3 Ways We Unconsciously Turn Love Away

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

I have just returned from San Jose and a powerful three-day retreat with 700 of my closest friends:  healers and entrepreneurs. We committed to growing and shed our crap. I cried, I resisted, and I shifted my perspective in so many ways. 

When we are open to receive new perspectives, opportunities present themselves. I even posed for photos with an Iowa farm league hockey team! I have stepped up my game and opened my heart a little more. Opening my heart further is allowing me to be more vulnerable with my clients and in my writing. We will get back to my Orgasm For Life Book tomorrow.

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Being vulnerable means that we allow others to see us authentically. When we are vulnerable, we become more open to expressing our deepest truth. Opening the door of my heart is allowing me to reveal all that has changed in my perspective through a willingness to look at my shit! One of the issues I looked at this past weekend is my fear of men leaving me by dying. 

If a past event has been traumatic, we often hold that trauma in our cells without realizing it. The emotions of horror, terror, and fear stay within our cells. Consciously releasing trapped emotions from our bodies shifts the energy we emit. We attract what we are.

After enjoying our second date at the beach, we said our good-byes in the parking lot. As he got into his vehicle, I turned toward my car thinking briefly, "I wonder if I'll see him again?" The thought passed through me quickly. I didn't recognize the emotion that powered the thought. With a very slight turn of my head to the left, I felt a CRUNCH! My shoulder and neck seized up and was completely frozen. I was in immediate physical pain.  The physical manifestation of my emotions = PAIN! I knew I had created it. I had to pay attention to see what this was about for me.

My unconscious belief that all men die or leave was coming up with a vengeance. I have had two men die and three cheated. One event could leave someone scarred. Two deaths and three cheaters left me feeling untrusting of myself when it comes to choosing men. I listen carefully and watch to see if actions align. When words and actions are not congruent, it is a big sign that they aren't honest. The man I am dating had very similar core values to mine. He is authentic, honest and vulnerable.

I felt that my past experiences led to me being insecure in ways I hadn't been before. I had to step into the void and take a risk. If I didn't, I knew there wasn't a chance of finding love.

My shoulder and neck seizing up immediately after my date left were a sign I was beginning to feel something, and it scared the heck out of my body! Shoulders are all about our ability to carry out our experiences joyously. Neck problems are about refusing to see other sides of a question. Stubbornness and inflexibility are both issues related to the neck. Who me? Who's calling me stubborn? I thought I was pretty flexible. Maybe my body knows differently.

My shoulder began to heal while in San Jose. As I approached our third date, I noticed my shoulder was getting tighter and more painful. My body was telling me about my unconscious beliefs. Each time we were getting together, my shoulder seized up. Four times is a charm, right? I had fear stuck in my body from the death of these two

men. I found a man who was lovely, spiritual, kind, mindful, gentle, strong and tall. There was great potential here. Our age difference was my issue not his. I was afraid he would leave me or die. I am currently clearing this trapped emotion from my cells. Recognizing the problem is the first step. Awareness shifts everything.

3 Ways We Turn Love Away

1. Thinking you will never find anyone that will accept you.
2. Thinking you aren't good enough, young enough, pretty enough. ENOUGH! YOU ARE ENOUGH!
3. Making false judgments about what other people think about you. Oh yes, you do! We believe others are having certain thoughts about us: "You think I'm too old for you. You think I'm too fat! You think I'm not your type." Making a false assumption ruins our chances at finding lasting love. Assuming is a form of self-sabotage.

To be completely honest with you, I began dating a delightful man 17 years my junior. I talked about the elephant in the room on our first date. He said he was fine with it. I brought it up on our second date. He said, "I think you are beautiful!" He went on to say he found me to be a hottie. I had to recognize that my feelings were my feelings. I was projecting my insecurity (yes, I felt insecure about our age difference) on him. It was false. I have let it go! Own your crap and get out of your way!

FEAR: FALSE BELIEFS APPEARING REAL

Don't blame someone else for what you feel about you. In answer to your burning question: yes, we are still dating. We aren't rushing anything; we are allowing a friendship to grow and are building a foundation from the ground up. Sex too soon places the emphasis on the physical and diminishes a connection on a soul level. It can also show a lack

of respect for each other and creates a false impression of trust. How can you have trust when you don't know the other person? Trust is built in small increments a little at a time. Once you trust each other, an opening occurs, then love-making becomes soulful, reverent and sacred. That is what I want. What do you want? 

