3 Reasons New Isn't Always Better

by Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

The latest I-Phone, a flashy new computer, or a new (partner) or vacuum may seem exciting at first till we get them home and recognize that what we had previously was so much better than the new one we just landed. Today I share my story of thinking new would be better and what I discovered about human nature and myself. 

My experience is about a vacuum cleaner. It could just as easily have been about a cell phone or a man. The similarities and lessons are the same. How can a vacuum cleaner that doesn't suck be like a man, you ask? Listen and learn!

I have a house full of rescued animals. I love my animals, but they shed. My Hoover vacuum packed it in and just stopped sucking. I cleaned all my filters and decided arbitrarily and without research, it was easier just to buy another. I could have taken it to a repair shop. I could have attempted to fix it myself. I made the judgment that it would cost almost as much as a new one. Listening to my daughter's advice, I went to Target and made a selection, even though I could have gotten something better at Costco.

Honestly, I didn't do my usual research, "It was just a vacuum," I thought. The first use of my new vacuum got me excited. Instead of a vacuum that didn't suck, I had one that did! I was ecstatic! After one use, however, I recognized that the system to clean out all the pet hair, dirt and dander was disgusting.

Instead of having a central area that could be easily removed and dumped with ease, the new vacuum had several areas that needed to be cleaned out by hand. It was impossible to empty the collection area without getting dirty and dumping debris all over the vacuum and floor.

My Discovery About My Latest Purchase

1. It wasn't as good as my previous one. After closer inspection what I thought was so wonderful, wasn't. I was hugely disappointed. In fact, I wished I could go to the dump and retrieve my old vacuum. I felt regret that I had given up so soon on my old vacuum and didn't try to fix it. Now I had to put up with a lesser quality system that made me angry every time I had to empty it, which was every use.
2. There was a cost I hadn't anticipated. I paid more money for this new vacuum. Every time I used it, I said to myself, "I hate this thing!" I felt bad every time I realized that I didn't recognize what I had previously. Why oh why didn't I work on the old one and save myself the time and aggravation.
3. I was committed to the new one. I spent my money and had used the vacuum. I couldn't return it. I couldn't get my old vacuum back. I had to stay with my present vacuum until it died, or waste money and buy a second one. 

How often do we give up what we have thinking a newer model would be better and find out that we made a huge mistake. Just because something is new, doesn't make it better. In fact, sometimes knowing the one we have will allow us to work around the shortcomings in other ways.

Then The Worst Happened...

My new vacuum crapped out on me. It stopped doing what vacuums do best - suck. I returned from a two-week vacation to find my house filled with cat hair and a vacuum that wasn't working. At first, I thought, I will have to buy a new one. My next thought was, "I can't fix this!" When I realized that I was saying NO to The Universe and opportunities, I changed my thoughts into a YES! In fact, a "Hell YES!" 

I Asked Questions

I knew I tossed my previous vacuum aside prematurely. I learned from this lesson. I asked if there was a way I could learn how to fix my vacuum. Ah! The Internet! I went to my trusty computer and found a site for the Do-it-yourselfers. I read enough to feel confident and got out my tools. I opened up the back of the vacuum and unscrewed the panel and found where the hose was clogged to capacity. I used a hangar to pull out the horrible stuff and voila! My vacuum worked better than it had in months.

This vacuum cleaner taught me some very valuable lessons. These lessons can be applied to dating, marriage and relationships. How often do we give up on a relationship because we don't know how to fix it? How often do we avoid talking because we have blocked emotions and reactivity getting in the way of smooth communication and understanding?

Lessons Learned

1.  I discovered positive traits in my new vacuum, I didn't previously notice when I stopped being so negative and judgemental about it. There were washable filters which I didn't have to replace monthly that saved me money. When they were clean my vacuum operated exceptionally well.
2. Once I learned how, it got easier to take care of my new vacuum, I found it infinitely easier going forward. Yes, I still had to get my hands dirty each time I emptied the receptacle, but it worked so well when I did. 
3. My judgment made things worse. Once I got out of my own way and realized I can do this, we worked together to make things work. I kept the vacuum filters cleaned and emptied and it began to suck like it was meant to!
4. New isn't the answer. Instead, work on what you've got, getting a new anything isn't necessarily the answer when the issue is within. 

