Searching For Love?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters ~ Love and Passion Coach

We have all been there. We try to make a guy like us. We can wear our best outfit, our sexiest of heels, but the more we try,
the less they like us. Why? Because we aren’t being authentic. 

The best way to attract a guy is to be you. Most men want a woman who is confident, stands up for herself and knows what she wants. 

We are happier when we love and respect ourselves. The stronger our self-esteem is, the more attractive we are to men. The more needy we are, the more available we make ourselves and the less authentic we are. When we are needy it is like fishing in the ocean without any bait on our hook. The best way to catch a man is by being completely in love with ourselves. I am not talking about conceit, but authentic self-acceptance.

When you are comfortable being who you truly are, men are drawn to you like a magnet. 

Most women look for a relationship to make them happy, when it really is the other way around. No one can make you happy but you. The happier you are with you, the more attractive you become. Your inner beauty begins to radiate outward making you a magnet for men and love. 


Love comes from inside us. If we don’t love and approve of ourselves, we feel empty, lost and search for love outside of ourselves. If we are miserable being alone, we won't be much happier in a relationship. We think we will be happy once we have a relationship because it is what we see on television and in movies. The temporary happiness we might feel in a relationship will go away at the first sign of trouble.
How can you tell if you love and approve of yourself? People that love themselves have the following traits.

You focus on the positive traits in you, rather than the negative.
You love yourself unconditionally. You lovingly embrace your flaws and faults knowing you are a work in progress. You don’t try to be perfect. You also accept others as they are.

1. You feel good about yourself no matter what your weight is or whether you are in a relationship or not. You are happy with you.
2. You take good care of yourself getting plenty of rest and eating healthily.
3. You aren’t concerned what others think about you. 
4. You are authentic, the same with everyone, rather than a chameleon that changes with each person you are with. You won’t fake or lie about liking something when you don’t.
5. You feel complete and happy on your own, rather than looking for someone else to fill your emotional needs.
6. You are happy as you are and don’t try to change or fix others.
7. You honor yourself. You won’t do things you don’t want to do, just to keep a guy.
8. You have self-respect. You won’t stay in a bad relationship because you are afraid you won’t find anyone else.
9. You know your value. 

Love begins and ends with you. If you don’t love you, how can you expect anyone else to? We can’t show up looking for a relationship expecting someone else to fill us up. We have to fill ourselves up with love first.

Think of your mind as a magnifying glass. Whatever you think about expands. Focus your thoughts, and attention on your positive traits. No one is perfect, however when all you think about is what is wrong with you, you are magnifying the negative rather than lovingly embracing all parts of you. You can't cut the parts of yourself out that you don't like, love them anyway.

Think of all the things that you love about you. Even if you can’t come up with five things, look deeper. “I love my skin, hair, nails, legs, eyes.” Rather than standing in front of the mirror in the morning picking apart your face and body, begin to tell yourself, “I love my face. I love my body. I am beautiful.” Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Even if you don’t believe it at first. Your unconscious mind is like a computer. It will reprogram itself with consistent positive input. 

It takes 30 days to change a pattern, so don’t give up after one or two days. Mantras have been used for thousands of years to heal the mind. Use a mantra before you go to bed at night like, “I love me.” Repeat it when your mind is in neutral, in the shower, driving, putting on your make-up. 

What you put in your mind will also come out. You will find yourself feeling happier and more positive when you begin putting positive thoughts into your unconscious mind.

Rather than searching outside of you for someone else to love you, begin spending time getting to know what you want, what you love and what you don’t. Do what you love to do, rather than waiting for someone else to take you or go with you.

Do things that make you happy every day. Happy people please themselves with small things. Take a walk outside in nature, a visit to a park, exercise. Take care of you. The happier you are the more attractive you will be to men. Pretty soon you won’t be worrying if you can find a man, instead you’ll wonder which one should I pick?

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author of Orgasm For Life, and Odyssey Victim to Victory she is a love and passion coach and intuitive healer. She works with women looking for love, building confidence and self-esteem. Jennifer has been on a healing journey for over 30 years, overcoming her own self-hatred, and sexual trauma. Her  website is http://aphroditeeffect.com/ Are you ready to find a different love, one that suits you? Jennifer's an expert at helping people attract a higher love, that floats your boat and fulfills your dreams. 

Recognizing Insecurity and 10 Powerful Ways to Overcome It

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Most of us have felt insecure at some time. When we feel insecure ALL the time, we have self-love and self-acceptance issues. 

When I was a teen and well into adulthood, I was extremely insecure. I had the market cornered on insecurity and neediness. I remember thinking, "She's prettier than me! She's thinner than me! He's smarter than I will ever be! I can't do math! I can't be successful. I have to have someone who loves me to feel whole. My mother always loved my brother more than me. My father wouldn't let me go to college!" 

