By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Real fathers continue to be involved with their children. Their children matter to them. The ending of a marriage does not have to mean the end of the relationship with the child.
|My sons with their father in Colorado 6/2015|
Anyone can be a father. Being a parent is entirely another story. Of all the events in our lives, I believe parenting is one of the most challenging. We set standards for our children, teach morals, beliefs and give them the freedom to be themselves, to make their own mistakes and learn. Fathers have the role of modelling for their children about being out in the world. Our relationship with our fathers, healed or unhealed is what creates the foundation for our success, ability to accumulate wealth and make money, or not. If we continue to have issues with these things, we need to heal these issues.
|Attending my daughter's choral event again!|
I salute those men who after a long day of work spend time with their children, who attend their children's games, events and school plays. To those men who live a distance away from their children and continue to be involved, you are amazing! Encouragement, teaching, moulding and guiding are what a loving father does for his children. He sets the tone for his children's success. Our parents do the best they can do for us; we improve upon what they received, by learning from their mistakes and raising the bar.
|All of us together as friends - after divorce and re-marriage|
No one is perfect. Men who can talk about their challenges, sharing with their children how they overcame them, strengthens our off-spring. It teaches the child that issues will come up, we learn and grow from each one.
|A mountain hike in Colorado 2015|
Divorce does not terminate the role of a father. Divorce can add the distance of miles. It does not have to end the relationship with the child. Devoted Dads resolve to do the best they can with what they have been given. Being a father does not end when the child graduates. Even adult children need to have the guidance and of love of their parents long after they have become women and men. Roles change and evolve as our children grow. Instead of having to correct manners and swearing, fathers provide financial guidance, business support and relationship counselling. We see our children through difficulties, as they watch us have ours. We are humans, doing the best we can, rising above our differences, growing in love.
My sons are now in their 30's. Their father and I have been divorced for well over 20 years now. Our sons are now men. They have witnessed both of their parents divorces, re-marry and divorce again. They have learned that relationships are challenging. They have watched us heal our mutual differences and accept each other as friends. We recently spent four nights together under the same roof, the first time in over 20 years. We reminisced, and talked as friends. It was a positive experience for us all. My daughter who lost her father enjoyed time with the boy's father as well.
We enjoyed meals together, outings, hiking the mountains of Colorado. It was a beneficial experience for us. Just because a marriage ends, does not mean the love is gone. It just changes form.
Love Never Dies It Just Changes Form
Our children continue to need us in different ways as they mature. Knowing when to be silent, supportive and encouraging is something we learn as we go. Often our children need an ear. Giving guidance only when they ask, takes restraint and maturity. Each of us is having our personal experience being a parent. How do you show up for your children? What model are you giving them to follow?