By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
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| Sex heals |
Pleasure, touch and orgasm can heal the body. For most of us, when we think about sex, we think pleasure. How can pleasure heal? Touch lowers blood pressure. A simple hug can calm another person down. Think about the stroking of an arm, the massage of a thigh, a kiss on a belly. Each event excites and heals the body. Breathe.
Deepak Chopra has said that sex is the closest thing that most people experience of meditation. Meditation heals. It is a scientific fact that meditation reduces stress, heart disease and high blood pressure. Sex goes beyond meditation, involving touch, pleasure, and ecstasy. When we reach the pinnacle of pleasure in an orgasm, we experience something greater than ourselves. Eighty centers of the brain light up, during orgasm, that no other event a human can experience creates. We have a glimpse of our Divinity.
Abstinence even in moderation offers by contrast nothing for the mental, physical or emotional body.
Think about it this way; you and your partner disagree, an argument erupts both of you stomp off and sleep in separate beds. Imagine your partner coming into the bedroom, apologizing for being such a goofball (fill in the blank), and expressing to you how much he loves you. You open your arms to him, and you make love. How different is the result of your argument after you come together in the bliss of a sexual experience versus sleeping in separate rooms, or on your side of the bed?
Or for you men, perhaps she is the one that recognizes how unreasonable she has been and offered herself to you on the couch? What do you feel now? Your anger subsides, your blood pressure is lowered, you sleep snuggled together, rather than separately. The difference is immense.
Sex heals emotions, the mental body as well as the physical body. The letting go and surrendering to pleasure shifts everything in your physiology. The fight or flight response is removed. Don't take my word for it, Forbes Magazine explains what sex does for you in "Sex Does The Body Good," article here.
The Benefits of Sex
- Relieves depression. If that isn't enough for you, wait, there is more! Endorphins are released with mere hand-holding, imagine what an orgasm can do for you. Feel good hormones are released which give you a happy feeling. Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is released with hand-holding, kissing and orgasm.
- Cardiovascular Health. Regular sex reduces the risk of heart disease, lowers blood pressure and increases oxygenation of the blood. Queens University in Belfast studied 1,000 men over the course of their life and discovered that sex three times a week reduced the risk of stroke and heart disease by half.
- Pain Relief. The pain receptors in the brain are shut off during sex, relieving pain in the body.
- Migraine Relief. An orgasm will relieve the pain of a migraine. Masturbation is one way to go, making love with orgasm as the result will get you over the hump so to speak of intense pain.
- Weight Loss. A vigorous sexual workout will burn 200 calories. You could be walking on a treadmill, but hey, I would much rather a romp in the hay than walking on a machine, wouldn't you? Sex helps you tone muscles in your arms, belly, thorax, buttocks, thighs and even the pelvis. A British study determined that sex three times a week for a year will work off three Big Macs from McDonalds! Not that I recommend you eat fast food, but for grins and giggles maybe you might want to see what happens for you, with a sexual workout that occurs on a regular basis.
- Increases Testosterone. Ya Buddy! More sex, higher hormone levels.
- Increases Female Hormones. If you don't much feel like it, having more frequent sexual gymnastics you will have more natural lubrication, higher levels of hormones that help with weight loss.
- Decreases Tooth Decay. Even kissing will help reduce tooth decay. Think about what giving your man oral sex will do. He certainly is! Seminal fluid carries a magical punch of zinc, calcium, and minerals to inhibit tooth decay.
- Improved Sense of Smell. Can't stop and smell the roses? Sex will help you in that department too! Prolactin surges after sex which develops neurons in the olfactory bulb, your smell center.
- Increases Longevity. A study from Queens University in Belfast studied 1,000 men (mentioned above) over the course of their lifetime. They found that men who had higher rates had deaths at half the rate of those who were couch potatoes.
- Better Bladder Control. You may not care now, but as we age, sneezing can become a rush to the bathroom! When we use our pelvic floor muscles, PC muscles and squeeze during sex, the strengthens the pelvic floor and increases muscles control. The bladder can prolapse (come out of the vagina) when women don't hold in their bellies or strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. Kegels will help, if you don't have a partner at the moment.
- Sense of Well-Being. I could go on touting all the health benefits of sex, for days! You will feel happier with your life with more frequent sex and orgasm. What you will find is that you feel more connected with your partner, less likely to fight, argue, or criticize someone you are having blissful sex with three times a week.
- Good For Prostate Health. Men need orgasms for a healthy prostate. There are ways to massage the prostate, having regular orgasms is one of them. A finger inserted through the anus gently massaging the prostate can work just as well. The natural rhythm of orgasmic contractions gently massages the prostate naturally.
- Reduction in Blood Pressure Spikes. A physical, sexual encounter with a partner has a cascade effect on your blood pressure. The hormones released have a long-lasting effect keeping your blood pressure lower with fewer spikes when you have upsets.
Our sexuality is at the core of our personal being. Our self-esteem comes from living authentically grounded in our sexuality. Suicide and depression are often side-effects of not being able to express sexuality when it conflicts with what society believes is normal. Regular sex means more than once a month. In fact, this little joke below might give you some insight into the predominant understanding of American marriage:
Bob: "Did you know that the average man has sex 2-3 times a week, while Japanese people have sex 2-3 times a year?"
Frank: "I didn't realize I was Japanese!"
Bob: How do you get a woman to stop having sex?
Frank: I don't know, how?
Bob: Marry her!
We need to change this paradigm. I was in a sexless marriage, and I was the one that wanted to have sex. It isn't pleasant to have someone reject you. Over time, being rejected can be detrimental to our self-esteem. We begin to wonder what is wrong with us. A loving relationship involves regular sex. Sex is not the foundation but certainly does assist the communication and deepen the bond between a couple.
What's New?
Join me the first Thursday of each month at 7:00 PM PST, on Sex As Medicine, radio with Tibetan Tantra teacher Devi Ward. Devi Ward has had me on her show many times, we have great chemistry together
and a lot of fun. Devi is an amazing sex educator and advocates for healthy sexual expression for both women and men. This Thursday we are talking about vaginal orgasms. Is it possible for women to have vaginal orgasms? How can you get your woman to orgasm with your penis? Visit Devi's website here for additional information about Tantra courses in your area and on-line.
Last night, Devi Ward and I jointly co-hosted the last in a series on her show, Sex As Medicine. Our guest was Sex Therapist, and award-winning author, teacher, Shaman Gina Ogden, PhD. Gina has created a medicine wheel to use to help us get to the root of our emotional, physical, heart, and spiritual issues with sex.
Listen to this show here. You won't be disappointed. Gina brings spirituality into sex which is natural. Who created sex and orgasm anyway. Rather than being goal-oriented Gina talks about having a deeply connected sexual experience where someone touches your emotions and soul. 