Stinking Thinking Sinks US

All these mental constructs are just stories that we make up that have little or no validity. When we believe the stories, is when we really get into a downward spiral. Comparing ourselves to others is never good. We are all unique. We all have our own gifts to share with the world. Here are some ways to recognize insecurity and later I will give you ways to overcome it. 

You May Be Insecure If

• You feel needy
• You are jealous - sometimes to the point of feeling insane
• You have self-doubt
• You beat yourself up
• You complain
• You are reactive to what others say
• You compare yourself to others
• You need to have a partner to feel whole
• You are uncomfortable having others look at you
• You feel fat
• You feel too thin
• You feed stupid
• You feel inadequate
• You feel your mother didn't love you
• You feel your father didn't love you
• You have any addictions: shopping, sex, work, working out, pot, alcohol, meth, sugar, eating, binging, purging, cutting
• You have compulsive behaviors
• You are afraid - of anything
• You worry
• You obsess
• You are never on time
• You are not successful at what you do
• You have difficulty with abuse
• Your relationships are awful: cheaters, liars, abusers, bad boys, bad girls, 
• You can't find love
• You say mean things to others
• You bitch, moan, complain about your life
• Your life is filled with chaos
• Your life is filled with drama
• You are unhappy with you, life, your job, your boss, your partner
• You can't meditate
• You look at yourself in the mirror and pick yourself apart
• You are estranged from any family member
• Depression
• Insomnia
• Anxiety
• Aches, pains
• Adrenal issues - Addison's disease
• Apathy
• Suicide
• Anorexia
• Feel like a victim
• Blame others for your lot in life and unhappiness
• Low blood pressure (lack of love as a child)
• Breast problems and breast cancer - refusal to nourish the self
• You are a people pleaser
• You are not authentic, but the chameleon, changing who you are for different people and situations
• You may be a workshop junkie
• You may be a healing junkie going from healer to healer looking for the quick fix
• You may encourage arguments to prove how unlovable you are
• You may lash out at others to hurt them - because you are hurting
• You may push love away
• You may resist love
• You may feel unlovable and unworthy
• Your thoughts are negative
• You have a lot of mind chatter
• You feel like a victim
• You are looking to be rescued
• You may be lonely or feel alone even in a relationship
• You worry about what other's think of you

Any of these traits depict insecurity. Feeling lack in any area of your life can make you feel insecure. I have been there and worn the T-shirts, and given them all to Goodwill. What is wrong with being insecure? Plenty. Your relationships suck, you have challenges in most areas of your life and you are unhappy. Focusing on these areas and continuing to do nothing about it can lead to the following diseases:

Just A Few Examples of Diseases Caused By Self-Hatred

1. Cancer - holding onto deep hurt, hatred
2. Arthritis - feeling unloved, criticism, resentment
3. Fibromyalgia - self-loathing, negativity, complaining
4. Epstein-Barr and any other auto immune disease
5. Acne - rejection of self
6. Bulimia - frantic stuffing of the self
7. Addictions - alcohol, sugar, pot, sex, shopping

Insecurity can ruin our relationships, success and steel our happiness. In my case, I went from one relationship to another, looking for love, acceptance and validation. Never finding it till I began to accept and love all of myself. It was a gradual process. When I began to see how my thoughts were literally killing me, I made the choice to do something about it. 

I studied hypnotherapy, when I saw that it helped me. I became a hypnotherapist and then a hypnotherapy trainer. I was helped by NLP, so I became certified in that modality. Energy healing helped me, so I became certified in Spiritual Response Therapy. I saw how coaching was needed, rather than traditional therapy to help others feel fully alive, secure and filled with self love. I have since gone on to combine all these modalities into the work I do with my clients. In the process of healing my life, I became enlightened. I created tools to help others heal their life that worked for me. 

Happiness Is An Inside Job

We are each responsible for our own happiness. No one else can make us happy. 

No relationship can fill us up or make us feel less broken. 

We have to choose happiness for ourselves. Thinking that we will be happy when we find the perfect job, relationship or move to the perfect place, is not going to bring it to you. Looking outside of ourselves for joy or happiness is not going to be lasting or permanent. Whether it is a new car, a home, a job, business, a relationship or even losing weight. All those things may bring a fleeting joy, but material things and other people do not make us happy, or secure.