If your relationship sucks, or doesn't suck, isn't it time to get the help you need to keep it chugging along at its highest and best? If you are in a space of ready to take your relationship to the dump, maybe you need to set up a FREE discovery session of 40 minutes where I impart valuable tools for you to begin using right now and find out if my work is a good fit for you. 


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Tests And More Tests in The Dating Pool

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Have you ever felt that you were being tested? Maybe you made a commitment to yourself and The Universe, or God, that you will only date men who are ______ (angry, addicts, alcoholics, married fill in the blank). Or maybe, for the gentlemen out there, you made a commitment to yourself to only have protected sex, or to only date women that _________( who have been divorced for over two years, don't smoke, want to have sex, fill in the blank). Whatever the commitment that you made, there will be opportunities to see if you really meant what you said.

Just because a situation presents itself, does not mean you have to say YES! In other words, the next person you meet does not have to be someone that you date. In fact, once you have made a commitment to yourself, if you don't follow through and stick to your guns, another test will follow and another test and another. Until you show The Universe that you mean what you say. the testing will continue.

Breaking Patterns

When we are working to break through a pattern we have had for many years, the testing is like a good friend asking you, "Are you really sure about this?" Opportunities present themselves for us to stand up for ourselves, validate our commitments and follow through. Following are a couple of examples:

You decide that you are done with alcoholics and other addictive personalities. You recognize that you have a pattern of attracting

this type of partner. Perhaps your father was an alcoholic and this pattern of partner keeps turning up for you. You have made a concerted effort to break through this pattern.

The next gorgeous man or woman you meet is friendly, affable, interesting and charismatic. Still, there is a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that the dates you have been on have all been associated with pubs, bars and drinking. You stick it out anyway, even though you have a nagging feeling. Weeks later, you determine your suspicions were correct they are an alcoholic. What happened to your super sleuth skills? 

Sometimes We Give A Bad Risk Too Much Time

Most of us have a tendency to give people second, third and fourth chances, even after the red flags have been waving in our faces since we first met this person. We ignore the red flags. We often even ask questions about the issue and listen to the excuses or lies the other person gives us instead of listening to ourselves. If we

don't trust ourselves, we tend not to listen to our gut instinct. This can be very dangerous. It is how many people end up repeating the same bad relationships over and over. To break the cycle, we have to change our response. We need to get faster at recognizing red flags and warning signs. 

Trust Your Gut

Your body never lies. There are several ways that your body talks to you. You may feel a stomach drop, a lump in your throat, or a gut instinct that something isn't kosher. Listen to your gut. Trust your self. 

The Universe is Abundant....  There are Plenty of People to Date!

When you walk away from a relationship because of a serious issue, you are standing up for yourself. You are telling The

Universe, I won't do this again (hopefully... till the next time, I do it again). Some of us repeat the same thing quite a few times before we really get it. That's okay. When you finally do learn the lesson, you will be so DONE that you will be sure it won't happen again. You will begin to smell them coming! Using your discernment to recognize the people that aren't good for you is a skill. It also takes some courage. After you have dated one bi-polar person or narcissist, you will be watchful of the signs and avoid a repeat. 

The truth of the matter is that when you say, "NO!" you are closing a door. When you close one door another will open. It is better to leave a relationship with no one in the wings (closing the door). Once the door is closed, another person will present themselves. Don't stay for fear that there won't be another person that will date you. This is demonstrating lack consciousness. The Universe is abundant. There are lots more where this one came from! Remember! You are so much better than that. You deserve to be loved. You are worthy! 


