By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Maya Angelou said, "You have to be a darn good man to be better than no man at all."
We find men in all different shapes, sizes and personality types. Most women look for sexual attraction first, when selecting a mate. Is sexual attraction the most important criteria to use when looking for a man? What are the secrets to finding a man who will be faithful, committed, kind, loving and attentive?
Our initial response to a potential mate may be chemical or physical attraction. Looks fade with age and the passing of time. What matters more in a long-term relationship is their inner character and what is inside. If your guy is incredibly good-looking, know that other women will find him attractive as well.
Women often make the mistake of tarring all men with monikers we would be embarrassed to have ourselves. Not all men are sleazebag infidels and abusers. Making all men wrong, means we have not healed ourselves from past hurts. We can only attract what we are. If we are cold-hearted, sleep-around bitches, it is doubtful we will have the ability to attract and sustain a relationship with a man who is open-hearted, loving and faithful. If we are obsessive compulsive and critical, we might attract someone we can push around, but do we really want a man who will be silly putty in our hands?
To attract a man with an open heart, emotionally available with strong character, we have to be open-hearted, emotionally available and have strong character as well. If we are still harping incessantly about our ex who cheated and stole from us, we have not gotten over the past. Forgiveness of ourselves for attracting this person is the first step. If you can't do this on your own, it is time to hire a coach that can help you put the past where it belongs - in the past.
Healing From The Past Means Personal Growth
Chalking up past relationships to lessons and gifts takes intestinal fortitude and inner work. Each relationship teaches us more about ourselves, what we think, feel and are. If we continue to attract men who are unfaithful cheaters, we need to begin to look at how we deny the truth to ourselves about who we are. Life is all about forward movement, onward and upward personal development and betterment. We find ourselves somewhere along the twists and turns of life, when we finally realize that the common denominator in all our failed relationships was da da da dah...... drum roll, please - us~ we have really begun to be honest with ourselves and heal.
It Take Two To Tango
We have been part of the past relationships as well. Looking at ourselves is key to resolving the conflict of the past. If we have attracted abusers, we have little or no self respect and low self esteem. Changing our own patterns will help us to attract better partners of strong character.
What Are The Signs of A Good Catch?
- He has good self esteem.
- He is a person of integrity. (Honest, transparent)
- Emotionally mature and open. (A man versus a boy)
- Positive attitude.
- Committed to personal growth.
- Would be open to counseling and getting help.
- Financially responsible, has a steady job and bank account.
Deal Breakers
No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws and faults. Knowing which flaws are deal breakers is important. If he leaves the toilet seat up every day, but treats you like a Queen, respects you, adores you and puts you first in his decisions, these aspects are more important than a habit that can be broken. Thinking that you can change a man's character is flawed thinking. It is also an aspect of codependence.
If you enter into a marriage thinking from the beginning that you will divorce him, if things don't work out, don't bother getting married. Divorce should never be an option going into a marriage.
If your man cheated on his ex, he will just as likely cheat on you. Your love will not change him, no matter how much you think it will. The signals to watch for are listed on the left and the red flags are listed in all caps on the right. If you think you can change your man - you are in bigger trouble than he is. I would throw in the towel right now, if I were you. The red flags you don't want to ignore are signs of much bigger issues ahead.
- Puts you down in front of your friends (ABUSE AHEAD).
- Is insanely jealous. (LOW SELF ESTEEM AND ABUSE AHEAD).
- Anger when questioned, irrational frustration and anger. Even a hint of anger.(EMOTIONAL ABUSE, ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR AND DISRESPECT)
- Jumps from job to job, or has no job at all. (NOT RESPONSIBLE)
- Makes excuses for himself. (IMMATURITY, LACK OF PERSONAL GROWTH AND RESPONSIBILITY).
- Not there when you need him. (WILL NOT BE AROUND FOR SURGERY, CANCER, OR ILLNESS)
- Cheats on you. (THIS WILL NEVER CHANGE LEOPARDS DO NOT CHANGE THEIR SPOTS)
- Addictions of any kind. (YOU CANNOT CHANGE GAMBLING, SEX ADDICTION, DRUG ADDICTION, OR SPENDING
- Doesn't like your family.
- Doesn't like your friends.
- Doesn't share your beliefs.
- Doesn't want to talk about deep and profound issues. (SUPERFICIAL, LACK OF INTIMACY AND DEPTH)
- Competitive with you. (EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY)
If your man has any of the issues above, give him a pass. These are issues that will be deal breakers in 5 or 10 years. Starting a marriage or long-term relationship with any of these will kill your relationship and become bigger issues as time goes by.
So What Is The Secret?
- Know You are Worthy.
- Don't accept poor treatment just to have SOMEONE.
- The more you love and accept yourself the more you radiate love out into the world and the better person you will attract.
- You are the key to finding love.
- Love begins and ends with you. Be loving to yourself. Be accepting of you. Love, honor and respect you and you will have this love returned to you by the bucket load.
Opening The Door
Loving acceptance of YOU, means you open the door to infinite options. Men will be lining up at your door in droves, no matter your age. The more filled with love you are the more you magnetize love to you. Most women have the belief that there is only ONE man for her. Yet, there are millions of options available in The Universe. Jennifer will help you see the LIGHT!
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author,
her books are available on Amazon.com She is an inspirational speaker who has been on hundreds of radio interviews. Her coaching is unique. As a Master energy healer, hypnotherapist, and healed healer, she has experienced her own challenges in the past, and overcome depression, abuse, yet, today is living in the present, in joy, inner peace and shares her wisdom as a catlystic life, love and sex coach.
Her website is JenniferElizabethMasters.com
You may book a session with Jennifer to see how her unique coaching style of channeled Divine Guidance can shift your perspective and redefine love for you. Happiness is possible, through loving acceptance of the self. Jennifer has done it herself and shares her gifts with the world. Be one of the hundreds who has changed their view of life and love with Jennifer's loving and direct coaching. She is offering a course in November with Shaneetha Akinlana: Finding your SOUL CONNECTION: Twin Flames, Soul Mates
Our initial response to a potential mate may be chemical or physical attraction. Looks fade with age and the passing of time. What matters more in a long-term relationship is their inner character and what is inside. If your guy is incredibly good-looking, know that other women will find him attractive as well.