How To Begin To Love Yourself and Feel Complete

1. Stop blaming everyone. You are not a victim. Take Responsibility for your happiness. 
2. Happiness is a choice - choose to be happy each day.
3. Be grateful for what you have. Prayers of gratitude remind you of all the good you do have and open you to receive more.
4. Forgive everyone, beginning with yourself. Use the Ho'oponopono Prayer daily until you feel complete. 
5. Stop beating yourself up, saying you are an idiot or stupid, or worse.
6. Use a mantra to reprogram your mind. A mantra needs to be positive simple and said either silently or out loud when your mind is in neutral. Meditation, peeling vegetables, washing dishes, putting on make-up, driving your car are all times when your mind is in neutral.
7. Get an energy clearing to clear blocks and negativity as well as blocked emotions. When you are ready to step out you can even have the blocks in your heart cleared as well.
8.  Begin to have a soft focus on you. Look at yourself with loving eyes instead of criticism. Get to know who you are and what you love. What do you love about you? Write down 10 things that you love about you.
9. What do you love to do? Do one thing on the list daily.
10. Do something daily that nurtures your soul. If you love to take hot baths in candlelight, do that. If you love to work out - work out. Do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself. You are important. You are worthy. You are loved. The person you need to give love to is YOU!

When we love ourselves, others want to be around us. We become a magnet for higher consciousness people and more loving kindness. Good things begin to happen to us. The Universe supports us.

Jennifer is a self-love coach and spiritual guide. She assists men and women love themselves fearlessly. She is an author and a healer. She can help you overcome the slew of issues listed on this blog above. Jennifer also works with women overcoming breast cancer. She helps you reprogram your mind so that you don't recreate it in your body. Jennifer is loving, compassionate and present. She has healed her own issues with self-love, so she understands what you are going through. You can buy her book here.

Her website is: JenniferElizabethMasters.com

The fast way to enlightenment?  SELF LOVE!

Losing Yourself In An Addictive Relationship

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

We meet someone and begin to fall in love. When they ask you to do something, you drop what you are doing, wanting to be with them more than anything. When you have arrangements with friends, you set them aside waiting for your LOVE to be available. As soon as he asks, you drop everything to spend time with him. 

When he/she doesn't like your friends, you stop spending time with them, for fear that they will leave you. When your family make inappropriate comments, you steer clear of them also, as you don't want to lose him/her. When your new LOVE is available and wants to spend the evening with you, even though you have hours of work to do, you say "Yes, I would love to." You may even wait by the phone, missing your workout, in the off-chance that they might call. Or when they ask if you are available, you say, "YES!" missing your workout for them again. This is the beginning of a codependent, addictive relationship. You are giving up yourself, the things that make you feel confident and positive and putting your relationship ahead of your own self care. 

Sometimes, we take it even further; we act the way we think our new found love wants us to be. We become the chameleon, turning ourselves inside out, jumping through hoops to please them. We set aside the fact that we don't like Mexican food, because they love it. We stop working out, because our new partner doesn't. We stop working overtime to get our work done, because our new love is available and wants to spend time with us.

When we change ourselves and our routine to "please" our partner, we are dropping our boundaries and putting our own desires behind those of our partner. Codependence is addictive behavior, ignoring your personal needs and desires, for that of the relationship or your partner. Eventually, your true self is lost, you wonder who you have become, as you have strayed so far from your authentic self that you don't know who you are anymore. You put your partners' needs ahead of your own, thinking that it is for the good of the relationship. This behavior will send you down a road of thankless events, resentment and poor treatment. 

Respect is lost when you don't speak up for yourself. Lifting all personal boundaries is never a good idea. Without boundaries, we begin to accept mediocre treatment, being taken for granted and set aside for our partner's desires and needs. Often codependent people attract narcissistic personalities. We are like a beacon of light in the darkness for those who have a strong sense of entitlement and require excessive admiration. The coupling with a narcissist can be a dark and windy road into personal oblivion. Leading you to wonder where you went. Following are characteristics of a narcissist:

Characteristics of a Narcissist

• Has a very strong sense of entitlement. Believes that they should receive special dispensation, and can only be understood by and associate with other high-level people or institutions.
• Believes that they are special or unique. (Yes everyone is unique, yet the narcissist believes they are MORE unique than anyone else.
• Lacks empathy. Will not, and cannot relate to others feelings.
• Cannot show sympathy. You will very rarely hear the words, "I am sorry from a narcissist.
• Haughty, arrogant and above the rest.
• Believes others are envious of them.
• Has a grandiose sense of self. Often exaggerates stories, or talents. Exaggerates achievements.
• Often exploits others. Uses people to get what they want, without regard for other's needs, desires or feelings.
• Envious of others. Often believes that others are envious of them.

Addictive Sex

I have heard people ask me, if there really is such a thing as addictive sex?  A sex addict does not believe that they are addicted. The biggest issue with an addict is their denial of their issues. When sex becomes your reason for living, governs your life, causes you to be late for work, miss appointments and generally is disruptive to the rest of your life, you have an addiction. When you put the need for sex above all else, an addiction is present. 