We All Have Issues

When we commit to grow and evolve, we turn our reflection inward toward ourselves. Resistance to notice what is going on inside ourselves causes us to blame others for our circumstances even our unhappiness. If we aren't growing and evolving, we are dying. 

How Can You Lovingly Accept All Of You?

Everyone has shadow selves. Our shadow self is the darkest parts of ourselves we would rather ignore. It could be old behavior, hoarding, blame, not accepting responsibility or emotions we haven't dealt with and released. Turning our focus inward and looking at ourselves with a soft focus is what my work is all about. When we look at our dark side, we shed light on it. With light and awareness, we begin to shift. We let go of old beliefs. We can be open to healing modalities to release energy and allow our truest version of ourselves to emerge:

1. Drop the baseball bat. Stop beating the crap out of yourself.
2. Let go of the magnifying glass. Focusing on your faults and flaws makes them bigger. Instead, lovingly accept ALL OF YOU! Focusing on your flaws isn't helping you; it is hurting you. See the good in you!
3. Soften your gaze. Look at yourself with eyes of love. Treat yourself as if you are your lover. 
4. Everything happens for a reason. Let go of the past. It served you well. It brought you to this place. It taught you a lesson. It made you who you are. It gave you a book or two to write. 
5. Be grateful for everything you have. Gratitude for the lessons, the pain, the sorrow, and the suffering is a way to accept yourself lovingly.
6. Let go. Holding onto old hurts makes us sick. If you can't let go on your own, hire a loving coach that has been where you are. We can't do this alone. It took me 30 years of searching, healing and deep introspection to become happy with me as I am - alone or with a partner. I can shorten the time it takes to get you there because I have been where you are. I know what works and what doesn't.

What You Are At Your Core

The soul essence of each and every individual on this planet is LOVE. Yes, my friends, everyone has love at their core. Our life circumstances, hurt, fears, anxiety all load us up with a pile of crap that doesn't serve us and bogs us down. I would love to partner with you to empower you to find the love within so that you too can live each day in harmony, happiness and love! 

Contact Jennifer for your FREE Discovery Session TODAY! 

If this article helped you,  please share it with a friend. Sharing is caring! If you are ready to take your life, relationship, or self-esteem to the next level, book your FREE discovery session right now! 

Aphrodite Effect is all about the effect of LOVE on all that we do. Venus was the Greek Goddess of love. She was an ageless beauty, powerful, strong, respected, sexual and knew who she was. She loved herself

fearlessly. Love gives us power, ageless beauty and deep connection. Set up your FREE discovery session with me here. JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

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Are You Waiting For Someone Else To Love You?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Are you waiting for a man to show up so that you can receive love? Are you wanting to be perfect before you begin to love yourself? What are you waiting for?

I remember feeling like I had to have a man in my life to feel loved. I felt I was not good enough. I felt unworthy. How do you feel about you? Are you trying to please someone? Are you looking for validation from a parent that never comes?

Most of us are plagued with feelings of unworthiness at some point in our lives. Getting from A to B can feel impossible. We might think we are pretty great, but that we are not lovable. We judge ourselves. We feel guilt, shame, disgrace. We doubt that God could love us. Fear can keep us stuck. We can feel filled with anxiety.

What if you were already infinitely loved by God himself. What if God loved even the darkest parts of you, just as much as the pretty parts? What if you were completely loved and accepted just as you are, without you doing another thing? Wouldn't that be amazing?

I have a message from your High Self. You are already loved. You are already accepted. This unworthiness is not real. The lack and focus on your imperfection is keeping you in suffering. We live in an illusion. This illusion is a projection from our minds. When you begin to love and accept ourselves, you recognize that all of these horrible thoughts we have had about ourselves is all made up. Our mind keeps us stuck. When we can dissolve all the ego-thoughts, and begin to live in our heart, we begin to see that THE MATRIX is just like the illusion that we live in. Our mind keeps us in prison. 

All we have to do is let go of the constructs that we have conjured up. We need to begin to see ourselves as already perfect, you are already healed. You are already completely loved and accepted as you are.

Each and every person already has the energy of love inside. It truly is there. This infinite love is there, just waiting for you to tap in. You don't have to be different, You don't have to change yourself. It is all about letting go.