Jennifer Elizabeth Masters became enlightened and self actualized in 2012. She is able to assist you come to a loving acceptance of yourself. When you are committed to your self growth and self discovery, she helps you overcome the following:

• low self esteem
• depression
• apathy
• loneliness
• suicidal tendencies
• chaos
• lack of focus
• living in the past or future
• unhappiness
• sadness
• nervousness
• fears
• health issues
• Fibromyalgia
• Epstein Barr Syndrome
• arthritis
• sexual dysfunction

Working with Jennifer you will see your self esteem rise to great heights. Apathy dissolves along with depression and sadness. You become totally present in the moment. Jennifer has healed all of these issues above as well as breast cancer in herself. She has the tools to help you do it too. She is certified as a Hypnotherapy Trainer, Neurolinguistic Programming Practitioner, A Master Energy Healer. All of these are used in her catalystic coaching.

How does she do it?

Great question. Jennifer is a catalyst and a spiritual pathfinder. She helps you align with your true high self. She helps you come into loving acceptance of you. When you love and accept yourself, your world changes drastically. Instead of attracting relationships that don't work, you fine people and situations that support you. Life becomes a joy to experience. Loneliness dissolves. Your mind quiets and you feel serene, peaceful and your creativity soars. 

If you have struggled with life, love and relationships all your life, isn't it time you took the first step? Contact Jennifer now through her private e-mail. She has room for two committed clients now. Her book is filling up, so don't wait. Once her new radio show Straight Up Sex Talk begins, there will be less time on her calendar. She gives each of her clients her undivided attention and is fully present with you.

JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

Buy Jennifer's Books Here:  Orgasm For Life

5 Secrets To Finding A Good Catch

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Maya Angelou said, "You have to be a darn good man to be better than no man at all."

We find men in all different shapes, sizes and personality types. Most women look for sexual attraction first, when selecting a mate. Is sexual attraction the most important criteria to use when looking for a man? What are the secrets to finding a man who will be faithful, committed, kind, loving and attentive?

Our initial response to a potential mate may be chemical or physical attraction. Looks fade with age and the passing of time. What matters more in a long-term relationship is their inner character and what is inside. If your guy is incredibly good-looking, know that other women will find him attractive as well.

Women often make the mistake of tarring all men with monikers we would be embarrassed to have ourselves.  Not all men are sleazebag infidels and abusers. Making all men wrong, means we have not healed ourselves from past hurts. We can only attract what we are. If we are cold-hearted, sleep-around bitches, it is doubtful we will have the ability to attract and sustain a relationship with a man who is open-hearted, loving and faithful. If we are obsessive compulsive and critical, we might attract someone we can push around, but do we really want a man who will be silly putty in our hands?

To attract a man with an open heart, emotionally available with strong character, we have to be open-hearted, emotionally available and have strong character as well. If we are still harping incessantly about our ex who cheated and stole from us, we have not gotten over the past. Forgiveness of ourselves for attracting this person is the first step. If you can't do this on your own, it is time to hire a coach that can help you put the past where it belongs - in the past. 


Healing From The Past Means Personal Growth

Chalking up past relationships to lessons and gifts takes intestinal fortitude and inner work. Each relationship teaches us more about ourselves, what we think, feel and are. If we continue to attract men who are unfaithful cheaters, we need to begin to look at how we deny the truth to ourselves about who we are. Life is all about forward movement, onward and upward personal development and betterment. We find ourselves somewhere along the twists and turns of life, when we finally realize that the common denominator in all our failed relationships was da da da dah...... drum roll, please - us~ we have really begun to be honest with ourselves and heal.

It Take Two To Tango

We have been part of the past relationships as well. Looking at ourselves is key to resolving the conflict of the past. If we have attracted abusers, we have little or no self respect and low self esteem. Changing our own patterns will help us to attract better partners of strong character. 


What Are The Signs of A Good Catch?

1. He has good self esteem.
2. He is a person of integrity. (Honest, transparent)
3. Emotionally mature and open. (A man versus a boy)
4. Positive attitude.
5. Committed to personal growth.
6. Would be open to counseling and getting help.
7. Financially responsible, has a steady job and bank account.

Deal Breakers

No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws and faults. Knowing which flaws are deal breakers is important. If he leaves the toilet seat up every day, but treats you like a Queen, respects you, adores you and puts you first in his decisions, these aspects are more important than a habit that can be broken. Thinking that you can change a man's character is flawed thinking. It is also an aspect of codependence. 

