. Acne - rejection of self
6. Bulimia - frantic stuffing of the self
7. Addictions - alcohol, sugar, pot, sex, shopping

Insecurity can ruin our relationships, success and steel our happiness. In my case, I went from one relationship to another, looking for love, acceptance and validation. Never finding it till I began to accept and love all of myself. It was a gradual process. When I began to see how my thoughts were literally killing me, I made the choice to do something about it. 

I studied hypnotherapy, when I saw that it helped me. I became a hypnotherapist and then a hypnotherapy trainer. I was helped by NLP, so I became certified in that modality. Energy healing helped me, so I became certified in Spiritual Response Therapy. I saw how coaching was needed, rather than traditional therapy to help others feel fully alive, secure and filled with self love. I have since gone on to combine all these modalities into the work I do with my clients. In the process of healing my life, I became enlightened. I created tools to help others heal their life that worked for me. 

Happiness Is An Inside Job

We are each responsible for our own happiness. No one else can make us happy. 

No relationship can fill us up or make us feel less broken. 

We have to choose happiness for ourselves. Thinking that we will be happy when we find the perfect job, relationship or move to the perfect place, is not going to bring it to you. Looking outside of ourselves for joy or happiness is not going to be lasting or permanent. Whether it is a new car, a home, a job, business, a relationship or even losing weight. All those things may bring a fleeting joy, but material things and other people do not make us happy, or secure.

How To Begin To Love Yourself and Feel Complete

1. Stop blaming everyone. You are not a victim. Take Responsibility for your happiness. 
2. Happiness is a choice - choose to be happy each day.
3. Be grateful for what you have. Prayers of gratitude remind you of all the good you do have and open you to receive more.
4. Forgive everyone, beginning with yourself. Use the Ho'oponopono Prayer daily until you feel complete. 
5. Stop beating yourself up, saying you are an idiot or stupid, or worse.
6. Use a mantra to reprogram your mind. A mantra needs to be positive simple and said either silently or out loud when your mind is in neutral. Meditation, peeling vegetables, washing dishes, putting on make-up, driving your car are all times when your mind is in neutral.
7. Get an energy clearing to clear blocks and negativity as well as blocked emotions. When you are ready to step out you can even have the blocks in your heart cleared as well.
8.  Begin to have a soft focus on you. Look at yourself with loving eyes instead of criticism. Get to know who you are and what you love. What do you love about you? Write down 10 things that you love about you.
9. What do you love to do? Do one thing on the list daily.
10. Do something daily that nurtures your soul. If you love to take hot baths in candlelight, do that. If you love to work out - work out. Do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself. You are important. You are worthy. You are loved. The person you need to give love to is YOU!

When we love ourselves, others want to be around us. We become a magnet for higher consciousness people and more loving kindness. Good things begin to happen to us. The Universe supports us.

Jennifer is a self-love coach and spiritual guide. She assists men and women love themselves fearlessly. She is an author and a healer. She can help you overcome the slew of issues listed on this blog above. Jennifer also works with women overcoming breast cancer. She helps you reprogram your mind so that you don't recreate it in your body. Jennifer is loving, compassionate and present. She has healed her own issues with self-love, so she understands what you are going through. You can buy her book here.

Her website is: JenniferElizabethMasters.com

The fast way to enlightenment?  SELF LOVE!