Your Divine Self (High Self) is already love. The real you is love. We have a hard time feeling and receiving this because we are filled with self contempt, judgement, resentment, anger and fear. When we let go of all of this made up stuff, all there is - IS LOVE!

Everything in your past was just here to teach you who you are. All the events in your past was to bring you to love. When we resist life experience and love - we suffer. When we rail against our experiences we are pushing love away. When we react we are in suffering and ego-mind. All of your past was just an experience to teach you who you are. Each event was only present in your life to bring you to the fullness of who you are. 

When you love you - you open up to receive more. When we shut down and turn love away - we are not able to receive love. When we continue to look for love, acceptance and validation from the outside world, we don't receive it, because we are in resistance of it. If you don't give love to you FIRST, no one else can give it to you. When someone shows up, you will make all kinds of excuses and reasons why you can't be with the person who shows up for us. Because we don't love ourselves. We will make all kinds of excuses why we don't want to date someone. We long for love, but we reject it when it appears.

The more you love yourself, the more you can receive love. When you love yourself, you allow others to love you. 

No matter what you try to attain in life, you will still be you. If you don't love yourself, no amount of money will make you feel happy, or fill you with love. No relationship, vehicle, house, job, or person will ever fill you with love, if you don't love you first.

We Have To Choose Love For Ourselves

When you forgive yourself, for everything you have ever done, and anyone who has ever hurt you, so many things break away and dissolve. Forgiving events and people from the past, changes everything.

 

1. Move into Love and Gratitude for everything.
2. Be grateful for yourself.
3. Be grateful for today.
4. Be grateful for each moment.
5. Be grateful for the love inside of you.
6. Be grateful for the love outside of you.
7. Be grateful for the acceptance of you.

What Do I Have To Let Go OF?

• unforgiveness
• resentment
• anger
• hatred
• control
• fear 

What do you NOT NEED to be Loved?

You don't have to feel lovable

You don't have to be worthy

You don't have to be perfect

You don't have to be the perfect weight

You don't have to have the perfect job

You don't have to accomplish anything

You are already GOOD ENOUGH.

You are already worthy.

You are already perfect.

You are already LOVED! All you have to do is give it to YOU!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a catlystic coach. She helps you move out of fear, restriction and limitation. Your life begins to unfold in beautiful synchronistic ways. People show up in your life miraculously. Success in every area begins to unfold, like magic. Possibilities open when you love yourself. You are supported by The Universe. Your vibration brings you so much more than you ever imagined. Your life dreams begin to come true. You stop having to push your energy to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. They happen automatically FOR YOU! When you move into LOVE, The Universe supports you in every way.

You can reach Jennifer through her website: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com

Living Authentically

Living Authentically

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters July 14, 2013

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters, Grand Canyon, AZ 5/24/2013

Life is good. It is real good. It has not always been this way for me. I struggled with issues of guilt, self hatred and shame from early childhood. Even into adulthood I often felt ashamed of myself and I certainly wasn't happy. It did not matter how beautiful someone said I looked, I did not feel beautiful. In fact I felt ugly, dirty, unworthy, unlovable and lost. 

I now refer to those days as my old life, it feels so foreign to me now. I so wanted to be loved that I had to be in a relationship to feel whole. I felt like a three-legged table without someone in my life. I felt empty inside, depressed and negative. I needed someone to do what I couldn't do, love me. With each new man I hoped that he was THE ONE, my TRUE LOVE.  I spent unwisely when I was upset. I would use money allocated for rent, or utilities for clothes for myself. It was a compulsion. It seemed to be the only thing that made me feel better, if only for an hour or two. When I got paid the first thing I would do was to go and buy myself something expensive to make myself feel better. I had heard that it was important to feel good and we certainly were in a hedonistic society where making yourself feel better was supported by the media. Newer, bigger better was prevalent in all the commercials and billboards. I was not responsible for myself or my spending.

For Heaven Scapes, with my kids

I maxed out my credit cards and then could not make my payments. My behavior created more issues as I was not being a good steward of my money. I complained about my life because it really did suck! I had no idea that what I was doing was perpetuating more negativity and lack into my life. I had no idea that my money problems were being created by me and the thoughts that I was thinking. I was so shamed filled and negative that it made me physically ill. 