If you enter into a marriage thinking from the beginning that you will divorce him, if things don't work out, don't bother getting married. Divorce should never be an option going into a marriage. 

If your man cheated on his ex, he will just as likely cheat on you. Your love will not change him, no matter how much you think it will. The signals to watch for are listed on the left and the red flags are listed in all caps on the right. If you think you can change your man - you are in bigger trouble than he is. I would throw in the towel right now, if I were you. The red flags you don't want to ignore are signs of much bigger issues ahead.

1. Puts you down in front of your friends (ABUSE AHEAD).
2. Is insanely jealous. (LOW SELF ESTEEM AND ABUSE AHEAD).
3. Anger when questioned, irrational frustration and anger. Even a hint of anger.(EMOTIONAL ABUSE, ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR AND DISRESPECT)
4. Jumps from job to job, or has no job at all. (NOT RESPONSIBLE)
5. Makes excuses for himself. (IMMATURITY, LACK OF PERSONAL GROWTH AND RESPONSIBILITY).
6. Not there when you need him. (WILL NOT BE AROUND FOR SURGERY, CANCER, OR ILLNESS)
7. Cheats on you. (THIS WILL NEVER CHANGE LEOPARDS DO NOT CHANGE THEIR SPOTS)
8. Addictions of any kind. (YOU CANNOT CHANGE GAMBLING, SEX ADDICTION, DRUG ADDICTION, OR SPENDING 
9. Doesn't like your family.
10. Doesn't like your friends.
11. Doesn't share your beliefs.
12. Doesn't want to talk about deep and profound issues. (SUPERFICIAL, LACK OF INTIMACY AND DEPTH)
13. Competitive with you. (EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY)

If your man has any of the issues above, give him a pass. These are issues that will be deal breakers in 5 or 10 years. Starting a marriage or long-term relationship with any of these will kill your relationship and become bigger issues as time goes by.

 So What Is The Secret?

1. Know You are Worthy.
2. Don't accept poor treatment just to have SOMEONE.
3. The more you love and accept yourself the more you radiate love out into the world and the better person you will attract.
4. You are the key to finding love. 
5. Love begins and ends with you. Be loving to yourself. Be accepting of you. Love, honor and respect you and you will have this love returned to you by the bucket load. 

Opening The Door

Loving acceptance of YOU, means you open the door to infinite options. Men will be lining up at your door in droves, no matter your age. The more filled with love you are the more you magnetize love to you. Most women have the belief that there is only ONE man for her. Yet, there are millions of options available in The Universe. Jennifer will help you see the LIGHT!

Better Love, Better Sex with Devi Ward Interview with Jennifer

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, her books are available on Amazon.com She is an inspirational speaker who has been on hundreds of radio interviews. Her coaching is unique. As a Master energy healer, hypnotherapist, and healed healer, she has experienced her own challenges in the past, and overcome depression, abuse, yet, today is living in the present, in joy, inner peace and shares her wisdom as a catlystic life, love and sex coach. Her website is JenniferElizabethMasters.com

You may book a session with Jennifer to see how her unique coaching style of channeled Divine Guidance can shift your perspective and redefine love for you. Happiness is possible, through loving acceptance of the self. Jennifer has done it herself and shares her gifts with the world. Be one of the hundreds who has changed their view of life and love with Jennifer's loving and direct coaching. She is offering a course in November with Shaneetha Akinlana: Finding your SOUL CONNECTION: Twin Flames, Soul Mates

Twin Flame Lessons

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Twin Flames come in for a very short time. to teach us something profound. Often our Twin Flames are married to someone else, which means we can't be together. A Twin Flame relationship is very different than a Soul Mate relationship. A Soul Mate relationship can last years. A Soul Mate relationship is often tumultuous, bringing up your deepest issues. 

The connection of a Twin Flame relationship is unsurpassed. A Twin Flame connection can be felt coming for years. You know the instant that you meet that there is something very special. When you finally embrace, magic happens. The love overwhelms you.

