We meet someone and begin to fall in love. When they ask you to do something, you drop what you are doing, wanting to be with them more than anything. When you have arrangements with friends, you set them aside waiting for your LOVE to be available. As soon as he asks, you drop everything to spend time with him.
- Has a very strong sense of entitlement. Believes that they should receive special dispensation, and can only be understood by and associate with other high-level people or institutions.
- Believes that they are special or unique. (Yes everyone is unique, yet the narcissist believes they are MORE unique than anyone else.
- Lacks empathy. Will not, and cannot relate to others feelings.
- Cannot show sympathy. You will very rarely hear the words, "I am sorry from a narcissist.
- Haughty, arrogant and above the rest.
- Believes others are envious of them.
- Has a grandiose sense of self. Often exaggerates stories, or talents. Exaggerates achievements.
- Often exploits others. Uses people to get what they want, without regard for other's needs, desires or feelings.
- Envious of others. Often believes that others are envious of them.
- Know you are important. Begin to think of your personal needs and take care of yourself first.
- Stop giving up your schedule, routine for another person. When you make plans with friends keep them.
- Speak up for what you want. When we stay quiet, thinking if we speak up we will lose this person, we are making our needs irrelevant. You are important. Practice speaking the truth with people you feel safe with, like friends.
- Do the things for yourself that make you feel strong. If you used to meditate daily, but gave it up for your partner, bring back your healthy, balanced routine.
- We need more than one relationship to be balanced. If you gave up friends and family time in lieu of your relationship, know that you are giving up part of yourself. Spending time with friends and family is important. We all need more than one person to fulfill our needs. Expecting our love relationship to be the "be all and end all" is cutting out half of your life. When our partner excises us from friends and family, there is something wrong. This is a huge red flag.
- Pay attention. When we ignore our own feelings, putting our partner's needs above our own, you can lose yourself. We can't blame the other person, we did this to ourselves. Changing behavior can require hiring a healed coach to do it.
Jennifer's Podcast on Addictive Love and Codependence