Sexual abuse in my childhood created shame, anger and guilt. I had no idea that I had inner rage that was being suppressed. The history of bladder infections from the time I was 21 was a sign of being pissed off, but at that time, I was totally unconscious (not awake and aware) and had no idea that my anger about the molestation created it. I was chronically depressed until I was in my 40s. I suffered from insomnia due to the depression. It was not until I began my healing process and began to heal my inner child and let go of the shame and self loathing that the depression lifted. It was tied to my repressed anger, I did not know was there. I did not know that repressed anger caused depression. Oh my God! When I released the anger I began to sleep better. The depression lifted. It was not a pill that made it go away, it was letting go of the past.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters and Ariel Resuta SFO, 2013

Ariel Resuta and her mom Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Boulder, Colorado Creek Fest 2013

The Path Of A Seeker

As I went to a hypnotherapist or healer for an issue and found out how magically and wonderfully it worked, I would sign up for the course and become certified in it. By the time I was 48 I had taken so many classes, courses and certifications I had the equivalent of a University education. Certainly every bit as costly. It was worth every penny. No amount of therapy or anti-depressants gave me the relief that getting to know who I was and loving myself as I was, did. I began to live in my truth, and followed my heart. I became a healer and certified life coach full time. I was passionate about healing and helping others to love themselves. I saw how it transformed my entire life.

Coming Into Alignment

Flagstaff Mtn. Boulder Colorado Jennifer

It was not a matter of me changing who I was. It was coming into alignment with my true self. Instead of being agreeable all the time, I said, "NO!" I began to take better care of my own needs, getting enough rest and meditating regularly. Instead of being with people who were negative, I steered clear of them, even if they were family. Especially if they were family. Changing patterns of behavior meant for me that I could not spend much time with those that helped me create my co-dependence. I healed my relationships with all of them. I forgave everyone. I knew they would never change. They were not on the path I was on. That was their choice. They expected me to be the same, but I wasn't. I am reminded of the story of the crab who attempted to escape from the cooking pot, as he/she gets to the top of the pot, the others pull the poor sucker back down to be miserable with the rest of them. That is what happens with family who don't change. They want to make you as miserable as they are. You can't let that happen. I love my mother where she is. I know at 91, change ain't gonna happen. She is who she is. I have accepted that. I can't change another. I can only change myself.

Living in the moment Coronado, CA

Changing others is a sign of co-dependency. I have been there multiple times, worn the t-shirt and donated it to Goodwill about 15 years ago. I stopped dating men who need rehabilitating or rehab. It is a pointless waste of my time and energy. I used to make men my projects. It took me out of my own pain and suffering thinking I was helping them. I wasn't. That was my ego making up stories to get me from realizing how I was suffering inside.

My oldest son, Adam Gates and me, Boulder, CO 2013

I used to be afraid of my husband. I was afraid to say what I thought. I was afraid to go against his edicts. I capitulated when he strongly disciplined my sons, against my inner wishes. I caved. I gave in, I had no will of my own.  The fear led me to feel even more guilt-ridden and ashamed. I began to move through fear. Divorcing him gave me freedom, it also helped me realize he was my biggest teacher. Of course he wouldn't respect me, I didn't have respect for myself! 


I learned along the way that our relationships are a mirror for ourselves. It is so much easier to blame another for what is going on in our lives than to focus on ourselves. Blame however, removes our responsibility. It takes our power away. When we step out of blame, it is a form of graduation. It raises us up to personal responsibility. When we become responsible for ourselves, we stop making excuses for being late not doing what we commit to. Excuses are dis-empowering. They reduce us in stature. Excuses are another form of blame. Blame is a low vibration as are guilt, shame and fear.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Kaibab Trail, Grand Canyon, 2013

Moving from Boulder, CO to California 2013

Being who I am is easy now. It does not cause me suffering. I don't feel guilty for being me. I can speak my truth. I am able to stand up for my beliefs. I don't cave in when I feel something isn't right for myself or my family. I stand up tall and feel beautiful. I don't make excuses for who I am or what I say. When I make a rule for my daughter, I feel good about it, instead of apologetic or guilty. I used to feel bad when I made unpopular decisions for my family even when it was in every one's best interest. I don't feel guilty for anything anymore. I look 10 years younger than I did 10 years ago. I lost the 20 pounds that had hung on when I didn't feel good about myself, effortlessly. It is funny how everything works better when you love yourself completely. 