I have had many women and men ask me, "Why would I meet my Twin Flame if I am not to be with them?" Usually, your Twin Flame comes in to teach you how to love and accept yourself AS YOU ARE! 

John Armbruster was charismatic, sexy, intelligent and loved me unconditionally. I found out after his death that he was with another woman when he traveled north to meet with the Native American council. This confirmed my suspicions. There was some missing time in John's travels. I felt something wasn't right. I asked him about it at the time, but he hedged and avoided.

John Armbruster admitted to being a sex addict. Although he had worked on this issue, it still plagued him. He couldn't be faithful. He lied about other things as well. I caught him smoking while we were on the phone. He told me he only smoked the ceremonial pipe. I knew he was smoking other things. He thought I couldn't tell. I was very aware and observant. It was difficult to put something past me. He commented on that fact many times.

He did not overcome his issues with his children. He had difficulty with forgiveness. John was very evolved. When I brought up an issue with him, he listened. He would admit his faults openly. He knew himself well. He had daily spiritual practice, which helped me recognize that I needed to meditate daily, pray more and be in touch with the earth and God's creatures for messages. Birds, deer and other animals give us messages. John reminded me to be observant, notice and feel what they were telling me. (I was already doing this, but his teachings took it a step deeper.)

For two years after John's death, Blue Herons would be present in the sky, on my pond and around the places I traveled to. He continued to send me messages through the Blue Herons.

What Does A Twin Flame Teach Us?

1. They often help you see what your path is.
2. They teach you loving acceptance of self.
3. They teach you that although they are very special, they aren't perfect. No one is.
4. They teach you that we all have issues, but you need to love yourself anyway - ALL OF YOU. Not just the parts that are easy to love and accept. 
5. We all have a shadow self. This part needs special love and attention to be completely integrated within the self, rather than cordoned off and segregated.

Read the entire story here.

My Twin Flame Part I - A True Story of Profound Love
My Twin Flame Part II

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a catalystic coach. She helps you see your issues and come to loving acceptance of the self. She is self-actualized and awakened. You can reach her for a discovery session or interview here. Visit her website: AphroditeEffect.com

Buy her books here: 
Orgasm For Life on Amazon.com

Odyssey Victim To Victory on Amazon.com

The Art Of Surrender

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Many of us fight with life, others and ourselves. Letting go of the need to be right, or fix a situation comes from our small selves, our ego-mind. If you are at war with an ex, a community, or person, try surrendering and see the amazing results. We can only see a situation in 2, possibly 3 dimensions. Yet, The Universe can send us a resolution we never dreamed of. The power of surrender can change a situation instantly. 

I recently met with a client who told me that she has felt the need to speak out, stand up and go to war with teams, communities and friends. Boy, oh boy, I do remember feeling that I needed to fight with my exes. I fought for custody, money and material things. Looking back there are many things that I am able to see through new eyes. As we relinquish control we let go of fear and stand in faith. When we have faith that all will work out for every one's best - it magically does.

Let me tell you my extraordinary experience with surrender. It will change the way you think about divorce, marriage, relationships and life in general. Life is not supposed to be one big war. Our smaller selves, make it that way. When we have inner conflict, we fight with others. We try to change situations. We attempt to extract our own agenda. When we are at war there is no harmony in our lives, or within us. Peace does not come to those who are at war.

Win The Battle Lose The Relationship War

When I divorced my third ex-husband, Rich Resuta, I felt vindicated, I felt right. He was abusive, controlling and had affairs. He lied, cheated and did not want to pay child support. I wanted to make him pay. I wanted to make him pay for what he did to me. I was angry after our marriage ended. I had good reason to be, so I thought. 

Rich insisted on shared custody. In this scenario, he did not have to pay child support. Each time we went to court, he won. When we met with the mediator, the mediator asked me to step out of the room and made a side deal with my ex. I was flabbergasted. This type of thing should NEVER happen in a mediated situation. I studied, did my homework and even bought a book, "Custody War." I was at war.