Accepting Less Than You Deserve

When we are in addictive relationships we accept mis-treatment, disrespect and being taken for granted. We accept less than we deserve. We tend to believe that if we don't keep this relationship and person that we won't have another one. Our feelings of unworthiness color our world. We begin to lose whatever self worth we have, the longer we stay, perpetuating our need to hang onto this person. The more needy we become, the less our partner wants to be with us. Our neediness becomes a painful downward cycle of deeper feelings of unworthiness and pain. It seems as if there is no way out. If this person dumps us, for someone new, we feel lost, without roots, ungrounded and flailing. Our work suffers, we talk incessantly about the relationship and our lost partner. If we have any friends left at all, they tire of our constant self pity and stories of how we lost the love of our life. - Our friends may try to tell us the truth, but we don't want to listen. Our pain of loss is so great, that we have no sense of who we are, we gave our selves away early on. We cannot see the truth if we fell over it.

Recovery From Addictive Relationships

When we are in the cycle of codependence and addition, it is difficult to see the forest for the trees. In other words, when we are in the middle of it, we can't see anything else. We cannot lift our vibration up enough to feel good about ourselves. If our relationship ends, we immediately seek another, as we feel our happiness and sense of self comes from a relationships. This could not be further from the truth. 

Serial Monogamy

We need help. When we are codependent, we will attract another person who will look different from our last partner, but the relationship and the issues will be very similar. It can be very difficult to move out of this alone. We might spend a lifetime going from one codependent relationship to another.

Steps To Take To Heal

1. Know you are important. Begin to think of your personal needs and take care of yourself first.
2. Stop giving up your schedule, routine for another person. When you make plans with friends keep them. 
3. Speak up for what you want. When we stay quiet, thinking if we speak up we will lose this person, we are making our needs irrelevant. You are important. Practice speaking the truth with people you feel safe with, like friends.
4. Do the things for yourself that make you feel strong. If you used to meditate daily, but gave it up for your partner, bring back your healthy, balanced routine.
5. We need more than one relationship to be balanced. If you gave up friends and family time in lieu of your relationship, know that you are giving up part of yourself. Spending time with friends and family is important. We all need more than one person to fulfill our needs. Expecting our love relationship to be the "be all and end all" is cutting out half of your life. When our partner excises us from friends and family, there is something wrong. This is a huge red flag.
6. Pay attention. When we ignore our own feelings, putting our partner's needs above our own, you can lose yourself. We can't blame the other person, we did this to ourselves. Changing behavior can require hiring a healed coach to do it.

This is my area of expertise.  Getting to the root cause of someone's issues is part of the process. Working with someone who has healed their own addictive behaviors and codependence will move you forward. They will help you to recognize your value. With clear focus, clearing the root cause of the addiction, you will begin to see the light of day. Your confidence will return and grow. You will begin to stand in the truth of who you are, and speak up for yourself. Instead of looking for validation and acceptance from others, you will find it within. You will stand in your power, feel confident and worthy. 

With Spiritual re-parenting your past is healed. You can live in the present, fully grounded and secure. Happiness comes from within. When we search for it outside of ourselves, we come up short. We wonder what happened, we give so much, surely we should be happy? This endless giving to others, rather than to ourselves, leaves us feeling empty and lost. Come home to YOUR PERSONAL POWER. Begin to love yourself today. You will begin to see how you can change your perspective and learn how to speak your truth about your own needs, rather than shelving them for someone else's agenda. 

Jennifer's Podcast on Addictive Love and Codependence

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a healed healer, author of Orgasm For Life.  Click here for Her website: 

Listen tonight to Jennifer on The Love Doctor:   For all those who missed Jennifer Elizabeth Masters last week discuss her new book "Orgasm for Life" you are in for a real treat as we go into round two. Don't miss your second chance as we discuss what's hot and what's not in the bedroom. Want to create more joy, pleasure, and fun in the bedroom or backseat of a car? Do you want the ulitimate orgasm and sexual experience of your life no matter what age? Are you living passionately today or just pushing through hoping to make it through to tomorrow? Over 80% of woman have faked the big O more than a couple of times and men too. You can have orgasms every time with some proven techniques and she's here to tell you how. intimacy and orgasms is the icing on the cake and improved sex lives make for lasting relationships. Jennifer Masters is a sex coach for women and has helped thousands of women achieve the big O. The Love Dr. and Ms. Master will discuss everything you wanted to know about sex but, were afraid to ask, Ladies grab your man take a seat and both of you take notes. We will be discussing everything from A-Z about sexual pleasure. The love lines are open Tues,June 17th 2014 9:00 pm est. 714-242-5155 For mature audiences only. blogtalkradio.com Love Dr. Radio