I began to take what others would call risks. I began to really live in the moment. If I was driving down and road and saw something that looked interesting, I made a bee-line for it. I experienced beauty wherever I was. My daughter might groan at first, then she found herself enjoying the experience of spontaneity as well. Our life had more joy and wonderment living in the moment. Instead of planning everything, life took on an organic movement to it. Vacations became spontaneous. I trusted my inner guidance, and it never ever failed me. Selling my landscape business in 2011, moving from Georgia to Colorado were huge. After 1 year in Boulder, Colorado, and the death of Ariel's father, we needed a change. Listening to inner guidance, we moved to the Mojave desert in California. These decisions were made in the blink of an eye. We were packed and in California within two weeks of deciding. Confidence comes from living authentically. Standing in your truth. Being who you are, and LOVING WHO YOU ARE BEING. Living in the moment instead of the past or the future was part of my healing. Stepping into my BIG SELF, or my High Self became a natural and organic part of this transformation into enlightenment. Living authentically eradicates fear. I used to live in the gray area, of no decision. Wavering on life. It is very painful there. There is no peace when you live in the gray area. Not only do you hurt yourself when you are undecided, but you also hurt others. Living authentically and being true to yourself means that you are compassionate with yourself and others. 

My handsome sons, Adam and David Gates

I stopped judging others and focused on myself and what I was experiencing. I began to live instead of exist. I spent time in Spiritual practice every day, without fail. Meditation began my day and gave me a solid foundation for success. Coming into stillness with myself was the calming influence that helped me begin my day from a place of peace and grounding that transcended the chaos that was my former life. I was grateful for everything I had. I learned to do without things I did not need. I only bought what gave me joy. I was much more careful with spending and liked my life clutter free. Nick-knacks and objects no longer were the focus, instead my relationships were always in the forefront of my mind. I only spent time with people I wanted to. I spent a lot of time alone. I regrouped and rebooted when I was alone. I made sure I got enough rest, healthy food and lots of laughter. I stopped watching the news 17 years ago. I had not read the newspaper since the 80's. I only watched comedies and movies that helped me grow. Documentaries and knowledge held the power for me. I was no longer static or stagnating. I was constantly growing and evolving. Learning and growing with each experience. When people criticized me, I listened and thought about what they said. I checked inside to feel if there was merit or truth in their words. I did not get upset with the messenger. I stopped taking things personally and my emotions no longer ruled my world. I stopped looking for THE ONE, at every turn years ago. I was happy with me and could be happy living the rest of my life by myself. I trusted that if it was to be, I would not have to look for it, he would find me.

Happiness and Joy

Happiness and joy was what I breathed. It replaced suffering and depression. Love filled my heart. The more I loved myself, the more love and happiness exuded from me. Instead of meeting a world of angry people, I found life to be joyous and a wonderful expression of me. I still experienced emotions deeply. Instead of repressing emotions I allowed myself to feel them fully and in moments they were gone. I became a magnet for new clients who wanted to work with me, because they could feel my energy. When I did psychic fairs clients told me repeatedly that they picked me because I felt so grounded. The higher I vibrated, the more money flowed in. I became fearless, which aligned me for prosperity. There is recognition that we are spiritual beings experiencing our humanity, rather than the other way around.

Contact Jennifer through e-mail, or through her website.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Beverly Hills Hotel, 7/7/2013

Jennifer is Self Actualized and enlightened. She is a certified hypnotherapist, relationship life coach, Master Energy healer, ordained minister speaker and author. Her ability to channel creates a coaching experience like none other. Hearing the voice of The Divine, creates a high level experience for the client which bypasses the unconscious, clearing the way for true healing and growth to occur quickly. For those deeply committed to personal and spiritual growth, Jennifer offers a free 15 minute consultation to see if there is a good fit. She works with those deeply committed to personal growth to Love Yourself Fearlessly. She has created a process to help her clients love themselves compassionately, clear patterns of self sabotage and live authentically. Those truly committed to deep spiritual growth can choose private intensives to deeply connect to their High Self in each moment. Jennifer leads intensive retreats to Maui, Bali, and India several times a year. Read more about Self Actualization here.

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