I fought for full custody, which is what my 7-year old daughter wanted. She cried every Sunday night when she was with me, knowing the very next day after school her father would have her for the next week. She had no roots, no home, because she was like a ping pong ball going back and forth between us. When she got sick, Rich had no idea what to do. I had to go to his house and bring Ariel whatever she needed at the time. I had to comfort her on numerous occasions.

Ariel would cry at his house wanting me. She missed me. So I fought for her rights. The guardian ad litem did not believe a word I said, or anything Ariel said. Thinking that Rich was telling the truth. When Ariel spoke up about what she wanted, the guardian thought I was filling her head with ideas, because that was what Rich told her. He schmoozed her. Flirted with her and kept the truth from her. So I fought for Ariel.

Each time I went to court, I spent almost $10,000. Hearing after hearing, I would leave the court in tears. I never won. I always left feeling that I had my face down in the dirt. I felt lowly. I felt beaten. 

It was after a particularly long and grueling battle, where I asked friends, family members for letters about my parenting, and my relationship with my daughter. I was armed with photos of our life together, with animals, pets, and her brothers. I prepared for months. I toiled over the book with the letters and photos. Handing it over to the court system, I waited for the verdict. Shared custody remained. I felt shattered. On the way home, I had a conversation with my high self. I asked questions. I got answers. 

Surrender - Where The Magic Begins

October 18th, 7 years after the onset of our custody battle, I made a huge decision that would change my life. Upon returning to my daughter, I told her I was giving up the fight. I was putting my boxing gloves away. Every time I fought, I lost. I knew there was a huge message here for me. I told Ariel she needed to tell her father what she wanted. I would no longer go to court to try to win. She felt hurt. She felt I did not want her to live with me full time. I told her that was not it at all. Of course I loved her. I wanted her to have a steady home, in one place more than ever. I just chose to not fight with her father any more.

Rich had moved in with his sister across town. It took him 45 minutes to drive Ariel to school during rush hour. I did not question his choice. I let it go. Ariel complained to me about the long drive, but she loved begin near her aunt and uncle. I knew that some good would come out of this.

Three months later almost to the day, Rich called me at 9:00 AM. I will never forget his words. "Do you still want Ariel to live with you full time?" "DO I?!!!!" I was ecstatic. "Of course, I do." Rich told me that his financial situation had taken a bad turn. He had to move in with someone. He would not be able to have Ariel stay wherever he was living. He moved in with his girlfriend, but was very private about that part. I did not ask. I knew he felt lost, sad and very disheartened about not having Ariel with him every other week. He had tried very hard to maintain a home in a very difficult economy. Both of us had contracting businesses. His was high-end residential home building. Mine was landscaping. Both of us had taken a huge hit financially because of the downturn of the economy.

Ariel had to wait till the end of the day to talk to me. She had to sit squirming in her desk at school with the excitement in her heart about her wishes being fulfilled. When we finally got together at the end of the day, we embraced each other and burst into tears. It had taken 7 years of fighting and three months of surrender, but Ariel got her wish. 

Surrender is letting go. Surrender is having faith that everything will work out in spite of our ego-selves. Surrender is taking your firm grip off the steering wheel of life and allowing The Universe to work things out for every one's highest and best.

The Universe (God, The Divine, Allah) knows so much better what we need. We might not get what we want all the time, but we certainly get what we need. 

We can't live in our passion when we have a firm grip on the steering wheel. When we align our hearts and minds with The Universal Mind (The God Mind) we step into the flow of life. We stop fighting and we begin to really LIVE!

What I learned from this experience is that fighting or warring to get what I want will always and in every way land me face down in the dirt. Surrender allows magic to happen and events to unfold that are exquisite. The Universe is always and in every way working FOR you. When we fight, we get fight back. When we fight, we are in conflict with ourselves. When we let go and let God (take over) we are in the FLOW. It is a journey of faith, trust and miracles. I would rather live with miracles that war. I learned my lesson, the hard way.

I am grateful for this lesson. After receiving a particularly hard one, I always say a prayer of thanks. Being grateful for our lessons, allows life to unfold in a softer way. When we push our energy, we only know of two outcomes. The Universe has infinite outcomes at her disposal. When we let go, we also let go of suffering, resistance and fear. Faith is where we stand, strong.

Jennifer will be on the Jamillah A. Jabaz radio next Tuesday at 11:30 AM PST. I have been asked back for a second week in a row, due to overwhelming excitement and interest in my book, and thought process. Join us for a fun, enlightening show on Tuesday, July 8th. This banner is from yesterday. Same show, different day. 

Jennifer is a catalystic coach, author of Orgasm For Life, speaker and healer. She has been doing this work since 1998. She has recovered from addiction, codependency, sexual dysfunction, depression ..... the list goes on. She lives her life in joy, peace, harmony and passion. Ask her how to have this in your life, today. E-mail her here.  or visit her website here. 

There Is No Such Thing As An ACCIDENT!

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

 

 Everything Happens For A Reason

 

Yesterday, for the first time in many years I was involved in a car accident. This is the first time since my awakening that I have experienced one. My reaction was one of calmness; witnessing, without reaction, without fear, knowing I was safe, protected and moreover, there was an underlying reason.

 

I live in the desert where we celebrate when we see clouds and have parties when it rains. The weather here is very consistent. The one thing we can count on in the desert is a sunny cloudless sky. Yesterday was no exception.

 

Mojave desert, California

 

Why then, was there an accident on dry pavement with no other cars on the road? It was set up and orchestrated by The Universe. It was actually a win-win event. The Universe loves when both parties win by learning something. Sometime ago, I had asked for a way to get my car repaired without cost to me. Over 8 months ago, an errant shopping cart scraped the side of my pristine Honda in a Walmart parking lot (yes I shop there on occasion.) The scrape bothered me. Because I put attention on it, I scraped it up further one afternoon backing out of our yard. I was distracted by my cell phone ringing (something I preach about often). I did not notice I had gotten too close to the gate as I crunched the same spot above my rear wheel well. 

Whenever we put energy on something with our thoughts we expand it. We create more of the same. This is a perfect example of putting negative thought into something that was already not good and making matters worse. So now you know my secret, I am not as perfect as one might think! (That was my attempt at humor). We are all works in progress, learning from each experience we have. The key is to learn.

Since that time, I did not run into another fence or gate. I have been much more careful getting out of tight spaces. I drive the speed limit now. I leave myself enough time to arrive in plenty of time. I have learned through my past experience, mostly.

Yesterday as I drove northbound on Sierra Highway, a two lane secondary road that snakes through the desert endlessly. The Sierra highway has a long history, dating back to the early 1900s built as a trail. It runs from Los Angeles to Lake Tahoe. Read more about the history of Sierra highway here. After dropping Ariel at school, I was again distracted by my cell phone. My friend William was texting me. Although I did not respond to his text, I read it before tossing it into my purse in the seat next to me. My head was down for only a second or two, no more. In that amount of time, my car was pushed almost off the road with an impact that sounded like a sonic boom. Living in the desert, we hear those often. 

There were no other cars on the road ahead or in the oncoming lane. The car seemed to come from out of nowhere. When asked, the woman who hit me, interestingly did not see me either. She had been stopped at a stop sign, on her cell phone (see the mirroring here?). She pulled out crossing the oncoming lane to make contact with my car. There was no one else in sight. 

 

When the driver of the other car stopped. She left her car protruding into the lane of traffic. I had to suggest that she pull ahead and off onto the shoulder for safety. Her actions and reactions were totally unconscious, like she was sleeping with her eyes opened. She was on her cell phone even after the accident. The cell phone only left her ear to dial another number. Even when the highway patrol officer showed up, she continued to stay on her cell phone. The whole time we were stopped exchanging information she was on her cell phone. She was distracted, fragmented and ungrounded. She could not breathe. I had to help her calm down as her blood pressure was rising. She appeared to be about 26 - 28 years old. She had 4 names on her documentation and was currently divorced. 

No one was hurt. Not even my dogs, Karma and our new little puppy, Yoda (who was safe on the floor). My air bags did not deploy. My car was still driveable, as was the other woman's car. The driver of the "other" car was driving with a suspended licence. She had borrowed her boyfriend's car to go pick up her 3 small children. She was unemployed. When we exchanged information, the woman was hyperventilating. She was in abject fear. She had already been arrested for driving without a license and her car was impounded. I did not blame or condemn her. I only asked why she was driving with a suspended license? 

Why did this happen? 

 

Good question Grasshopper! This accident happened for many reasons. The Universe sends us messages through lessons. If we learn the lesson, we move on, graduate and don't have to repeat the lesson. If we choose to be stupid, stubborn or have our head's up our butts, we will have to repeat the grade, take another final exam and then once we pass by learning and stopping the behavior we get to graduate! Learning is the key ingredient. 

The parallels between this young woman and myself except for skin color were quite remarkable. However, nothing is beyond the power of The Universe/ Source. Here they are:

1. We were both were female.

2. We both had 3 children.

3. We both had been married 4 times.

4. We were both distracted by our cell phones.

5. We were both doing something illegal. 

6. This was not the first time that both had been warned by either police or The Universe about being on our cell phones while driving.

7. Neither of us were hurt.

8. Both of our cars were driveable after the accident. 

   
   

 Lessons Are Here To Teach Us Something

Driving while using a cell phone in the state of California is illegal. There is a reason it is illegal. It is dangerous. We both have children that learn from our behavior. My daughter is about to be driving herself. How can I tell my daughter not to talk on her cell phone or text while driving if I am not teaching by example? This parallel could be expressed in other ways, if we lie, we can't expect our children not to lie. If we cheat on our partners, we can't expect our partners not to cheat on us. If we don't love and accept ourselves, we can't others to love and accept ourselves. Energy always moves in a circle. Whatever we send out comes back to us, without exception.

The Universe likes win-win situations. I learned something valuable yesterday. I was able to see the gift in the accident. I was getting my car fixed by one of the best insurance companies in the country. USAA is the Holy Grail of insurance companies. My car was still drivable. I was not hurt. I learned my lesson without a financial cost, which is my request of The Universe. 

 

I will not use my cell phone while driving again. I recognize how distracted we get by reading a text, or even talking on the phone. I do not want to put anyone else in danger with my behavior. The woman was using her boyfriend's car. Not only will his insurance go up, but she has to answer to him for the accident. Her lesson was a more difficult and more long-lasting one. Her children could have been in the car, thankfully they were not. Did she learn not to talk on her cell phone while driving? I don't know and it is none of my business. If she didn't there will be another more difficult lesson for her down the road. The Universe will teach her. It is not up to me. 

The Lessons Get Harder

When we don't learn our lessons, we will repeat them again and again. Only, the lessons become more difficult. They often hurt us more or have more profound results. In my case, not learning from an abusive relationship and not healing my issues completely led to another more abusive relationship, where the losses were greater. We have to heal our core issues. If we feel like a victim, we will be victimized. If we feel unworthy, we will attract someone who treats us as if we are unworthy. They may cheat on us, or leave us because they feel we are not good enough for them.

 

These are all lessons I have learned through my own healing. Looking outside of ourselves for acceptance and validation that never arrives is because we don't feel worthy ourselves. How much longer will you continue to struggle in pain and suffering? Isn't it time to hire a healed coach. One that has been there and mastered her own issues of Self. I used to be in conflict. I felt ashamed, depressed, ungrounded and unfulfilled. I constantly looked for love and acceptance outside of me. I no longer need another to fulfill me. I am fulfilled by myself through my relationship with myself and connection to Source (God). I help women to achieve complete self acceptance so that success and love no longer alludes them. Having complete self acceptance means you will attract others who love and accept themselves. You will stop settling for less than you deserve just to have a relationship. Contact Jennifer now for a Discovery session to find which pathway is best for your healing. Jennifer has several offerings for every budget. If not NOW, WHEN?  Contact Jennifer NOW!